Sherri Shepherd Admits To Settling In Her Marriage: "I Was In My 40s And Scared"
I'm 26. And while that may seem young to you, watching my friends and family get married and have kids while I'm romantically stagnant with no suitable prospects makes a quarter of a century feel like a lifetime.
As my ovaries and my tolerance depreciate by the minute, it leaves me to wonder if I've been too picky in my dating life, or if I swiped left on Mr. Right a long time ago. Pressure bursts pipes, and sometimes the fear of my biological clock can trigger me to make some pretty irrational decisions. According to Sherri Shepherd, she knows the FOMO struggle and experienced it first-hand in her previous marriage.
After divorcing her first husband, Sherri was fighting for custody of her son when she introduced to a stranger, by mutual friend Niecy Nash, who would one day become her husband. Although her ex had a salacious reputation among her inner circle, you know what they say, love is blind, and their advice fell upon deaf ears. Sherri told D.L. Huguley:
"Everybody said that. Steve Harvey said it, Barbara Walters said it, Whoopi [Goldberg] wouldn't come to my wedding. Everybody tried to tell me. The only person who showed up was Kym Whitley because she got a free iPad and she was my bridesmaid. We gave away free iPads [laughs]."
It's a rule that you should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry, and you should never offer your love to a man when you don't love your damn self. In Sherri Shepherd's case, her fear of being alone led her to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
"I was in New York doing 'The View' and I was lonely. That's what it was. You can't do stuff out of fear and being lonely. All of the women of 'The View' were amazing but they had lives. Whoopi would go home and eat her brownies, she was gone for the night. Then, Elizabeth Hasselbeck had her family and Joy [Behar] had hers so I was out there by myself."
Later, that relationship led to fractures in relationships with even her closest friends, including Niecy. Although the two of them have mended their relationship since the divorce, Sherri says that she's wary of ever letting her friends play matchmaker again:
"We had a big blowout. We did. I said, 'Niecy, I will never go out with anybody you introduce me to.' We came to a meeting of the minds yesterday, we were together, she said, 'Would you just go out?' I said, 'Yeah, but I'm not going to get married to any of your recommendations.'"
Ultimately, Sherri was able to take responsibility for her own shortcomings in her former relationship and admitted that she should have never made a major life decision out of a fear of being alone. She explained:
"At the time I was in my 40s and scared. I was like, 'I'm getting older, who's going to want to be in a relationship?' It was a lot of stuff done out of fear. I was also raised to in the church to believe you can't have sex before you get married, so I was horny! The whole celibacy thing, this idea that it's better to get married than to burn. So I got married too because I was horny, and look, we never had sex."
"At the time I was in my 40s and scared. I was like, 'I'm getting older, who's going to want to be in a relationship?' It was a lot of stuff done out of fear."
Sherri is a reminder is to be careful what you pray for, and that you should never settle until you get it. Your standards aren't too high, you just have to be patient enough to meet a man who can rise to the occasion. Sherri learned the hard way that you should never let your fear of missing out cause you to miss out on what you deserve.
Featured image by Instagram/@sherrieshepherd.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy