I’ve shared before, throughout the years that, although holidays aren’t exactly my thing, as a marriage life coach of over 20 years at this point, there is a theory about the origin of Valentine’s Day that I can low-key get down with. Legend has it that a priest from way back in the day ultimately became a martyr for marrying couples during a season of war (while Emperor Claudius II was ruling). Since it was believed that husbands didn’t make good soldiers, men weren’t allowed to marry during that time. St. Valentine didn’t care, though and he ultimately lost his life because of it.
Whether folks consciously realize it or not, that’s probably why, whenever the topic of Valentine’s Day comes up, couples immediately come to mind. That’s fair. However — and no, this is not to gaslight you — it can’t be said enough that Valentine’s Day really is (supposed to be) a holiday that celebrates love, in general…not just romantic love. And that’s why I thought that it would be a good idea to provide a quick list of 20 ways that EVERYONE, no matter what their current relational status may be, can embrace and enjoy February 14.
Because love is something that should be acknowledged and amplified whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not. Right? But of course.
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1. Book a spa day.
This year, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, why not work half a day and then spend the other half at a local spa? A facial and massage are two great ways to decompress and pamper yourself as you prepare for whatever weekend plans that you may have — date or not.
2. Or cultivate a spa day at home.
Wanna hold on to those coins? Have a spa day at home. If a part of you is thinking, “That just sounds like a lot of work,” if you’re in a relationship, you and your bae can do it together or, if you’re single, invite a girlfriend over. From prepping to “doing” to clean-up, it’ll be a lot more fun if you’ve got some company around.
3. Get some new lingerie.
Personally, I think that Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to get some new lingerie (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). Whether you plan on being in bed all weekend for the purpose of sex, rest, or both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”), you will feel so much more sensual and attractive in a new babydoll, romper or pair of sexy ass panties.
4. Invest in a new sexy scent.
Last week, while in a home improvement store, two women tried to guess what I was wearing. When one flat-out asked and I said, “I never tell,” she said to her associate, “Girl, she just doesn’t want us smelling like her.” EXACTLY. It’s an essential oil blend that I made up and yes, signature scents have a way of making you feel…beautifully distinctive. So, whether you want to seduce your bae or simply boost your own self-confidence, cop a new sexy scent. Since science says that fragrances also calm, soothe, and cultivate fond memories — you’ve got three more reasons why doing so is an absolute must.
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5. Book a photoshoot.
It’s kind of a shame that, unless I truly have to, I rarely get pictures (professionally) taken. It’s a wise thing to do, though: to see yourself all dolled up, with good lighting and in poses that commemorate where you are in different stages and seasons of your life. That said, in honor of love (including self-love), book a professional photoshoot for yourself, for you and your partner, or with some of your favorite people. Even if it happens later in the year, at least use Valentine’s Day weekend to get the ball to rolling.
6. Have a meal and/or flowers delivered to work.
If you are going to work on Friday, wouldn’t it be nice if someone else had your favorite meal or flowers delivered to your job? 1000 percent. You shouldn’t let that keep you from doing it, though. Or, if you are single, you and one of your friends can make the mutual decision to send each other a meal and/or a bouquet to each other. The “itch gets scratched” either way.
7. Purchase a stone/crystal that symbolizes (self) love.
I’m a fan of certain stones and crystals, mostly because of what they represent and symbolize. And so, whether you’ve got a man or not, treat yourself to some jewelry that represents self-love; ones like rose quartz, moonstone, rhodonite, amethyst, or citrine (for starters). After all, you can’t love others good, until/unless you love yourself…well. Etsy has some awesome customized pieces, by the way.
8. Recreate a favorite date.
If you do happen to be in a relationship, something that I think is very romantic is to recreate your first or favorite date with your partner. It has a way of bringing back butterflies and also creating really special new memories like nothing else will or can. On the flip side, if you’re someone who dates yourself, recreate a great moment from that. Or, if you’re like me and you and your friends go on dates, recreate a top five of one of those. Research says that nostalgia has a way of making our lives feel more meaningful. What better time to emphasize this fact than on a love celebration day?
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9. Or go on a date with friends.
Something that’s pretty awesome about Valentine’s Day is there are restaurant discounts all over the place! And even though a lot of the deals are for two people, if you’re not in a relationship, my advice would be to take some friends and y’all get the “two for” deal(s) that way. A list of some of 2025’s Valentine’s Day restaurant specials is located here.
10. Plan a trip.
Another (potentially) unfortunate thing about Valentine’s Day is far too many people think that they should be “love on steroids” on that day and then it’s okay to half-step on expressing love the rest of the year. NOPE. If anything, Valentine’s Day should remind people to “amplify love” as much as possible. One way of doing that? If you’re in a relationship, plan a romantic vacation together. If you’re single, plan a trip or a girls’ trip. Make a promise that it will happen before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around; then plan (and save) accordingly.
