
'I Ain't Choosing': Actress Kiersey Clemons Says If She Can't Have It All She Doesn't Want It

Kiersey Clemons isn’t just a face worth stopping and staring at. The talent is undeniable. Since her breakout role as Diggy in Dope, alongside Shameik Moore, A$AP Rocky, and Chanel Iman, the millennial thespian has been continuing to secure bag after bag on screen, from thriller films Sweetheart and Antebellum to the side-holding Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising. She has also taken her wit, style, beauty, sass, and effervescence to her most recent project on Amazon Prime, which debuted ahead of Valentine’s Day.
Directed by Dave Franco, Somebody I Used to Know follows the story of workaholic Ally (Alison Brie) who has a run-in with her ex, Sean (Jay Ellis), and begins to question every choice she’s made up until that point. Things become more confusing for her feelings once she realizes that Sean is engaged to Cassidy (Clemons), who reminds her of a younger, feistier version of herself. The question remains when watching the film: Are Sean and Ally falling in love with each other all over again, or is it just the idea of what they once had bringing back the sparks?
During a conversation with xoNecole, Clemons got personal with contributing writer D’Shonda Brown about whether she believes in fate, her thoughts on romantic comedies, and her recipe for a fool-proof relationship.
xoNecole: What are your thoughts on romantic comedies, and how would you say that 'Somebody I Used to Know' challenges what a rom-com is?
Kiersey Clemons: I think all rom-coms kind of offer the same feeling. It's cozy, you can watch it by yourself, and you know what feeling you're going to be left with, which I think is the best thing about the genre. It's promising, like a horror movie. I know that I'm going to be scared - that's the point. I know that I want to watch it with other people, and someone has to sleep over because I don't watch scary movies without a sleepover. We're having a sleepover, and we're watching a scary movie. You're staying.
xoN: How did playing Cassidy challenge you as an actor, as opposed to previous roles that you've had in the past?
KC: Probably keeping her so chill. Dave [Franco] was like, "No. She's like hella chill. You can even chill out even more." I got to the point where I was like, "You just want me to play someone who's high all the time?,” and he was like, "Exactly." She is so unbothered. It’s crazy to me.
xoN: If you were in Cassidy's shoes, is there anything that would've been a non-negotiable for you when it came to your fiancé's best friend’s behavior like, "Okay, this is unacceptable behavior. I have to say something"?
KC: I think that if it was a person acting the way that she's (Brie's character, Ally) acting, I would not be welcoming her into the space as much. I would definitely be having a real conversation with her like, "You're not coming to my wedding weekend."
xoN: If you could give Cassidy and Sean a piece of advice before they jump the broom, what would you tell them?
KC: Can I be honest?
(L-R) Jay Ellis and Kiersey Clemons
Kayla Oaddams/WireImage
xoN: It’s a safe space.
KC: 'Y’all shouldn’t get married.' I’m just saying. I mean, I love the end of the film because it doesn't always go the way that the person who's watching it, or even made it, thinks that it should go, but I don't think they are ready. I think they both have some developing to do. They both want to live in that fantasy world that I was talking about, but good for them; they're going through a phase. They'll probably get divorced later, it's fine. We all have to get divorced at some time.
xoN: There was a point in time where Ally's character said that the way that she and Sean had reconnected was fate. Do you believe in fate, or do you believe in timely coincidences?
KC: I don't know if I necessarily believe in fate. I think I do believe in things lining up with intention, more than I do fate. Like when something happens that most people would call fate, I'm more so one of those people that's like, "I made this happen." Ugh, I hate to say that I've been manifesting it, but that's me. That's who I am.
xoN: Do you believe that love should be an easy, smooth sailing train, or do you feel like nothing that you have shouldn't come without some type of tug of war?
KC: I think that it should be healthy, but if it's smooth sailing, you're not living in reality. I think that you are living in delusion, and living in a place of what you want life to be like. I think the best love, even with your friends, is [that] a lot of people want to be like, "I'm going to cut that person off," but I think if you're able to resolve conflict and communicate, that's real love.
xoN: Another interesting part of the storyline was there's this compare and contrast between a life that you can have with love, and a life that you can have when you put your career first. What's the importance of having a balance of a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, as well as a fulfilling career path?
KC: I think if there's anything that you also want to do for the rest of your life, it must be part of your purpose, and you should stick with that thing, but also if there's a person you want to do with that as well, then yeah, it has to be balanced. Committing to one thing or another, if I have to do that, I'm dropping both. I'm starting over, I'm doing something else. I don't like sacrificing everything. That's so weird. I'm not doing that. I ain’t choosing.
