This Awful Hotel Room Experience Is How I Learned That Marriage Is About Making Memories
My husband is my best friend in the whole wide world.
What I love about our relationship is that when he can, he tries really hard to impress me. But he's also missed the “positive impression" mark several times since we've been hitched. Especially that one time he booked us a couples getaway at a "hotel" in Houston. Our stay ended with us fighting roaches off of us like we were part of the extended version of the movie 300, that included a not-so-ripped black couple.
The roaches looked exactly like this army.
It was the worst hotel that I've ever visited. Like ever. In life. But it was also the best time I've ever had with him, and it taught me that marriage is about making lasting memories. It also taught me to never allow your partner to book a hotel room without checking the Yelp! reviews first.
It all happened last summer when my husband and I started making plans to pick up our son from his granny's house outside of Houston. My son had spent six weeks of his summer vacation with his grandmother, and he was having the time of his life. To allow him time to eat breakfast, and say goodbye to his cousins, we made plans to pick him up on a Saturday afternoon.
The problem was that traffic on I-10 is congested at that hour, and my husband is a very impatient man. So he came up with an idea: We would drive to Houston when there was no traffic, and stay in a hotel about 15 minutes from his mom's house. In his mind, that would be the perfect opportunity for us to enjoy each other away from home before we picked up our son.
This sounded like a great idea to me, so I started probing him for details, but he wasn't having it. All he would tell me was that he found a great deal on a hotel room online, and that we were going to have a good time, and I couldn't ask him anymore questions. He was the boss of those plans, and he had everything covered.
So I went with his plan, and I even promised him that I wouldn't read the Yelp! reviews before we arrived at our destination.
Wrong. Move.
The minute we got to the hotel room, and before we could put our bags down, we started boxing roaches.
After our sparring matches, my husband, who was utterly embarrassed, called the front desk to ask for a different room. 20 minutes later, instead of coming back with a new room key, he came back with a can of roach spray. The front office had given him a really crappy excuse for why they wanted to keep our money, and not let us change rooms.
But my husband was intent on making the night memorable. He kept saying, "Baby, I promised you a relaxing time, and damn it we're going to have one!" I felt so awful for him, that I let him lead the way again.
Wrong move.
Because we don't have a roach problem at our own home, he didn't know that once he sprayed the room with bug spray, that it would make the roaches come out more. For the next several hours, we boxed with several dozen roaches like we were in a hood fight.
My boo and I went so hard fighting roaches that we slept a total of four hours that night. When we weren't fighting roaches, we were yelling expletives at them.
Even worse was the fact that my husband thought he saw some people selling drugs several doors down from our room. When he couldn't take it anymore, we hopped in our car, and drove as fast as we could away from our "trap house hotel." As soon as we got on the road, he started apologizing to me over and over.
But despite everything that happened, I had a blast and I let him know it as soon as he started apologizing. Not only did I lose a little weight boxing our uninvited guests, but he gave me one memory that I would never forget. Sure we could have stayed in a luxury hotel, but it didn't happen that way. He booked us a hotel that was really a trap house, and we ended up creating a memory we never will forget.
I also realize that I'm a really lucky woman to have a man who I consider my best friend. I know women who are married who would kill to have their husbands put in a little more work and do things that are thoughtful. I didn't see anything he did as failure. If anything, it showed him that he truly had a ride-or-die chick, because not many women would have stayed in the hotel room to throw shoes and shade at roaches, no matter how much she loved him.
But let's be clear - I would never stay at that hotel ever again, and I'll also never allow him to book another hotel room without checking Yelp! first.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Signature Spring Scents That Are Great For Your Health & Well-Being
Something that I definitely got from my father is a nonstop curiosity for random information. Yeah, it’s pretty common for me to be in the middle of doing something and, out of absolutely nowhere, a thought will pop up in my head. One like, Why is the sense of smell so important anyway?
According to science, smell affects appetite, plays a role in determining how things taste to us, sends warning signals about potential danger (like if you happen to smell smoke before seeing it), influences our libido, helps to stabilize our emotions (wild, right?) and, as far as aromatherapy goes, various scents can help to improve your overall health and well-being (hence the motivation for today’s title).
That said, since we’re well into the spring season now, I wanted to take a moment to share with you some spring-like scents (10 to be exact) that not only complement this time of year amazingly well, they can also help you to feel better, on a few different levels too.
My two cents: find a high-quality essential oil and either wear one or blend a couple of ‘em. That way, you can get the long-lasting effects as the temperature (and humidity) begin to increase. You’ll smell divine and be helping out your system at the same time.
1. Mandarin
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A scent that is very “springy” is anything that resembles citrus fruit — and mandarin certainly qualifies. As far as benefits go, not only can it help to put you in a better mood while reviving you both physically and emotionally, but mandarin is also great at detoxing your system, increasing your blood circulation, and serving as a sedative if you’re feeling anxious or, as of late, you’ve been having a difficult time falling asleep. And since it also helps to reduce stress levels, if you like how oranges smell anyway, look at all that it can do for you if you decide to actually wear the scent.
2. Peonies
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Speaking of citrus, a flower that’s in full bloom during the spring is the peony. If you’ve ever smelled one before, it has a bit of a sweet and citrusy fragrance to it. In herb form, white peonies are full of phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) which can be beneficial if you are going through menopause and you need a bit of an all-natural estrogen boost. The root has also been helpful when it comes to treating anxiety and depression. As an essential oil, it’s loaded with antioxidants that are great for your skin. And, since they are also on the citrusy side, the scent of peonies can help to put you into a relaxed state, similar to how mandarin can/will.
