I think that we all know, in theory, that no matter what we put on our hair, if we want to have a healthy head of it, we’ve got to care about what we put into our bodies as well. That’s because, in order for your strands to be strong and long (if that’s what you’re after), you’ve got to make sure that your hair follicles have the nutrients that they need — and that means making sure that your diet is full of vitamins and minerals that will nurture them.
Since we are knee-deep into fall at this point, let’s get into some foods that are both in season and proven to help your scalp, your follicles, your strands, and your hair goals.
1. Grapes
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Even though grapes are in the produce section year-round, you can definitely tell that they are in season right through here because of how big they are and how sweet they taste. Yeah, this is definitely the best time to put some grapes in the freezer and consume them after they’ve frozen. Anyway, as far as what their overall health benefits are, grapes are good for you because they’re a low-calorie snack that contains protein, fiber, copper (bookmark that), antioxidants, and vitamin K. Not only that, but if you’re looking for a fruit that will help to reduce your cholesterol and blood sugar levels, improve your mood and memory and even help to keep your bones strong, grapes will totally have your back.
And what can grapes do for your hair? Aside from the fact that their high concentration of copper can help to slow down premature graying (check out “This Is How To Naturally Treat Premature Greying”) and certain properties in grapes can also decrease the irritation that is associated with dandruff, the antioxidants in grapes will help to keep free radicals from damaging your hair cells. Not only that, but the vitamin E in grapes will support a healthy scalp and help prevent hair loss, while the melatonin in grapes will help you get a good night’s rest so that your hair cells are able to rejuvenate themselves.
Fall Grape Recipe: The “Autumn Twilight” Grape & Rosemary Cocktail
2. Pumpkin
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Pumpkin is packed with protein, fiber, and a ton of vitamin A. It’s also a good vitamin B-sourced food, and if you need some extra vitamin C or potassium in your system, it can help in those departments as well. Something that I like about this particular fruit (it contains seeds, so…yeah, it’s a fruit) is it’s great for your immunity when it comes to helping to keep colds and the flu at bay. Also, thanks to all of the vitamin A that it has, pumpkins are great at keeping your eyes in a healthy state. Plus, it fights off the kind of bacteria that can ultimately lead to heart disease and certain cancers.
Hair-wise, pumpkin is outstanding because the vitamin C in it will help increase the collagen that will help to prevent hair breakage. Also, some studies reveal that pumpkin (especially pumpkin seeds) helps to block elevated levels of testosterone that can sometimes lead to hair loss. Not to mention the fact that vitamin A also helps strengthen your hair follicles too.
Fall Pumpkin Recipe: Pumpkin Sandwich Rolls
3. Butternut Squash
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It is my personal opinion that if you’ve never had butternut squash soup before, you are truly missing out — well, if your palette likes things that have a bit of a sweet yet nutty taste, that is. Although there are different kinds of winter squash, butternut is certainly one of the most popular. Protein, fiber, an overwhelming amount of vitamin A (a whopping 457 percent of the Reference Daily Intake), various forms of vitamin B, vitamin C, magnesium, manganese, potassium — geeze, no wonder butternut squash is considered to be a superfood!
Again, the vitamin A that’s in it is good for your eye and bone health while the vitamin C that it contains helps to reduce bodily inflammation and boost immunity. Something else that’s worth taking note of with this vegetable is, if you happen to be diabetic, it’s actually a sweet treat that has antidiabetic properties in it. How awesome is that?
There is also vitamin E in butternut squash; that’s dope because that helps with scalp health as far as slowing down premature aging and increasing blood circulation. Vitamin E is also super beneficial when it comes to moisturizing your hair shaft, which always reduces breakage. Plus, vitamin B is a nutrient that both strengthens and moisturizes your hair.
Butternut Squash Fall Recipe: Slow-Cooker Vegan Lentil Chili
4. Brussels Sprouts
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I don’t know about y’all, but I somewhat have a fickle relationship with Brussels sprouts. The reason why I say that is I like them (most) based on how they’re prepared (and who prepares them). I do try to get them into my system around this time of year, though, because they do the body good. As another food that is high in protein, fiber, and antioxidants, it’s a great food for vegetarians and vegans who may be looking for a protein source that doesn’t contain meat.
