My husband is my best friend in the whole wide world.
What I love about our relationship is that when he can, he tries really hard to impress me. But he's also missed the “positive impression" mark several times since we've been hitched. Especially that one time he booked us a couples getaway at a "hotel" in Houston. Our stay ended with us fighting roaches off of us like we were part of the extended version of the movie 300, that included a not-so-ripped black couple.
The roaches looked exactly like this army.
It was the worst hotel that I've ever visited. Like ever. In life. But it was also the best time I've ever had with him, and it taught me that marriage is about making lasting memories. It also taught me to never allow your partner to book a hotel room without checking the Yelp! reviews first.
It all happened last summer when my husband and I started making plans to pick up our son from his granny's house outside of Houston. My son had spent six weeks of his summer vacation with his grandmother, and he was having the time of his life. To allow him time to eat breakfast, and say goodbye to his cousins, we made plans to pick him up on a Saturday afternoon.
The problem was that traffic on I-10 is congested at that hour, and my husband is a very impatient man. So he came up with an idea: We would drive to Houston when there was no traffic, and stay in a hotel about 15 minutes from his mom's house. In his mind, that would be the perfect opportunity for us to enjoy each other away from home before we picked up our son.
This sounded like a great idea to me, so I started probing him for details, but he wasn't having it. All he would tell me was that he found a great deal on a hotel room online, and that we were going to have a good time, and I couldn't ask him anymore questions. He was the boss of those plans, and he had everything covered.
So I went with his plan, and I even promised him that I wouldn't read the Yelp! reviews before we arrived at our destination.
Wrong. Move.
The minute we got to the hotel room, and before we could put our bags down, we started boxing roaches.
After our sparring matches, my husband, who was utterly embarrassed, called the front desk to ask for a different room. 20 minutes later, instead of coming back with a new room key, he came back with a can of roach spray. The front office had given him a really crappy excuse for why they wanted to keep our money, and not let us change rooms.
But my husband was intent on making the night memorable. He kept saying, "Baby, I promised you a relaxing time, and damn it we're going to have one!" I felt so awful for him, that I let him lead the way again.
Wrong move.
Because we don't have a roach problem at our own home, he didn't know that once he sprayed the room with bug spray, that it would make the roaches come out more. For the next several hours, we boxed with several dozen roaches like we were in a hood fight.
My boo and I went so hard fighting roaches that we slept a total of four hours that night. When we weren't fighting roaches, we were yelling expletives at them.
Even worse was the fact that my husband thought he saw some people selling drugs several doors down from our room. When he couldn't take it anymore, we hopped in our car, and drove as fast as we could away from our "trap house hotel." As soon as we got on the road, he started apologizing to me over and over.
But despite everything that happened, I had a blast and I let him know it as soon as he started apologizing. Not only did I lose a little weight boxing our uninvited guests, but he gave me one memory that I would never forget. Sure we could have stayed in a luxury hotel, but it didn't happen that way. He booked us a hotel that was really a trap house, and we ended up creating a memory we never will forget.
I also realize that I'm a really lucky woman to have a man who I consider my best friend. I know women who are married who would kill to have their husbands put in a little more work and do things that are thoughtful. I didn't see anything he did as failure. If anything, it showed him that he truly had a ride-or-die chick, because not many women would have stayed in the hotel room to throw shoes and shade at roaches, no matter how much she loved him.
But let's be clear - I would never stay at that hotel ever again, and I'll also never allow him to book another hotel room without checking Yelp! first.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“The number one concern we routinely hear is acne coupled with postinflammatory hyperpigmentation, followed closely by hair loss,” Franklin said.
Franklin, along with her medical advisors, Dr. Chesahna Kindred, MD, MBA FAAD, and Dr. Keira Barr, MD, works to address challenges many women of color face “while centering the experience of Black women.” Below, the K’ept Health team gives us a step-by-step process of achieving glass skin.
PixelCatchers/ Getty Images
Hydration
According to the K’ept Health team, one of the key things that they tell any client they begin working with is hydrate. “When our team of practitioners works with a client, we first stress the importance of prioritizing healthy skin to achieve glass skin. To achieve glass skin, your skin must have proper hydration and moisture.”
Simplicity
Next, they highlight the importance of finding products that work for your skin type and tone, using sun protection, and using no more than one active product in the morning and one active product at night. “People often overwhelm themselves by using too many products at the same time, resulting in unexpected and unwanted skin reactions,” they explained. “Keep your routine simple and focus on ingredients that promote healthy skin and the glass skin look. The most popular skincare ingredients for achieving glass skin are azelaic acid, alpha hydroxy acid (AHA), beta hydroxy acid (BHA), niacinamide, retinoids, squalene, and vitamin A.”
Customization
Lastly, the K’ept Health team recommends seeing a licensed esthetician who can help customize a routine that is best for your skin, health, and lifestyle. “It can take several weeks or months to see a noticeable change in your skin, especially for those who have acne-prone skin, hyperpigmentation, and oily skin,” they explained. “In these cases, your skin may need professional treatments in addition to an at-home skincare regimen. Achieving glass skin requires regimented discipline, but can be achieved with the right regimen and professional guidance."
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Feature image by Delmaine Donson/ Getty Images
