

You kept your New Year’s promise to hit the gym.
Water bottle in hand, wearing your old sneakers with the worn-out color, the freebie T-shirt you got from your favorite radio station’s promo tour, and black $5 tights. Your confidence is high and the thought ‘I did it, I’m in the gym’ enters your mind as you walk out of the locker room onto the main floor that greets you with the scent of bleach and the feeling of determination.
As you make your way to the treadmill, you observe the floor. The men are all in their mirrored corners lifting weights, the Yogi’s are heading toward their next yoga class, and the mature adults are riding the seated recumbent bikes. As you get closer to the treadmills, you begin to second-guess your workout attire. Your confidence begins to waver step by step.
On the treadmill boulevard, there is nothing but a barrage of colors and patterns. From bright neons to sexy leopards, those who grace the treadmills look more like models on an urban catwalk rather than a gym. Already sporting a coke-bottle shape with full-figured hips, high butts, and miniature waists, one begins to wonder if they are there to work out or to style on you. If you don’t believe us, just take a look at all their Instagrams.
The world of fitness is far from the days of old gym sneakers. On any given day, you can scroll the explorer section of IG, and see a hoard of images of women at the gym in fashionable leggings, bra tops, booty shorts and even in some cases, posted up with some weights in a thong.
So we at xoNecole want to know if women feel pressured to look sexy at the gym.
We asked 9 women who regularly get their workout on if looking sexy was important to them and here are their responses:
“I don't feel pressured to ‘dress’ sexy. To me, 'sexy' is being confident in whatever you are wearing. Sexy is seeing the results of working hard. When it comes to working out, it's about comfortability over anything else. I am not a workout guru that goes to the gym religiously. I dance A LOT. So that is mostly my workout and in rehearsals, I wear Ivy Park because it is stylish and very comfortable.”
Saidah N., @Saidahnairobi, International Dancer for Beyonce's I Am... and Formation World Tours
“In the beginning of my transformation, I didn't want to feel sexy. I didn't want to look sexy and I didn't want to attract any attention at all because I was at the gym to work out and go hard, for me. I wanted to see if this time I was actually going to accomplish the goals that I have set for myself. It's already a mental battle, I just needed my physical to follow the mental when I said ‘GO’! Yet, I did notice the more fit I got, the more I wanted my outfits to match and I cared about what I was wearing. But it wasn't to look sexy, but to feel good. It wasn't for anybody else, it was for me. So, it depends upon your definition of ‘sexy’. Showing too much skin - that's not sexy, that's being revealing.”
Toshamakia A., @ToshaMakia, Radio Personality at 102 Jamz in Greensboro, NC
“Not only do I NOT feel pressured to look sexy at the gym, I don't feel pressured to do anything. Now that I am 40, I realize that I've wasted too much time caring about things that just ain't going to make a difference in anything, anyway. Bottom line is if I'm feeling myself and decide to get sexy and go to the gym, then I'll be sexy at the gym that day. But if I don't and I just throw on some old rags and get my workout on, then I'll be in the gym that day looking raggedy. To me, ‘sexy’ is more of an attitude than a look, and feeling confident about who you are regardless of whether others like or approve of it is the sexiest thing EVER!”
Samiyyah S., @experienceanasa, Business Owner
“Honestly, when I go to the gym I am a good in-between. Definitely not sexy, but definitely not a mess. I wear a slicked-back ponytail and a tank with workout pants. I feel as though if I get too sexy, I will be more worried about keeping up with my appearance than working out. It makes me feel good to get a good workout because I know my end goal. I usually go to the gym late because I find that it is less distracting.”
Raven R., @robinsonandco, Publicist
“After losing 100 pounds, I have completely changed the way that I dress at the gym. Initially, I wore loose fitting, oversized t-shirts and shorts or pants. I did not care about the brand or how it looked and sometimes I didn’t even care if it matched. I vividly remember a point during my weightloss journey where I told my best friend that I didn’t want to go to a particular gym because it was just a ‘fashion show’ and everyone was just ‘trying to be seen’. Looking back, I think I was just so insecure in myself that I didn’t want to be around these super-fit women in spandex. Nowadays, you can catch me brand-whoring in the gym, covering only my private parts, because everyone’s going to see this body I worked for!”
Cookie M., @CookieMiller, Certified Personal Trainer
“I have been on a fitness journey for about 6 years and, in the beginning, my gym clothes were super boring, but once I changed my lifestyle completely and started rewarding myself with workout clothes instead of food, I saw a big change in my gear and desire to want to workout! I don't feel pressured to dress sexy at the gym but I feel motivated because once upon a time I never wore my sports bra without a top over it, and now that's the only way I workout! I think dressing nice at the gym gives you that extra PUSH you need to start and remain healthy! I lost 100 pounds naturally and want people to see that the struggle is real and worth it!”
Donesha B., @Training4MyLife, Educator in the ATL
“I always wear form-fitting clothes to work out at the gym, tight-fitting tanks and leggings or shorts. This is not to be sexy, but to be able to check that my form is on point with each exercise. You can't do that in a baggy shirt and loose sweats. I feel empowered seeing myself lifting with perfect form in the gym mirrors. If people think I'm sexy, that is just a happy byproduct.”
Danielle F., @thedanifaust, Lifestyle Blogger
“I've always been shy of a lot of unwarranted body attention because I got these curves at a pretty young age, so I do intentionally play it down at the gym. I do like to shower right before the gym and add a light layer of mascara so I'm not the walking dead. That's pretty much the best it gets. I live in a very ‘young community’ and everyone in my neighborhood looks good. I purposely chose a family gym to alleviate myself of all responsibilities of having to look like ‘anything’ while working out. I like to look messy - I feel like I go harder. I wear leggings, although I do have a strict stretch/firm requirement. All my workout shirts were once "real" shirts that are just past their prime. I cut off the sleeves and I'm headed to the gym. My sports bras aren't that cute because I have big boobs so there's only a certain amount of cuteness available past a D cup. Also, I'm pretty curvy, so anytime you add spandex to that it instantly turns into a music video look.”
Janelle C., @icurenudity, Costume Designer
"When I go to the gym, I dress as if I'm going to put in work. I'm comfortable and covered, not dressy but surely not messy! My brows are filled to perfection just so I can feel some sense of pride when I see the look of exhaustion come across my face. At least I can say, ‘You cute, tho!’ I have to make sure all of my rolls and waves are covered up nicely because sweating already isn't a pretty sight! I wear an old pair of Nikes, sweats, and a tee. Just when I get in my groove, a skinny chick comes in wearing a matching Nike ensemble and turns the treadmill up to a 20 incline, and I immediately want to eat a Snickers. Other than that, I feel quite alright. The gym is my place to better me, not for others to get a better view of me."
Maleeka H., @officialmaleeka, Author
Do you feel pressured to look sexy in the gym? Share your thoughts below. No matter your style, we wish you good health and wealth in the New Year!
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
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