

When it comes to sex, you can never have too many tricks up your sleeve. A long-term relationship can quickly become boring, and nothing kills desire faster than boredom. When people get comfortable in long-term relationships, they often lose their spark. Relationships are like monthly subscription services. You get the first month for free, but after that, you have to actually start investing in order to continue to reap the benefits.
It is possible to rekindle the sexual spark in your life if the flame has fizzled out. There are a lot of easy fixes that are enjoyable. Getting out of a bedroom funk can be challenging, so here's what you need to do.
1.Scheduled Sex
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Yes, I know! Scheduling sex may not sound sexy, but it is important for people with busy lives to schedule sex regularly in order to maintain a healthy relationship. The act of scheduling sex is a great way for partners to maintain intimacy and satisfaction. Every other aspect of our lives is scheduled; vacations, lunch dates, birthdays, and holiday gatherings. Why not add sex to the list? Intentionally setting aside time for sex shows your partner that sex is important to you.
2.Spontaneous Sex
Yes, I just talked about scheduling sex, but couples should also have spontaneous sex! There's nothing better than spontaneous, out-of-the-blue sex! Seize sexual opportunities when they arise unexpectedly. Unscripted sex always reminds a couple of the fun they used to have at the beginning of their relationship.
3.Morning Sex
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Even though you may not have the freshest breath in the morning, sometimes you need more than an alarm clock to get you started. Plus, getting it on before sunrise has many benefits. The endorphins released during morning sex allow you to start your day feeling relaxed and energized.
4.Try-Something-New Sex
Once a quarter, every couple should try something new in the bedroom. A Google search and/or a trip to a sex shop are almost always required for this type of sex. There is nothing like trying out a new position or discovering different types of foreplay or having sex somewhere other than your bed to expand your sexual experience. Be adventurous and try things you haven't tried before.
5.Make-up Sex
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My toxic trait is fighting with my partner and then having wild make-up sex afterward. One minute you're hot with anger, and the next you're rolling around making passionate love like Yvette and Jody in Baby Boy. Fighting causes dopamine and adrenaline levels to rise, making you and your partner excitable in more ways than one. The reason why make-up sex works is that you are raw, exposed, and vulnerable after a fight, which makes for an ideal combination for hot, steamy sex.
6.Outdoor Sex
There is something exciting, fun, and risky about outdoor sex. It's something about the possibility of getting caught that gets people's sexual juices flowing. Outdoor sex feels naughty and rebellious. Although you may feel brazen, outdoor sex is all about avoiding getting caught. Almost all states prohibit public sex. Hence, plan ahead. Locate a place to get your rocks off that won't land you in jail
7.Romantic Sex
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Every now and then, we all like to be romanced. There is nothing like romantic sex to make you feel passionate, steamy, and intimate. It's all about foreplay, anticipation, and connection. You can connect with your partner by taking it slow and enjoying every moment. Make the mood more romantic by lighting candles, playing music, or having a few drinks.
8.Vacation Sex
Like Thanksgiving and turkey, vacations and sex go hand in hand. Vacations are perfect for rekindling a relationship as they give you more time for each other. Vacations should provide you with the opportunity to renew your sexual intimacy. Imagine yourself in a private room, disconnected from the daily routine of your daily life. Getting away from your usual routine is the thrill of vacation sex.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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From Rock Bottom To Redemption: Paula Patton Opens Up About Her New Film 'Finding Faith'
When Paula Patton’s name is on a project, you already know it’s going to bring some soul. From Jumping the Broom to Baggage Claim, she’s long been a radiant presence on-screen. But in her new film Finding Faith, premiering in theaters June 16–17 via Fathom Events, Paula digs deeper—into grief, healing, and ultimately, redemption.
The film follows Faith Mitchell, a wife and mother whose life is upended by a devastating loss. As she spirals into despair, it’s the love of family, friends, and God that slowly leads her back to light. And for Paula, this story wasn’t just a role—it was personal.
“It connected to a time in my life that I could really relate to,” she says. “That feeling of having lost so much and feeling like so much pain, and not knowing how to deal with the pain… and numbing out to do that.”
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A Story That Hit Close to Home
Having been sober for seven years, Paula says the emotional territory was familiar. But more than anything, it brought her closer to a deeper truth.
“Once you give [the numbing] up, you have to walk in the desert alone… and that’s when I truly found faith in God.”
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While the film touches on loss and addiction, Finding Faith ultimately lives up to its title. Paula describes the acting process as cathartic—and one she was finally ready for.
“Art became healing,” she says. “That was the biggest challenge of all… but it was a challenge I wanted.”
More Than an Inspirational Thriller
Finding Faith is described as an “inspirational thriller,” with layered tones of romance, suspense, and spiritual reflection. Paula credits that dynamic blend to writer-director LazRael Lison.
“That’s what I love about Finding Faith,” she explains. “Yes, she goes on this journey, but there’s other storylines happening that help it stay entertaining.”
"Finding Faith" cast
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On-Set Magic with Loretta Devine
With a cast stacked with phenomnal talent—Loretta Devine, Keith David, Stephen Bishop—it’s no surprise that the film also came alive through unscripted moments.
“We did this kitchen scene… and Loretta changed it,” Paula shares. “She wouldn’t leave. I had to change my dance and figure out how to work with it, and it took on this whole other layer. I’m forever grateful.”
Faith When It Feels Like Night
The film leans on the biblical verse: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Paula says that reminder is something she’s lived.
“When you’re feeling so anxious, and you look out in the distance and see nothing there… that’s when you have to trust God’s timing.”
Divine Timing Behind the Scenes
Paula didn’t just star in the film—she produced it through her company, Third Eye Productions. And the way the opportunity came to her? Nothing short of divine.
“I said, ‘Just for one week, believe everything’s going to be perfect,’” she recalls. “That same day, my friend Charles called and said, ‘I have a film for you. It’s called Finding Faith.’ I thought I was going to throw the phone down.”
What’s Next for Paula Patton?
When asked about a dream role, Paula didn’t name a genre or a character. Her focus now is on legacy—and light.
“I want to make sure I keep making art that entertains people, but also has hope… That it has a bright light at the end to get us through this journey here on Earth.”
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