Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
Ladies, I don't know about you, but when I see other women making their coin and a name for themselves through their passions, it just makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Especially when those women spread the wealth of knowledge to help other women earn extra income and secure all of the bags in the process. Contrary to popular belief, there is enough to eat sis, so we can all have a seat at the table. Lyn Allure, founder of Good Girls Gone Boss, is someone who believes that it pays to pay it forward.
The Toronto-based entrepreneur took advantage of the power of the internet and has been able to create multiple streams of income by changing her mindset around money and educating other women on how it's done. With a background in finance, Lyn used her experience in corporate and her bachelor's in Business Administration to jump-start her journey into entrepreneurship. Since leaving her corporate job seven years ago, Lyn has been able to harness the power of the internet to spearhead successful online businesses, including a successful YouTube channel.
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
In July 2020, Lyn launched her online platform Good Girls Gone Boss. She explained its inception, "I started Good Girls Gone Boss as a solution for other entrepreneurial-minded women to connect and share gems along this business journey. When I first started making money on social media and growing my brand, it was a very isolating process. I was in my own little world most of the time. None of my friends were into social media at the time, but I knew I had an interest in YouTube and I saw the potential there."
Lyn continued, "I thought to myself, 'If I can turn a fun hobby into more money, then why not?' So I had to learn how to do things on my own, like how to inquire about brand deals, tips for Google AdSense, affiliate links, etc. After I started to see the money coming in, I thought it would be helpful to really make this community with Good Girls Gone Boss because I figured other women felt isolated as well."
As a solution and a resource, Good Girls Gone Boss offers weekly YouTube videos surrounding personal finance tips, an exclusive community that includes hands-on support and trainings, and financial resources such as a budget workbook. The platform is a space for a community of unapologetically, ambitious bosses who are looking to design, plan, and execute their dream life.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with Lyn Allure about how normalizing financial literacy, staying humble, and making your money work for you are the keys to creating financial freedom.
On the definitions of wealth and success:
"With wealth, I believe that aligns with being financially free. To be able to live a quality of life without worrying about if you can afford it or not. I also consider someone being wealthy by the company they keep. You are only as wealthy as the people around you; whether that means helping your friends to get to your level if they are struggling, or passing down wealth for future generations.
"Now, with success, to me, is simply happiness. Not just being content, but being proud of yourself for where you are in life and in a state of bliss. We know success can be different for different people. Success can mean making six figures for some people and for others, it has nothing to do with money at all. Whatever success may mean to you, it should definitely include happiness."
On unhealthy mindsets about money she had to let go of:
"One thing for me was, the idea [that you have] to spend money to make money. You know that saying, 'scared money, don't make money'? That is absolutely true (laughs). I grew up in the hood, so I thought the best mindset about money was to make a lot of it and then save a lot of it. But the reality is, it is not just about how much money you make. It's about how much money you make and how much you invest in order to make more. When you invest, now you have equity and assets that produce income for you. I had to really change my mentality with money early on, in order to get to where I am right now."
"The reality is, it is not just about how much money you make. It's about how much money you make and how much you invest in order to make more. When you invest, now you have equity and assets that produce income for you."
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
On her investments:
"Right now, I have two main investments. My first investment is a single-family home investment property with tenants. I currently reside in a condo because I have no desire to live in a single-family home for myself. I am not going to be mowing the lawn or doing those other things (laughs). But with my property, I am thinking about renovating the basement and renting that out as well. My second investment is stocks. I try to invest in stocks on a regular basis with buying index funds and stocks in companies I truly believe in."
On her biggest tip to beginner investors:
"Something that people often think, is that we need to be involved in the finance field 24/7 in order to be a successful investor. That's honestly not the case. If you put money away periodically or every month into an index fund or an ETF, it appreciates. You will be able to see a 7-10% return on that every year. This way is low effort and it's definitely better than just putting your money away into a savings account."
On the worst money-related advice she has ever received:
"That scarcity mindset around 'don't spend your money because you don't know when you are going to get it back' needs to be thrown out the window (laughs). There is an abundance of money out there and it's really about reframing your mindset around it. A phrase I like to follow is 'a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow.' So for example, if I am holding on to $10,000 in my savings without putting [it] into an investment opportunity, in 10 years that $10,000 will be worth around $9,000. The money loses its value. You have to treat your money like an employee and let it work for you."
"There is an abundance of money out there and it's really about reframing your mindset around it. A phrase I like to follow is 'a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow.' You have to treat your money like an employee and let it work for you."
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
On the money mantra she swears by:
"I would say my mantra is 'what doesn't get measured, doesn't get managed.' What I mean by that is, a lot of people do not know what their financial standing is. It can bring up so much anxiety for people because they don't want to face those hard facts of their spending habits. But I find that once you get over that hurdle and really know what your hard-earned numbers are, you realize what steps you need to take to improve it. It's important to manage your money no matter what financial state you might be in. But remember you can't manage it if you aren't measuring it."
On the early challenges that came with starting her business:
"The inconsistency of cash flow when you first start out is real (laughs). I remember one month I made five figures and then the next month I made three figures. I was like ummm, what's going on here? (Laughs) I definitely wasn't prepared for it at the time. But luckily, I referred back to what I preach to my Good Girls Gone Boss community. Do not rely on one stream of income. Think of it as a table. Every single leg is a stream of income. If you only have one leg, then if it collapses, you collapse too."
"Do not rely on one stream of income. Think of it as a table. Every single leg is a stream of income. If you only have one leg, then if it collapses, you collapse too."
On the most important lesson she's learned about creating wealth:
"I have always had this hustler mindset where I had multiple side hustles in college. So I have always been thinking to myself, 'Where's the next job and where's the next check?' (Laughs) But what I have learned is that, I do not need to have multiple jobs in order to make all this money. It is not the key to creating wealth or financial freedom.
"There are only 24 hours in a day. Finding a way to make those passive streams of income with a business has definitely been an eye-opener for me. You also do not need to make a certain amount of money in order to make passive streams of income for yourself. Whatever your salary is, you can still make things happen, especially on the internet."
Read more money mindset conversations in xoNecole's "Money Talks" series here.
For more about Lyn Allure, follow her on Instagram @lyn.allure. You can also subscribe to her YouTube channel here.
Featured image courtesy of Lyn Allure
- How I Paid Off $40K In Debt In 2 Years - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- How To Make Money Online, Ways To Earn Income - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Turn A Hobby Into A Business - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
Take Our 2-Minute Wellness Quiz To Up Your Self-Care Game!
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images