Parker McKenna Posey has come along way since My Wife and Kids. Most affectionately known for her role as little Kady Kyle on the hit ABC primetime show, she now stars as Laila James, the struggling and seductive actress looking to make a name for herself on the new BET hit series Games People Play. And while Parker and Laila differ in the way they go about establishing themselves in the world, it becomes clear as we chat that Parker wasn't exempt from adversity both inside and outside of the industry.
The 23-year-old actress admits during our phone call that the journey to get here has no doubt been filled with both let-downs and lessons alike. Taking the form of an acting hiatus while she finished high school, moving out of town, enduring a toxic relationship, unsuccessful auditions, and even a car breakdown the night before her BET audition--Parker assures me that those hardships weren't and won't ever be in vain.
"There were all these obstacles that were testing me in a way, kind of asking me, 'Do you really want this?'" she tells xoNecole. "So to have my manager call me not too long after and tell me, 'Hey they want you to test,' was such an amazing feeling. It was like a sign like, 'This is what you're supposed to be doing and all your hard work has finally paid off.'"
She continues, "It's definitely been a struggle, but I'm just happy to be back working on something that I'm super proud of being a part of. I love the cast and crew, it's all been really fun."
We got the chance to catch up with Parker where we talked her new show Games People Play, evolution, and why letting go of dead weight is so important, and here's what she had to say.
Describe your role as Laila James in 'Games People Play'.
Parker McKenna Posey: Laila James is an LA girl. She's a struggling actress, which is funny. She finds out that it's not as easy as just being talented or auditioning every other day. She realizes that that may not always get the job done, so she takes matters into her own hands. She kind of uses social media to get followers and views and blackmail in a sense. She just uses it for her own gain and throughout the season she finds that all that glitters isn't gold basically. She likes the attention but I think in the end she sees it's not worth it. I think right now people will love to hate her but by the end, people will come to understand her.
Games People Play/BET
How does it feel to be back on TV screens in this way on a network like BET?
Parker: To be honest, that was another thing that was really important to me coming back on-screen. I wanted to be a part of an all-black ensemble. On top of that, just having the chance to be on this network is amazing. I know BET is trying to make a difference on their network and bring more scripted shows and great projects to their network, so to be a part of that is really amazing. And to have an EP that's a black woman and who's been doing this for over twenty years--I feel like that was just an incredible experience to work with her and to just be in the same room as her. The writers are black and I love that. That was really important to me. To be a part of a project that cares about black excellence, it's really important at this time.
You’ve definitely come a long way from ‘My Wife and Kids’. 2006 to 2019, that’s 13 years, what has life been like for you since then?
Parker: We finished in 2006, so it's definitely been a long, long time… I just put it on hold throughout high school and I just focused on graduating and doing my best in school. I was trying to have the most normal experience possible, and then after that I kind of jumped back into it. I was constantly auditioning and try to figure out what the right fit for me. I was getting offered all these roles that weren't really how I wanted to come back and start off my career.
Parker McKenna Posey as Laila James
Games People Play/BET
"To be a part of a project that cares about black excellence, it's really important at this time."
I can imagine the journey between now and then has been filled with many twists and turns. How were able to stay focused and motivated?
Parker: To be honest, acting was all I've known my whole life, you know? Even after My Wife and Kids wrapped, I did a few plays, I've done so many commercials and I've gotten actually involved with modeling--so this industry is all I've known. It's something I've always been super passionate about and I've seen that if I just never give up, I would eventually get my moment. When you follow other child actresses' lives, it doesn't always end up the best, so I definitely wanted to show up in a positive way--and show that it can definitely be done. If you believe in yourself, you can definitely do it.
The name of the show is called ‘Games People Play’ and we arguably get to see a myriad of games displayed through the lives of all of the characters in various areas. What’s something you feel our generation needs to stop playing games about?
Parker: I'm not sure, I'm glad that there is a character like Laila and even if I wasn't playing her, the fact that there is a character like her--I feel like you can learn some things. I think also because people use social media in a lot of different ways, they should see that it's not all it's cracked up to be. People suffer from depression now because we're constantly comparing our lives to the things we see all day long. So I'm glad that my character is representing our age group and how we sometimes play into the social media game. Because it's kind of sad how we base our lives off of Instagram and likes and stuff like that. It's very real, its not just based off some bullsh-t.
You were in a pretty toxic relationship last year and it was unfortunately very public. How were you able to move forward and get back to the heart of Parker?
Parker: Thankfully, I have a really good family and friends who really care about me and my well-being. I'm a normal person, I don't like to really live my life online. I like to live a private life. Last year was really different for me, I just wasn't myself. And I feel like having a good foundation, writing, reading, hearing from other people's experiences and really surrounding myself with people I could lean on--that helped me. Writing how I feel--that really helped me and praying! I've become so much more spiritual. I've always believed in God and my Dad is an Adventist so we were always at church every Saturday until we were old enough to say no (laughs).
