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The Biggest Takeaways From xoNecole’s Own The Shift Event
After a month full of historical moments and memorials, of extreme highs and ground-shaking lows, the Own The Shift Wellness Event on Saturday was perfectly timed to shift my mindset and energies for 2021. Centered around topics ranging from money management to wellness to finding your voice, tangible and inspiring takeaways were shared amongst boss women to channel the readiness to step fully into owning the next transition of self and wealth. For me and hundreds of other ladies, it was the mental reset needed to tackle the rest of the year. From the inspiring opening statements from xoNecole founder Necole Kaneto the bevy of gems dropped from each speaker to the infectious laugh of Gia Peppers; Own The Shift was a phenomenal event to start this year.
To "own the shift" is to possess a curiosity within yourself, the courage to not ignore what you discover, and the unshakeable faith to stand firm in what you need to get what you want in life. Or, as host and multimedia journalist Gia Peppers put it, "learning how to own my shift as I walk into this next chapter (of life and career)." Across the range of panelists, we saw common themes about realizations, intentions, and dreams manifesting come into play. It was two hours of impactful, soulful, and dedicated advice to truly empower and motivate like-minded women. My notebook is filled with all the gems I wanted to savor, but here are the biggest takeaways I received from the #OwnTheShift event!
The Fundamentals of Awareness and Affirmation-Setting
Wellness Strategist Toni Jones shared several keys on how to own your shift through affirmations, honesty, and patience. The first step is being aware of your design to operate more healthily. By honing in on that awareness, you can find the discouraging narratives that are limiting the divine orchestration for what's possible in your lives. According to Toni, it's only after those steps that you can truly begin to own your shift.
Toni dropped so many gems in the first 30 minutes, along with making excellent analogies for how to think of yourself - especially when marketing and such. What is your campaign? How do we advertise to ourselves? You have to create affirmations that are true to you, and you alone. You have to give yourself new content to focus on, a new narrative to derive from. It's only by creating those intricate campaigns for ourselves that we can own the shift and step into our greatness.
"How do we create our own marketing campaigns for our greatness, for our potential, for our possibilities?"
Owning Your Genius + Prioritizing Your Needs
It's often said you need to shift your mindset to make and maintain a certain level of wealth, especially if you didn't grow up around money. But financial expert Tonya Rapley took it one step further and emphasized the importance of knowing your genius and prioritizing your financial needs to build and scale wealth. During Saturday's event, Tonya explained why a major part of "owning your shift" is understanding your particular zone of genius is, and understanding what you can and cannot learn. If you don't understand what level you're at, you won't be able to find successful resources to scale your business. As Tonya points out, a great first step is to find a coach who specializes in your niche and has worked with individuals who are in your shoes.
Once you fully understand your strengths and weaknesses personally and professionally, you can then implement tactics to achieve your business goals. At that point, prioritizing your needs against those goals will help to scale and maintain your business and wealth.
"If you have more than three goals (for the year), then you have none. You can't do it all."
The Power of Equanimity
For me, the word "equanimity" has followed me around since roughly 2017, when Dave Chappelle aptly named his comeback comedy special, Equanimity and The Bird Revelation. So, when best-selling author Lalah Delia encouraged hundreds of ladies to lean into more equanimity in 2021, I felt my entire soul fill up.
Equanimity is defined as the "evenness of mind especially under stress". It's truly an ethereal state of mind that disconnects from the chaos of life and centers the mind on peace and harmony. For Lalah Delia, it is the mindset that has helped her own the shift in her own life, especially with the uncertainty of 2020. It is something we all can tap into and maintain for ourselves; an aspect of life that is completely self-owned. The everyday practice of equanimity trains our physical bodies to understand that peace doesn't come from external outcomes like we are trained to believe. It allows us to practice a higher power of alignment and builds the fundamental skill of balancing ourselves.
"No matter how the energy of stress enters into your energy field, you're able to tap into equanimity, which means poise, composure, inner peace, and balance."
For more amazing experiences like this one, follow xoNecole on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and visit www.xoNecole.com! Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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Courtney is a contributing writer, based in Puerto Rico by way of Tennessee. Interested in the intersection of fashion and culture, she has an affinity for fashion, empowerment, and really good tacos. Keep up with her on Instagram (@hautecourtxo).
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
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That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
From Sipping Mocktails To Stretch Classes, This Cancun Resort Is A Wellness Paradise
My idea of the perfect vacation stay includes a clean, comfy room with stunning views, a variety of delicious food to eat, and an accommodating staff, and that’s exactly what I experienced when I visited the newly opened Hyatt Vivid Grand Island in Cancun, Quinta Roo, Mexico. It was my first time in the popular travel destination, and I was immediately enchanted by its beauty. I continued to revel in all of Cancun’s glory during my stay at Hyatt Vivid Grand Island, as it was designed as an indoor/ outdoor oasis.
When I first arrived at the all-inclusive adults-only resort, I was greeted with a tasty mocktail and received a tour of the facility. During the tour, I was blown away with every turn. The massive pool on the main level, the five restaurants, which we’ll get to later, and the extensive rooftop pool, which is the longest rooftop pool in Cancun. And with a rooftop comes views, and Hyatt Vivid didn’t disappoint. It’s situated between the Nichupté Lagoon and the Caribbean Ocean, which means guests get double the water views.
I was even more excited about the view from my room. My room overlooked Nichupté Lagoon, and throughout my stay, I would find myself being pulled to take in the view from my balcony or just sit and relax with a good book. The room itself was modern and spacious. The bathroom was a standout, thanks to the grand mirror that hits you when you first walk in and the roomy shower with two waterfall shower heads.
Bedroom
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Bathroom
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Food
If you’re a foodie like me, you’re in luck. Hyatt Vivid Grand Island has five restaurants, a taco truck, a café, and several bars. The first night, I had dinner at their Italian restaurant, Agilo. While I tried many dishes, my favorite was a pasta dish that had a nice kick to it. The next night, I tried their French restaurant, Le Lys, and enjoyed onion soup and ratatouille. But the grand finale was Oishii, a Japanese restaurant that turned out to be my favorite food experience during my whole trip.
The food was excellent, but the presentation for each course was even more exciting. I had a seven-course dinner that included a rack of lamb and mushroom dumplings, and I tried octopus for the first time. The resort is also very accommodating about food allergies and restrictions, which is helpful to those who want to have a stress-free time and not worry about whether what they eat will make them sick.
Octopus
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Rack of lamb
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Activities
As tempting as it is to stay in the room and melt into the cushy mattress, Cancun is all about fun in the sun, and there were many activities to accomplish that. My second day there was mostly spent at the resort’s beach club. It had a couple of pools, cabanas, a full-service bar, and a restaurant that sits right on the beach. As I sipped my many mocktails, I was embraced by the sun’s warmth and immersed in the scenic views of the turquoise waters the Caribbean Ocean is known for.
That morning, I participated in their stretch class that took place on their rooftop. It was a nice way to wake up the body while also being surrounded by 360-degree views of the coastal town. They offer many other activities on-site, including bracelet making, water aerobics, Black Jack, karaoke, and much more. If you’re looking for something a little more relaxed, then you can check out the spa, which offers a range of facials and massages. It did rain on and off during the trip, which made spa day the perfect activity as well.
Rooftop Pool
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Stretch Class
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Beach Club
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Overall, my first time in Cancun was amazing. I met some awesome people, ate some great food, and walked away with a beautiful memory and a tan.
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