Getting Down To Business With Larenz Tate
If there was anyone who could hold a master class in aging backwards it's Hollywood heartthrob Larenz Tate. Just one look at his timeless face is enough to have you scouring the internet for the secret of all secrets to his skincare routine. (By the way, it's: aloe vera, African Black soap, and Shea butter. You can thank me later.) The Chicago native has been making women everywhere swoon both on- and off-screen since the days of O-Dog and Darius Lovehall, and it doesn't seem like he has plans of letting up anytime soon.
And if you needed further proof of that, look no further than his latest indie film, Business Ethics. In it, Tate (who also doubles as Executive Producer) stars as Zachery Cranston--an ambitious and morally flawed hedge fund manager whose drive to be successful leaves him deaf and blind to the concept of ethics. Fresh out of business school, Cranston seems to have all the necessities to succeed in the finance world. That is, until his ambition lands him smack-dab in the middle of a dramatic, yet arguably illegal business opportunity that shapes up to shake the lives of everyone around him. "As we take the journey with this character, the main guy, he begins to find himself questioning, is this morally right?" Tate explains to xoNecole on a midweek afternoon. "It's something that I thought was kinda dope. Because rarely do I find scripts that come across my desk where you have a black man in the center of a predominantly white business that's dealing with financials."
He continues spiritedly, "I'm always looking for challenges. I see myself as a bit of a chameleon in terms of acting, [I want to do] a little bit of it all. And this speaks to the kinds of things that I want to do as a leading actor, as a leading male in a film."
We recently got the chance to catch up with the Power star about how he's been powering through the pandemic, the love legacy he hopes to leave behind, and how exactly he's been keeping things spicy in his marriage.
xoNecole: You've played a myriad of interesting characters over the course of your nearly 30-year career. So I’m curious: which character has been the closest to Larenz or has been your favorite?
Larenz Tate: For me, if I can just find or add a little bit of myself in each of the roles I play, in the character, then I've accomplished that. You got to put a personal touch on something, whether it's Menace [II Society], Dead Presidents, Love Jones, Why Do Fools Fall in Love, or currently the Power universe, in the spin-off show with Councilman Tate. I just try to find something that--whether you love or hate a character--I want to find human qualities that allow you to either relate to the person, or you don't want to take your eyes off the person and what they're doing. So if I can find ways to do that by bringing a little bit of my own personal touch to it or a lot of it, it's really good.
But, you mentioned what are some of my favorite characters. I think it's the movies themselves. I've been fortunate to have movies that become classics based off the fans and the quality. Take Love Jones, for instance. Such a great storyline, the characters are rich. It was refreshing to see something that we as Black folks hadn't seen before. And I think it was unique because Black people were telling the story. When we tell our stories, there's a level of authenticity that we bring to it if we are allowed to.
"When we tell our stories, there's a level of authenticity that we bring to it if we are allowed to."
I couldn’t agree more. You know Larenz, you always seem so joyful and full of good energy in almost everything I see concerning you. With the pandemic and everything going on, how have you been affected personally and mentally? If at all.
You know anytime I share interviews, my story or some of the things I want to talk about--obviously, I want to be able to inspire, to motivate through the conversations and the energy that I put out there. But by all means, I do find things to be challenging just as everyday folk that are dealing with this pandemic and a shutdown. And having to now alter what we're used to doing in our everyday lives, it's a bit of a challenge.
But for me, I always try to find my center and this is something that's always been instilled in me very early. Define your center [so that] anytime that you're thrown out of it, you can find ways to do it. Whether that's from a spiritual standpoint, whether it's from a conscious standpoint, just to be able to utilize the same tools that I've had growing up to kind of get through the tough times [is necessary]. Because these are moments where people are really being tested.
As we can see, the day-to-day routines of the pandemic can sometimes suck the magic right out of our daily lives. Especially as it relates to marriage. So, have you found any new or unconventional things that help keep you and Tomasina’s marriage spicy and exciting?
That's a very good question. You know, it's one of those things that, it's kind of like a roller coaster. There's times where things are super spicy and it's good. And it's like, all new--especially because you have the time, you know what I mean? But you have to understand when you're in a situation like mine: wife, four children, especially when they're little, trying to keep the spice can be a little challenging because there's ALWAYS children around. And it's not like we can leave them at home and go break away to a hotel or go away for days at a time because we don't really want to leave them with anyone. So you got to find different moments. For me, my wife is big on massages. So I'm giving back rubs, foot massages, you know. There's ways to kind of keep being intimate in that way. So you don't completely just go untouched, you don't want to stay disconnected.
I think massages are severely underrated. They’re definitely clutch.
Yeah, they are but we got to pick and choose our fun times. You know, I bought my wife this professional massage table, right? And all the things that a professional masseuse would have. I got the oils, I got the lavender candles and the smell-goods and all this stuff. I got all the sheets and the blankets. So we have that and I set up this really cool gazebo in the backyard that can close up. So every now and again, you know what I'm saying, I'm going to give my wife the little massage. It's happening and it's good. But my kids, man! They like, 'What's going on, what's going on behind the curtain?' (laughs).
Like, yo--y'all gotta let us live. I'm trying to break that massage table in, bruh.
How did you know Tomasina was the one?
I think it was just over time. She and I just got along. It was one of those things [to where] we just balanced each other out. [We were] compatible. And as a friend--we were very good friends. And, of course, in our dating, she was just like a solid person through and through. And I felt like I found somebody that I truly can grow with and that I'm willing to really share a life-long experience with. It was a combination of different kinds of things. She just always was solid. I saw how she was and not only how she treated me, but how she treated people that weren't around me or people in my circle.
My wife and I dated for six years before we even got married and we were just working on our friendship and our relationship. There was a certain kind of normality that was present in our relationship that didn't feel like it was under a microscope of the media or Hollywood. It was like a normal relationship. And we don't have normal lives, so if you create normality--that was important.
"My wife and I dated for six years before we even got married and we were just working on our friendship and our relationship. There was a certain kind of normality that was present in our relationship that didn't feel like it was under a microscope of the media or Hollywood. It was like a normal relationship. And we don't have normal lives, so if you create normality--that was important."
You've spoken previously on the importance of maintaining and putting friendship first in your relationship. And you kind of just touched on it again a little bit ago. What advice would you give to married couples who've lost the foundation of friendship in their marriage?
Well, I'm certainly not one to give any advice but one of the things that I realized is that friendship is really important because friends are family that you choose, right? Usually what you want to have [in your relationship] is based on unconditional friendship. So no matter what, you accept their flaws, you accept their greatness, you accept their shortcomings and missteps, but also their victories. And I feel like when you are in a relationship and that friendship is tested, it's one of those things that you have to then look back on. And for me, that was something that I always kind of, we kind of had. Our relationship just gradually grew. When you have that friendship, you are usually dealing with the true essence of the person.
And I want to add this too. One thing that I also learned was that even though your lady is your friend, your wife is your friend--she can even be your homie. She AIN'T your boy. Like, at all. You know what I'm saying? That's not her. You're wiping that. She can be your homie, she can be all that, but she ain't your boy. And you gotta keep that in mind. She's wired differently.
"Usually what you want to have [in your relationship] is based on unconditional friendship. And I feel like when you are in a relationship and that friendship is tested, it's one of those things that you have to then look back on. And for me, that was something that I always kind of, we kind of had. When you have that friendship, you are usually dealing with the true essence of the person."
How important is it to showcase the positive and the realness of Black Love to your kids?
Oh, it's important. But I got to say that, our children need to see all of us--all of who we are. You know, they're gonna see the fun couple. They're going to see the responsible couple. They're gonna see the silly couple, but they're also gonna see the couple that's very strong in terms of being disciplinary. They're going to see us talk about spirituality, they're gonna hear us cuss every now and again. Just all the facets of us. But the one thing that we make sure our children do see is that real Black love. I think it's important for my sons to see black women as the standard of beauty, as queens, as the standard of real love and just the kind of connection you should have and the respect. And the uplifting, they see me trying to be uplifting, and saying positive things. And it's the same thing with their mother towards me. There's always hugs and kisses, there's always love in this house.
We made it very clear when we start having children, we're not dealing with the nonsense and we're not going to perpetuate the kinds of things that we saw. The negativity that's passed on from couples to couples, to generation after generation.
Thinking forward to another 20 years from now, when you look back at your marriage, what love legacy do you hope it leaves?
I would love for my children and their children's children to say that our father and mother, grandfather and grandmother--tried to set an example for us. To give us the tools, to give us the principles, to give us the standards and to give us the roadmap we needed to live up to our full potential. And so I hope that in 20 years, we could continue to build on that legacy of being the best versions of ourselves.
Business Ethics is available to stream now via Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, and iTunes. And for more of Larenz, keep up with him on Instagram.
Featured image via Larenz Tate/Instagram
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Behind The Veil: Brides Get Real About The Hidden Cost Of Wedding Planning
As more attention and concern has been given to mental health over the past few years, the trend seems to have taken its time when it comes to wedding planning. Though one of the most joyous times of a woman’s life, becoming a bride also includes a lot of stress—and most social media content glosses over it.
“I scrubbed TikTok for the better part of a year, and 90% of the content is just about saving money, what not to do and trends,” one bride recalled. “But there was really nothing about how to take care of yourself.”
Extensive research has been done on the state of the modern wedding, and the financial findings alone are enough to cause strain. According to research from The Wedding Report, U.S. wedding costs rose by 3% in 2023 to over $30,000, which is nearly half the country’s average salary. In a study of almost 10,000 couples conducted by The Knot, wedding costs in large cities like New York and Los Angeles peaked at $63,000 and $48,000, respectively.
“I feel like they're taking advantage of a happy moment,” another bride admits. “We hire photographers on the daily, we hire videographers on the daily. We know what a normal day rate is. But just because you put the term 'wedding' on it, the prices are doubled.”
The Knot’s study also includes stats that put interpersonal stress into perspective. With the average wedding including 115 guests, most couples also had at least eight bridesmaids and groomsmen. The study also confirmed that 75% of couples’ foremost concern was whether or not their “guests are well taken care of and have a good time.” All of this can put inordinate pressure on relationships—so much so that couples seek therapy.
“I don't think people really talk about things like, ‘Hey, perhaps you should be in therapy while you're doing this,’” yet another bride confesses. “Of course, some people are in premarital therapy, but I had to be in individual therapy right around the time of the wedding planning as well because it was just a burnout situation.”
In an effort to share more authentic stories about the wedding planning process, we asked four brides to anonymously share their experiences. From destination weddings to a pandemic micro wedding, here is the real tea on just how much a wedding can affect one’s mental health.
raisazwart/ Getty Images
BRIDE #1
There’s a lie that they tell you, that destination weddings are cheaper—they're not. The amount of money that was due upfront for things was definitely a stressor. Even with my fiancé and I collectively grossing over $200,000, I knew I was going to have to get a second job if I wanted things the way that I wanted them.
For my bachelorette, I was met with a lot of resistance from my bridesmaids out the gate. There were just too many opinions for me; it got to the point where I was so fed up with my bridal party that I had other friends outside of my wedding party helping me with things. There were even bridesmaids who were actually cool with each other at first, and now don't deal with each other at all. I also just look at certain friendships differently now.
Then there’s just way too much pressure on brides to look perfect—to be skinny, to have flawless skin, to have the whitest teeth, to have the best hair. I really feel like that was a stressor. I was trying to stay consistent in the gym; I was doing it as much as possible. I spent so much money on skincare, new body scrubs, lotions, and oils, trying to make sure that I was perfect. I also made sure I got my teeth whitened every three months. It got to the point where I was dreading getting my dress fitted because I wasn't the weight or the shape that I felt like I needed to be in order to be ‘perfect.’
"Then there’s just way too much pressure on brides to look perfect—to be skinny, to have flawless skin, to have the whitest teeth, to have the best hair. I really feel like that was a stressor."
My partner and I were in couples counseling at the same time that we were wedding planning. And I think, for the most part, he was involved as much as he was going to be. But then, he lost his mom, and the entire weight of the wedding fell on me. A couple of months before the wedding, I had a breakdown. It was too much to carry. I definitely took on this superwoman armor, and it stressed me the fuck out.
Days before we left, we had our last counseling session. My fiancé and I had a really, really long conversation about what we weren't going to allow to ruin the weekend for us. I just let it go—all the shit that upset me, all the things that pissed me off, even the things that were happening while I was there, I let it go.
A destination wedding was one of the things that we agreed on long ago. We knew that we always wanted to do that. And honestly, we had a fucking blast. For the entire process to be as hellish as it was, the weekend was great. Thank God.
BRIDE #2
Planning a wedding—especially one during the pandemic—was so stressful. My wedding was supposed to be in May 2020, and I canceled the wedding because of the pandemic. But then August 2020 rolled around, and I was like, ‘You know what? Let's just do something small.’ So, I planned my micro wedding in two weeks.
Initially, I had about 250 people that were invited to the wedding. So scaling down to just 30 people was honestly the hardest thing, and I actually lost friends because of it. Honestly, it shocked me, the entitlement that people had, and it just made me look at them differently. I was like, ‘You know what? I'm actually grateful that this happened because maybe I don't need you in my life.’
But to be honest, I think that the pandemic helped me out. With my original wedding plan, I was adding so many things onto the bill because I wanted it to look good for social media, so much so that I was racking up almost $100,000 for my bill. I had to keep reminding myself that it was one day, and spending that much money on a one-day event was actually ridiculous. I only spent $10,000 on my micro wedding, and I feel like that's pretty good. I learned throughout the process that I was being charged more for having a wedding. So, I rented out a Peerspace and I told her it was just a nice dinner for friends and family, that we were already married and were just celebrating. She had no clue that I was walking down the aisle on her rooftop.
As a social media influencer, I knew that tons of photos would be taken, and I would have to post them. I had a crossbite on my two front teeth, and I was so stressed out about how I would look in photos. So, I got Invisalign before the wedding. I also found a hair stylist quickly for my microwedding and she did my wig—but she did such a bad job. I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. People are gonna see me in my photos on my wedding day with this horrible, horrendous wig.’ I had to pluck it so much more. When I got the photos from the photographer, I told him that he could not post them until I edited them.
If I could give advice to other brides, I would say make sure you do it for you and your partner, nobody else. In the beginning, there were too many people in my ear. Once I started to realize that it was mine and my fiancé’s big day, and it was just us who mattered, that's what shifted everything for me. So don't lean into the pressures of pleasing other people and social media, just do what you think is right and what you truly, truly want.
Serhii Sobolevskyi/ Getty Images
BRIDE #3
The day you get engaged, there’s the attention and the immediate questions: ‘Do you have a date in mind?’ ‘Where are you gonna do it?’ And it was like, ‘I literally just got engaged, can I have one day?’ I got engaged on New Year's Eve and I didn't announce it until April—and that's because I was pressured.
I also didn't want a wedding. I didn't plan my wedding; my mom and family did that because that's what they wanted. So the venue, the flowers, the cake, they did all that because I didn't care. Back when things were going my way, I said I just wanted to do something small in a garden. The only thing I cared about was my dress because I knew my dress was going to be the main thing that was photographed. I always wanted a pink dress; I knew when I chose pink that it was going to be like, ‘Hmm, that's interesting.’
Matopeda Bride was making my dress in Nigeria. Do you understand how stressful it is doing something with somebody that lives in Nigeria? We had to find that sweet spot of time to talk because everything was done over WhatsApp. I didn't get my dress until the week before my wedding, and when I got the dress, it didn't fit. We were panicking a little bit, so much so that I forgot to buy wedding shoes. But when it all came together, that was probably what I was most proud of, because everybody said no to that pink dress and I was like ‘I don't care.’
I also had a zillion workarounds because I was not playing with these people taking advantage of brides. They rip brides off so bad. It's unfair because if you go to a makeup artist and just say you want soft glam, that's $80. But for a wedding? I was being quoted around $1,500 to $2,000 for that same $80 face. So I brought my homegirl, and she did my makeup for free. Wedding cakes were priced around the same, like $1,000 to $1,500. I ordered a white cake from Publix, it might have been like 100 bucks. My mom is a florist, so she put the flowers on the cake and then we ended up doing a cupcake tower around the side.
"They rip brides off so bad. It's unfair because if you go to a makeup artist and just say you want soft glam, that's $80. But for a wedding? I was being quoted around $1,500 to $2,000 for that same $80 face."
I also had no idea—and I'm grateful that they did not tell me—that there was tension between my bridesmaids. Once the wedding was over, I saw the text thread, and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me, because I saw who was willing, who was not responsive, and who wouldn't do things they were supposed to do. Initially, with the garden wedding, it was just going to be me and my fiancé. I didn't want a bridal party.
On the day of, I was so tired of being at a wedding that I left my reception, and I went to the back to talk to a friend. I was like, ‘This is too much.’ I really don't believe half the brides that have these big, obnoxious weddings even want to be there! I've been seeing a lot of content with brides saying, ‘Okay, this is too much. I'm gonna go somewhere and decompress.’
A bride should make sure that she is centered and has a full awareness of who she is and what she would like, and stand firm in that. Just be authentic, be you, and I think you'll be able to deal with it all a little bit better. Every time I hear that somebody bent just a little bit to accommodate people, there were always regrets.
BRIDE #4
I knew I wanted to have a destination wedding before I even had a boyfriend. I've been to destination weddings, and I had so much fun. But mine was a battle with me and my mom, because she was like, ‘Oh, your grandmothers won't be able to come and certain family members won't be able to fly.’ And I was okay with that. I was just like, ‘Well, in this instance it's about me and what I want.’
We had two ceremonies: an American one and a Nigerian one. How we saved money with two weddings was that for the Nigerian one, we didn't feed people. We were like, ‘We're not paying for two receptions.’ Normally, when you go to a traditional Nigerian wedding, they feed people at both, and it gets really, really expensive. But we did it at an all-inclusive resort, so we were like, ‘We'll do the ceremony, and then y'all can go on the resort and go get some food.’
I'm not Nigerian, my husband is, so I let his family handle all that. I ended up having to step in and be the middle man between our wedding party and his family because they wanted us to wear a certain fabric. We got all the fabric from Nigeria, so we had to get everyone's measurements and all that tedious stuff. That's what was complicated. We had to wear the geles, the headwraps, and we didn't know how to tie the geles. So I had to figure out how to get the geles pre-made for the girls because I wanted to do that. That was a big thing for me because this was my only time to have a cultural wedding.
With relationships, it's like people don't know how to not make it about themselves. People also weren't realizing that when they kept asking me for stuff, they were making my life harder. I'm in the middle of planning a wedding, and you're asking me for answers that I've already sent, which is just inconsiderate at the end of the day. I think that's the most frustrating part, and that's why you lose friends, because people wait until the last minute to do things, and they make it harder on you.
People were coming up to me like, ‘Are you having something borrowed? Something blue?’ No. Why am I stressing myself out over that? Because that's a tradition? We need to normalize people being different. Historically, if you're different, you're outcasted, but if that's what I want, I want what I want. I didn't want a garter. I didn't want to do a garter toss. I didn't do the bouquet thing or none of that. When it came to the reception outfit, people were like, ‘Why aren't you getting a dress?’ I didn't want a dress; I wore a white suit. I wore a white suit with a sexy lingerie bodysuit underneath because that's me. With some Jordans, because I'm a sneaker person.
Managing my mental health was about creating boundaries. I think I did a great job of creating boundaries throughout the whole process—I was very stern on what I wanted and what I didn't want.
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Featured image by Adriana Duduleanu/Getty Images