Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
Ladies, I don't know about you, but when I see other women making their coin and a name for themselves through their passions, it just makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Especially when those women spread the wealth of knowledge to help other women earn extra income and secure all of the bags in the process. Contrary to popular belief, there is enough to eat sis, so we can all have a seat at the table. Lyn Allure, founder of Good Girls Gone Boss, is someone who believes that it pays to pay it forward.
The Toronto-based entrepreneur took advantage of the power of the internet and has been able to create multiple streams of income by changing her mindset around money and educating other women on how it's done. With a background in finance, Lyn used her experience in corporate and her bachelor's in Business Administration to jump-start her journey into entrepreneurship. Since leaving her corporate job seven years ago, Lyn has been able to harness the power of the internet to spearhead successful online businesses, including a successful YouTube channel.
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
In July 2020, Lyn launched her online platform Good Girls Gone Boss. She explained its inception, "I started Good Girls Gone Boss as a solution for other entrepreneurial-minded women to connect and share gems along this business journey. When I first started making money on social media and growing my brand, it was a very isolating process. I was in my own little world most of the time. None of my friends were into social media at the time, but I knew I had an interest in YouTube and I saw the potential there."
Lyn continued, "I thought to myself, 'If I can turn a fun hobby into more money, then why not?' So I had to learn how to do things on my own, like how to inquire about brand deals, tips for Google AdSense, affiliate links, etc. After I started to see the money coming in, I thought it would be helpful to really make this community with Good Girls Gone Boss because I figured other women felt isolated as well."
As a solution and a resource, Good Girls Gone Boss offers weekly YouTube videos surrounding personal finance tips, an exclusive community that includes hands-on support and trainings, and financial resources such as a budget workbook. The platform is a space for a community of unapologetically, ambitious bosses who are looking to design, plan, and execute their dream life.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with Lyn Allure about how normalizing financial literacy, staying humble, and making your money work for you are the keys to creating financial freedom.
On the definitions of wealth and success:
"With wealth, I believe that aligns with being financially free. To be able to live a quality of life without worrying about if you can afford it or not. I also consider someone being wealthy by the company they keep. You are only as wealthy as the people around you; whether that means helping your friends to get to your level if they are struggling, or passing down wealth for future generations.
"Now, with success, to me, is simply happiness. Not just being content, but being proud of yourself for where you are in life and in a state of bliss. We know success can be different for different people. Success can mean making six figures for some people and for others, it has nothing to do with money at all. Whatever success may mean to you, it should definitely include happiness."
On unhealthy mindsets about money she had to let go of:
"One thing for me was, the idea [that you have] to spend money to make money. You know that saying, 'scared money, don't make money'? That is absolutely true (laughs). I grew up in the hood, so I thought the best mindset about money was to make a lot of it and then save a lot of it. But the reality is, it is not just about how much money you make. It's about how much money you make and how much you invest in order to make more. When you invest, now you have equity and assets that produce income for you. I had to really change my mentality with money early on, in order to get to where I am right now."
"The reality is, it is not just about how much money you make. It's about how much money you make and how much you invest in order to make more. When you invest, now you have equity and assets that produce income for you."
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
On her investments:
"Right now, I have two main investments. My first investment is a single-family home investment property with tenants. I currently reside in a condo because I have no desire to live in a single-family home for myself. I am not going to be mowing the lawn or doing those other things (laughs). But with my property, I am thinking about renovating the basement and renting that out as well. My second investment is stocks. I try to invest in stocks on a regular basis with buying index funds and stocks in companies I truly believe in."
On her biggest tip to beginner investors:
"Something that people often think, is that we need to be involved in the finance field 24/7 in order to be a successful investor. That's honestly not the case. If you put money away periodically or every month into an index fund or an ETF, it appreciates. You will be able to see a 7-10% return on that every year. This way is low effort and it's definitely better than just putting your money away into a savings account."
On the worst money-related advice she has ever received:
"That scarcity mindset around 'don't spend your money because you don't know when you are going to get it back' needs to be thrown out the window (laughs). There is an abundance of money out there and it's really about reframing your mindset around it. A phrase I like to follow is 'a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow.' So for example, if I am holding on to $10,000 in my savings without putting [it] into an investment opportunity, in 10 years that $10,000 will be worth around $9,000. The money loses its value. You have to treat your money like an employee and let it work for you."
"There is an abundance of money out there and it's really about reframing your mindset around it. A phrase I like to follow is 'a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow.' You have to treat your money like an employee and let it work for you."
Courtesy of Lyn Allure
On the money mantra she swears by:
"I would say my mantra is 'what doesn't get measured, doesn't get managed.' What I mean by that is, a lot of people do not know what their financial standing is. It can bring up so much anxiety for people because they don't want to face those hard facts of their spending habits. But I find that once you get over that hurdle and really know what your hard-earned numbers are, you realize what steps you need to take to improve it. It's important to manage your money no matter what financial state you might be in. But remember you can't manage it if you aren't measuring it."
On the early challenges that came with starting her business:
"The inconsistency of cash flow when you first start out is real (laughs). I remember one month I made five figures and then the next month I made three figures. I was like ummm, what's going on here? (Laughs) I definitely wasn't prepared for it at the time. But luckily, I referred back to what I preach to my Good Girls Gone Boss community. Do not rely on one stream of income. Think of it as a table. Every single leg is a stream of income. If you only have one leg, then if it collapses, you collapse too."
"Do not rely on one stream of income. Think of it as a table. Every single leg is a stream of income. If you only have one leg, then if it collapses, you collapse too."
On the most important lesson she's learned about creating wealth:
"I have always had this hustler mindset where I had multiple side hustles in college. So I have always been thinking to myself, 'Where's the next job and where's the next check?' (Laughs) But what I have learned is that, I do not need to have multiple jobs in order to make all this money. It is not the key to creating wealth or financial freedom.
"There are only 24 hours in a day. Finding a way to make those passive streams of income with a business has definitely been an eye-opener for me. You also do not need to make a certain amount of money in order to make passive streams of income for yourself. Whatever your salary is, you can still make things happen, especially on the internet."
Read more money mindset conversations in xoNecole's "Money Talks" series here.
For more about Lyn Allure, follow her on Instagram @lyn.allure. You can also subscribe to her YouTube channel here.
Featured image courtesy of Lyn Allure
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Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
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LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
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LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
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ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
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SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
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CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
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AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
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PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
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You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
You know, back when I wrote the article, “7 Signs You Have A Toxic Relationship...With Yourself,” one of the things that I said (and wholeheartedly believe) is people who refuse to take accountability for the things that they say and do can be quite dangerous — unhealthy, unsafe, unstable — to be around. Because if you refuse to own your ish, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll repeat it — and others will have to keep suffering (or enduring or tolerating), one way or another, as a direct result.
A business broker by the name of Steven Denn once said, “You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, it's a choice.” And although we could honestly just take up a collection and end the article there, if you’re someone who has fallen victim to someone who calls choices “mistakes” and/or you’re someone who mixes those two words around and never really realized how problematic doing so can be — let’s discuss what a mistake is, what a choice is and how it does no one any good to not know the difference between the two.
Y’all, This Is What It Means to Make a Mistake
GiphyIf you were to look up the definitions of the word mistake, you’re probably going to find something that says something along the lines of “an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.” or “a misunderstanding or misconception.” Some synonyms for mistake include words like confusion, miscalculation, omission, delusion, and misinterpretation.
To me, what all of this means is, when someone makes a mistake, there is usually a lot of ignorance involved and ignorance is about not having enough information or the proper training before making a certain decision.
