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Just When This Couple Was Ready To Delete Dating Apps, They Matched & The Rest Is History
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
There was a time when the question, "Does he give you butterflies?” was always associated with happy feelings and positivity. But between love bombing, situationships, stories like Reesa Teesa, and the overwhelming number of bad dating stories, many millennials have become hesitant – even cautious – of feeling chemistry too early. Nevertheless, the truth remains: if intentions are genuine, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the spark sooner rather than later.
Frederick and Josephanie Buffington are a beautiful testament of this notion. During our discussion, they humorously walked me through how they connected, their immediate attraction, and how they’ve been able to passionately follow these feelings all the way to the altar. The couple attributes their exciting new marriage to discovering who they were individually and knowing what they desire from partnership prior to meeting. Check out their story below.
How and where did you two meet?
Frederick: Well, I’m a Southern gentleman from Arkansas. It’s not really my thing to get into dating apps and stuff like that. But after being in Atlanta for a while and talking to a friend from the area, she explained why she deals with them, and it made sense to me. So I gave it a try, and it failed about eighteen times (laughs). But when I was on the verge of hanging it up, a pretty little thing popped up on my screen.
Josephanie: I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us.
"I actually got on the app that day to delete it. I was like, I’m done with this, and I don’t want to do this anymore. But I saw him and was like, let’s wait a second. And he sent me a message, we matched, and the same day he called me. We ended up talking on the phone for like seven hours, and that was like it for us."
Were you attracted instantly, or did it develop over time?
Josephanie: No. Nah, I’m just kidding – I was always attracted to him.
Frederick: Yeah, she has always been this fine.
xovelshee/ Instagram
Walk me through the courtship. Did y'all ever have that awkward “what are we convo, and who initiated it?
Josephanie: No, we didn’t have that conversation. Because it went so fast, after date three, we decided we were doing this.
Frederick: By then we had talked about life goals and everything enough that we realized if we went different ways, we would be stupid.
And what made you want to commit to a relationship with one another? How did you know it was special?
Josephanie: Because it went so fast. It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us.
Frederick: Yeah, and we ended up here. I’m really picky about everything. For me, it was like 2-3 weeks in when I realized she wasn’t getting on my nerves, so I knew it was something there. It sounds funny, but I’m serious. Like, I used to get to a point in dating where I’d start thinking a woman breathed funny or just something random would turn me off. This was different. I was just enjoying it. And still, no matter who I’m in the presence of or who approaches me, I just don’t see anything trumping this.
"It was like a whirlwind, and usually, I steer clear of those. But this was fun, intense, and energy-filled. So I was like, let’s just ride this wave and see where it takes us."
xovelshee/ Instagram
Speaking of time, what do you do to keep the relationship spicy?
Josephanie: That’s all me. (laughs)
Frederick: That’s where her career as a sex therapist comes in. (laughs).
I love that approach. I’m curious what did you two learn in your single season?
Josephanie: I got to know myself and put emphasis on my intrinsic value. It’s not about 'what I’m bringing to the table.' It’s about who I am as an individual, and what my value is, and where my value lies. That’s not about what I’m doing but who I am.
Frederick: Yeah, I figured out who I was before I got with her, too. Outside of social media and what your friends/family think, it’s important to figure out what you like because, ultimately, you’re going to have to live with that decision. So know who you are and let them know who you are. During my single season, I took the time to really know myself and I focused on what I like. Again, I’m picky. So, I had to figure out what I really liked before I drove someone else crazy. And then she was patient with me, so I ended up making a good choice (laughs).
xovelshee/ Instagram
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Josephanie: I recently had surgery. So, I had 64 fibroids, a major abdominal myomectomy. I couldn’t do anything for myself, and he was there 24/7. I was in the hospital for 5 to 6 days, and he slept on the floor the whole time.
Fredrick: And those floor mats were not there for everybody. Her mother was there too – shoutout to her mother. That was definitely something very challenging that we got through together.
Finally, what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Frederick: Her booty. No, I’m just playing. I’ll give it to you in order: her confidence, intelligence, humor, and then the booty and smile.
Josephanie: My favorite thing about him is that he is the epitome of Black boy joy. He’s always laughing, he’s always smiling. There’s always jokes. His personality radiates. You can’t help but want to be in his presence.
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Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Every season is bob season, right? Whether you’re a protective style, curly, or relaxed-hair girly, a bob unites us all. It’s arguably earned the title of most popular, just like finger waves and French rolls did in the ‘90s.
The bubble bob is the latest rendition of this timeless style that’s earned our attention and appreciation. It’s a short and bouncy voluminous bob with a bubble-esque effect. And seeing our faves like Lori Harvey, Zendaya, Ciara, and Kelly Rowland rock it effortlessly has us adding a round brush to our Amazon cart ASAP.
If this is your first time stumbling on this phenomenon, you’re invited to the chat as we explore all things bubble bob. If you’re already familiar with it but want to know more, keep reading sis, we got you. Here’s everything you need to know about a bubble bob, and how to achieve the classy look.
First Things First: What’s a Bubble Bob Exactly?
Jeremy Moeller/Getty Images
London hairstylist Luke Hersheshon officially coined the term “bubble bob,” according to Vogue. Hersheshon said, “It’s defined by that ’90s curve, which until recently was a bit of a no-no, plus it also has a little bit of bounce to it.” Its signature is a curvy silhouette made complete with bumped ends. “Think a classic, old-school, super smooth blow dry, that’s slightly curved under,” he said.
Who Can Rock It Best?
Because a bubble bob typically falls right between the shoulder and the chin, it’s actually flattering for most face shapes, the celebrity hairstylist pointed out. Hairstylist to the stars, Chad Wood, told Byrdie that it mostly complements round, heart, square, and inverted-triangle face shapes. For the ladies with longer face aesthetics, keep in mind that the bubble bob can make your neck and face appear longer, Wood said.
Still, don’t be afraid to go for this look as it works on all types of hair from full and thick to thin and fine.
How To Style a Bubble Bob Haircut
Daniele Venturelli/WireImage
We all want our bobs to have more bounce than the ounce. If you’re not afraid of a little heat, you can achieve this look by pairing a one-inch round brush with a hair dryer (or just use a blow dryer hair brush), starting at the neck and angeling the ends as you work your way up to the top of your head. Don’t forget your heat protectant, girl.
Still, a bubble bob doesn’t always require a ton of heat. Instead, you can also air dry and fluff your hair and use a round brush to give the ends that must-have bend. But I’d be lying if I said this method will get you the same volume and luster as using heat (because it most likely won’t).
Even though it has standout features like volume and such, there are different ways to sport it and make it your own. “You can angle or flip the ends of your bubble bob, add in curls, or leave it smooth. You can also leave longer angled pieces in the front to funk it up and make it more fun,” said Wood.
It’s All About The Versatility
Bubble bobs have easily become a hairdo fave thanks to their versatility. From length to volume, you can still make a bubble your own. Try it with a deep side part, bangs, or a middle part that frames your face. You can also experiment with chin, neck, or shoulder length to create a tailor-made look. Spicing it up with layers will give it that extra stamp of approval.
So How Do You Maintain It?
We all feel at our best when our bob is bobbing properly, especially when it comes to its sleek appeal. Depending on your hair type, you can keep it full of luster by using products like a finishing cream or anti-frizz serum.
If you love extra volume and bounce, NYC salon owner Nunzio Saviano, tellsReal Simplethat velcro rollers are the key. “Rollers are ideal to style a bubble bob. They are best for long-lasting volume.” For heat styling, get the lift with a round brush and a blow dryer, then finish off with rollers. Volumizing mousse and hairspray are also go-to products.
Getting a trim every four to six weeks also stops the ends from being disrespectful and turning outward. If you do use rollers or heat, you can extend the time in between cuts.
Will you be trying out the bubble bob?
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Featured image by Pascal Le Segretain/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR