How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
There was a time when the question, "Does he give you butterflies?” was always associated with happy feelings and positivity. But between love bombing, situationships, stories like Reesa Teesa, and the overwhelming number of bad dating stories, many millennials have become hesitant – even cautious – of feeling chemistry too early. Nevertheless, the truth remains: if intentions are genuine, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the spark sooner rather than later.
Frederick and Josephanie Buffington are a beautiful testament of this notion. During our discussion, they humorously walked me through how they connected, their immediate attraction, and how they’ve been able to passionately follow these feelings all the way to the altar. The couple attributes their exciting new marriage to discovering who they were individually and knowing what they desire from partnership prior to meeting. Check out their story below.
How and where did you two meet?
Frederick: Well, I’m a Southern gentleman from Arkansas. It’s not really my thing to get into dating apps and stuff like that. But after being in Atlanta for a while and talking to a friend from the area, she explained why she deals with them, and it made sense to me. So I gave it a try, and it failed about eighteen times (laughs). But when I was on the verge of hanging it up, a pretty little thing popped up on my screen.
Josephanie: I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us.
"I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us."
Were you attracted instantly, or did it develop over time?
Josephanie: No. Nah, I’m just kidding – I was always attracted to him.
Frederick: Yeah, she has always been this fine.
xovelshee/ Instagram
Walk me through the courtship. Did y'all ever have that awkward “what are we convo, and who initiated it?
Josephanie: No, we didn’t have that conversation. Because it went so fast, after date three, we decided we were doing this.
Frederick: By then we had talked about life goals and everything enough that we realized if we went different ways, we would be stupid.
And what made you want to commit to a relationship with one another? How did you know it was special?
Josephanie: Because it went so fast. It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us.
Frederick: Yeah, and we ended up here. I’m really picky about everything. For me, it was like 2-3 weeks in when I realized she wasn’t getting on my nerves, so I knew it was something there. It sounds funny, but I’m serious. Like, I used to get to a point in dating where I’d start thinking a woman breathed funny or just something random would turn me off. This was different. I was just enjoying it. And still, no matter who I’m in the presence of or who approaches me, I just don’t see anything trumping this.
"It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us."
xovelshee/ Instagram
Speaking of time, what do you do to keep the relationship spicy?
Josephanie: That’s all me. (laughs)
Frederick: That’s where her career as a sex therapist comes in. (laughs).
I love that approach. I’m curious what did you two learn in your single season?
Josephanie: I got to know myself and put emphasis on my intrinsic value. It’s not about 'what I’m bringing to the table.' It’s about who I am as an individual, and what my value is, and where my value lies. That’s not about what I’m doing but who I am.
Frederick: Yeah, I figured out who I was before I got with her, too. Outside of social media and what your friends/family think, it’s important to figure out what you like because, ultimately, you’re going to have to live with that decision. So know who you are and let them know who you are. During my single season, I took the time to really know myself and I focused on what I like. Again, I’m picky. So, I had to figure out what I really liked before I drove someone else crazy. And then she was patient with me, so I ended up making a good choice (laughs).
xovelshee/ Instagram
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Josephanie: I recently had surgery. So, I had 64 fibroids, a major abdominal myomectomy. I couldn’t do anything for myself, and he was there 24/7. I was in the hospital for 5 to 6 days, and he slept on the floor the whole time.
Fredrick: And those floor mats were not there for everybody. Her mother was there too – shoutout to her mother. That was definitely something very challenging that we got through together.
Finally, what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Frederick: Her booty. No, I’m just playing. I’ll give it to you in order: her confidence, intelligence, humor, and then the booty and smile.
Josephanie: My favorite thing about him is that he is the epitome of Black boy joy. He’s always laughing, he’s always smiling. There’s always jokes. His personality radiates. You can’t help but want to be in his presence.
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Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play