8 Ways To Spice Up Small Talk At Work
Small talk is a necessary evil. Our relationships with co-workers are often one dimensional and lack the depth to have any meaningful conversation. If you're like me, you probably find small talk to be boring, awkward, and, quite frankly, soul-sucking but it doesn't have to be that way.
If you spend at least 8 hours with someone Monday through Friday, why not surpass surface level chit chat? No doubt this will only strengthen your work relationships and perhaps enhance productivity - especially if your job is team-oriented.
Here are eight ways to make work chats less routine and more riveting.
Find Other Ways to Say "How are you?"
As the natural follow-up to "Hello," this question is so ingrained into our subconscious that we don't even think about it. The problem with "How are you?" is that it's generic and thus begets a generic, non-committal answer. Try asking questions that encourage further conversation.
How was your weekend? What do you have going on today? How's work treating you lately?
These are all good starts but definitely get creative!
Actually Say How You're Doing
In my very un-scientific research, the three most overused answers to "How are you?" are "good" and "tired".
Instead of saying "good" and keeping it moving, how about actually saying how you're feeling? I know, what a concept. Good is so neutral it almost lacks definition. Without being a Debbie Downer, just say what's really happening in your world.
"I'm so tired" is another popular response. Chile, who isn't?? Instead of just stating your lack of sleep, tell them what kept you up last night. Did you go to a great concert? Stayed up until the end of the Grammys? "Tired" is tired. Think of something more lively.
Avoid Talking About the Weather
I know we're all searching for commonalities, but there's gotta be something more interesting than the fact that we stand under the same sky. The only person I want weather updates from is Al Roker.
For whatever reason, the weather is a hot topic. The main problem with this is that, more often than not, it just invites negativity.
"This rain is so nasty!" "Can you believe how cold/hot it is outside?!"
If someone does bring up the weather, try to provide a sunnier response. Add something positive to where you can anticipate a follow-up answer. For example:
"Yeah, this rain is pretty gross but it's perfect Netflix weather! Can't wait to keep binging Black Mirror. Have you seen it?"
Flattery Follows
Everyone loves to be flattered, especially women. Out of habit, we tend to compliment each other's hair or clothes just as a conversation filler. This is fine, but let's dive deeper than outside appearances.
You're at work, so compliment your coworker on their work. Let them know they killed their last project. Tell them how much you enjoyed their latest presentation. While all women appreciate being viewed as beautiful, we need to work on letting other women know they're also smart and hardworking.
If her outfit is poppin', cool. But let her know her work skills are poppin', too.
Ask for Advice
Perhaps you're stuck on an assignment or maybe you want feedback on something you're not confident about yet. Why not ask your colleague for their advice? Whether it's helpful or not, your co-worker will appreciate that you value their input. Plus it gives you a chance to share what you've been working on, too!
What if this person is in a different department/position and you're not entirely sure what they do on a daily basis? This is a great time to ask! Without grilling them, informally inquire about their role, career trajectory, or what a typical day looks like for them. The fact that you care enough to know more about their contribution to the company says a lot and will instantly help build rapport.
No Diet Talk
Ladies, there are more compelling conversations than our never-ending quest to stay fit. Men don't talk ad nauseam about their eating habits, so why do we? I happen to sit near the kitchen in my office and the number of apologetic comments I've heard on calorie counting and avoiding the cookie jar is starting to drive me crazy.
If you must make food a topic, talk about that new restaurant you've been meaning to try. Ask for recommendations for your next date night with bae. Mention that amazing recipe you saw on Pinterest. But please don't bring up your Whole 30 diet for the umpteempth time. Please.
Pop Up With Pop Culture
Pop culture is a little superficial but it's something that we all more or less have fun discussing. It's also a safer alternative than politics and current events, a potentially dicey conversation depending on viewpoints. Even if you debate Kendrick vs. Kanye, it's harmless, fun, and less likely to ruffle any feathers.
Your pop culture interests also lets your personality shine. Just by learning your taste in music, movies, and literature, people will have a better idea of who you are as a person.
Make It Personal
Well, not TOO personal. There are boundaries after all. But the only way to graduate to a more authentic relationship is to share something a little personal about yourself. If it comes within the natural flow of conversation, divulge your past traveling adventures, mention your hidden talent, or tell that really bad date story everyone loves. But the more you share, the more likely they will share back.
If you follow these 8 steps consistently, it will no longer feel like small talk with an acquaintance but just catching up with a good work friend.
Featured image by Getty Images
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- The 10 Big Rules of Small Talk - Real Simple ›
- 48 Questions That'll Make Small Talk Easier - The Muse ›
- 7 Ways to Make Small Talk Work for You | Psychology Today ›
- The Ultimate Guide to Small Talk: Conversation Starters, Powerful ... ›
- How to make small talk at work - Workopolis ›
- The Surprising Cognitive Benefits Of Small Talk At Work ›
Anndi Jinelle is a part-time creative and full-time corporate cog in the machine living in Brooklyn, NY. This 20-something spends most of her days going from coffee to wine, moving closer to her truth, and watching way more TV than is humanly possible. Catch her on Twitter @seranndipity.
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Regina King Reflects On Grief and Loss After Her Son’s Death: ‘The Sadness Will Never Go Away.’
The pain of losing a child is an experience that no parent wants to go through — and actress Regina King is now ready to speak about her experience with grief two years after her son’s passing.
In her first TV interview appearance since her son, Ian Alexander Jr., died by suicide in January 2022, King sat down with Good Morning America, to reflect on the tragic loss.
“I’m a different person, you know, now than I was January 19,” King shared. “Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go.”
“I know that it’s important for me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us,” she added.
The Shirley star also added that it's vital to discuss the common misconception surrounding depression, noting that battles with mental health can manifest in diverse ways. “When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King told Robin Roberts.
“To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand… He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
Jeff Kravitz / Contributor/Getty Images
The Academy Award winner openly revealed that she was initially “so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,' " she said.
With the memory of her son near to her, King said through tears, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom and I can say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Anderson, 26, was a musician, DJ, and King’s only child. In 2019, Ian escorted his mother on the red carpet of the Golden Globes where she took home the award for "Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture."
He toldE! News at the time, "She's just a super mom. She doesn't really let bad work days or anything come back and ruin the time that we have. It's really awesome to have a mother who I can enjoy spending time with."
Understanding that grief is shared by many others, King emphasizes the unique weight of her role as Ian's mother and acknowledges that the sadness will always be a part of her.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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