21 Ulta Beauty Obsessions We're Trying To Cop This Fall
This article is in partnership with Ulta Beauty.
When it comes to beauty, Ulta Beauty has become synonmous as a one-stop shopping experience for makeup and skincare lovers alike. From in-store beauty services to their must-shop event 21 Days Of Beauty, Ulta Beauty has more than established themselves as that store. Recently, Ulta Beauty came through with the come through by unvieling the newness products we didn't know we needed. And we are so here for it!
The fall season is all about being out with the old and in with the new, and while the world very much feels out of our control, it feels great to find comfort and solace in the things you can control. That goes double for investing in yourself and your glow-up. Adding elements to your day like doing your makeup even if it's just for Zoom meetings, virtual Happy Hour with the ladies and treating yourself to a pamper session by adding a few more steps to your skincare routine are such a good reminder of how transformative your glow-up can be. Quarantine or not, it's important to gravitate towards things that build your self-confidence ad nurture your spirit.
For me, investing in myself looks like pampering my skin with products that speak to my needs, especially products that help with dark spots and hyperpigmentation. I'm currently eyeing the release of Dermalogica Hydro Masque Exfoliant, Mario Badescu Hyaluronic Dew Drops, and Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Scrub. My pores are ready to preserve this glow, honey, rea-dy. Remember ladies, black joy is an act of resistance.
Ulta Beauty is giving us a multitude of ways to shop these all-new launches. You can order online, shop in-store or in-app, or even pull up to do curbside pickup. Get into the 21 Ulta Beauty newness products that our editors are currently eyeing and prepare to shop 'til you drop!
NARS Climax Extreme Mascara
Ulta Beauty
NARS Climax Extreme Mascara takes lashes to new heights by turning things up to the extreme, thanks to its buildable volume. With an innovative formula that is as intense as it is flexible, the mascara is giving a whole new meaning to peak lashes, emphasis on the va-va-voom. And it manages to do so without the dreaded clumps or smudging that can come with other mascara formulas.
Urban Decay Stoned Vibes Eyeshadow Palette
Ulta Beauty
Who says you need to go out for an excuse to get glam? The Urban Decay Stoned Vibes Eyeshadow Palette is filled with tantalizing foiled shades and pressed glitters, reminding you of how fun it is to tap into your black girl magic. What's even better is that this palette consists of an innovative powder to cream formula that provides you with some melt-into-the-skin action. The end result? An enviable radiating finish, ensuring your glow is on go, whether you're getting your virtual happy hour on with friends or a quick socially-distanced date night in. We're just saying.
Dermalogica Hydro Masque Exfoliant
Ulta Beauty
There's nothing more indulgent than ending your day (or starting it) with a face mask. And Dermalogica knew exactly what they were doing with their Hydro Masque Exfoliant. The masque (that's masque with a 'que') packs a one-two punch thanks to its hydrating and exfoliating properties. This five-minute mask exfoliates with bamboo, while locking in moisture for smooth, renewed, and luminous skin. Yaaasss, glow!
Mario Badescu Hyaluronic Dew Drops
Ulta Beauty
Mario Badescu is that skincare brand. From oily to dry to acne-prone, they seem to offer a range of products that offer the gamut. With their Hyaluronic Dew Drops, they are once again flexing their muscles of why they're everyone's skincare favorite. With its ability to deliver botanical-infused hydration to your skin, this product also offers resurfacing, clarifying benefits that improve the quality of your skin. The end result is a dewy, ultra-hydrated complexion, taking your glow to even higher levels.
Tula Signature Glow Refreshing & Brightening Face Mist
Ulta Beauty
If we want to get into achieving a signature glow, Tula is where to begin. Tula Signature Glow Refreshing & Brightening Face Mist does exactly what their name suggests, all while protecting your skin from environmental damage. All-new to Ulta Beauty, the "highlighter in a bottle" is perfect for putting on as a primer before makeup, after makeup, or just to refresh and rehydrate your skin throughout the day. Either way, it allows you to pamper thyself while providing it with the moisture and protection it craves.
IT Cosmetics Your Skin But Better Foundation
Ulta Beauty
With its natural radiant finish coupled with its light-medium coverage formula, IT Cosmetics Your Skin But Better Foundation might be the simple, lightweight foundation you've been looking for. In addition to giving you coverage without a cakey finish or the feel of a full-coverage formula, this foundation comes in 24 shades and provides you with 24 hours of hydration, giving you a bright and even skin tone without sacrificing your desire for a more natural go-to makeup look.
Clinique Even Better All-Over Concealer + Eraser
Ulta Beauty
Clinique Even Better All-Over Concealer + Eraser is serving up 'your skin, but better' realness with the debut of this incredible product. This concealer visibly treats dark circles and reduces the look of puffiness all day and overtime while providing you with the coverage you so desire. Available in 30 shades, the caffeine-, Vitamin C-, and hyaluronic acid-enriched product proves to be makeup that covers up while improving your skin underneath. Plus, with its 12-hour wear and 24-hour hydration, Clinique shows beauty-lovers everywhere why this concealer is a must-have.
StriVectin Super-C Retinol Serum
Ulta Beauty
The StriVectin Super-C Retinol is the Vitamin C product of the gawds. Vitamin C is a highly regarded skincare ingredient because it helps to brighten the skin, reducing the appearance of dark spots and hyperpigmentation over time. This product in particular couples Vitamin C with retinol, creating a winning combination of brightening and protection that will help you achieve flawless skin in no time.