"Committing to one thing or another, if I have to do that, I'm dropping both. I'm starting over, I'm doing something else. I don't like sacrificing everything. That's so weird. I'm not doing that. I ain’t choosing."
Jeremy Chan/Getty Images
xoN: What does closing a door look like for you, and how do you personally address triggers from old relationships?
KC: I think it's closure, it's having a conversation, allowing yourself the space to heal from whatever it was and whatever happened. I kind of like the idea of resolve before going your separate ways. I think two people who are angry and have animosity, going their separate ways is... I don't know. It allows space for a grudge that personally, I don't like to have grudges, and that's also what creates triggers.
xoN: In a relationship, what do you think is more important - communication, trust, or commitment?
KC: I think all of them. Commitment more so. Again, divorce [and] things happen, but you have to have trust and communication in any relationship if it's your family, your friends, or your partner - or what are you really doing?
xoN: What's the most important piece of relationship advice you've ever learned that you still take with you to this day?
KC: Conflict, communication, resolution. I always keep that in mind. I just had that with a friend. They couldn't do the communication part and I was like, "We can't ever get to the resolution." I love when I have conflicts with my friends. I don't create it because it allows us to get to a place that is in here. I love that. I made it up. Doesn't it sound like a therapist told me?
xoN: It does.
KC: You know what I also came up with yesterday? This has nothing to do with anything, except it does have to do with marriage and me thinking that I'm a therapist. By the way, it leads to nothing, but this is going to help people. We were talking about splitting duties in the house, like why don't people just do the job that they like? Even if you end up doing more things than me, if you like cleaning dishes, then you can clean the dishes. I like to vacuum.
I was like, okay, partners should have the list of things that need to be done in the house, and without looking at each other's piece of paper, from one to five, you rate out what you hate to do, being one, and what you like to do, being five. What brings you satisfaction? Vacuuming. Mwah, chef's kiss. And then that's how you decide what each person does. Don't I sound like a fricking marriage counselor?
Somebody I Used to Know is now streaming on Prime Video.
Featured image by Leon Bennett/Getty Images
- Black Actresses Under 30 That We Need To Know ›
- Kiersey Clemons Is One Exceptionally "Ordinary" Black Girl ›
'Black Girl Magic' Poet Mahogany L. Browne Talks Banned Books And The Power Of The Creative Pivot
You know you’re dealing with a truly talented and profound voice of a generation when the powers that be attempt to silence it. As a poet, educator, and cultural curator, Mahogany L. Browne has carved out a powerful space in the world of literature and beyond.
From penning the viral poem, “Black Girl Magic,” to writing Woke: A Young Poet’s Call To Justice (a book once banned from a Boston school library), to becoming the 2024 Paterson Poetry Prize winner and a poet-in-residence at Lincoln Center—her path exemplifies resilience, reinvention, and unapologetic artistry. She's published more than 40 works and paid the bills with her craft, a divine dream for many creatives seeking release, autonomy, and freedom in a tough economic climate.
A Goddard College graduate, who earned an MFA from Pratt Institute and was awarded an honorary doctorate from Marymount Manhattan College, Mahogany offers unapologetic realness with a side of grace and empowerment. "I started touring locally. I started creating chat books so that those poems will go in the hands of the people who were sitting in the rooms," she shared.
"And then I started facilitating poetry workshops, so I used my chat books as curriculum. And that, in turn, allowed me to further invest in my art and show the community and people who were hiring me that it wasn't just a one-off, that it's not just, you know, a fly by night—that I am invested in this art as much as I am invested in your community, in your children's learning, in our growth."
Mahogany has a special way of moving audiences, and her superpower sparks shifts in perspective, post-performance introspection, and strengthening of community bonds, especially among Black women. (One can undeniably recognize her gift for arousal of the spirit and mind merely from her listening to her insights from the other side of a Google Hangout call. I can only imagine the soul-stirring, top-tier sensory encounter when watching her perform in person.)
In this chat with xoNecole, Mahogany reflects on sustaining a creative career, the aftermath of writing a banned book, and using poetry for both healing, community-building, and activism.
Anthony Artis
xoNecole: What are three key things that have laid the foundation for a sustainable creative career for you?
Mahogany L Browne: What has helped me is that I'm willing to go in being an expert at knowing poetry and knowing the way in which art can change the landscape of our lives, not just as a poet, but also as a poetry facilitator. How you move through classes, those things are mastered, right? So when I go into another space that's maybe tech-heavy, I don't mind learning and being, you know, a student of the wonder of how we can make this magic, work together.
