These 8 Hacks Will Immediately Give Your Mental Health A Much-Needed Boost

If there is one thing that 2020 and 2020 2.0 (which is what I call 2021) taught us, it's how important it is to prioritize our mental health and well-being. Yet in the midst of all of the drama that just refuses to let up around here, I totally get if that can be hard to do. That's why I've got a few hacks; ones that I hope will help to relax you, to center you, to not let this crazy world get you so caught up and frazzled that you're not able to focus on your priorities, your needs, your peace.
If it feels like you've been on edge lately and, no matter what you do, you can't seem to get a grip, here are eight things that can help to bring you back to the middle.
1. Create Something

In the Bible, the first thing that God is introduced as is being our Creator. Since the Good Book says that we are made in his image and likeness (Genesis 1), I am a firm believer that we all have the ability to create something — to make something that came out of our own thoughts or imagination. It might be a piece of jewelry. A photograph. An article. Some art. A DIY project. The list is endless yet when you are intentional about creating something unique and new, it affirms the power and ability that you have within your own being and how can that not be the ultimate kind of mental health boost?
2. Talk to a Positive Person

Lawd. There is so much negativity out in these streets that I think we should take out a moment to discuss some of the telling signs of what a positive person looks and lives like. Positive people tend to look for the good in all situations. Positive people like to laugh and have a good time. Positive people are self-aware and mindful. Positive people are supportive and encouraging of others. Positive people choose to let things go. Positive people don't wallow in negative feelings. Positive people are proactive about making wise and healthy choices. Positive people are solutions-oriented. Positive people surround themselves around other positive people.
Some days are gonna be better than others. Don't beat yourself up about that. However, instead of hopping on social media or calling that one relative who finds a way to see the bad in everything, connect with a positive person instead. I've got a friend who is always seeing life from a glass-half-full perspective. It's kind of hard to stay feeling "blue" when she sees things in "yellow"…if you know what I mean.
3. Buy Yourself a Plant or Some Flowers

Did you know that there are science-based reasons why having a plant in your house is a really good idea? Thanks to the organic compounds known as phytoncides, plants can help to reduce your stress levels which can ultimately boost your immune system. Since plant life also has a way of calming us down, they can actually boost your productivity levels if you have one at your desk or home office. And, because plants require some level of care, they are a way to help you to become more nurturing and compassionate to others as well. So yeah, if you're looking for a bit of a mental pick-me-up, a plant can be just the thing to help you do it.
While we're on this topic, something else that you can do is purchase a bouquet of flowers (check out "Love Fresh Flowers? Here Are Tips To Make Them Last Longer"). The combination of the colors and scent, along with making a proactive decision to do something to make you feel better is also a great way to give yourself the mental boost that you need.
4. Take a Nap

Something that my friends know about me is I talk about taking a nap like I am about to have sex with a 6'5" Godiva-coated king. I'm not joking. I think a big part of it is because, when I'm not counseling couples, I'm usually on my laptop writing about stuff like this which is a blessing (because I am doing what I want to do for a living, from the comfort and convenience of my house) and yet can also be a little draining too. And so, when my mind tells me that it wants a break, I give it just that. And because naps give me more energy and help me to feel refreshed, I am all about encouraging other folks to take one too.
If you're doing it strictly for the sake of your mental health — you know, in order to get through the rest of your day — there are a few things to keep in mind. For starters, a nap that lasts longer than 30 minutes can put you into a deep sleep that could cause you to wake up feeling groggier and/or throw off your sleep schedule at night. That's why you should set an alarm to go off at around 20 minutes, you should try and take a nap in the early afternoon, and you should do it in silence or with some ASMR nature sounds; that way, your brain can truly get some rest (without your mind working overtime, even in your sleep), so that you can feel significantly better once you awaken.
5. Have a Yogurt Smoothie, Salmon Salad, Some Guacamole or a Piece of Dark Chocolate

Having a little snack is something else that you can do to mentally get through the rest of your day. A yogurt-based smoothie is good because the potassium and magnesium can help to increase oxygen to your brain which can make you feel more alert. A salmon salad is bomb because salmon is high in omega-3 fatty acids and Vitamin D, both of which are proven to reduce depression-related symptoms, sharpen your memory and improve your mood. I will make some fresh guacamole in a heartbeat — good thing too because the Vitamin K and folate that are in avocados can help to improve one's memory and concentration while the carotenoid lutein is great at strengthening brain function. Or how about a couple of pieces of dark chocolate? So long as it's 60 percent dark cocoa or more, you'll be taking in the antioxidants known as flavonoids which are awesome at keeping you alert and putting you into a better mood.
6. Turn Your Phone Off

Sometimes, what has us stressed out more than anything is the fact that either folks are constantly able to get a hold of us or we're overwhelmed by all of the info that we're consuming online. The device that typically makes this possible is our phone. While I know it might seem like you can't live without your smartphone, a lot of us are old enough to remember what it was like to only have landlines and I promise you that we survived — thrived even. Unless you are a parent, there is no need to feel hesitant about turning off your phone from time to time. Even if you are, at least silence those notifications for a few hours a day.
The sense of urgency that phones provide is an illusion. Folks can text or leave a message after the beep and whatever your social media accounts are talking about, you can pick up where you left off whenever you log back on. (For more reasons to take this tip to heart, check out "8 Solid Reasons To Put. Your Phone. Down.")
7. Write Someone a Thank-You Note

If there is one thing that the absolute cyclic-ness of this pandemic has taught me (Lawd, did folks learn anything last year?!), it's how selfish and unteachable human nature can be (especially in the United States). If you're not careful, it can get you either super caught up or really jaded. One way to avoid this is to focus on the things that you should be grateful for. One way to do that is to handwrite a thank-you note to someone.
It can be a friend, a co-worker, someone who works at a favorite store — even your partner or child. By making the time to tell another person what you truly appreciate about them, it can remind you about the good things that still exist in this world while helping you to not be so self-consumed. Besides, the response that you get from that person will be sure to put a smile on your face. It's a "win" all the way around.
8. Toast Yourself