Back when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national nonprofit organization, some of “my daughters” (which is what I would call my assigned students, for a few different reasons) would try and tell — more like attempt to convince — me that getting pregnant was a mistake. Listen, I once had a daughter whose mom shared her boyfriend with her (yes, literally). I had another daughter whose mom would take her to jail to visit the guy who beat up on her. I had another daughter whose mom and aunt once came to the school to fight a girl on her behalf. SMDH.
So, when it comes to being properly taught about their value, the purpose of sex, and why they should choose their partner’s wisely — I absolutely believe that they were ignorant…and in that realm, having sex (prematurely) was probably a mistake. Getting pregnant, though? Most of them admitted that they had some sort of sex education class prior to becoming sexually active, that they were introduced to birth control methods and, when it came to condoms, specifically, they had access to them and knew how to use them. So, going raw? Was that a mistake or a choice?
And since we all know the consequences of going raw — is getting pregnant without using birth control a mistake or a choice? I mean, I guess we could factor in the carelessness part of the definition of mistake; HOWEVER, to be careless is to be reckless and negligent — and honestly, when you have the information about the pros and cons of something and you ignore that information, again…is that a mistake or a choice?
Now watch how counterproductive at best, risky, and unsafe at worst, it is to say that being careless is a mistake — many of my daughters had more than one child, even before graduating from high school. Why? Well, since they determined in their mind that their first pregnancy was a mistake, they didn’t really take accountability for being careless and so, they ended up repeating the acts that caused them to conceive their first child because if they didn’t have to own what they did the first time, why not do it the second, third or fourth? SMDH. Since it’s all a mistake, they decided that they didn’t really play a role in what goes on in their world. To them, things just…happen. Lies. THE LIES YOU TELL.
In this life, are there things that happen that are beyond your control? Absolutely. Don’t get it twisted, though: reportedly, we all make somewhere around 33,000-35,000 choices a day, choices are the power to select from a set of options, and, more times than not, we have enough information to know which option is better than the other ones that are before us.
Take a friend of mine who, at her big age, I can’t believe how often she runs out of gas. I mean, for years, it’s been the case that she will not only drive around with the gas light on, but she will also tell herself that she has enough gas to get home…only to run out miles away from it. Not every once in a while — a few times a year. And what does she call constantly doing that? A mistake.
How in the world could it be when you know, from experience no less, that your options are (for instance) to put gas in the car well before the light comes on (personally, I try to keep mine at no less than half of a tank andcar experts say that it should never be less than a quarter of a tank full — because you never know) because you’ve run out of gas before? You don’t have insufficient knowledge about this. You are not confused. You are being careless yet being negligent is still a conscious choice.
Now if her gas gauge was broken, it hadn’t been over a week since she went to a gas station and she ran out? That is a mistake — because she didn’t have the information that she needed to make a wise decision. She also did the best she could with what she did know.
And that’s what we need to keep in mind.
An unintentional action is a mistake. Doing something that is rooted in ignorance (although some people choose to remain ignorant because the information is quite accessible to them, so they don’t qualify for this particular point) is a mistake. Being confused about something, moving forward, and it going “left” — that could possibly be a mistake (although doing something when you’re confused about it is potentially chaotic within itself). Because, in all of these instances, you didn’t have the intel that you needed to make a more optimal choice.
Here's what’s wild about what I just said though: More times than not, if it is indeed a genuine mistake, because you are treating it as the actual definition of the word, you will typically choose to learn from it and then avoid making the same mistake again — because it was an actual mistake and self-aware and mature individuals don’t want to do something that they learned wasn’t good to or right for them (and/or others) over and over again. The mistake has already cost them enough.
On the other hand, folks who are just reckless and irresponsible out here? They aren’t making mistakes — they just want to call it that to make it sound better than what is really going on: being harmful as hell…to themselves and probably those who are around them…with as little consequences as possible because they want the pity and passes that oftentimes come when people make…mistakes.
