

I Cleared $35K Worth Of Debt While Making $12 An Hour
In 2009, I lost everything. My career, relationship and home. It's amazing how quickly unemployment can knock you down and change the entire trajectory of your life. I went from earning and saving good money to waking up on my 30th birthday living on my sister's couch.
My credit card debt ballooned to $35,000 and my 802 credit score plummeted into the 500's because I couldn't pay bills. Fast forward five years later and I've not only dug myself out of that hole, but I built a business on the way up. I'm currently a speaker, bestselling author, and financial educator running an internationally recognized brand, but before building a successful business I hit rock bottom.
Here are some money lessons I learned from the struggle:
Always Save for a Rainy Day El Niño
There's no way to predict long-term unemployment, but you should always prepare for it with an emergency fund. I lived well below my means to save money before losing my job. Thankfully, I had some savings to live on.
My first "real" job at 21 was as a teacher's assistant. It only paid $12 per hour, so I lived with my parents to stack coins. I found a modest yet affordable rental in New Jersey with a roommate (my sister), that cost just $1100/month, $550 per person including utilities. As my income steadily increased, I kept the same standard of living and a strict bi-weekly budget. I used envelopes filled with cash to divide my pay into categories: bills, savings, entertainment and grooming.
I lived off one paycheck and saved the other.
By 25, I had $40,000 saved in cash.
Live Richer Lesson #1:
Nothing in life is guaranteed, so establishing good saving habits no matter how much you make is invaluable. Downgrade your life, if necessary. This could mean cutting cable, getting a roommate or keeping your gel manicure on for a few extra weeks.
How To Live This Lesson Now:
Begin to set aside a few dollars from each paycheck in a savings account. Don't have the discipline? Start with Digit. This free resource studies your financial moves and automatically transfers money from your bank account to your Digit Account. They will send you daily, fun texts with updates of your balances and transfers. You can choose to save more, pause savings or withdrawal your money via text as well. Your money is FDIC insured and they have a no-overdraft guarantee. Oh, and they do it for free!
Nothing Good Comes Easy
Before joblessness, my savings game was on point, but my investment game was lacking. I made one crucial mistake that put me in a world of debt and made unemployment overwhelming. At 27, I asked a wealthy friend of mine to teach me how to invest and he pitched me a genius plan. We would buy high-end clothing in New York and ship it to Paris to sell in one of his stores.
My return was supposed to be $1,200 per week for two years. Yup, you read that right. I thought I was going to make $62,400 per year shipping clothes across the pond. I was so excited about making racks on racks that I applied for new credit cards and took out cash advances totaling $20,000.
We sent our first shipment to Paris then I never heard from him or received any money. It devastated me at the time, but I can appreciate the lesson. First, be careful who you trust. Second, if a plan sounds too good to be true, believe it. Last, hard work and passion are what will pay off tenfold, not a get rich quick scheme.
Live Richer Lesson #2:
There's no such thing as easy money. When my "friend" aka The Thief shared his get-rich-quick scheme with me, I should have ran for the hills. Looking back on it, it didn't make sense. Rarely in life do you make a ton of money without knowledge and work.
How To Live This Lesson Now:
If you're interested in investing, you first have to invest in knowledge. Two financial books to help you get started are: The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason, Stock Market Investing Mini Lessons For Beginners: A starter guide for beginner investors by Mabel Nunez.
Odd Jobs Add Up
Losing my job and the implications of bad investing had me down and out. At 30, I was directionless and living off the little savings I had left. I didn't know how to start over after losing so much. Back when I was a teacher, staff members took notice of my money management skills and looked to me as a financial resource.
Looking for something to keep me busy, I began volunteering at several nonprofits teaching financial education. I networked like my life depended on it and asked nonprofits to refer me to other organizations for paid opportunities. Since I couldn't find 9 to 5 work, I did a bunch of side hustles to make money. I took on one-on-one financial consultations, babysitting and tutoring.