I am BIG on toasting myself. I will straight-up go to the store, get myself some bubbly (sometimes alcoholic, sometimes not), fill up a champagne flute, and think of something that I am proud of (even if it's as simple as not cussing somebody out who really needed it or paying a bill ahead of time) and "drink" to it. Y'all, sometimes, we're so consumed by all of the ways that we can improve that we don't take a minute to celebrate how far we've come — even if it's in tiny increments.
When it comes to mental health hacks that can immediately do you some good, I'm signing off here because ending the day with a toast to yourself can do wonders. I've been doing it for years and it always makes me feel really good. About myself. Which is always a mental health boost. Cheers!
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Featured image by Unsplash
Originally published on September 9, 2021
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The Real Reason You Overthink And Crave Reassurance In Love
Over 40 million Americans have an anxiety disorder. However, what if I told you that everyone on the planet experiences situational anxiety - feelings of anxiousness when exposed to certain situations - and this isn't a diagnosis but rather a part of everyday life?
Given the prevalence of anxiety, it's quite possible that symptoms of anxiety will arise not just during the dating phase but even in the relationship phase, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s simply an effect of being human. Although it's normal to feel anxious, it's important to remember that leaving anxiety untreated can have detrimental side effects that impact our daily lives.
Relationship Anxiety: Signs And How To Overcome It
Anxiety is a common issue many people face, which can significantly impact romantic relationships. Here are several ways that anxiety can show up in romantic relationships and what you can do about them:
Relationship Anxiety Signs #1: Overthinking
The anxious brain can feel difficult to manage. People with anxiety tend to overthink situations, causing them to become anxious and worried about things that may not be a big deal. This can lead to arguments and misunderstandings in a relationship, as the anxious partner may worry about things that the other partner does not find concerning. Challenging irrational thoughts and having conversations about those that feel rational is important. Often, the quick fix to feeling anxious in a relationship is communication.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #2: Need for Reassurance
Individuals with anxiety may need constant reassurance from their partner, which can be draining for the other partner. It is important for the anxious partner to work on building their own self-confidence and trust in their partner.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #3: Fear of Abandonment
Anxious attachment, much? People with anxiety may have a fear of abandonment, causing them to become clingy or too dependent on their partner. This can be difficult for the other partner, who may feel smothered or unable to have their own space. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their fear of abandonment and trust in their partner's commitment to the relationship.
Going to therapy is often the first step to healing your abandonment wound because it’s much deeper than your partner’s actions, and if you don’t get to the root of the problem, you will continue to watch the problem grow.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #4: Avoidance
Individuals with anxiety may avoid situations or conversations that make them feel anxious or uncomfortable, leading to a lack of communication and intimacy in the relationship. If you want to build a safe and secure relationship, you have to be an active participant in your relationship. Do things like couple experiences or card games to enhance emotional intimacy and build a safe relationship you don’t want to run away from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #5: Control
Anxiety can lead to a need for control, manifesting in a relationship as controlling behavior. This behavior can come from jealousy and other issues, and it can become destructive and damaging to both partners. It is important for the anxious partner to manage their anxiety and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember, being in a relationship does not mean you own your partner. Control is a personal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
Trying to rob them of their autonomy will cause friction and lead to relationship dissatisfaction based on your inability to be a secure partner. Get the help you need by working through your fear of letting go and discerning where your controlling behavior stems from.
Relationship Anxiety Signs #6: Perfectionism
People with anxiety may have a tendency towards perfectionism, leading to unrealistic expectations and pressure in the relationship. It is important for the anxious partner to learn how to manage their anxiety and develop a more realistic and compassionate view of themselves and their partner.
Anxiety can have a significant impact on romantic relationships. It is important for both partners to work together to manage anxiety, develop healthy coping mechanisms, communicate effectively, and trust each other. However, it is also important to do the inner work, as anxiety can be an internal issue that your partner cannot fix for you.
If you want to build a healthy relationship, you must contribute to it by engaging in healthy behaviors.
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Originally published on July 14, 2023
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Your November 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Transformation & Divine Timing
November is the month of trusting your progress and efforts, and not overthinking what needs more time. As we move towards the end of the year, we have some significant retrogrades, but we also have substantial opportunities for growth and abundance. The Sun is in Scorpio, and Scorpio Season provides a certain amount of depth needed to transform and see the beauty in a rebirth.
November is about honoring divine timing and discovering your power through authenticity.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes: An Overview
The passion is high this month, as we have Mars moving into Sagittarius on November 4 and remaining there until December 15. Mars in Sagittarius is adventurous, forthcoming, and empowered. This is the perfect energy we need to get through the month's retrogrades, as Mars will guide us towards what is the highest good. The following day, we have a Supermoon in Taurus, and love comes full circle. A Supermoon in Taurus is all about gaining clarity within financial matters and relationship developments. This Supermoon brings an awareness of what you need to feel more secure, grounded, and safe in the present moment.
Venus, the planet of love, enters Scorpio on November 6 until the end of the month, and Venus in Scorpio is powerful. This brings an intensity to love, but it is also a good time for intimacy, commitment, and getting some more alone time with a partner. Uranus Retrograde moves into Taurus on November 7 and will be Retrograde here until February 3, 2026. Uranus, during this time, will provide more revelations into matters you have been looking to stabilize and find your ground in since 2018. This transit gives a final opportunity to regenerate new ideas, efforts, and intentions.
The final Mercury retrograde of the year occurs this month, and it begins in Sagittarius on November 9, moves into Scorpio on November 18, and goes direct on November 29.