But when you're younger, it's hard to have that relationship with God and really understand. I've gotten so much closer to God, just talking with Him and not really asking for anything but just talking to Him about everything and thanking Him for being alive and for my blessings. I really had to come home and figure out what it was I wanted to do. I had to do some soul-searching and get down to the nitty-gritty of because I kind of lost myself. I had to talk with myself, meditate, hike, I got a trainer, worked out, started eating better. You know, you don't really realize how certain relationships can even affect your outer appearance. So I really needed to focus on myself, not do anything but spend time with ME and get ME back right.
"I really had to come home and figure out what it was I wanted to do. I had to do some soul-searching and get down to the nitty-gritty of because I kind of lost myself."
We often hear a lot of established and older women talking about the importance of letting go of dead weight and baggage. Erykah Badu made a whole song about it. But why would you say it’s important for you and those of us in this generation to do the same?
Parker: I really believe in taking care of yourself and letting go of any negativity. It's important to work on your mental state. You can get so much farther in life by being strong mentally. And that can start by doing something like simply working out, it doesn't always have to mean going to therapy and telling someone all of your problems. But just starting with the inside definitely helps because it shows. If your inside is not right, then your outside is definitely not going to be 100. And you can only pretend for so long before it starts eating at you. So it's necessary to let go of that dead weight and whatever you feel is holding you back.
For more of Parker, follow her on Instagram. Catch her starring as Laila in BET's Games People Play on Tuesdays at 9.
Featured image via BET
RELATED
And today? Today, I’m going to share something that, if you are married, you can do to improve your sex life that is actually super easy and hella effective. It just requires moving into a different space. Yes, literally.
Read on, and I’ll explain more.
Get Out of the Bed, Y’all. It’s Time.
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said over the years that I agree with interior designers when they say that the purpose of the bedroom is sex and sleep — no more, no less. And that alone makes it pretty obvious why the “default location” for copulation is a bed. It’s private. It’s comfortable. Plus, it’s such an ideal location for foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay (which typically consists of quite a bit of cuddling), too. And since beds/bedrooms are so ideal for sexual activity, it’s very easy to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach and just stay in that space most, if not all, of the time.
The challenge with that is, if you’re not careful, boredom can creep into your bedroom — and since I think we all can agree that a satisfying sex life is an essential part of any healthy relationship, boredom isn’t something that you should just shrug off, especially since one study revealed that about a third of Americans are currently not very thrilled by what’s happening up in their bedrooms these days.
Not only that, but I once read an article that said sexual boredom is why there is an uptick in masturbation, lower sex drives, an increase in cheating, more relational conflict, and a ho-hum take on relationships overall.
Now, are there seasons when sex is going to seem less exciting than others? 1000 percent (check out “The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through”). And so, if you’re reading this and you happen to be someone who plans on getting married someday, that is something that you should absolutely keep in mind. However, to the married folks, those seasons can happen less (or you can get through them faster) if you’re more intentional about doing things that can keep your sex life fresh and stimulating.
And one of those things includes…GETTING OUT OF THE DAMN BED.
5 Benefits of Having Sex Outside the Bedroom
GiphyOkay, so what are some of the benefits that come with making this minor coitus-related tweak?
1. Getting out of the bed is spontaneous. While reading an article that featured a survey of 500 Americans and 500 Europeans on their favorite place to have sex, the top rank was in public. I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s risqué, it’s random and the spontaneity of it all can be stimulating as all get out. Look, even if you’re not down for having sex in a restaurant or club bathroom, technically your backyard is still considered to be “public.” Pitch a tent and try it there. If you wait until nightfall, the fresh air and stars alone might get your adrenaline going…in ways you never expected.
2. Getting out of the bed is fun. It’s hard to be bored when you’re having fun and when you’re exploring something different with your partner, that can open the door to discuss new things, to laugh about new experiences, and to enjoy the trial and error of experimentation. Plus, laughter has been proven to release endorphins (feel-good hormones), which can make having orgasms easier. Besides, it’s kind of hard to not laugh, at least a little bit, when you’re in the midst of having a really good time — sex should also be considered a really good time.
3. Getting out of the bed can introduce you to new approaches to intimacy. Say that your man suggests going down on you on the countertop in the kitchen one day, out of the blue. I don’t mean during the midnight hour, either. I mean, when the sun is still out, and the curtains are slightly drawn. If normally, you’re down for some oral, yet you prefer to engage in pitch blackness while lying back on your mattress, being on the counter could “hit angles” that you didn’t know existed while being in the light could boost your sexual confidence in ways that you didn’t quite predict.