Sidebar: Don't discount volunteering. I met my first clients for The Budgetnista by volunteering. By combining volunteering and sharing me in action on social media, I was able secure a new client each time I spoke and posted myself speaking online. In the beginning, 80% of my business came from the posts I shared on Facebook. So use your social media network to showcase your skills and increase your income.
Live Richer Lesson #3:
If there's no place for you in the workforce, make your own way. Use your experience and passions to offer a product or service that someone finds valuable. Hustle even if you have a full-time job. Multiple streams of income will lead to financial security.
How To Live This Lesson Now:
- Use Your Degree. If you have the education, put it to use. You can charge more money for a service when you're an expert in a field. Think about how you can shape your education into an extra source of income.
- Do What You Do For a Living. You can hit the ground running with your side hustle if you have work experience in the industry. There's no learning curve and you have a resume that proves you know what you're doing.
- Activate Your Passion. Start charging for things you already do for free. You already have an established clientele who like your work and you can use them to spread the word.
- Negotiate a Raise. Start to collect all of the amazing value you bring to your job. Put it together in a file. Make sure you monetize your value. Example: The decision you made to do _________ is saving the company $10,000/year.
Take Ownership of Your Situation
At first, I didn't want to face my credit card debt from the bad investment even when I started making money again. I felt paying any more than the minimum payment was admission of guilt and I didn't want to take full responsibility.
Only after owning the mistake and forgiving myself was I able to start crushing the debt. I transferred my credit card debt to cards that offered introductory 0% interest rates, so the money I paid largely went to principal instead of interest. (Use Magnify Money to help you find the best balance transfer cards.) If I had continued to sit back without taking ownership, interest would have increased my debt exponentially.
Since I've been through the struggle, I understand how disheartening financial missteps can be. You feel destitute, desperate and hopeless, but there is a way out if you face the situation. Open the bills, pick up the phone for collectors and form a plan. Sure, it won't happen overnight, but you have the power to change your situation.
Live Richer Lesson #4:
Have you made financial mistakes in the past? Are you currently making financial mistakes? Will you probably make financial mistakes in the future? Yes?! Well, so did Will Smith, Rihanna, Suze Orman, and me!
Sometimes you are unable to move forward financially, not because you don't make enough money, not because you don't have the resources, and not because your situation is un-repairable. The truth is, you have yet to get over your financial mistakes if you want to move onto greener pastures (pun intended). Financial forgiveness is one of the first keys to becoming financially healthy.
How To Live This Lesson Now:
- Admit to Yourself and Take Ownership. Confess; say "I messed up when I __________". Feel free to substitute the word "messed" with your verb of choice.
- Identify the What and Why (Be Very Specific). Take a break from beating yourself up for a minute and clearly identify your mistake and why you made it.
- Tell Someone You Trust. OK, so this may be a tough for you, but tell a trusted confidant. Doing so will allow you to let go of the shame, begin to forgive yourself, and ultimately work on a solution.
- Focus on a Solution. So the truth is out, and it's time that you focus on what IS, verses on what ISN'T.
- Plan, Then Work the Plan. Once you've drafted your list of possible solutions, pick one and begin crafting a plan. Not sure how to start or what to do?
Using these four lessons, I now run a successful business, and no longer struggle financially.
Tiffany Aliche, better known as "The Budgetnista", is America's favorite financial educator and she's here to answer your money questions.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Chief Mom Officer: 23 Quotes From Working Moms Finding Their Balance
The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood.
We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
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This Is How Geminis Pair With Each Zodiac Sign In Matters Of The Heart
Diving into the compatibility of Gemini is a unique one because a Gemini has no restrictions when it comes to love. They are open-minded enough to get along with everyone, and their charming and talkative nature attracts many to them. Geminis are notorious in Astrology, and not always for the best reasons. They are talked about the most regarding their relationships and how they are as partners. So what is it about this air sign that intrigues some and irritates others? Is Gemini a good partner to be with, or are they a walking red flag?