Two, you’ve got to know how to pivot. Sometimes we say, ‘Alright, this is what my life is going to be. I'm going to be a New York Times best-selling author. I'm going to, you know, have an album that's Grammy-nominated. And then, say you get dropped from your record label. That doesn't mean you can't make an album anymore. You can also still create an album that can be submitted to the Grammys. So, what does a pivot look like as an artist who doesn't have an institution behind them? Pivot being a student of the wonder.
Relationships also really help. How do I serve the community? And in turn, that tells me how the community can show up. For me, I have long-standing ties with a community that will outlast my one life. So, what does it mean to create space where these relationships can develop, can be nurtured, can be rooted, can be cultivated? Creating space—it happens through relationships.
xoN: With today’s economic challenges, what does your current creative process look like, and what are you working on?
MB: I’m always thinking five years ahead. I just reviewed the pages for two children’s books and recently released a YA novel. I’m drafting an adult fiction manuscript now.
Anything I create is founded with the root of poetry, but it can exist in captions. It can exist in commercials. It can exist as a musical. So that's where I’m at now.
xoN: You started performing "Black Girl Magic" in 2013, had an acclaimed performance of it via PBS and the work went on to viral success shortly after. Talk more about the inspiration. And what do you think about the continued relevance more than a decade later?
MB: I wrote it as a rally cry for the mothers who had been keeping themselves truly in harm's way by, you know, being a part of the community right after the death of their child or their loved one. They are usually mothers of victims of police brutality—and just seeing how they showed up in these community spaces, they are devout to the cause but obviously still grieving.
"I wanted this poem to be just a space of reclamation, of joy and of you, of your light, of your shine, of your brilliance, in any which way in which you fashion. Every room you enter is the room you deserve to be in. What does it mean to have a poem like that that exists?"
And the first time I did the poem, the Weeping that occurred, right? It was like this blood-letting of sorts. The next time I performed it, I'm moved to tears because I'm seeing how it's affecting other women who have just been waiting to hear, ‘You belong. You deserve. You are good. We see you. Thank you, despite everything that they said to make you regret being born in this beautiful brown, dark-skinned, light-skinned, but Black body.’
Black women are the backbone—period. Point blank. And so, that that poem became a necessity, not just to the fortitude of Black women in the community, but like you know, in service of healing the Black women.
xoN: One of your books was banned at a school in Boston, and it was later reinstated due to parental and activist support. What was that experience like?
MB: Well, I think it happened because they were racist. That's it. Point blank. The reversal of it was empowering, right? I realized, oh, I thought we just had to sit here and be on a banned book list. But no, parents are actually the leaders of this charge.
So to see that, the parents said, ‘Nah, we're not gonna let you take this book out of my baby’s school just because it's a Black kid on the front saying, ‘Woke’ and they're talking about being a global citizen. They're talking about accountability. They're talking about accessibility. They're talking about allyship, and you don't want them to have compassion or empathy or have even an understanding, right? So no, we rebuke that, and we want this book here anyway.’ To see that happen in that way. I was, like, reaffirmed. Absolutely.
xoN: You recently organized the Black Girl Magic Ball at the Lincoln Center in New York. Honorees included author and entrepreneur Rachel Cargle and National Black Theater CEO Sade Lythcott. What impact did it have and what expanded legacy do you hope to leave with your creative works?
MB: I was really interested in not celebrating just the book, but celebrating the community that made the book possible. And so I gave out five awards to women doing that thing, like, what does it mean to be a Black girl in this world?
I just thought it was gonna be an amazing time. Everybody's gonna dress up—we're gonna celebrate each other. And boom, I then realized that it responded to like a gaping hole. There was a missing thing for Black girls of all walks of life, all ages, right?
"It's very intergenerational. That was intentional to come together and celebrate just being us."
You have all these instances where just being you is either the butt of a joke or it's diminished and not worthy of a specific title in these larger institutions. So what does it mean to just to be loved up on and celebrated?
It felt like a self-care project at first. You know, for the first couple of years, folks were coming and they were getting that sisterhood. They were getting that tribe work that they were missing in their everyday lives.
I love the Black Girl Magic Ball because we got us. If I go out with a bang, they'll remember that Mahogany worked her a** off to make sure all the Black girls everywhere knew that she was the light. We are the blueprint.
For more information on Mahogany L. Browne, her work, and her future projects, visit her website or follow her on IG @mobrowne.