11. Get creative with red wine.
Red is the signature color for Valentine’s Day, mostly because it symbolizes things like love and passion. Since red wine is considered to be an aphrodisiac and it’s great for your health due to all of the antioxidants that are in it, everyone should indulge in a glass while toasting to five things that they love about their partner and/or themselves. After you do that, check out “Why Wine Deserves A Spot In Your Natural Beauty Arsenal” for some other creative ways to implement this popular drink.
12. Have a ball with some dark chocolate.
Speaking of signature stuff, the signature candy for Valentine’s Day? Chocolate. Hands down. That’s why you should get some Hershey’s kisses for yourself, if you do have a bae, get some (eh hem) chocolate paint and, whatever your relational status is, also read, “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe,” so that you don’t have to feel the least bit guilty for indulging.
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13. Design a love-themed vision board.
Vision boards may not be discussed as much as they used to be, oh, say, 10 years ago; however, they still deserve properly placed shout-outs. Because there is data to support that visualization can help people reach their goals, going through the creative process of putting together a vision board can help motivate you, bring forth a sense of clarity, and help to remain focused until your goals are achieved. Does this include when it comes to your love life (or the love life that you wish to have)? Absolutely. Check out “Before You Quit Dating Altogether: Have You Ever Tried 'Vision Board Dating' Before?” for more on that.
14. Make a love-themed playlist.
Something that YouTube does for me that I actually appreciate, is it automatically populates music playlists (based on songs that I select) that I can save and listen to whenever I want. One list, in particular, that I go to often, includes Troop’s “Still in Love;” Cherelle’s “Everything I Miss at Home;” Christopher Williams’s “All I See;” Brandy’s “When You Touch Me;” Force M.D.’s “Tender Love;” Lisa Fischer’s “How Can I Ease the Pain;” and Faith Evans’s “Soon As I Get Home” — and that’s just for starters!
Ain’t nothin’ like listening to an hour’s worth of some of your favorite love jams — either to copulate with (check out “Before You Pull Out Your Playlist, This Is How Music Affects Your Sex Life”) or to fall asleep to on Valentine’s Day. A listening experience that is truly unmatched.
15. Binge-watch romantic movies.
I’m telling y’all — knock Tubi if you want to, but it does have some gems on there from time to time. This past weekend, I checked out The Number (Issa Rae and some of the Black & Sexy gang…if ya know, ya know) and I cracked up a few times. Anyway, whether you’re cozied up with your man on the couch, you and your long-distance boo or friends decide to throw something like a Hulu or Amazon Watch party (read more about how to here), or you and your cable-knit blanket want to snuggle alone, you can almost never go wrong with watching some rom-coms on Valentine’s Day.
16. Enjoy a (romantic dinner) (possibly at home).
If you’re single, you probably won’t care (at least too much) about waiting 30-60 minutes for a table on Valentine’s Day. If you are in a relationship, though, to avoid all of that nonsense, you might want to either have a romantic dinner delivered to you or make something together at home. When it comes to the second option, don’t knock it. Put on something sexy, listen to some seductive music, and then at least skim through “Here’s How To Make Cooking A Meal Together Sexy (When You Hate To Cook)”. There is something very sensual about preparing aphrodisiac-centered foods, scantily-clad, with your man. Always.
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17. Indulge in something sweet.
If you don’t partake in any of these other suggestions, at least get yourself a pint of your favorite ice cream, a slice of your favorite cake, a couple of donuts, some strawberries, and whipped topping — hell, SOMETHING that is sweet because it is almost criminal to go through an entire Valentine’s Day and your tastebuds didn’t get a little bit of sugar on them. C’mon now.
18. Soak in a rose petal-filled bathtub.
Most grocery stores have rose petals in their floral section, so get some to put into your bathtub. The scent reduces anxiety, the feel helps to soften your skin and if intimacy is on the agenda for the evening, it is a great way to “pregame” your erogenous zones. Just sayin’.
19. Spend the night at a hotel.
A change of scenery. If you’re in a relationship, it can make sex hotter. If you’re not, it’s a cool way to enjoy some time away from your home without spending the kind of cash that you would if you took an actual vacation. Either way, a (nice) hotel room is gonna be a wise Valentine’s Day investment and a major win.
20. Relax. Relate. Release.
Back when I wrote “What To Do When You Don't Know How To Chill Out” and “How To Stop Having A 'Knee-Jerk Reaction' To Everything,” something that I mentioned was the importance of learning how to relax, relate, and release. That said, as I close this out since Valentine’s Day is all about all things love, please make sure to get into that head and heart space by doing ONLY what will relax you, by entertaining ONLY what your mind, body, and spirit can relate to and by releasing whatever isn’t serving you, well, in the love department — choose to ONLY hold onto what is holding onto you.
Whether you’re in a (romantic) relationship or not, it’s the recipe for having a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Trust me, sis. You’ll adore everything about the day if you do.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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