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Modest Fashion Is Having A Moment — And These Influencers Share Why It’s More Than A Trend
Growing up in the early 2000s, it was common to see our favorite music artists, high fashion models, and video vixens revealing plenty of skin with an emphasis on their favorite assets throughout many facets of mainstream media. While overtly convincing young women being sexy was determined by the least amount of clothing one could possibly wear, it caused many of us to become obsessed with our bodies believing that was the only way to be seen, feel beautiful, and most importantly gain the attention of the opposite sex.
Over 20 years later the fashion industry is beginning to shift in ways we haven't seen in decades. Throughout the spring 2023 runway collections, designers debuted enticing looks featuring long hemlines with emphasis on silhouettes and fully covered midriffs articulating sexiness with fashion-forward modesty.
A part of this modern culture shift can be attributed to the current state of our economy here in the United States. As we climb out the last three years of a worldwide pandemic there has been a decline in consumer confidence with predictions of a looming economic downturn. The hemline index theory is what's known in the fashion industry as the theory of recessions correlating to longer hemlines and less flashy clothing resulting in a more conservative way of life. To give a comparison, skirts tend to get shorter when the economy is doing well and people are feeling more confident financially and longer when there's less optimism and uncertainty.
While the theory is debatable in its factual nature, this can be seen throughout history with clothing being of neutral tones and less revealing following the Wall Street Crash leading to the Great Depression and World Wars in the most extreme cases, while bright and jubilant during the 1960s and early 2000s.
When it comes to fashion, less being more is truly subjective, especially to those that believe dressing conservatively to be the quintessential aspect of true elegance, style, and liberation. While seemingly another mainstream fashion trend on the rise here in the United States, for many women around the world modesty is not a trend but a lifestyle. More than maxi skirts, oversized blazers, and baggy trousers, modesty represents a mindset of sophistication while demanding respect for one's body, mind, and soul regardless of one's personal style or religious affiliation.
Even with a modern shift in the sartorial world, modesty has misconceptions of its own. While there’s still a long way to go with modest representation, these fashion influencers are sharing why they believe modesty makes women more attractive and how it’s more than clothes but a way to represent who they are from the inside out.
Aïssata Diallo
“Modesty is the core of my self-expression and there's a level of elegance to it that I always found endearing.” - Aïssata Diallo
Based in NYC, Aïssata is a fashion influencer whose style is based on who she is and where she’s from. When asked what inspired her style she shares, “My personal style comes from my inspirations of the inner-city girl mixed in with my faith and culture. I try to blend all of these different components of myself [in]to one aesthetic that screams modern Muslim woman from NYC.” Developing her personal style, Aissata says “modesty” was not in her vocabulary at a young age. “Being new to this, it took time figuring out my personal style, and to be honest the learning is still ongoing but it’s been empowering to keep pushing the envelope with my modest fashion.”
For many Muslim women, modesty can be seen as oppressive from the outside looking in, what many fail to see is that women of the faith have a choice in how they want to be perceived in the world and express beauty in their own way. “What most people don’t realize is that modesty is a personal journey and a decision you have to make for yourself otherwise you’d never stick through with it. Eventually, I got to a point where I wanted to submit to God.”
She continues, “Modesty is the core of my self-expression and there’s a level of elegance to it that I have always found endearing. In being modest you’re going against the societal norm to revel in the power of your choice. It’s also a spiritual thing for me and a way to please God. It’s more than just what you’re wearing on the outside, it’s a lifestyle. The way you carry yourself, the way you think, your heart, your morals, and values. There’s a lot of inner work that goes into it and the outer beauty just reflects it.”
"Dressing more modestly naturally elevated my style." - Aïssata Diallo
Another way modesty defines a woman's beauty is by elevating personal style, shifting from fast fashion to investing in quality items. “In my opinion, modesty enhances a woman’s beauty beyond the superficial and [adds] substance, depth and a level of mystery to one’s beauty.” Aïssata continues, “It also enhances the amount of respect I demand/receive from anyone who sees me. In terms of my personal style, dressing more modestly naturally elevated my style. I used to buy a lot of fast fashion before embarking on this journey and now I find myself only investing in high-quality pieces.”
Furthermore, Aissata explains, “Modesty is personal, and it does not have to be boring and you don’t have to look like an elderly. I’m learning that you can bring parts of yourself and your culture in your modest journey and continue to grow further as you learn more about yourself and your faith.”
Asma Shakar
“Modestly enhances my personal style because it forces me to pay more attention to the small details of my outfits.” - Asma Shakar
Fashion stylist and boutique owner Asma Shakar is a fashion influencer who describes her personal style as both modest and versatile. “Modesty to me not only means dressing in a way that my body is not shown. It also relates to how I carry and conduct myself as a woman and as a Muslim,” Asma shares. “I think modesty enhances a woman's beauty because it allows for people to look past their physical attributes and focus more on their heart and soul. Modesty enhances my personal style because it forces me to pay more attention to the small details of my outfits.”
Always feeling confident, she continues to elevate and develop her natural style. “I feel like I’ve always been confident in my personal style but it has been developing since I learned the true definition of style.” She continues, “I honestly feel like my personal style is developing every day and probably won’t stop anytime soon.”