Who Are Geminis Compatible With?
Well, there is something to be noted about Gemini that is often not known. In Astrology, Gemini is represented as The Twins, and in Tarot, Gemini is represented as The Lovers. They do have a deep connection to relationships, love, and partnerships, and this energy is not talked about enough when it comes to Gemini.
Geminis make good partners as they know what it takes to be one. They are the type to support their partners unconditionally and to see their partners in the best light. This is why so many are attracted to Gemini in the first place because they make others feel like being themselves is enough and is worthy of love and affection. They are also extremely fun partners to be around, and nothing is ever dull in a relationship with a Gemini.
The challenges that arise with a Gemini relationship and where they get their bad rap from, however, have to do with Gemini’s flighty and inconsistent energy. Being a mutable sign, you never really know what you are going to get with a Gemini, and not in a good way. They are very impulsive and can be irrational when it comes to love.
Love is often where they feel the need to take the most risks, often at the expense of someone else. If they feel smothered or controlled in any type of way in a relationship, they tend to run, and sometimes that’s into another person’s arms.
Geminis need a lot of mental stimulation to feel connected and need a partner who has this same type of spark. It may take a while for a Gemini to commit, and they tend to go through many trials and errors in love, however, if they get into a relationship with the perfect balance of love and spontaneity, they will not have a challenge being devoted to that person. You will never forget a relationship with a Gemini.
GEMINI + ARIES
Gemini and Aries are soulmates. This is a relationship the two find easy and comfortable, and like they get each other on another level than most. Gemini and Aries have a similar energy, and their curiosity and excitement for life make this a fun couple that everyone loves to be around. This is the type of relationship to have funny banter and who loves to joke around and not take life too seriously. They both value their freedom and independence and won’t put too much pressure on each other, which makes this a relationship that can go the distance. They respect each other, they put good energy into the relationship, and this is a dynamic couple.
GEMINI + TAURUS
A Gemini and Taurus relationship is not the worst of the worst, but it’s also not the best of the best for Gemini. Being that these two are next to each other on the Zodiac Wheel, there is a unique connection and familiarity these two have together that can’t go unnoticed. Gemini can learn a lot from Taurus and vice versa, and these two are usually willing to learn and grow with each other. What makes things work here is they both value relationships in life, so the two of them will like to spend time together. Although, there tends to be a lack of basic chemistry in the relationship between Gemini and Taurus that is needed in order to lead to a committed relationship.
GEMINI + GEMINI
A Gemini and Gemini relationship is wild. This is a relationship that is like a roller coaster ride for both of them, and the potential for longevity is slim. However, a lot of fun will be had, and communication between the two will be this relationship’s strength. The challenge with an air sign and air sign couple is that the relationship is often flighty, and unless there are other factors in the birth chart, it can be difficult for these two to settle down. This relationship may seem like a good idea in the beginning, but it may eventually become a burden to one or the other. Nonetheless, they will have a good time together.
GEMINI + CANCER
Gemini and Cancer is a rare type of relationship that you don’t see often. Although Gemini is typically the initiator in their relationships, Cancer will most likely be the one to make the first move here. Cancer finds Gemini intriguing and interesting, and Gemini senses this from Cancer and wraps them in their web effortlessly. Over time, Cancer may find Gemini too hard to grasp, and Cancer is the type of lover who needs more constant devotion and love than Gemini is willing to give. Both of them tend to act on impulse, and this relationship is typically one with a lot of emotional and mental upheavals.
GEMINI + LEO
Gemini and Leo make great best friends and lovers. This is a connection that is often formed from friendship in the beginning and then leads to a deeper kind of love. Leo finds Gemini sexy and intriguing, and what the other signs complain about in Gemini, Leo feels like they can handle. After a time, however, Leo may find some of Gemini’s motives and intentions too shaky for committed Leo, as they truly need someone who is all in. If Gemini is in that place and is willing to give their love and devotion to Leo and vice versa, this can be a beautiful relationship full of mutual respect and good times.
