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8 Ways To Spice Up Small Talk At Work
Small talk is a necessary evil. Our relationships with co-workers are often one dimensional and lack the depth to have any meaningful conversation. If you're like me, you probably find small talk to be boring, awkward, and, quite frankly, soul-sucking but it doesn't have to be that way.
If you spend at least 8 hours with someone Monday through Friday, why not surpass surface level chit chat? No doubt this will only strengthen your work relationships and perhaps enhance productivity - especially if your job is team-oriented.
Here are eight ways to make work chats less routine and more riveting.
Find Other Ways to Say "How are you?"
As the natural follow-up to "Hello," this question is so ingrained into our subconscious that we don't even think about it. The problem with "How are you?" is that it's generic and thus begets a generic, non-committal answer. Try asking questions that encourage further conversation.
How was your weekend? What do you have going on today? How's work treating you lately?
These are all good starts but definitely get creative!
Actually Say How You're Doing
In my very un-scientific research, the three most overused answers to "How are you?" are "good" and "tired".
Instead of saying "good" and keeping it moving, how about actually saying how you're feeling? I know, what a concept. Good is so neutral it almost lacks definition. Without being a Debbie Downer, just say what's really happening in your world.
"I'm so tired" is another popular response. Chile, who isn't?? Instead of just stating your lack of sleep, tell them what kept you up last night. Did you go to a great concert? Stayed up until the end of the Grammys? "Tired" is tired. Think of something more lively.
Avoid Talking About the Weather
I know we're all searching for commonalities, but there's gotta be something more interesting than the fact that we stand under the same sky. The only person I want weather updates from is Al Roker.
For whatever reason, the weather is a hot topic. The main problem with this is that, more often than not, it just invites negativity.
"This rain is so nasty!" "Can you believe how cold/hot it is outside?!"
If someone does bring up the weather, try to provide a sunnier response. Add something positive to where you can anticipate a follow-up answer. For example:
"Yeah, this rain is pretty gross but it's perfect Netflix weather! Can't wait to keep binging Black Mirror. Have you seen it?"
Flattery Follows
Everyone loves to be flattered, especially women. Out of habit, we tend to compliment each other's hair or clothes just as a conversation filler. This is fine, but let's dive deeper than outside appearances.
You're at work, so compliment your coworker on their work. Let them know they killed their last project. Tell them how much you enjoyed their latest presentation. While all women appreciate being viewed as beautiful, we need to work on letting other women know they're also smart and hardworking.
If her outfit is poppin', cool. But let her know her work skills are poppin', too.
Ask for Advice
Perhaps you're stuck on an assignment or maybe you want feedback on something you're not confident about yet. Why not ask your colleague for their advice? Whether it's helpful or not, your co-worker will appreciate that you value their input. Plus it gives you a chance to share what you've been working on, too!
What if this person is in a different department/position and you're not entirely sure what they do on a daily basis? This is a great time to ask! Without grilling them, informally inquire about their role, career trajectory, or what a typical day looks like for them. The fact that you care enough to know more about their contribution to the company says a lot and will instantly help build rapport.
No Diet Talk
Ladies, there are more compelling conversations than our never-ending quest to stay fit. Men don't talk ad nauseam about their eating habits, so why do we? I happen to sit near the kitchen in my office and the number of apologetic comments I've heard on calorie counting and avoiding the cookie jar is starting to drive me crazy.
If you must make food a topic, talk about that new restaurant you've been meaning to try. Ask for recommendations for your next date night with bae. Mention that amazing recipe you saw on Pinterest. But please don't bring up your Whole 30 diet for the umpteempth time. Please.
Pop Up With Pop Culture
Pop culture is a little superficial but it's something that we all more or less have fun discussing. It's also a safer alternative than politics and current events, a potentially dicey conversation depending on viewpoints. Even if you debate Kendrick vs. Kanye, it's harmless, fun, and less likely to ruffle any feathers.
Your pop culture interests also lets your personality shine. Just by learning your taste in music, movies, and literature, people will have a better idea of who you are as a person.
Make It Personal
Well, not TOO personal. There are boundaries after all. But the only way to graduate to a more authentic relationship is to share something a little personal about yourself. If it comes within the natural flow of conversation, divulge your past traveling adventures, mention your hidden talent, or tell that really bad date story everyone loves. But the more you share, the more likely they will share back.
If you follow these 8 steps consistently, it will no longer feel like small talk with an acquaintance but just catching up with a good work friend.
Featured image by Getty Images
- An Introvert's Guide To Small Talk: Eight Painless Tips ›
- 8 Ways to Make Meaningful Small Talk | Goop ›
- How to Make Small Talk at Work With Anyone - The Muse ›
- The 10 Big Rules of Small Talk - Real Simple ›
- 48 Questions That'll Make Small Talk Easier - The Muse ›
- 7 Ways to Make Small Talk Work for You | Psychology Today ›
- The Ultimate Guide to Small Talk: Conversation Starters, Powerful ... ›
- How to make small talk at work - Workopolis ›
- The Surprising Cognitive Benefits Of Small Talk At Work ›
Anndi Jinelle is a part-time creative and full-time corporate cog in the machine living in Brooklyn, NY. This 20-something spends most of her days going from coffee to wine, moving closer to her truth, and watching way more TV than is humanly possible. Catch her on Twitter @seranndipity.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."