3. Bergamot
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Sweet. Floral. Lime-like. Those are some of the best ways to describe what bergamot smells like. As far as benefits go, many people like bergamot because its anti-inflammatory properties help to speed up the healing of pimples. Plus, hair-wise, it soothes an irritated scalp, softens hair, and can even potentially help your hair grow longer. There are also studies to support that bergamot helps to decrease pain levels, lower your blood pressure, heal psoriasis, and even reduce abdominal fat.
However, from what I’ve read, there is a heads-up to keep in mind here: If you plan on using bergamot essential oil before spending a considerable amount of time outdoors, wait 12 hours before doing so. Apparently, it’s not the most user-friendly when it comes to avoiding sunburn. Interesting.
4. Magnolia
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If you want a scent that’s kind of like a rose-meets-a lemon-meets-some musk, magnolia is exactly what you are looking for. In extract form, it helps to treat gingivitis (just for the record). Outside of that, it’s effective as it relates to bringing relief to menstrual cramps, soothing coughs, helping with respiratory issues (hey, it is peak allergy season, after all), and lowering cortisol levels in your system. Another thing that’s worth taking note of when it comes to magnolia is that since it can also help to improve your quality of sleep, many women who are going through menopause are big fans of it too.
5. Peppermint
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As far as the smell of peppermint goes, it’s kind of hard to describe. It’s sharp. It’s invigorating. It leaves a cool sensation whenever you get a close whiff of it. Anyway, believe it or not, even though peppermint candy is popular during the holiday season, growth-wise, it doesn’t do well in the cold. Spring and summer are more of its thing. That said, peppermint is good for you if you’re looking for some migraine or headache relief, you’re trying to unclog your sinuses, you need an energy boost throughout the day or you’re looking to treat a bout of seasonal allergies (check out “Honey, Probiotics & Other Natural Remedies For Seasonal Allergies”). Since peppermint can also help with making menstrual cramps less of a pain, of course, it had to go on the list.
6. Lily of the Valley
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I’m not sure if it’s because of the lemon nuances, the sweetness of it all, or the fact that it’s got a bit of a spicy kick to it but, if there’s one scent that some find to be “signature spring,” Lily of the Valley would be the one. What I personally find to be pretty wild is the fact that, with all of the health benefits that come from using it, it’s not talked about more often. Benefits like what? Well, for starters, it helps to even skin tone and reduce the appearance of scars.
Beyond that, it helps to lessen chest pains, keeps your digestive system running smoothly, decreases symptoms that are directly associated with depression, and can help to treat UTIs (urinary tract infections) too. You know, the woman in the Song of Solomon once said, “I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.” (Song of Solomon 2:1) If one flower (and its scent) can do all of this, she definitely said a mouthful.
7. Tulips
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Personally, my favorite flower is a tulip. Not really sure why; I just appreciate how tulips look. Now as far as scents go, it’s kind of like a mixture of honey, fresh grass, and a hint of citrus. According to the Herb Society of America, tulips can help to moisturize your skin, can bring relief to insect bites and they contain diuretic and antiseptic properties that can help to speed up the healing process of a cold.
Oh, and if you happen to be someone who prefers to go as natural as possible when it comes to makeup, it’s not uncommon to turn red tulips (or any flower of your choice, really) into a blush by crushing the petals. You can learn more about how to do that here.
8. Spearmint
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Taste-wise, if I had to choose between peppermint and spearmint, I’d probably go with spearmint; it tastes sweeter. Scent-wise, it’s actually a lot like peppermint although not quite as strong. When it comes to your health, if you’re looking for something that is full of antioxidants that is able to boost your memory, improve digestion issues, lower your blood sugar levels, fight bacterial infections, and even slow down the growth of facial hair (in women), spearmint can do that for you. Since some reports say that it can help to balance out your hormones as well as help to make morning sickness more bearable, if anything should be considered to be a “women’s health scent,” spearmint would be it.
9. Lilacs
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Lilacs are pretty cool. On the symbolism tip, white ones represent purity, purple ones represent spirituality and the ones that come with blue trim are all about tranquility. Their smell is pretty soft and feminine — somewhat like the Lily of the Valley yet a lot more subtle; some say that they are able to pick up almonds and roses from it as well. Your skin will like lilacs due to their antibacterial and antifungal properties. This flower is also helpful thanks to its ability to protect your skin from damaging UV rays and help your system to heal from fungal infections.
10. Lavender
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If there is a scent on the list that you probably saw coming, it’s lavender. Its smell is light and fresh (kind of like new linens) with a bit of sweetness and herbal undertones to it. A part of the reason why I decided to put this one at the end is because, on some levels, it’s like saving the best for last due to all of the things that it can do for you:
- Lower stress levels
- Relieve asthma-related symptoms
- Improve sleep
- Promote hair growth
- Help to heal fungus infections
- Make hot flashes (in menopausal women) easier to bear
- Speed up the healing process of breakouts
- Boost your moods
- Reduce menstrual discomfort
- Naturally treat headaches
And that truly is just for starters! No…really.
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You know, fairly recently, Harper's BAZAAR published, “The 17 Best Spring Perfumes to Keep in Rotation” and listen, if perfume is your thing, it’s got some good ones on here. Personally, I will always be about essential oils because of the aromatherapy and other benefits that they provide.
So, as you’re figuring out what you want your own signature spring scent to be this year, at least consider trying one of these 10. You’ll smell delightful and be doing wonderful things for your health too. Happy Spring, y’all!
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