Peach and Lily Cold Brew Eye Recovery Stick
Ulta Beauty
Peach & Lily is a Korean skincare brand that offers an array of products catering to skincare needs. With the Peach & Lily Cold Brew Eye Recovery Stick, say goodbye to whatever bags your eyes may be carrying. This eye cream helps eliminate the appearance of undereye circles and puffiness by tightening and hydrating that area of your skin.
Benefit Cosmetics Brow Microfilling Pen
Ulta Beauty
The Benefit Cosmetics Brow Microfilling Pen helps you achieve the perfect brow one stroke at a time. Get the coveted microbladed effect at a fraction of the price or the effort with the help of this miracle product. With a staying power of up to 24 hours, this microfilling pen is the one product your brow needs.
Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex
Ulta Beauty
One of the best times to really pour into your skin routine is at night. This is because your skin is given the opportunity to repair itself during the hours you've closed your eyes to sleep. That being said, what you apply to your skin at night could be the difference between meh skin and skin that is absolutely radiant. Case in point, Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Multi-Recovery Complex puts in work by reducing visible signs of aging and evening your skin tone. Problem skin, be damned.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Scrub
Ulta Beauty
Issa brightening facial scrub! We live for all things brightening, especially where vitamin C is involved. Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Scrub is a powerful vitamin C product, given its inclusion of its mega-potent THD Ascorbate that takes the traditional vitamin C ingredient to new levels. This scrub polishes and brightens the skin's overall appearance, aiding in creating an even skin tone and diminishing the appearance of hyperpigmentation over time.
Ursa Major Golden Hour Recovery Cream
Ulta Beauty
Our skin encounters much more harm throughout our day-to-day than you might think. Between enduring indoor and outdoor air pollution, UV rays, and sweat amid other environmental damage, your skin goes through it. Ursa Major Golden Hour Recovery Cream just might be the remedy. This gluten-free, vegan, and cruelty-free product is a blend of spicy sandalwood, sweet neroli, and sour rose that provides nourishment and deep hydration to replenish your skin. Better yet, you can use it daily or nightly to truly treat yo' self.
Fifth & Root Calming Facial Moisturizer
Ulta Beauty
Vegan and cruelty-free, Filth & Root Calming Facial Moisturizer is a CBD facial moisturizer that feels like therapeutic luxury in the palm of your hands. Rich in Terpenes and Adaptogens, this moisturizer fights inflammation and hydrates. Keep your breakouts at bay and your skin quenched with this CBD beauty find.
First Aid Beauty FAB Pharma Arnica Relief & Rescue Mask
Ulta Beauty
First Aid Beauty FAB Pharma Arnica Relief & Rescue Mask is a product featured among First Aid Beauty's particular array of pharmacy-inspired skincare and targeted treatments. This mask is self-care reinvented and its rich and creamy texture will have you feeling like you're lounging in a lap of luxury from the comfort of your home. The mask soothes and relieves stressed, irritated, and dehydrated skin. As you pour into yourself, you
Becca Cosmetics Ultimate Hydra-light Plumping Lip Mask
Ulta Beauty
Sometimes our lips are an aspect that we neglect in our skincare routines, despite them being such a focal point. Keep your lips hydrated and smooth by investing in a go-to lip mask like this one by Becca. Wear your lip mask at night to restore moisture into your pout, wake up and wash away the dead skin for a smooth and hydrated reveal. Your lips will thank you for it.
Beekman 1802 Milk Drops Probiotic Ceramide Serum
Ulta Beauty
Probiotics does more than just wonders for your gut health. Now, with the help of Beekman 1802 Milk Drops Probiotic Ceramide Serum, your skin gets to reap some of those benefits too! Beekman 1802's revolutionary goat milk skincare skystem is the gift that keeps giving with the arrival of its power-packed serum that leaves your skin smooth, radiant, and even-toned. In just one drop, you get a serum that contains hella squalane, essential ceramides, plant enzymes, and hyaluronic acid. Discoloration and dull skin, be gone!
Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Pen
Ulta Beauty
The most popular way to fill in sparse brows is by creating hair-like strokes with your brow pencil or pomade of choice. In case you didn't know, Anastasia Beverly Hills has a Brow Pen that promises to give you those hair-like strokes for a natural-looking brow with a fraction of the effort. The brand who is known for their prowess over the brow sector knew what they were doing when they created this long-wearing pen.
Tula Glow Hour Brightening Eye Balm
Ulta Beauty
As more of us spend more time working from home and being immersed in blue light, gravitating towards products that can help improve your skin while protecting you against potential damage. In addition to protecting you, it also neutralizes dark circles and hydrates the undereye area.
Exuviance Pure Retinol Correcting Peel
Ulta Beauty
One word: brightening. This correcting peel by Exuviance is an intensive retinol correcting peel that improves the look and feel of your skin's texture over time. With consistent weekly use, the peel makes dark spots caused by aging, scarring, or sun damage less visible on the surface of the skin. Your skin will be lifted, firmer, and more flawless in no time.
L’Occitane Almond Shower Oil
Ulta Beauty
Say hello to what's new in French skincare. L'Occitaine wants us to feel as pampered as possible in our showers by dipping our toes into a pool of this lavishness. The L'Occitaine Almond Shower Oil is 'hydration' in a bottle, as the two-in-one shower oil offers duality in its benefits. While most cleansers can be rather stripping to the body, especially coupled with the stripping aspects of warmer water in our showers, this product moisturizes the skin, and can even be used to replenish moisture on even the driest skin type.
Featured image by Shutterstock
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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Feature image by fizkes/ Getty Images