Now, This Is What It Means to Make a Choice
GiphyOn the other hand, this is what it means to make a choice — a choice is about choosing, and choosing is about “selecting from a number of possibilities.” Another definition for choosing is to have a particular want or a desire. Now for people who do irresponsible stuff, all the while calling it a mistake, what they are essentially saying is they don’t have a set of options to make a better decision — yet how can that possibly be true?
Take a couple of clients that I used to have. One of the things that we continued to go round and around about is the wife’s horrendous spending habits. Whenever she would disrespect the budget and buy stuff that she didn’t need, she would call doing so a “mistake.” How is it that when you and your husband discussed how money was to be allotted, what each of you could and could not spend money on each month, and what the rules were, should one of you want to get something that wasn’t in the budget for the month?
Nah sis, you decided that you wanted something more than the peace of your household and so you made the choice to disregard the boundaries and commit financial infidelity (which yes, is absolutely a thing). You want to call it a mistake so that you can act like you weren’t making a conscious decision out of a list of options — and this means that you are telling yourself as well as your husband a bold-faced lie. You could’ve called him. You could’ve saved up. You could’ve waited. Instead, you decided to spend — that was a choice; nothing about it was a mistake.
Here's the thing, though — when you start using the word “choice” instead of “mistake,” isn’t it interesting how much it forces you to mature? That’s because you genuinely have to look yourself in the mirror (even if it’s life’s mirror) and own that, when it came to some really poor decisions that you made, you could’ve and should’ve chosen better — and you decided not to.
AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THAT.
Hmph. This takes me back to the person who I mentioned in the intro. There are so many things that they have done, habitually so, that they keep saying are mistakes. Don’t get me to cussin’ because you’ve done those things so often that you absolutely know that you are dead-ass wrong. Problem is, folks have let you slide so often and so much that you haven’t encountered enough consequences for your actions for you to stop doing the ish that you do and so, as I mentioned earlier, you would rather play the victim and say that you didn’t know any better, over and over again…when what really needs to happen is you need to grow TF up and take some personal accountability.
Which brings me to my next point…
People Who Call “Choices” Mistakes Usually Suck at Taking Personal Accountability
GiphyOver 30,000 choices a day. It really is a wild thing to wrap one’s head around when you really stop to think about it and yet, no wonder so many mental health experts say that our choices make up our reality. It can be something as simple as declaring that you are going to save money and yet you go out to eat for lunch at least three days a week and then DoorDash dinner another two. Now you don’t have enough money to put in your savings account every month. Are you making mistakes or poor choices?
Deciding to drive to a fast food restaurant, driving there, placing an order, pulling out your debit card, paying for the food — right there, you made four choices which gave you four different opportunities to change your mind. Blowing your budget wasn’t a mistake. You chose to do that. If you keep looking at it as a mistake, there’s a pretty good chance that you will never reach your financial goals because you will keep acting like money just keeps disappearing and there isn’t much that you can do about it.
Oh, but as someone who is aggressively saving up this year, take it from me — once you are willing to accept that where you are now is the direct result of your choices, it puts you into a mindset of knowing that you chose to be in your current state; that’s the “bad” news. The good news is you can also choose to get out of it. It will require making some changes, going through some growing pains, and enduring some sacrifices — yet as a wise person once said…in order to have something different, you must do things differently.
Folks who call everything a mistake don’t get this. Folks who grasp that their choices really do alter their lifestyle…they absolutely do. That’s because, rather than trying to avoid accepting that they need to own what they’ve done, they take full accountability — they acknowledge the specific things that they’ve done, they don’t try to deflect or excuse their actions, they don’t shift blame onto other people, they take clear and consistent steps to fix what they messed up and they don’t keep repeating the same actions. Know what else happens to accountable people?
They get that they don’t always get to choose their consequences — and they remain level-headed and gracious about that. They made the choice, they’ve gotta accept what comes with it.