GEMINI + VIRGO
This is a relationship that is based on communication. Gemini and Virgo have a unique mental connection as they are both ruled by the planet of communication, Mercury, and they are both mutable signs. This relationship may at first seem unusual to outsiders and even to them, as they are both very different people when it comes down to it, however, the more they get to know each other, the more they like what they see. All in all, though, Virgo may not have the tolerance to make this something long-term, and Gemini may find Virgo too uptight. Both find it difficult to see each other in their futures, but both appreciate the energy of understanding and freedom in the relationship.
GEMINI + LIBRA
Gemini and Libra have a relationship that is full of love. This is a couple that likes spending time together, and they both find each other attractive on many different levels. Libra is the romantic, and Gemini is the charmer. Libra likes the flirtatious energy that Gemini gives, and this is a couple that doesn’t grow tired of each other. They are both highly intellectual, and the communication between the two of them is something special. Gemini will have to watch out for their wildcard tendencies to make this relationship work long-term, however, because Libra will begin to find all the things they thought were charming about Gemini distasteful. This relationship has a lot working for them to work, but balance will be necessary.
GEMINI + SCORPIO
This is a relationship that isn’t for the weak. The sexual compatibility between the two is there, but the mental connection, which is needed for Gemini to get into a relationship in the first place, isn’t. Scorpio needs an emotional connection in a relationship; Gemini craves a mental one. These two are both creative individuals, and they tend to have a bond over music, art, or theatre, however, personality-wise, they will often have disagreements and misunderstandings between each other that make it difficult for the relationship to grow into anything. It seems worth it at first, but these two soon realize there isn’t enough in common to keep them together.
GEMINI + SAGITTARIUS
Gemini and Sagittarius have a lot of fun and laughs together. When in a relationship, they both love to explore the world together, hang out with friends, and build a life that is exciting to live. They are all about creativity and personal expression, and they aren’t the type to hold each other back in any way. This is a couple that can spend hours talking, and that is willing to get to know each other on many different levels. Since these two are sister signs and reside on opposite sides of the Zodiac Wheel, their differences can feel too strong to bear at times, and this relationship can only work if they learn to love and respect each other’s perspective instead of changing them all the time.
GEMINI + CAPRICORN
Gemini and Capricorn are an unusual pair, but anything is possible. The main challenges that arise in this type of relationship are Gemini’s need for freedom and Capricorn’s need for stability. These two both want completely different things out of life and will have to find ways to meet in the middle to make the relationship work. Gemini and Capricorn both have very different energies, and they don’t necessarily mesh well when they come together. Gemini is known for its charm, however, and not even Capricorn can deny that type of spark, so there is a potential for something to happen. All in all, this is one of Gemini’s least compatible matches in Astrology.
GEMINI + AQUARIUS
These two are often found in both friendships and romantic relationships. They get along well, and everything comes naturally to them. Gemini and Aquarius are the type of couple to turn a fling into something more serious. They often meet on the internet or through mutual friends, and these two tend to have a lot of common interests and perspectives. This is a progressive couple who won’t be into societal norms that come with relationships, and they are more likely to do things on their own terms, making their relationship a unique one. Gemini and Aquarius have a lot of love for each other, and this is a couple with strong compatibility.
GEMINI + PISCES
Gemini and Pisces are another more common duo for Gemini. Pisces tend to see with rose-colored glasses when in love, and Gemini admires this type of fantasy world that Pisces opens up to Gemini. Gemini, being their curious selves, finds themselves lost in another world with Pisces, and they feel inspired here. However, with the different perspectives, shifts of energy, and mutable behavior, things can change quickly here, and this relationship either turns out to be a beautiful one or a complete disaster. If this relationship is built on solid ground and not empty promises, then it can work out for the best.
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