As far as negative stereotypes for Muslim women, she states that “one of the biggest misconceptions is that dressing modestly as a Muslimah is oppressive. But when major fashion houses dress their models modestly, it’s fashion. I believe when I dress modestly it’s liberating as opposed to being oppressive.”
Anne
“It shows class and a sense of inner confidence.”- Anne
Conservative fashion doesn’t always have to be a religious decision. For Anne, it’s an expression of who she is and how she feels on the inside. “How I dress is a reflection of my mood and energy. I’m always intentional about the way I want to look.” She continues, “There’s an effortlessness and hints of androgyny that always remain as part of my signature style. I enjoy playing in clothes and reinventing myself.”
Her belief in modesty is simple, it’s a choice. “It shows class and a sense of inner confidence. It can also be seen as a reflection of one’s self-esteem. My personal style is predominantly modest because I enjoy the contrast of wearing something feminine with something masculine. I think there’s so much more to look at when you’re fully clothed and dressed well.”
“Modesty enhances a woman’s beauty by shifting the focus to the beauty of other attributes like her smile, behavior, her stance, and/or her words. Modesty isn’t a limitation, it’s the liberty to showcase other sides of you.” - Anne
As a child, Anne states she was always confident in her style which gave her the freedom to express herself and develop into the woman she was destined to become. “I was confident as a child with my style. I was given the space to express myself through clothes. I liked what I liked and there was always a freedom to choose how I wanted to present myself. My mom really nurtured that side of me.” Allowing her that freedom, she learned how to see herself in many forms and appreciate all attributes of herself which gave her the freedom to experiment with style. “I believe modesty enhances a woman’s beauty by shifting the focus to her smile, her behavior, her stance, and/or her words. Modesty isn’t a limitation, it’s the liberty to showcase other sides of you.”
Modesty enhances Anne’s personal style by inspiring her to experiment with layering, structure, and shape. She shares her number one style rule, “If I’m to wear something that shows a little more skin, everything else is to be covered. I think the overall look becomes that much more interesting and tasteful.”
Her overall thoughts on why she encourages modesty are that “it inspires transformation. There are so many ways to enhance your beauty and reinvent yourself whilst fully dressed. Modesty isn’t boring. It’s timeless and powerful.”
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Featured image by Aïssata Diallo/Instagram
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These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
Common Says He May Be Ready To Put A Ring On Jennifer Hudson: 'If I’m Going To Get Married, It's To Her'
Rapper and actor Common stirred speculation about his future with Jennifer Hudson during a revealing TheBreakfast Club interview to promote his new album.
The couple, who sparked dating rumors in 2022, confirmed their relationship years later on The Jennifer Hudson Show. Since then, both have offered occasional glimpses into their romance during interviews and social media posts.
Common opened up about his relationship with Jennifer during his recent The Breakfast Club appearance. The 52-year-old discussed managing their high-profile romance, how the actress and singer has reconnected him with his roots, and hinted at what the future might hold for the couple.
Common On How He Handles Their High-Profile Relationship
When asked about his relationship playing out in the media, Common acknowledged the couple's celebrity status and the public's intrigue. "The Light" emcee revealed that he solely focused on building a solid foundation for their relationship to withstand external pressures.
“I just try to make sure we stay as sacred as possible with us. I try to make sure we build our foundation because once people start talking, they can distract you, can get you off, it can discourage you,“ he said.
Common On How Jennifer Helped Him Get Back To His Chicago Roots
Further into the conversation, Common shared how the daytime television host helped him reconnect with his Chicago roots - a shared background, as both were born and raised in the Windy City.
While discussing his new track "Chi-Town Do It" from The Auditorium Vol. 1 album, the rapper expresses his appreciation for Chicago and his love for Jennifer. Common elaborated that his relationship with the EGOT winner has led to frequent visits to Chicago, allowing him to spend extended time with loved ones and stay rooted in his community.
“I’m going to be real with you. Having a lady that’s from Chicago allowed me to go home and just be home,” he stated.”I hadn’t did that in a while. Where I was just like going home and being around my loved ones and didn’t have no work to do… So me going back just for regular shit, it just helped me stay rooted in what I do and who I am.”
Common On Possibly Marrying Jennifer Hudson
When asked about taking the next step with Jennifer, Common expressed optimism, citing that their healthy and loving relationship could lead to wedding bells.
"With all due respect to all the women I've dated, it's all love, but this is a really healthy and beautiful relationship…If I’m going to get married, it's to her,” he said.
This revelation suggests marriage may be on the horizon for Common and Jennifer. It's not the first time the Fool's Paradise actor has hinted at tying the knot, lending more weight to the possibility.
Earlier this year, Common revealed in an interview that personal growth and lessons from past relationships have transformed his perspective on marriage. The star sees himself ready for commitment, stating he'll propose when the timing feels right.
Although wedding bells aren't ringing yet, it's beautiful to see Black love flourishing.
Common & Pete Rock On Respect For Hip Hop, LL Cool J, Kendrick, Jennifer Hudson, New Album + More
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