Every time I masturbate, I can't help but think that God and my ancestors are sitting somewhere in the clouds shaking their heads at my choices in porn. I am a woman of God with a high libido who is not married, leaving me in quite a conundrum and I know that I am not alone in the struggle. Am I dishonoring my faith by touching myself and indulging in self-pleasure? According to Erica Campbell, the answer is yes.
The Mary Mary singer recently appeared on The Breakfast Club to talk about her new book More Than Pretty: Doing the Soul Work that Uncovers Your True Beauty and shared her beliefs on masturbation and self-pleasure and wants you to ask yourself this question next time you pull up the "private" tab on your browser for a midnight dip in the cookie jar:
"Where does God go when you are self-pleasuring? Where does He go? Somebody asked me the question, 'Was it wrong, was it right?' I know some churches say for the bruthas. 'It'll keep you from slipping up. Go ahead and handle yourself. I've heard some women say, 'I take care of myself before I go out on a date.'"
To Erica, purity is more than about going to church and praying, it's about living a lifestyle that honors God; and in her case, that means refraining from self-pleasure altogether:
"I think about purity and purity happens before the actual action of whatever you do. Whatever you watch, whatever you listen to, whatever you do with yourself. Your mind being a place of purity is very crucial. But I think in our society today, everything is sexualized. You could be selling chicken and there will be a pair of boobs there. It's just everywhere. So I think guarding your mind and guarding your thoughts and treating sex and sexuality as something beautiful that God created that's supposed to be beautiful and otherworldly and you come together with somebody and your lives come together. It's not so cheap."
The singer, who has been married to her husband, Warryn Campbell since 2011, said that as a married woman, abiding by this principle has been especially important. While there are a number of studies that suggest the benefits of masturbation in marriage, Erica says that there's no gray area when it comes to the vows you and your said in front of God. She explained:
"I just don't think it's supposed to be done by yourself. I got an amazing, fine, wonderful husband so I just don't have to. I got a husband there. Now, I know for singles, it might be a different story but there are married people who would just rather handle it themselves. And I can't imagine what your husband feels like. Now, I gotta compete with your toys. It's too much."
To masturbate or not to masturbate? That is the question that Erica Campbell says that you and God have to have one-on-one, but ultimately, she believes that every time we achieve the big "O" on our own, we're doing ourselves a disservice:
"That's between you and God but I just think when you are trying to live a pure life, when you are trying to hold yourself and keep yourself, for this beautiful, special wonderful moment or life with a spouse, don't lessen it. Don't cheapen it."
Our plan isn't God's plan, and Erica wants us to know that our handheld vibrators are nowhere in the blueprint.
"I'm not judging nobody. I'm just talking about what God created. And it's always the enemy's job to pervert it, to twist it, to corrupt it, to make it filthy. He gave us free will. We can choose Him or not."
While we may all have our own beliefs when it comes to spirituality and religion, Erica says there is no black-and-white when it comes to self-pleasure in her household for this reason:
"There is a way that is right. There is a way that is honoring God. And the scripture says, there is a way that seems right to man. That doesn't mean that it lines up with what God wants for you. And I feel like God's plan is always a bigger, better, more awesome plan that we can't see and we don't understand but I believe there is greatness in that obedience, in that faith."
What do you think about Erica's comments, do you think masturbating is dishonoring God? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image by Eugene Powers / Shutterstock.com
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I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
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This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
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Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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