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Here's Your Sex Style, Based On Astrology

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Horoscopes

Astrology can reveal a lot of deep information about the inner workings of yourself and others. But did you know that it could also reveal your sexual style? Whether you like spontaneous sex, kinky sex, rough sex, or soulful sex, your unique astrology placements can reveal the specifics of your sex M.O. It also can reveal what you find sexually attractive in your partner and in their approach to sex. Do you like to be pursued or do you like to be the aggressor? Do you like a subtle, polite approach to sex, or do you want him to "beat it up"?


Knowing your specific astrological "sex" placements and those of your partner can save you a lot of time and heartache by predicting your sexual compatibility - or incompatibility - with a love interest. There are specific placements to look for when trying to determine someone's sexual style.

I highly recommend creating an account with Astro.com (or Co–Star) in figuring out the following:

  1. Mars Sign: A person's Mars sign reveals, among other things, how they express their sexual urges and how they go about achieving their deepest passions and yearnings. It reveals what they want and how they go about getting it!
  2. House placement of Mars: Where a person's Mars sign is placed can hint at *where* and under what circumstances they may subconsciously like to express their sexual energy.
  3. Asteroid Placements: Knowing the placements of specific asteroids like the "Lust", "Lillith," "Eros" and Juno Asteroids (among others) can reveal your sexual triggers and what really gets you off about the sexual act.

The simplest and most straightforward way to determine your sex style is by looking at your Mars sign. Your Mars sign reveals much, much more about your sex style than your Sun sign. For example, your Sun sign can make you appear more outwardly prude or reserved than you actually are behind closed doors - and vice versa! Here's what your Mars sign reveals about your sex style:

Mars In Aries

You are direct, spontaneous and instinctual. You enjoy active, unrestricted and fiery sex. You are not into playing mind games. If you are interested in someone, you don't mind and won't hesitate to go after what you want.

Most Compatible With: Sagittarius, Leo and Libra Mars

Mars In Taurus

You have a deep, earthy, tactile sensuality. You express your desire through tons of physical affection. You like to take the time to figure out exactly what stimulates your partner and you fulfill their biggest fantasies and sexual turn-ons slowly and steadily. Sex with you is ground-shattering and nourishing to the soul.

Most Compatible With: Capricorn, Virgo and Scorpio Mars

Mars In Gemini

You express your desire and sexual energy through words. You are all about dirty talk. Mental stimulation is key for you. You love variety and to switch things up in the bedroom.

Most Compatible With: Libra, Aquarius, and Sagittarius Mars

Mars In Cancer

You crave soulful and intuitive sex. Sex and emotions are a package deal for you. You are not necessarily the no-strings attached type - you love to nurture and care for your partner inside and outside of the bedroom. Sexually, you like to play into masculine and feminine stereotypes.

Most Compatible With: Scorpio, Pisces and Capricorn Mars

Mars In Leo

You pride yourself on being the most memorable sex your partner has ever had. You will pull out all the stops necessary to create a mind-blowing experience. You have no tolerance for being disrespected, sexually or otherwise.

Most Compatible With: Aries, Aquarius, and Sagittarius Mars

Mars In Virgo

You aim to please! You often put your partner's needs ahead of your own. You are extremely turned on by their orgasm and all it takes to get them there. If your partner is not fully enjoying sex, it's impossible for you to enjoy it either. Good hygiene is incredibly important to you.

Most Compatible With: Capricorn, Taurus and Pisces Mars

Mars In Libra 

You go above and beyond in setting the mood for your partner, creating an ambient and visually appealing experience. Sexually, you are happy to follow your partner's lead. You are adventurous, playful and up for everything.

Most Compatible With: Aries, Aquarius and Gemini Mars

Mars In Scorpio

It is quite easy for your partner to become addicted to sex with you and vice versa. Sex for you isn't only a physical act, it's an extremely deep mental, emotional and spiritual energy exchange. Whether you realize it or not, you use sex to penetrate your partner's mind, heart and soul. You love pushing boundaries sexually and are drawn to taboos and BDSM dynamics. You enjoy kinky, soulful sex.

Most Compatible With: Pisces, Cancer and Taurus Mars

Mars In Sagittarius

You enjoy adventurous sex and sex games. You are direct and aren't afraid to beat around the bush when it comes to what you want sexually. You love to challenge yourself and your partner during sex.