While in Sagittarius, Mercury retrograde asks to be more patient with travel plans, new adventures, and communicating before you have all of the facts. While in Scorpio, Mercury retrograde will highlight what transformations are needed within relationship dynamics, and what path forward will help you gain your empowerment and inner clarity here. Jupiter also goes retrograde this month and will be retrograde in Cancer until March 10, 2026. Jupiter retrograde in Cancer brings emotions to the surface, and everything can seem a little more overwhelming than it actually is in this energy.
Overall, this transit occurs to guide you through new emotional regulation tools and show you what dreams can come true when you take some time to reflect.
The New Moon of the month occurs on November 20 in Scorpio, and this is a New Moon of manifestation. This New Moon provides the new beginning you have been looking for, and something is inspiring about what presents itself during this time. The following day, the Sun moves into Sagittarius, and Sagittarius Season officially begins. Sag Season is the upliftment we need after a month of closure, clarity, and transformation, and there is a lot to look forward to as we end the month. On November 27, Saturn goes direct in Pisces after being retrograde since July, and with this powerful force now direct, what you have been building and rebuilding through the heart since 2023 comes to fruition in a more grounded and long-term way.
Overall, November is a big game-changer, and what is being brought to the surface is changing things for time to come.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what November 2025 has in store for you.
Your November 2025 Monthly Horoscopes For Every Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about finding your balance, Aries. A lot of things are in motion for you right now, but you may not be seeing eye to eye with some of the people around you in the midst of it all. Your guidance for the month is to choose your battles wisely and to think more about what will benefit you long-term. Mars enters your 9th house of adventure this month, and you are feeling fierce, inspired, and ready.
The Mercury retrograde of the month inspires you to open your mind to what else is possible for you in life, and gives you the clarity needed to make the necessary changes to be in the place you want to be. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your 8th house of rebirth, signifying the deep changes you are moving through this month.
As November closes out, remember to set your intentions for where you want to feel the passion, commitment, and depth in your world, and what ideas or perceptions you may need to let go of to see your own truth a little clearer.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about taking more time for yourself, Taurus. You are in a contemplative mood this month and are seeking more alone time for healing, clarity, and emotional rejuvenation. This month, we have a Supermoon in Taurus on November 5, and this Supermoon is bringing your goals, intentions, and path ahead to the surface. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t resonate with your soul and to pay attention to your inner guidance system and the signs you are receiving in your life right now.
Venus moves into your 7th house of love this month, and love is here for you to thrive and grow in.
Relationship matters feel more promising in this energy, and you are a magnet for love, reciprocity, and romance. Uranus retrograde also moves back into your sign on November 7 for its final transit through Taurus. Until February of next year, you will be reevaluating plans and intentions, and learning more about yourself and what you need to feel both inspired and grounded in life.
With a lot of energy in your 1st house of self and 7th house of love, November is all about finding the balance between what you need and what your relationships are asking of you.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of growth, Gemini. You enter the month with the Sun, Mercury, and Mars in your relationship zone, and you are motivated to connect, move forward, and own what you need in love. This is a beautiful month of being met with the love you are giving out, and feeling like you are supported in life. Your wisdom is growing, your inner clarity is shining, and there is something beautiful about the space you find yourself in this month.
Uranus retrograde enters your house of closure on November 7, moving out of your sign and giving you a chance at healing. This is your opportunity to close the door to a chapter in your life that felt more restrictive than freeing, and to develop the insight needed to move on from negative energy for good. Your ruling planet, Mercury, also goes retrograde this month, and will be guiding your heart towards what people, relationships, and experiences light up your life and make you feel loved and seen.
Overall, November is a big month for owning the wisdom you have found in life and in love.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about trusting your instincts and listening to the guidance of your soul, Cancer. You are naturally a very intuitive being, and November is requiring you to use this strength for your benefit. As you enter the month, there is a Supermoon in your 11th house of friendship, community, and dreams, and manifestations appear that you have been looking forward to.
The patience you’ve had in your life shows fruition for you now, and you are recognizing that you’ve had the right idea all along.
Jupiter, the planet of good luck and expansion, entered your sign earlier this year and goes retrograde this month from November 11 until March 2026. What this means for you and your life is that you will be discovering spiritual guidance in new, unexpected places. You may feel like life moves a little more slowly under this energy, but this is needed in order for you to truly understand where an expansion and new perspective are needed in your world.
Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in a fellow water sign, and your heart gets a chance at a new beginning.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a month of progress, Leo. You are thinking a lot about the future right now and what’s ahead of you, and are making the necessary plans to bring your dreams to fruition. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, goals, and reputation as you begin the month, you are really showing up and allowing yourself to be met with success. You are inspired by what is possible for you in life in November and are making the efforts necessary to meet your goals halfway.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in Cancer, and what this means for you is a need to take a step back and focus on your healing. When Jupiter entered Cancer earlier this year, you saw a lot of the gifts that have come from closure and emotional renewal, and with this planet now retrograde, you are getting more into the nitty-gritty of healing and what tough decisions you may need to make to do so.
On November 20, we have a New Moon in your 4th house of family and foundations, and you are getting the opportunity to rebuild, connect with loved ones, and feel more secure in the present moment.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about finding your balance between moving forward when you feel ready to and taking the necessary time to plan your next steps ahead, Virgo. With a Supermoon in a fellow earth sign to begin the month, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and you are feeling inspired by what is presenting itself. You are moving through November with confidence and conviction, and your eyes are opening to what spaces you want to be in and what people you want to meet along the way.
Your ruling planet, Mercury, goes retrograde this month, and it’s all about taking time within communication matters and new developments in the home.
