Andra Day is so timeless, y'all. Like, I stan everything about her. She's truly an underrated vocalist, and apparently, actress as well, as she is starring in Lee Daniels' The United States Vs. Billie Holiday at the end of the month. And because of that, needless to say, if she hasn't already, sis has been jumping on a few radars leading up to its release.
In the latest installment of Harper Bazaar's Go to Bed With Me series, Day taught us her nighttime skincare routine. And ladies, listen, this routine was not for the weak. It consists of steps I never thought of: charcoal oil-pulling masks, serum mixtures, and more. So from vegan cleansers, to donkey milk soap, let's see if you can keep up with her routine below:
Andra opens the video with a disclaimer:
"Before I start this, I just want to say, to be quite honest with you, I actually really don't sleep--I don't sleep much at all, so this isn't really like a 'get ready to go to bed with me' thing, this is more like, 'if you don't sleep, here's how to look like you did, honey."
She then proceeds to cleanse her face with OrganiClear Acne Cleanser, which she described as vegan, organic, clean and nontoxic.
Up next, is the Himalayan Charcoal Mask.
This The Body Shop Himalayan Charcoal Mask exfoliates as she puts it on, and the then it dries into a cooling effect clay that pulls all the oil out of the face. She leaves this on for 30 minutes to allow it to dry completely and then washes it off. Andra then shows us how it works once dries--showing off the oil and dirt that is removed.
Andra then introduces us to Donkey Milk Soap...
"The fatty acids in donkey milk is so good for your skin. I actually got into it because I read a story of Cleopatra's: she used to bathe in donkey's milk and I was like, honey, that sounds legit so I need to know what's up."
She cleanses one more time, using an astringent:
Of this step she says:
"I have to cleanse and clarify my skin, so I do, even after doing those two different washes and that detoxifying face mask, I still go in with an astringent."
She uses Clean & Clear Deep Cleaning Astringent. Be sure to go in an upwards motion, and get those ears and neck too!
After a toner, a product mishap that she continues to use, and a few others (three to be exact), then comes her infamous serum routine. And ladies, she uses a LOT:
"So, I know this sounds crazy and it is crazy and so all of these dermatologists and estheticians are going to be like [insert alarm sounds], but it works for me and my skin looks really good when I'm done using it."
Watch Andra Day's gradually interesting 32-step routine in full below:
Do you plan to use Andra Day's 32-Step skincare routine?
Featured image by Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images