It’s also a good veggie when it comes to getting some vitamin C and K into your body. Aside from that, Brussels sprouts are really healthy because they help to manage blood sugar levels, reduce inflammation, fill you up with anti-cancer compounds, regulate your blood pressure, and they can also help you to maintain a healthy gut as well.
When it comes to hair growth and retention, vitamin K gets slept on far more than it should. For one thing, it helps to prevent scalp calcification (which is basically when too much calcium gets into your hair follicles and slows down blood flow and nutrients to them), so that you have less of a chance of dealing with brittle hair or even hair loss.
Brussels Sprouts Fall Recipe: Air Fryer Brussels Sprouts
5. Cranberries
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Want a snack that is low in calories and high in hydration? Look no further than a handful (or two) of cranberries. They’ve got fiber and 87 percent water in them. They’re also a fruit that contains vitamins A, C, E, K, and copper, along with a variety of plant compounds. Although it’s probably best known for being a natural way to treat a UTI (urinary tract infection), cranberries are also good for you when it comes to lowering your cholesterol and blood pressure levels, maintaining digestion, and helping to prevent kidney stones and even cavities.
Thanks to the copper that is in cranberries, they also can help to prevent premature graying, and, as far as hair length goes, their antioxidants can help to strengthen your hair follicles. Another cool thing about cranberries is they’re a rich source of potassium, and since hair loss has been linked to potassium deficiency — well, there ya go.
Cranberries Fall Recipe: Cranberry Apple Crisp
6. Cauliflower
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I’m pretty sure we all can agree that if there’s a food that is a vegan favorite, it would have to be cauliflower. Perhaps not so much because of how it tastes when it’s in its rawest form but because it’s been “upcycled” into so many other things like cauliflower rice and even cauliflower pizza crust. In the health benefits department, you can feel good about consuming this vegetable because it’s a good source of fiber, multiple forms of vitamin B, vitamin C, and antioxidants. It’s also a food that helps to fight heart disease, can be of great support if you’re looking to lose weight and the choline that’s in it is great for your metabolism and your cell membranes.
Cauliflower has also been proven to reduce oxidative stress and free radicals, help your body absorb iron better (being low in iron can lead to hair breakage and hair loss), and contain sulfur (which helps to strengthen hair) as well as silicon (which also reduces hair loss), so yes, it’s a great veggie to consider if gaining inches is a top priority for you right now.
Cauliflower Fall Recipe: Garlic-Parmesan Roasted Cauliflower
7. Pears
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There’s nothing like a juicy pear in the middle of the day. Every time you bite into one, you can feel good about it, too, because pears are high in fiber and a good source of copper and potassium. Pears also contain plant compounds that can protect your heart and reduce your chances of being diagnosed with cancer and diabetes. Plus, pears are able to fill your system up with good bacteria and they are great at relieving constipation, too.
Since pears also have vitamin C in them, it can’t be said enough that your locks will benefit from them because vitamin C maintains scalp health, adds strength and shine, boosts collagen, which increases elasticity and even makes your hair shinier.
Pear Fall Recipe: Caramelized Pear French Toast Bake
8. Pomegranates
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If you’re looking to get an unbelievable amount of fiber and protein from one fruit, pomegranates got you. As a bonus, they’re a good source of potassium, folate, vitamin C, and antioxidants. If you happen to deal with some type of chronic inflammation, pomegranates can help to bring you relief. They also have antimicrobial properties that can help you to maintain your oral health. Some other impressive things to take note of, as far as pomegranates are concerned, are they help to protect your brain cells, they can increase endurance for you (as far as workouts and even sex are concerned) and they can improve the level of prostate health in men.
Your tresses will enjoy this fall fruit because the antioxidants that are in it will strengthen your hair follicles as well as increase blood circulation to your scalp so that those follicles are able to receive the nutrients that they need. They are also able to reduce the oxidative stress in your system that can break down collagen which could make your hair brittle and lack flexibility (which can cause breakage).
Pomegranate Fall Recipe: Pomegranate-Glazed Salmon with Oranges, Olives, and Herbs
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Now that you know some autumn-season foods that are able to help your hair thrive, make sure to get a few of them. They’re delicious, they’re healthy and they’re just what your tresses need — from your scalp to your ends. Enjoy!
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RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
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One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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