DARK SPOTS.
They show up on your skin from time to time. You find them on your face, your arms, legs, or anywhere you've touched your skin or maybe not touched your skin. By touch, I mean to pick, squeeze, or scratch an area of skin that is inflamed or healing.
Well, what is it? Is it just a scar? What causes this ugly darkening of the skin?
As told to me by my dermatologist, this skin condition is called Post-Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation (PIH). PIH is an injury or disorder of the skin. Essentially, it is the darkening of the skin after an injury from a cut, a burn, an insect bite, or more commonly acne. As the skin heals, an overproduction of melanin is produced. The extra melanin darkens and discolors the skin; the skin remains discolored after the wound has healed.
This is also how my skin heals and how everyone else with PIH heals. In the words of TLC, these dark spots on my face made me feel so damn unpretty. I felt like I never had good skin, even though people admired my complexion. I developed skin problems younger than most adolescent girls. I was so young, and I didn't have a good understanding of skincare. Especially, being a woman of color growing up in the late 1990s and early 2000s. Options were limited, and certain ingredients found in over-the-counter skincare products can further irritate PIH.
Post-Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation is a skin condition that affects men and women equally. This includes all skin types and more so people with skin of color. The majority of African-American women are susceptible to this disorder; roughly forty-five to eighty-three percent. The discoloration can take anywhere from three to twenty-four months to fade. Say what? While I am completely in love with my dark sun-kissed skin; the darker skin, the darker the spot, and the longer the healing process. Trust me. I have lived with post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation for a whole thirty-five years of life as I am sure many other women do too.
There is hope my melanin poppin' queens.
Treatment for PIH is readily available and there are more skincare options for women of color today than there were a decade ago. My skincare skills have increasingly been on point as I slide into my thirties. Here are some tips and products I have used to treat my post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation.
A Good Dermatologist
I cannot stress enough how important it is to find a good dermatologist, let alone a good esthetician. You want someone who takes the time to examine your skin, listen to your concerns, recommend a skincare routine, and prescribe medications (retinol, azelaic acid, glycolic acid, salicylic acid scrub, and a sulfur wash) that work for you. You don't want someone who is out to provide or sell services just to make a profit. I probably have gone through five different dermatologists over the last ten years. Recently, I found myself returning to my childhood dermatologist. To me, a good dermatologist (a good anything) is like dating, you're going to go through a few until there is that one that meets your needs.
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Stop Touching Your Skin
Don't you dare pop that pimple, pick that scab, cyst, ingrown hair, or scratch that mosquito bite. I promise you; you will be sorry later. We're all guilty of this though. Thanks, Dr. Pimple Popper for showcasing your skills. There is some kind of innate relief associated with popping pimples; disgusting yet satisfying. I know because my esthetician low key revealed this to me. Seriously, picking at your skin only makes hyperpigmentation worse and does not allow the discoloration to heal and fade. If you need to have blackheads or cysts removed, see a professional.
Chemical Peels
I scheduled a series of chemical peels at my local dermatologist's office. I tried a twenty to thirty percent salicylic acid peel for a period of three months (a chemical peel is recommended every four to six weeks). Chemical peels remove dead skin, promote skin growth, and even your skin tone. Everyone's result will be different, and your skin is guaranteed to peel as if you were sunburned. Sunblock and moisturizers are so necessary when undergoing this treatment. I was pleased with my results, but I probably needed a second round of treatment to achieve my desired results.
Facials
I had my first facial in January 2018 and the results were amazing. I couldn't believe the difference in my skin. I found an esthetician that I can trust with my skin. Let me just say, this is not easy to do. Unfortunately, sometimes we as women overpay for services based on an advertisement or because it sounds good. The majority of the time these services are not needed and are not conducive to individual skincare needs. So be careful. A good esthetician will always tell you the truth and set you straight. Estheticians and dermatologists generally recommend a facial at least once a month.
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Dermaplaning
Game-changer. Dermaplaning is the removal of dead skin cells and hair ("peach fuzz") from the face by using a surgical scalpel. The first time I received a dermaplaning treatment, I could not believe all the hair and old skin that was removed from my face. My skin was so soft, even, and brand new. I was legit glowing. Most estheticians or dermatologists offer this service and it's recommended every 3-4 weeks. Did you know every time you undergo dermaplaning, you are removing two to three weeks of dead skin?
These are my go-to-solutions to live with not having flawless skin due to post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation. Try whatever works for you and your skin.
Originally published on Medium
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RELATED
There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
GiphyBefore I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphyOkay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphySo, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
GiphyOkay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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