4. Getting out of the bed can teach you something else/different about your partner (and yourself). One of my clients once told me that when her husband recommended having sex in a Starbucks bathroom (one of the cleaner bathrooms, I’ve heard), she said that it caught her so off guard that they ended up having a long conversation about sexual fantasies. As a result, they decided to come up with sex-themed bucket lists every six months that consist of new things that they want to try. She said that it’s been one of the wisest moves that they’ve ever made. You can learn more about how to make your own by checking out, “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List.’”
5. Getting out of the bed can make your bedroom feel “new” again. You know what they say — absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you aren’t always having sex in that bedroom of yours, that can actually make you “miss” it sometimes, especially if you decide to do some redecorating (as far as bedding and candles, etc. go) a couple of times a year.
As you can see, doing something as simple as having sex somewhere other than your bedroom can create a whole new world, quite literally, as far as your sex life is concerned.
One of the Best Places to Have Sex
What if I’ve got you convinced to get out of your bed, and, yet, you’re not quite ready to do anything that’s considered to be “too crazy” just yet? No problem. All you’ve got to do is head towards the place where apparently most people use as a safe out-of-the-bedroom go-to: their living room couch.
In fact, couches are apparently so “sex popular” that a few years back, GQ published a piece entitled, “Couch Sex Is the Best Sex.” Why? Couches are comfortable. Couches are different from a bed.
Also, the sex position possibilities that come with the help of a couch are pretty endless. Not only that, but when I asked some of my clients how they felt about having sex on their own couches, several told me that the 69 (oral) sex position is on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the armrests on their couch (you’re welcome — LOL). So, if you’re wanting to “ease out” of the bedroom, sex-wise, try your couch. For starters.
15 Other Places to Have Sex (If You Haven’t Already)
GiphyNow that I’ve hopefully at least got you to consider getting out of the bedroom (period or far more often), let me share a quick list of places to try — in case you need a bit more inspiration:
1. The laundry room — with the cycle running, it’s like a huge vibrator.
2. The dining room — afteran aphrodisiac-filled romantic dinner. You’ll probably already havesome sex condiments within your arms’ reach.
3. In the shower. Before you hate, read this first: “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better.”
4. Against a wall — any wall. Have you noticed that some of the hottest sex scenes in movies are filmed up against a wall? It’s great for oral sex as well as intercourse.
5. In one of your closets. It’s in a close proximity, and you can hold on to racks that hold your hangers. Plus, it’s pitch black in there if dark is your thing…even in the daytime.
6. On throw pillows on the floor. Over the holidays, I watched a video of Nick Cannon with his firstborn twins at his house. One of his rooms is a theater room that’s filled with nothing but throw pillows. Personally, I’m a big throw pillow fan because they are cozy, comfy, and a great option for sitting on the floor. “Floor sex” conveys “gotta have you now” and the more lust that’s in the air, chances are, the better the sex will be.
7. In a rocking chair. Someone was recently telling me how amazing sex is in a tantra chair. When I looked one up, it reminded me of a chaise lounge. Anyway, that did get me thinking about how chairs can make for deeper penetration and super close face-to-face intimacy. If you step it up and get in a rocking chair, you can control the speed of the intercourse in a cool way. Try it and report back.
8. In a sleeping bag on your deck. Cuddling with your hubby is already going to get your oxytocin levels up. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so strip naked from the waist down and engage in spoon sex. No one has to know (which is a part of the thrill!).
9. In an office. His or yours. I mean, even if it’s a home office, it qualifies.
10. Via a trampoline. I mean, you might’ve bought one for the kids. However, after you read Elite Daily’s “4 Sex Moves To Try On A Trampoline & Take Getting Frisky To New Heights,” you might wanna get one for yourself. #wink
11. On a truck bed. Down a country road. It’s rustic, raw and romantic. If you don’t have a truck, borrow or rent one. It’ll be worth it.
12. On a road trip. Rent an SUV that has tinted windows. While heading to wherever you’re going, stop and have sex in random spots along the way. This is where quickies can come in hella handy.
13. On the hood of your car. I mean, it can always be in the garage…if you’d prefer.
14. Airport parking lots — in the cheap section. Hey, if public sex is your thing, you can try those same tinted windows that I just mentioned in the airport lot sections that are super far from the airport because they are cheap. If you go up in there after midnight, barely anyone is around. Just sayin’.
15. While on a sexcation. Pretty sure it’s time for one of those, anyway (check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”).
____
It’s actually a husband who once told me that it’s hard to get bored with your partner, so long as you both really desire each other and mutually want to keep your sex life strong. Changing locations can help with this, so use this year as the year to give it a shot. You might be surprised by how a simple shift can make sex the very kind that you’ve been longing for (lately)!
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Featured image by Giphy