Most Compatible With: Aries, Leo and Gemini Mars

Mars In Capricorn 

You strive to be the best in everything and sex is no different. You will put in the work to figure out the most enjoyable sexual experience for your partner. You have the patience and steady determination to blow your partner's mind. Your partners are often surprised by how sexually intense you are. You're the epitome of "a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets".

Most Compatible With: Taurus, Virgo and Cancer Mars

Mars In Aquarius

You don't enjoy boring, uninnovative sex. You hate overly cliche or romantic gestures. You are attracted to intelligent, unconventional, bold and somewhat rebellious sexual partners. You enjoy taboo sex. You are the sapiosexual of the zodiac.

Most Compatible With: Libra, Gemini, and Leo Mars

Mars In Pisces

You are attracted to the underdog. You can easily become addicted to devil d*ck! If you are not careful, you may find yourself drawn to fuckboys and hobosexuals because of the deep empathy you have in them. You are completely selfless and self-sacrificing sexually - you intuitively know what turns your partner on and will go the extra mile to make sure they get there. They are amazed by how much you are willing to give and push your boundaries sexually.

Most Compatible With: Virgo, Cancer, and Scorpio Mars

So, what's your Mars sign?

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You may not know her by Elisabeth Ovesen – writer and host of the love, sex and relationships advice podcast Asking for a Friend. But you definitely know her other alter ego, Karrine Steffans, the New York Times best-selling author who lit up the literary and entertainment world when she released what she called a “tell some” memoir, Confessions of a Video Vixen.

Her 2005 barn-burning book gave an inside look at the seemingly glamorous world of being a video vixen in the ‘90s and early 2000s, and exposed the industry’s culture of abuse, intimidation, and misogyny years before the Me Too Movement hit the mainstream. Her follow-up books, The Vixen Diaries (2007) and The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce And Keep The Man You Want (2009) all topped the New York Times best-seller list. After a long social media break, she's back. xoNecole caught up with Ovesen about the impact of her groundbreaking book, what life is like for her now, and why she was never “before her time”– everyone else was just late to the revolution.

xoNecole: Tell me about your new podcast Asking for a Friend with Elisabeth Ovesen and how that came about.

Elisabeth Ovesen: I have a friend who is over [at Blavity] and he just asked me if I wanted to do something with him. And that's just kinda how it happened. It wasn't like some big master plan. Somebody over there was like, “Hey, we need content. We want to do this podcast. Can you do it?” And I was like, “Sure.” And that's that. That was around the holidays and so we started working on it.

xoNecole: Your life and work seem incredibly different from when you first broke out on the scene. Can you talk a bit about the change in your career and how your life is now?

EO: Not that different. I mean my life is very different, of course, but my work isn't really that different. My life is different, of course, because I'm 43. My career started when I was in my 20s, so we're looking at almost 20 years since the beginning of my career. So, naturally life has changed a lot since then.

I don’t think my career has changed a whole lot – not as far as my writing is concerned, and my stream of consciousness with my writing, and my concerns and the subject matter hasn’t changed much. I've always written about interpersonal relationships, sexual shame, male ego fragility, respectability politics – things like that. I always put myself in the center of that to make those points, which I think were greatly missed when I first started writing. I think that society has changed quite a bit. People are more aware. People tell me a lot that I have always been “before my time.” I was writing about things before other people were talking about that; I was concerned about things before my generation seemed to be concerned about things. I wasn't “before my time.” I think it just seems that way to people who are late to the revolution, you know what I mean?

I retired from publishing in 2015, which was always the plan to do 10 years and retire. I was retired from my pen name and just from the business in general in 2015, I could focus on my business, my education and other things, my family. I came back to writing in 2020 over at Medium. The same friend that got me into the podcast, actually as the vice president of content over at Medium and was like, “Hey, we need some content.” I guess I’m his go-to content creator.

xoNecole: Can you expound on why you went back to your birth name versus your stage name?

