I have a girlfriend in her 50s who claims she doesn't recall one time when she's ever looked directly into her vagina. Not during sex. Not when she had her kids. Never. According to her, she basically washes it and trims it from time to time and that's about it.
Meanwhile, I'm the kind of woman who feels like my va-jay-jay is like a plant; it deserves to be loved on and even talked to on occasion. It's nothing for me to take out a handheld mirror and do my own impromptu inspecting to see how things are going down there. I'll even proudly shout her out when necessary.
Most of my friends know that my vagina and I are buddies. Maybe that's why it's not uncommon for them to hit me up with random questions like, "What should I wash my vagina with?"
Okay. The short answer is "absolutely nothing." One of the best things about our vaginas is they are self-cleaning; our bodies provide everything they need to maintain a pH balance of 3.8-4.5, which is why we shouldn't douche; it throws the balance off. But when it comes to our labia — the external folds of our vulva, which is the outer part of our vagina — that is something that we can safely pamper and love on with a few beauty products (preferably all-natural ones).
If you want to give your vagina — and by that, I mean labia — a bit of a treat, here are some all-natural homemade washes that are not only safe to use but can benefit your lady parts in so many ways.
Disclaimer: When it comes to the recipes that require water, room-temperature distilled water is best because it's the kind of water that is contamination-free and helps to detoxify your organs.
Rosewater and Lavender Wash:
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Rosewater is great for your labia because it's full of antioxidants, helps to treat infections, and also helps to soothe skin irritation. Lavender oil works well with it because it provides a calming effect while it soothes skin irritation and reduces PMS-related symptoms. Witch hazel is awesome because it contains tannins that help to tighten up superficial cells (it's also great for healing hemorrhoids and postpartum swelling). Rosemary oil increases blood circulation while reducing stress. The more blood that's flowing to your genitalia, the more awesome your orgasms will be!
Recipe:
1 Cup of Distilled Water
1/3 Cup of Rosewater
¼ Cup of Witch Hazel
1 Tablespoon of Rosemary Oil
6 Drops of Lavender Oil
Mix all of these ingredients together in a bottle, shake well and immediately apply (if you wish). This wash should hold for a couple of months, so long as it's kept at room temperature.
Lemon Leaves Wash:
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Lemon leaves have antibacterial and hypoallergenic properties that help to gently and effectively cleanse your labia. If you have any skin discoloration in that area, they can even that out over time too. Something else that lemon leaves have the ability to do is make your labia feel refreshed immediately after using it. Tea tree oil is ideal if you're dealing with a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis. That's because it contains powerful antibacterial and antifungal properties that are able to relieve the symptoms of both, oftentimes within 24-48 hours.
Recipe:
1 Cup of Distilled Water
3 Lemon Leaves
1 Drop of Tea Tree Oil
Boil the leaves in the water and let it steep for 30 minutes. Add the tea tree oil and allow it to cool down to room temperature. It's best to store this in a glass container. It should keep well for 30 days or so.
Red Clover and Sandalwood Wash:
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Something else that's great for treating PMS-related symptoms is red clover tea; that's because it is rich in isoflavones (which are basically phytoestrogens). Another benefit of red clover tea is that it slows down the appearance of aging (labia lips tend to lose collagen over time just like everything else). This tea can even aid in alleviating certain menopause-related issues (like poor blood circulation and vaginal dryness). Sandalwood contains anti-viral and antiseptic properties. Plus, it's known to provide an aphrodisiac effect. Perfect for those nights when you've got a lil' sumthin' sumthin' planned.
Recipe:
1 Cup of Distilled Water
1 Red Clover Tea Bag
3 Sandalwood Oil Drops
Boil the tea bag in the water and let it steep for an hour. Add the sandalwood oil, let the solution cool and put all of this into a glass container. It should hold for 30-45 days.
Calendula and Coconut Oil Wash:
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Organic coconut oil is a vagina's best friend because it contains the kind of ingredients that kill bacteria, viruses, and fungi. It also has vitamin E in it to keep your labia soft and smooth. If you happen to have eczema or psoriasis around your labia or inner thighs, calendula has a great reputation for relieving the kind of skin that is associated with it. It is also the kind of oil that helps to keep your skin firm and moisturized.
Recipe:
1 Cup of Distilled Water
3 Tablespoons of Organic Coconut Oil
5 Drops of Calendula Oil
Mix all of the ingredients together and zap the wash in the microwave for about 10 seconds (just enough for the coconut oil to melt). Let it cool and put it in a microwave-safe bottle (so that you can microwave it again if the coconut oil solidifies). This one has a 3-4 month shelf life.
Aloe Vera, Yogurt and Honey Wash (Mask):
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Everyone should have at least one aloe vera plant in their house because there's honestly not too much it can't do! As far as your labia is concerned, it contains all sorts of vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and antioxidants to protect its skin. Aloe vera also contains polyphenols that help to keep bacteria at bay. Plain yogurt is loaded with probiotics that significantly reduce the chances of you getting a yeast infection. As far as raw honey goes, one study revealed that when it's added to yogurt, it can reduce yeast infection-related symptoms by as much as 88 percent!
Recipe:
1 Slice of Aloe
1/3 Cup of Plain Yogurt
3 Teaspoons of Raw Honey
This particular recipe is both thick and perishable (which is why it's more of a mask than a wash). That said, it's best to cut the gel out of the plant and put it, along with the yogurt and honey, into a blender for a few seconds. Then apply it to your vagina, let it sit for five minutes, and then rinse well (really well). Put the remaining amount in your fridge and it should keep for a couple of weeks.
Chamomile and Frankincense Wash:
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Chamomile tea does everything from boost immunity and reduce muscle spasms, to lighten skin and decrease stress levels in the body. It also helps to accelerate cell and tissue regeneration so that your labia can stay plump and pretty. Frankincense is an earthy scent that works as an astringent to kill germs and bacteria. Sweet almond oil contains plenty of vitamins A and E to moisturize, heal, and protect your labia.
Recipe:
1 Cup of Distilled Water
1 Tea Bag of Chamomile Tea
3 Tablespoons of Sweet Almond Oil
4 Drops of Frankincense Oil
Boil the chamomile tea bag in the water and let it steep for 30 minutes. Then add the sweet almond oil and frankincense oil. Let it cool and store in a glass container. This also will hold for about a month.
Baking Soda Wash:
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If you simply want to be proactive in keeping your vagina at the pH level it's supposed to be, look no further than baking soda. Being that it's naturally alkaline, it has a remarkable way of balancing your vagina's pH levels out. This means it helps prevent yeast infections, foul odors, and sometimes itching and burning too.
Recipe:
½ Cup of Distilled Water
½ Cup of Baking Soda
Mix the baking soda in with the water and use. Make sure to shake well every time before using this particular wash. This should keep well for at least 4-5 months. Enjoy (them all)!
Featured image by Getty Images.
- How To Care For Your Vagina AFTER Sex - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Keep Your Vaginal pH Balanced - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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