Ask yourself what stability, safety, and clarity mean to you right now, and be prepared to let go and create the necessary space in your life to receive that. At the end of the month, we have a New Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this New Moon highlights your communication strengths and interests, and also brings some new people and experiences into your life.
Overall, although we have a lot of retrogrades this month, you are not letting them stop you and are overcoming and moving forward in November.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is your month of abundance, Libra. Venus, your ruling planet, is in your 2nd house of income, values, and self-worth, and you are owning who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you deserve in your life. This is a month of seeing your intentions come to fruition, and progress is made regarding your finances and the plans you have set for yourself here this year. This is your month of owning your efforts and intentions, and knowing you deserve the good that is presenting itself to you right now.
With a Supermoon taking place in your 8th house this month, which rules your shared finances, support is coming in for you, and you have a lot of opportunities to make new gains and to see the gifts of some of the relationships and commitments in your world. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in your 2nd house of income, and it’s the time to create new intentions for yourself here, and you can do so with some added strength and confidence by what has already come to fruition or you this month.
Positive changes are in store for you, and you have the Midas Touch in November.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio Season is here, and you are shining, Scorpio. November is a month of feeling balanced, loved, and abundant, and like you are in the perfect position to find gratitude and own what blessings are ahead of you. We have a Supermoon in your sister sign to begin the month, providing you with the insight needed to see the love in your life with more clarity, and to gain some closure within relationship dynamics that have felt confusing for you as of late.
Venus also enters your sign at the beginning of the month, even further amplifying the energy of love in your life and the sense that you are truly recognizing how loved you are.
Mercury retrograde enters your sign on November 18, and you may need to redirect more of your energy within. Use this opportunity to gain more guidance on yourself, your path, and your goals, and remember to give yourself a little more compassion during this time. Before the month closes out, we have a New Moon in Scorpio on November 20, and this is a powerful time for seeing your manifestations appear. A New Moon in Scorpio is enlightening, and you are owning your passions, your self-confidence in life, and what new doors are opening for you now.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is all about owning your power and not counting yourself out, Sagittarius. This month is about lifting your head and remembering who you are and what matters to you in life. Mars enters your sign as we begin the month, and this is powerful energy for direction, new beginnings, and inspiration, but you may also be feeling some combative energy in your life in the midst of it all.
With Mercury also going retrograde in your sign for a little over a week, be careful with getting ahead of yourself right now, and take your time with things by knowing that you are supported and your dreams are coming to fruition in due time.
Sagittarius Season officially begins on November 21, and you feel more of the strength in your life as you close out the month. With Venus also moving into Sagittarius on November 30, a lot of the self-doubts you were having at the beginning of the month are long behind you now, and you finally get to see more of the progress you have been making in your world.
Overall, this month is about balancing patience with conviction and knowing that what is meant for you will not pass you by.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are making strides this month, Capricorn. November is a month of victory, progress, and achievement, and you are owning what you have been building in your world. You begin the month with a Supermoon in your 11th house of hopes and dreams, and this is a beautiful time for seeing your intentions appear and things looking even better than you had expected them to. The universe really wants to show you how loved and cherished you are this month, and will be giving you plenty of signs to show that to you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your opposite sign mid-month until February of next year, and during this time, you will be able to revitalize some of your close partnerships and gain more clarity on what you need to feel more safe and inspired here. You may feel like some relationship dynamics are more up in the air than you are used to, but this is necessary for you to really see what and who you want to commit to long-term.
Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Saturn, goes direct in your 3rd house of communication after being retrograde since July, and you are taking a deep breath, getting the answers you have been looking for, and finding your peace this month.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleNovember is a new beginning for you, Aquarius. You are setting new intentions and focusing a lot on your career and financial world this month. The month begins with a Supermoon in your 10th house of career, and you are seeing the fruition of some of the developments you have made in this area of your life over the past month. A lot of opportunities are coming to the surface for you, and you deserve to feel abundance, support, and clarity in the world.
This month is about owning who you are, your gifts, and what efforts you have made to live the life of your dreams.
Mid-month, Jupiter goes retrograde in an area of your life that rules your daily routine and working environment, and you are making a lot of changes in your world. Your career and work-life get a revamp this month and for the rest of the year in general, and this is happening so that you can increase your earnings while also feeling better about what you are doing daily. As we end November, Saturn goes direct in your 2nd house of income and earnings after being retrograde since July, which is even further increasing the abundance in your world.
Overall, you are claiming your successes and doing what is necessary to feel good within.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleDreams come true and miracles are possible for you this month, Pisces. November is about opening your mind to everything you can experience in your world, and about being a magnet for your desires by being open to it all. Venus is in your house of inspiration, adventure, and travel this month, and you are meeting love in unexpected places. You are feeling more of the magic in your world in November overall and are being met with the beauty you create around you.
Jupiter goes retrograde in your 5th house of romance mid-month, allowing you to gain more clarity in matters of the heart and to reveal what joy means to you and what and who you want around you to feel more stable happiness and less shake-ups in your world. Saturn goes direct in Pisces on November 27, before the month ends, and this is really a ground-breaking moment for you.
With Saturn now direct and in Pisces until February 2026, you are following your dreams, laying down new foundations in your life, and feeling like things are finally lining up for you.
November is about owning the magic you create in your world, Pisces.
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