It's clear that writers of the hit Hulu original series The Handmaid's Tale were on to something because it's beginning to look a lot like Gilead up in here.
Roe v. Wade guarantees women the constitutional right to privacy. The 1973 landmark decision ruled that the government could not prohibit a woman's fundamental right to have access to abortions during their first trimester, but according to recent headlines, a whole bunch of white men on the hill just said f*ck all that.
Two nights ago, Alabama's senate passed a bill that would ban all abortions in the state, including pregnancies that are a product of incest and rape. The law would also sentence doctors to life in prison for performing these procedures, putting Alabama in the lead for having the strictest abortion law in the nation. Also, here's a fun fact: Alabama's governor is a woman. Let that sink in for a minute.
The bill comes not long after Georgia's governor signed legislation to ban abortions after six weeks, and given the fact that most women don't even know that they're pregnant until five to six weeks into their first trimester, many women will lose the choice to terminate their pregnancy altogether. If the law goes into effect, women who have abortions will potentially be charged with murder and even investigated for miscarriages.
Legislators in South and Midwest are following Georgia and Alabama's lead, and states like Kentucky, Ohio, and Mississippi passed similar bills earlier this week. The passing of these bills on a national level could potentially cause a widespread shutdown of abortion clinics and even limit access to over the counter abortion pills.
Even if you're a woman who has never even thought about terminating a pregnancy, this law affects you too, sis. When the government starts infringing on any of our constitutional rights as women, we have a duty to take a step back and say 'wait a minute now'... first it's restricting abortions, but what's next?
Since these controversial political measures have hit the media, The Handmaid's Tale has been trending and if you haven't seen the show, I'll give you some context.
The series shows a dystopian future of an America where birth rates have plummeted and infertility is at an all-time high. The U.S. government is overthrown by a group of misogynistic assholes and the country, now called Gilead, converts into a patriarchal regime that forces the few fertile women that remain into sexual servitude in attempt to repopulate the earth.
Women are divided by class, but are treated like property nonetheless; men make their decisions and they are not allowed to own property, have money, or read. Is anybody else having deja vu, or nah?
These laws cannot be enforced unless Roe v. Wade is overturned by the Supreme Court, so it's important to know that the fight is not over. The future for this country may look like the dystopian nightmare we never dreamed of, but there are some things you can do to help. Here's what you can do to join the fight against the patriarchy's passionate ploy to police the puss:
Donate
Money talks and this is especially true when it comes to helping women in these states who need resources and access to safe abortion procedures. After taking into account the cost of the procedure, transportation, and aftercare, those funds can add up and make abortions less accessible to those with low income. Whether it's giving to an abortion fund like The Yellowhammer Fund, or donating to organizations like The P.O.W.E.R. House which is a Montgomery-based non-profit that offers shelter, food, and support to women who've traveled to get abortions, a little bit goes a long way.
Volunteer
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If you're short on cash, never fear. You can always donate your time to help the cause in your own backyard. Most cities have abortion funds or clinics where you can volunteer, and you can also sign up to be an escort that helps women who may need emotional support before, during, or after their procedure.
Click here for a list of abortion funds across the country.
Get Social
One thing that we will always make time for is social media, and that's OK. We live in a digital world, hell, you probably found this article on social media. Use your platform to share someone's story, GoFundMe page, or even just information to make the public more aware of what's going on. When posting, keep in mind that no matter how we all feel about abortion, this fight is ultimately about women having the right to make choices about our bodies. Even if you disagree with someone, try your hardest to empathize and connect on whatever level you can. This is an emotional topic and we all have a right to our feelings.
Host A Fundraiser
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Even if you don't have any disposable cash to donate, I bet you know someone who does. Help the cause by starting your own fundraiser. Whether it be an event or a crowdsourcing campaign, the money you help raise can later be donated to an individual or an abortion clinic that's in need.
To the women in these states, you are not alone. They may have won the battle, but it's imperative that we keep fighting in our own ways to win the war.
Somebody call Offred and let's get this thing crackin.
Featured image courtesy of Hulu.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