EO: No, it was nothing to expound upon. I mean, writers have pen names. That’s like asking Diddy, why did he go by Sean? I didn't go back. I've always used that. Nobody was paying attention. I've never not been myself. Karrine Steffans wrote a certain kind of book for a certain kind of audience. She was invented for the urban audience, particularly. She was never meant to live more than 10 years. I have other pen names as well. I write under several names. So, the other ones are just nobody's business right now. Different pen names write different things. And Elisabeth isn’t my real name either. So you'll never know who I really am and you’ll never know what my real name is, because part of being a writer is, for me at least, keeping some sort of anonymity. Anything I do in entertainment is going to amass quite a bit because who I am as a person in my private life isn't the same a lot of times as who I am publicly.

xoNecole: I want to go back to when you published Confessions of a Video Vixen. We are now in this time where people are reevaluating how the media mistreated women in the spotlight in the 2000s, namely women like Britney Spears. So I’d be interested to hear how you feel about that period of your life and how you were treated by the media?

EO: What I said earlier. I think that much of society has evolved quite a bit. When you look back at that time, it was actually shocking how old-fashioned the thinking still was. How women were still treated and how they're still treated now. I mean, it hasn't changed completely. I think that especially for the audience, I think it was shocking for them to see a woman – a woman of color – not be sexually ashamed.

I hate being like other people. I don't want to do what anyone else is doing. I can't conform. I will not conform. I think in 2005 when Confessions was published, that attitude, especially about sex, was very upsetting. Number one, it was upsetting to the men, especially within urban and hip-hop culture, which is built on misogyny and thrives off of it to this day. And the women who protect these men, I think, you know, addressing a demographic that is rooted in trauma that is rooted in sexual shame, trauma, slavery of all kinds, including slavery of the mind – I think it triggered a lot of people to see a Black woman be free in this way.

I think it said a lot about the people who were upset by it. And then there were some in “crossover media,” a lot of white folks were upset too, not gonna lie. But to see it from Black women – Tyra Banks was really upset [when she interviewed me about Confessions in 2005]. Oprah wasn't mad [when she interviewed me]. As long as Oprah wasn’t mad, I was good. I didn't care what anybody else had to say. Oprah was amazing. So, watching Black women defend men, and Black women who had a platform, defend the sexual blackmailing of men: “If you don't do this with me, you won't get this job”; “If you don't do this in my trailer, you're going to have to leave the set”– these are things that I dealt with.

I just happened to be the kind of woman who, because I was a single mother raising my child all by myself and never got any help at all – which I still don't. Like, I'm 24 in college – not a cheap college either – one of the best colleges in the country, and I'm still taking care of him all by myself as a 21-year-old, 20-year-old, young, single mother with no family and no support – I wasn’t about to say no to something that could help me feed my son for a month or two or three.

xoNecole: We are in this post-Me Too climate where women in Hollywood have come forward to talk about the powerful men who have abused them. In the music industry in particular, it seems nearly impossible for any substantive change or movement to take place within music. It's only now after three decades of allegations that R. Kelly has finally been convicted and other men like Russell Simmons continue to roam free despite the multiple allegations against him. Why do you think it's hard for the music industry to face its reckoning?

EO: That's not the music industry, that's urban music. That’s just Black folks who make music and nobody cares about that. That's the thing; nobody cares...Nobody cares. It's not the music industry. It's just an "urban" thing. And when I say "urban," I say that in quotations. Literally, it’s a Black thing, where nobody gives a shit what Black people do to Black people. And Russell didn't go on unchecked, he just had enough money to keep it quiet. But you know, anytime you're dealing with Black women being disrespected, especially by Black men, nobody gives a shit.

And Black people don't police themselves so it doesn't matter. Why should anybody care? And Black women don't care. They'll buy an R. Kelly album right now. They’ll stream that shit right now. They don’t care. So, nobody cares. Nobody cares. And if you're not going to police yourself, then nobody's ever going to care.

xoNecole: Do you have any regrets about anything you wrote or perhaps something you may have omitted?

EO: Absolutely not. No. There's nothing that I wish I would've gone back and said to myself, no. I don’t think at 20-something years old, I'm supposed to understand every little thing. I don't think the 20-something-year-old woman is supposed to understand the world and know exactly what she's doing. I think that one of my biggest regrets, which isn't my regret, but a regret, is that I didn't have better parents. Because a 20-something only knows what she knows based on what she’s seen and what she’s been taught and what she’s told. I had shitty parents and a horrible family. Just terrible. These people had no business having children. None of them. And a lot of our families are like that. And we may pass down those familial curses.

*This interview has been edited and condensed

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Feature image courtesy of Elisabeth Ovesen

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