The Role We Play in That Is Providing Consequences for Their So-Called Mistakes
GiphySomething that I mentioned, I believe more than once in the latest book that I wrote, is the fact that sometimes, you have to be willing to be someone’s consequence. What I mean by that is, there are some characters in that offering of mine who are HORRIBLE at taking personal accountability yet, because people never really give them any real consequences for their bad behavior — ones that they like to call mistakes that are actually not just choices but habits at this point — they just keep on doing what they want to do: railroading boundaries, gaslighting, acting like someone did something wrong to them whenever they are told that they are out of line.
And so, since they’ve been arrogantly delusional for so long and called what they are doing mistakes, they don’t really see why they should stop making them — it hasn’t cost them enough to stop making them. And that is why, after a couple of really disrespectful choices that they made at the hands of totally dishonoring my verbalized limits, I decided to be one of their consequences — meaning, if you refuse to make other choices, I refuse to be in your life. You are too unhealthy, unsafe, and unstable to be around for my own sake and, maybe, just maybe, this outcome, at the very least, will teach you to respect other people’s boundaries in the future.
I’ll give you another example. Recently, I saw a T-shirt that made me laugh. It simply said “IDFWPWFWPIDFW.” If you sit with it long enough, I think you’ll be able to figure it out. LOL. And while some folks might think that it’s juvenile to have that mindset, I dunno — I think that there are levels to things like that because, if you’ve got a friend and a person did some really damaging things to them and then you notice some side-eye stuff on your own, I’m not sure why you would want to sit in their lap. At the very least, seems like you’d want to move with some extreme caution. You can be cordial but “f-ck with them”…for what?
And with that, I will wind this down with one more story. I’ve got a friend who, before I even knew her or the guy (a guy who also is a character in my book, by the way), they went out on a date. The date was fine and so they mutually decided to schedule another one. Only, he shot her a blank. No show, no call, plus, he was actually quite flippant when she called him to see what was going on because he shared that he was bowling with some friends and he would talk to her later. Arrogant. Immature. Selfish. Fast forward to years later and — well, just read “The Nice Guy Narcissist” chapter of my book. Chile, as I was living out that chapter, there were times when she was so irritated with him.
When I would tell him, he would say things like, “[Insert name here] loves me. She’s not serious.” Yes, she was. So much in fact that, because she didn’t like how much trauma and drama that he seemed to nonstop cause, when he recently reached out to her on social media, she blocked him. She was fed up. Since knowing him, he had been a reckless person and she was at the point where she wanted him to really get that she didn’t want him in her life. Part of it was because she never really saw how any benefit outweighed the disadvantages in her own world. I’m pretty sure that another part of it is IDFWPWFWPIDFW — and since he had hurt me so much, that was “the icing” of why she was good on him.
Now, if he had treated both of us better — and hell, apologized for not doing so which is also something that he has never done; in fact, he’s someone who likes to play that victim role when his wrongdoings are brought up to him — she probably could help him out in some ways (work-wise). Oh well — that’s one of his consequences for not owning his ish. My moving on is another. Pretty sure karma will have some things in store for him too. Yeah, that’s one thing about seeing conscious choices as mistakes — if you don’t learn, life will make sure that you do…if not immediately, eventually…and oftentimes, life is not very kind.
Yeah, sometimes, the reality is that sometimes, we’ve gotta provide consequences for the people in our lives who are not self-aware enough, self-disciplined enough, self-reflective enough — shoot, HUMBLE ENOUGH to want to own their choices, so that they can make better ones. Sometimes we’ve got to dish out consequences that will cause them to at least pause and ponder over whether not taking accountability is worth the outcome(s) of not doing so.
Consequences are the result of choices — good and bad. Consequences teach us things so that we can (finally) learn.
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A late football player and coach by the name of Paul Bear Bryant once said, “When you make a mistake, there are only three things that you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” If this isn’t what’s going down…your “mistakes” aren’t mistakes — they are poor choices. It’s time to see it for what it is.
No wiggle room. Anymore.
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