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Sherri Shepherd Reminds Us Of The Real Problem With Interracial Dating
I'll never forget the day my then 13-year-old nephew told my family that he was dating a white girl, all hell broke loose.
The heavens fell and mountains moved as my mother and sister rolled their eyes into oblivion with disappointment. Now, to be fair, there were also rumors that the little girl's parents were witches, which was disturbing to say the least, but the real kicker was the fact that my nephew thought he could date interracially without catching any flack from the black women in my family.
Fast-forward to my junior year in college, when I brought home my boyfriend, who was very much white, and only caught sh*t about it from the men in my family. My mother and sister, who both had given my nephew hell for dating a white girl, said virtually nothing about my newest partner.
It's 2018, and although racial tensions have never been higher, I would like to think we've evolved far past the societal rules and concepts that existed when Emmett Till was alive. Black men and women alike are no longer beaten and persecuted for pursuing romantic interests outside of their race, and have the freedom to select a partner in whomever they choose.
Yet still, interracial dating is a vibrant subject of debate in our country. One that even celebrity TV host, Sherri Shepherd, has encountered in her own personal life. In a recent interview with The Breakfast Club, Sherri revealed that her preteen son was not interested in black girls. She told the hosts that she discovered this revelation after having a conversation with him about the girls at his school. She said:
"I am going through this thing, he likes these girls and … there's not that many little Black girls in his school … 'cause he came in and he said, 'Mommy, I like white girls' … The little Black girls get mean with him," she says of her 13-year-old son Jeffrey Charles Tarpley. "Like, sometimes they don't wanna speak. Sometimes they act crazy. And he's like, 'Why they act so crazy?' And I'm like, 'I don't know.' So I keep trying to tell the little girls to be nicer so he can come towards you. But the other girls see him and they go, 'Hey, Jeffery' and they wanna feel his hair."
She also said that her son mentioned that black girls "moved their neck" when they talked to him, implying a defect in their attitudes and way of expression.
When Sherri asked what to do about her personal conundrum, Charlamagne suggested that she surround him with more positive male figures while Angela Yee's solution involved presenting him with more representation of people that look like him. While both of their suggestions are valid, I'd like to propose a different remedy to Sherri's "problem."
Our societal views will remain tainted if we don't address misinformation and cut it down at the root. Sherri's "problem" is not in her son's wanting to date outside of his race, but in his innate negative perception of women of color.
Before we even have the chance to have our first menstrual cycles, we are labeled as angry, bitter, or as Sherri's son would say, "mean." There is a preconceived and false notion that black men date white women because of some defect that exists within women of color.
The truth is, love is love. And Sherri's son finding love in a young girl that is not black is not a problem to be resolved. The underlying mindset that black women can be fit into this infamous box of stereotypes is the real issue at hand.
Until we start addressing these truths and confronting falsely perceived ideologies about race, how can we really progress as a society?
When men make declarations that shun and ostracize black women, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves. For this reason, when a man tells you he only dates one race of women, just know to run in the other direction.
I've been with a few white men that claim to only date black women, leading me to perceive there's a box he wants me to fit in, and if I do not, he may become disinterested.
To some, this distinction is preference. To me, it's discriminatory and perpetuates a need for some serious self-reflection.
All in all, Sherri's son is a preteen and this mindset is one he's sure to grow out of. The comments to his mom can't be taken literally, but are proof that it's time to change the way we think about race and interracial dating as a people.
We no longer live in a time where black men can be killed for pursuing a woman outside of their race. This change in times also means that it's time to get rid of stereotypical and inaccurate racial stereotypes that plague us from childhood.
Featured image by s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images