Does minimizing your "manhood" maximize your parenthood?
Peter Gunz's daughter, Whitney, recently had a chat with father Gunz on his constant baby making and asked him to cut it out- literally.
We all know how men feel about their *cough* ego. On a recent episode of Love and Hip Hop: New York, rapper Peter Gunz met with his eldest daughter for drinks and well...let's just say the conversation took a rather invasive turn.
According to Whitney, she feels that father Panky means well, but may not realize that it is physically and emotionally impossible to be there for all 10 of his kids (from six different women)- resulting in no one having the "Gunz," for much too long, since he is constantly roaming.
The conversation turned into an emotional one that literally left Peter sick to his stomach. Whitney asked her dad:
"You have such a good heart and I know you don't mean [to hurt people]. Maybe you have a problem where you can't be with one person. You're a really lovable guy, even I can't stay mad at you. But you have to make a decision though. You can't keep this going on, it's not fair. Have you considered a vasectomy?"
The look on Peter's face literally said it all:
Whitney went on to tell Peter that if he can't make the decision for himself, to consider making it for his loved ones:
"I feel like if you can't make a decision for you, for Tara or for Amina, you should make a different for your kids. And any woman should respect that."
Peter revealed later in the confessional that although his daughter's request for him to get a vasectomy made him feel ashamed and tearful, that Whitney may have had a point:
"Hearing my daughter say 'vasectomy' made me want to throw up. I gotta be honest with you, it made me feel like less of a man. But maybe she's right."
Yikes! This just brought a whole new meaning to cock-block.
For those who don't know, a "vasectomy" is the surgical cutting and sealing of part of each vas deferens (the tubes that carry a man's sperm from his testicles to the seminal vesicles). It's usually used as a means of sterilization.
Even Houston rapper Slim Thug spoke on the issue after willingly undergoing a vasectomy himself. Who could forget back in 2012 when a then 31-year-old Slim tweeted out, hashtags and all, "#NoNewKids #NoMoreBabyMamas" after his surgery, proudly boasting about having "ice packs on the balls" and all post-op. At the time, Slim was three kids deep with three different women, and expressed how he felt he was doing the biggest injustice to the kids by spreading his seeds all over.
"I don’t think it’s right, I don’t think it’s good to have a baby and not be with the father. That’s part of the biggest problem. My mother, she took care of me, but she was working seven days-a-week, 12 hours-a-day. That was a struggle, I seen how much she struggled and it was so hard coming up. I don’t even know who my daddy is. I don’t like that. I think a kid deserves both his parents. That’s why I think if you ain’t gonna be with somebody, you don’t need to have a kid with him. Even though I got three baby mamas…. it’s working out. But it ain’t right."
Slim also applied the same logic for such aggressive forms of birth control by expressing his support of abortions, if done "timely" enough:
“I think abortion is necessary on some occasions. People be against it, but people don’t deal with the real life situations some people deal with. I ain’t saying wait three or four months. If it’s immediate, it’s like birth control to me.”
Strong opinion, but he is speaking his truth. There may be some controversy behind Slim's logic, but no one can deny that his intentions are good, regardless if his logic may be faulty. It's similar to the same argument Peter, 47, gave wife Amina when he pleaded and convinced her to get an abortion for the sake of having too many kids already. Although she went through with it, she got pregnant again months afterwards.
(L) Tara Wallace Pregnancy Pic from Feb 2016 (R) Amina Pregnancy Pic from February 2016
It appears that one of the biggest flaws with Peter "loving them all," (even in his most recent situation with Amina and Tara and the five kids between them, Peter admits says he is guilty of "currently being in love with two women,") is that there aren't enough hours or time in the day to truly give anyone, from your kids to the women you are with. Even the richest dad can't place themselves in two-three-SIX places at once. And we're not even counting his children's children who would probably like to see their grandfather on occasion. Even worse is that aside from the kids' being left short, the women involved are also very hurt by Peter's actions, which we're sure doesn't make it easier to cope with co-parenting.
Just earlier this month when Peter stopped by The Breakfast Club, he was asked how the lesser-known mother of his children feel about his incessant need to procreate with different women, to which Gunz replied that they are less than proud to have him as a parent:
"Cthagod: Are your other baby mamas embarrassed you?Peter: Absolutely! I mean, they love me but, here is the thing, I can't go thru the mall, the movies or anything without people asking me for a picture. But on the internet, I'm the most hated person in the world. And my baby mothers, they look at what people are saying and they feed off that.The mother of my kids, if I said who they were or what they did, they'd kill me."
Ouch! Peter did, however, admit that he all of his children's mothers are well-to-do enough to provide for their child(ren) and not place him on child support, especially considering that he was barely getting by before the show.
Overall, watching Whitney plead with Peter to be "less of a man" in order to be more of a dad was tough. I recall once speaking to a friend who said he loves kid and prays to one day have six- but all from his wife. He admitted that he feels all children are a blessing but it would be a disservice to them to have them in different homes. At the end of day, even a stable household with a few kids is hard to maintain, hence "middle child syndrome," so imagine several homes with 10!
How did you feel about Whitney's conversation with her dad last night? Do you agree that having so many women and families can ruin the chances of even the nicest man being a good dad due to time and availability?
Watch the moment below:
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Talking to Allure, the entrepreneur shed light on her beauty and skincare routine. While she enjoys glam, she knows that beauty comes from within and makes sure to instill that in her 8-year-old daughter Zhuri. “Whether you are done up to the gods or at home with a pimple patch and bonnet on, you're beautiful and it's enough,” she said. “You don't have to do any more than that if you don't choose to.”
Below are four essentials that make up Savannah's beauty space.
Vanity
@allure/ Instagram
The video starts off with Savannah showing us her vanity, and everything is organized and labeled. “I love makeup,” she said. “All of my things have been organized for me, which makes it easy to find the things that I need because it’s a lot in there.”
Affirmation Corner
@allure/ Instagram
As she continued showing off her vanity, she also gave us a glimpse at the affirmations she has on star sticky notes posted on the mirror. Some of the affirmations say, “I am loved,” “I am capable,” and “I am strong.”
Soaking In The Bathtub
@allure/ Instagram
One of her favorite ways to relax is by taking baths. “I take probably five or six baths a week,” she confessed. “It’s the best thing in the world. I go through bags and bags and bags of Epsom salt." She continued, “Usually, my kids and my husband know that if they can’t find me, this is where I am.”
Skincare and Haircare Drawers
@allure/ Instagram
In her bathroom, Savannah has two drawers that she calls her “go-tos.” They are her skincare and haircare drawers. The skincare drawer has items like makeup pads, gua sha, and wrist towels ( for when water drips down your arms when you're washing your face), and her haircare drawer includes scrunchies, clips, wig pins, and more. “I am obsessed with skincare. I’m a skincare junkie,” she revealed. “I just think it’s one of the parts of my self-care routine that is a non-negotiable.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images
