

Defining Your Curls: What's Your Hair Type?
The first time I tried to commit to the natural hair life was in 2015. It had been three years since my last relaxer and I had been rocking sew-ins faithfully. Once I saw how much hang-time my hair had, I wanted to go full throttle in embracing its curls. I watched more than enough YouTube videos and stocked up on all things natural haircare, from twisting creams to co-washing shampoos. I knew nothing about how to find my hair type, let alone how much it mattered.
To me, as long as I was using products for natural hair, they were one and the same… until I was faced with the reality of shrinkage and failed with every twist-out I tried. After doing a little research (and learning that flourishing curls weren't built in a day), I learned that the golden ticket was knowing my hair type.
What Is My Hair Type? A Guide To Your Natural Hair Curl Pattern
First Things First, What Are The Curly Hair Types?
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When it comes to hair, there are nine different types, according to Naturally Curly. Bone straight hair is Type 1. Wavy hair, a.k.a. Type 2 is broken into three categories 2A, 2B, 2C, with 2A being the loosest and 2C the tightest. Type 3 is curly hair and also divided into three categories: 3A, 3B, and 3C, going from loosest to tightest. The final part, Type 4, is for coily/kinky/afro hair -- 4A, 4B, and 4C. And you guessed it, that also goes from loosest coil pattern to tightest.
Knowing your hair type opens the floodgates of truly caring for your natural hair, whether you wear it out after a wash-and-go or wear protective styles like braids and wigs. Below is everything you need to know about each hair type and how to properly nurture yours.
Type 2A Hair
If your hair has very little volume at the root, is fine, and easy to straighten, you could have Type 2A hair. The good thing about 2A hair is that you can use products like styling foam to add a little extra something at your roots for fuller-looking locks. But you have to be careful using a ton of products. Too much can weigh down your tresses.
Type 2B Hair
Raise your hand if your hair is flatter at the top with S-shaped waves toward the middle. If so, you most likely have Type 2B hair. The strands are typically a little thicker than 2A, making it tougher to straighten. For those who want their loose waves a little more defined, you can use a sea salt hairspray. Be sure to opt for one that doesn't make your hair stiff or crunchy.
Type 2C Hair
Is this you? Your waves are thick and you typically have to navigate through frizzy strands. Unlike Type 2B, 2C hair's waves don't start in the middle. Instead, they're going strong from the root. Experts recommend using a leave-in conditioner to show off your natural pattern.
Type 3A Hair
Your hair has bypassed wavy and is instead a texture complete with large and loose curls. While there are tons of curl creams to use before letting your hair air dry, you want to steer clear of using your hands, a brush, or a comb from loosening your hair. It will definitely have a frizzier outcome than you want. To keep your curls, you can find hair milk or spray to freshen up your curls when needed.
Type 3B Hair
If you have ringlets that spring, 3B is all you. The tricky thing about 3B hair is that it can get a bit drier than other types. So when looking for products, look for humectants so the hair and moisture can mesh properly. Use any product when your hair is wet to avoid any undesired frizziness.
Type 3C Hair
These are curls that are similar to tight corkscrews. With 3C hair, you don't lack volume thanks to your strands being super-close together. Still, frizziness is a problem for you, so be sure to use a co-wash product that's creamier and has no sulfate. It's also best to use a layering mousse (like curling mousse) instead of a defining styling cream when your hair is still wet. This cuts down on drying time.
Type 4A Hair
If you have 4A hair, chances are your hair is full of volume and has springy S-patterned coils. Wash-and-gos are your friend, and a curling cream is a necessity to keep your coils defined.
Type 4B Hair
4B hair is typically defined as a dense pattern featuring zig-zag strands. Because of the thicker strands, it's typically best to use multiple products (one that stretches your strands and another that defines them) for easier styling.
Type 4C Hair
There's a special place in everyone's heart for those with 4C hair. It's said to be one of the most difficult patterns to work with as it's prone to shrinkage, drying out, and has more fragile strands. But unlike some folks out here would like you to believe, 4C hair is not unmanageable, nor is it impossible to style. Using a leave-in moisturizer helps fight the dryness. A stretching product is often used against shrinkage.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images