Featured image by Anthony Artis
The millennial in me is nostalgic at best...and at worst, deeply, deeply yearning. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the past.
In the days of old, community was never hard to find. It was a knock on the door from a neighborhood friend who needed no invitation. It was trading jokes over lunch and lingering strolls after the final bell. It was choir practice on Saturdays and giggling in the pews on Sundays.
The love was free and plentiful, and my cup runneth over.
But there was a certain rhythm to the ’90s and early 2000s. People were ever-present in the most ordinary ways, and fortunately, this followed me well into adulthood. The door knocks have since turned into tequila shots, and brunch on Sundays became my new sanctuary, but you know...same thing!
However, life has changed drastically, and with it, so have we. Sometimes by force (2020..no other words needed, amirite), and other times by the natural, inevitable flow of growing up.
As we age, our identities become more defined. And while the people we’ve always loved still matter deeply, we start to crave new connections and experiences that reflect who we’re becoming.
When COVID reared its ugly head, not only did it disrupt the lives we knew, it pushed us to reevaluate the lives we want… and the people we want in them. For many, it exposed a loneliness that had already been there beneath the surface. It made space for questions we hadn’t slowed down to ask: What do I truly enjoy? Who do I feel most myself around?
After months of quarantine and isolation, we were left craving connection in a deeper, more intentional way. This sparked a renewed interest in “the third space.”
Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, the term refers to those places beyond home (first space) and work (second space) where people gather, build relationships, and foster community. Think coffee shops, libraries, dance studios, run clubs, and other environments that offer connection outside of our daily obligations.
My own desire to find like-minded folks has only intensified over the past few years. And as a self-proclaimed medicine woman and wellness enthusiast, I went looking for spaces that felt good, and found more than a few.
So if you're in NYC and searching for places that feed your spirit (and tend to your interests), consider this your starter guide. Whether it's a wellness club, a run group, or a kickball league, these third spaces might just feel like home.
A Safe Space Mentor
My Shaylaaa.
What started out as a simple offering from founder Teya Knapp has grown into one of the most intentional, heartfelt communities I’ve had the privilege to be part of. Together with COO Jasmine Dayze, they have cultivated more than a collective—it’s a movement rooted in community care, softness, and restoration.
A nonprofit centered on mental health advocacy and equity, A Safe Space Mentor has redefined the possibilities of communal healing. With over 22 fully funded retreats to date (yes, free), monthly programs ranging from support groups and hikes to pottery classes, free therapy, and now a physical home at A Safe Place Studios, they’ve built an ecosystem where people can show up fully and be accepted just as they are.
I came across them by chance, but as fate would have it, it allowed me to bloom in ways I never saw coming, surrounded by women who affirm and love me in ways I didn’t know I needed. I’m serious, ya’ll. Even at the risk of sounding dramatic: expect to be changed, to find friends, possibly even family, and maybe a group chat, too.
Beyond their no-cost offerings, they also host weekly yoga and meditation classes, massages, and more. Learn more about this beautiful space here, and keep an eye out for their upcoming Juneteenth gathering.
NARC
Who needs Hinge when there’s a run club? (Kidding... kind of.)
NARC, short for Not a Run Club, is technically a run club but with a twist. Co-founded by Omari Ross and Noah Hutchins, NARC takes a holistic approach to fitness and community. Picture track workouts, dynamic circuits, core finishers, followed by a post-workout brunch with the crew. Sure, the occasional match may be made, but at its core, NARC is about connection, movement, and showing up for yourself and others.
It’s the kind of space where most people arrive solo but rarely leave without a new friend or a new perspective. And personally? I never tire of seeing Black men love on one another out loud.
If you’re looking for a solid sweat (not gonna lie, it gives Olympic training at times), laughs, and folks that show up rain or shine, they’ve got you. Beyond the track, they also host boxing classes, hot yoga sessions, social mixers, and a number of other events. NARC meets every Saturday at McCarren Park at 10 a.m. unless otherwise noted. Learn more here.
The Music Nerds
My favorite part about The Music Nerds? The DJ. Scene Serene, a former music journalist turned vibe curator, created this club out of pure love for music and the Black people who create it. And that love is felt in every detail.
Past functions have celebrated Kendrick Lamar, Black women in music, and Virginia legends, each thoughtfully crafted to tell a story through sound. Here, you’re not just dancing, you’re feeling, remembering, and reflecting, too. Additionally, she kicks off each event with icebreaker quote cards to spark conversation, because the vibe isn’t just in the music; it’s also in the people.
That sense of connection comes full circle in her choice of venues, which are always Black-owned spaces that feel safe and inclusive for all Black folk. After all, if we don’t support each other, who will?
This isn’t just a party. It’s a celebration of culture, connection, and Black joy…and yes, it’s free! She’s cooking up some magic for the summer, so follow her here to stay in the loop.
SociaLight Social Club
For the anti-social socialite or the extrovert who wants a little more intimate play, the SociaLight Club might be your sweet spot.
Nayah, the founder, is all about curating intimate, low-pressure gatherings that bring people together through random yet delightful activities, all while supporting Black-owned businesses in the process.
From coworking days to supper clubs and nights building LEGOs, it’s the kind of space where you can show up as you are and end up discovering new people and new passions. It’s chill, it’s intentional, and very much a vibe. Keep up with her events here.
Recess Kickball League
Black folks deserve to frolic, dilly-dally, and straight-up play. And that’s the spirit behind Recess Kickball League. Though kickball is the anchor, it’s really about reclaiming joy through movement and connection.
Founded by five friends during the lockdowns of 2020 (Emmanuel Maduakolam, Christopher Thomas, Cris Jones, Daemon “Tubbs” Krueger, and Ermias Tessema), the club started as a way to get outside and let loose, and now it’s blossomed into a thriving community with leagues in both LA and Brooklyn.
If you’ve been looking for field day vibes and opportunities to love on your inner child, keep up with them here.
The Free Black Women’s Library
Tucked in the heart of Bed-Stuy, The Free Black Women’s Library is a cozy nook that centers Black women and holds space for book lovers, creatives, and community-builders alike.
Founded by OlaRonke Akinmowo, it functions as more than a library but a cultural hub. While every book is written by a Black woman or non-binary author, she also hosts grief workshops, writing circles, and curated events that honor both healing and imagination, too. Their monthly calendar is packed with offerings that meet you where you are, celebrating who we are and who we’re becoming.
And the best part? You don’t have to buy a book, you can swap one. Bring something you’ve read, and leave with something new. Keep up with them here.
Peak & Pace
This one’s for the runners and the lovers. If you’re looking to meet your future bae who’s into fitness and a good Sunday reset, Peak & Pace might just be your new favorite link.
Founded by London native Owen Akhibi after relocating to NYC, the club was born out of something a lot of us know too well: feeling a little lonely in a big city. So he created a space that brings people together who just so happen to run.
Every meetup ends with a social, and some runs come with fun themes like wearing flags repping your country to wristbands signaling your relationship status (lovers tap in!). Off the track, they host yoga, comedy nights, parties, and other events to build real connections. They meet every Saturday at Prospect Park at 10 a.m. Tap in with them here.
Free Peace Meditation Club
Free Peace Meditation Club offers a rare pause in the middle of NYC’s bustling Lower East Side, encouraging folks to be still in the midst of chaos while finding beauty in it, too. What began as a simple conversation between Kenji Summers and Angelo Baque has blossomed into a welcoming sanctuary where New Yorkers gather to unplug, recenter, and recharge.
Hosted monthly at the artfully decorated Awake NY, this community-driven experience invites participants to reconnect through guided reflection, mindful breathwork, and thoughtfully curated music that features the rich sounds of New York’s rap, R&B, and jazz artists. FPANYMC stands as a powerful affirmation that stillness is not a luxury but an essential practice. Keep up with them here.
Knot Okay Club
This one’s for the soft girls, the creatives, and anyone who’s ever needed to crochet their stress away.
Knot Okay Club brings Black women and non-binary folks together through fiber arts. It’s about slowing down, making something with your hands, and feeling held while you do it. The work might be small and intentional, but the connection? That’s the magic. Learn more about them here.
Girls That Gather
Lauren Franco started Girls That Gather after moving to NYC and realizing just how hard it can be to find genuine connections as an adult.
What began as a way to bring women together has grown into a go-to space for meaningful conversation and real friendship. From curated dinner parties to small, cozy events, everything is designed to feel easy and intentional. No awkward networking energy, just good vibes and even better people. Learn more about them here.
Adanne Bookshop
Adanne is one of those places that makes you want to linger.
Tucked away in Brooklyn and owned by educator Darlene Okpo, this Black woman-owned bookshop is as intentional as it is inviting. The books are curated with care, the energy is warm, and the events, from author talks to community gatherings to incense-making, always leave you a little more full than when you walked in.
It’s not just a bookstore; it’s a cultural anchor. Check out their events here.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash