It really doesn't matter what book or article you read, what stats you pay attention to, or which counselor you ask—if you want to know what one ofthe leading causes of divorce is, all sources are going to put poor communication at the top of the list.
That makes perfect sense, right? Something that I tend to say often (because it's something that I think a lot of us typically overlook) is, in order to be in a healthy relationship with another individual, you need to pay attention to the root word of relationship. And that is "relate". To relate is to "to bring into or establish association, connection, or relation" and "to establish a social or sympathetic relationship with a person or thing". There's no way you can do that if you're not able to, well, communicate.
Communicate: to impart knowledge of; make known; to give or interchange thoughts, feelings, information, or the like, by writing, speaking, etc.; to express thoughts, feelings, or information easily or effectively; to be joined or connected.
As amarriage life coach, I think a main reason why a lot of peopleend up divorcing is because, making sure that they both are effective communicators, is something that is not focused on nearly enough prior to jumping the broom. There aren't enough conversations that start off with, "Wait? Can we both impart knowledge in a way that the other is able to receive it? Are we able to interchange and express our thoughts and feelings in a respectable way? After we're done talking, do we both feel more joined and connected than we did prior to having the conversation that we just did?" So if you're single—and to me, it's best to consider yourself single until your tax documents say otherwise; you can spare yourself a lot of unnecessary potential drama if you choose to look at it this way—I encourage you to check this article out along with the married folks.
There are a lot of couples who love each other. Still, they can't seem to make their marriage work or last because they haven't been able to figure out how to effectively communicate. And that's due to some of the communication missteps that I've listed below.
OK, so which do y'all want first? The Word or a crazy article that's centered around this very topic? My gut says go with the Bible Scripture first so, here it is—"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman." (Proverbs 21:9—AMPC) Listen, the only way to be triggered by a verse like this is if it somehow applies. I don't know about you, but I've been around nagging women; I've also had times when I've been one. Both sides of the coin are exhausting, so I get where King Solomon was coming from. Now the article. Ready for the title? "I was arrested and locked up for NAGGING my husband: Her marriage became national news when she was thrown in a cell after demanding her other half vacuum the house."
If there's one thing that husbands constantly tell me tops the list of irritants in their marriage, it's being nagged by their wife. I can see why too. Being nagged feels patronizing, condescending and low-key controlling. It's what makes someone feel like a child rather than an adult. And if what you're about to say in response to that is, "Well, when he acts like a child, I treat him like one", in the words of Dr. Phil, "So, how is that working for you?"
If you know nagging is something you could stand to do less of, gift your marriage with a copy ofLove & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and/or check outthis episode of the podcast How Married Are You? that touches on ways to show your husband respect. Although I get why nagging can sometimes be a temptation (like when your man doesn't do something in the time frame that you would like him to), if you stop and pay attention to yourself when you do it, it really is like a verbal version of Chinese water torture. Plus, it tends to breed resentment within your husband more than anything else. Trust me, I've heard that, from many men, more than once.
2. Making Assumptions
A wise person once said, "Don't assume your partner knows about everything you expect in a relationship. Let him know. A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumption." Something that I respect a lot about healthy marriages is the daily surrender that couples make to not try and turn their spouse into a version of themselves. A quote that I say often is by a professional drag racer (among others) by the name of Larry Dixon—"If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary." Translation—you didn't get married to be with a carbon copy of yourself; you got married to someone who will help you to mature and grow. Sometimes, that requires a complete opposite of you (if you're a Christian, some pastors speak pretty eloquently on that very pointhere).
What does all of this even remotely have to do with making assumptions? Well, when it comes to the assumptions that a lot of couples make, what is it oftentimes rooted in? Assuming that your spouse thinks in the same way that you do or that they will operate in the fashion that you do. They are not you. The only way to be sure that you and yours are on the same page is to voice your needs or concerns—and then to get clarity they agree with you.
A lot of marriages suffer due to one or two people who are constantly making assumptions rather than openly communicating. If you make a point to break this one habit alone, you'll be doing your relationship a world of good.
3. Giving the Silent Treatment
It's one thing to need some time to cool off after an argument or to even request a day or two to process a request or some information that you received. But if the silent treatment is all about pouting or grudge-holding, hopefully you just read that line and saw how childish that counterproductive approach can be.
Personally, I think one of the things that I hate the most about this "strategy" is 1) it wastes time and 2) it's also based upon a lot of assumption. While you're out here not speaking to your spouse for 3-4 days at a time, you're assuming that tomorrow is promised. Not only that but the silent treatment is a weird form of crying wolf because, if your partner gets used to you handling issues that way, sooner or later, your silence won't be jarring; it might actually become welcomed and preferred.
Using silence like it's a tug of war in a battle tends to be ineffective, for the most part. So, after cooling down, try and initiate conversation. The sooner things can be worked through, the better off your marriage will be.
4. Talking over the Other Person
I recently watchedan episode of T.I./Tip's podcast ExpediTIously featuring his wife Tameka "Tiny" Harris. Let me just say that the comments were about as interesting as the podcast itself. Although there were definitely moments in the episode that were entertaining, I've got to agree with the commenters—T.I. needed to let his wife talk more. He was cutting her off…a lot. My objective opinion is that he wasn't doing it intentionally or maliciously; he just seemed to really enjoy listening to his own self speak. A lot of us are like that—thinking we're out here having dialogues when they are really monologues.
When it comes to this particular communication faux pas, I'll be the first one to raise my hand in this class and say that God has been looking out for my future husband. How? By making sure that I remained single until I stopped being so eager to get out what I want to say that I also end up cutting off people in the process. I have learned—oh, how I have learned—that one of the best ways to be a good communicator is to listen to what others are saying and then allow them to complete their thoughts. It's even better to take listening up a notch by choosing to process what they shared before responding; if a response is needed/required at all.
When we cut someone off, it's pretty rude. We're basically conveying, "Shut up. What I have to say is far more important." Does that sound like the kind of approach you should take in order for your marriage to flourish?
5. Throwing the Past Up in Each Other’s Face
Not too long ago, I wrote a piece on here entitled "Are You A 'Bad Forgiver'? Read This And See." One sign that you are bad at forgiving is if you continue to live in the past. One way of living in the past is constantly referring to something your spouse did; something that you both already talked through and you've claimed to let go. When it comes to the couples that I have worked with, if there is something that has created quite the wedge between several of them, it's when one of them does something wrong (or even just irritating), their partner claims that all is forgiven, only to throw it up in their face the very next time they do something wrong (or irritating).
When you profess to forgive someone, a part of what you're saying is you're willing to release what happened so that trust can be restored. When you bring it back up, that means you didn't tell the truth and that can make your spouse feel uncomfortable and on edge around you. Why? Because all of us do things that we're not proud of. And, none of us can really heal and move forward, when someone keeps throwing that we've done back at us like it's ammo or something.
This is why I always say that if you're single and you suck at forgiveness, you've got absolutely no business getting married. Because if there is something that you will have to learn to master, almost on a daily basis, it's how to pardon offenses and let ish go. For real, for real go.
6. Being a Know-It-All
One of my friend's husbands. Ugh. He is such a know-it-all. He's that kind of guy who, when you tell him something that he doesn't agree with, he'll email you a long list of stats to disprove your point. Or, when she makes a decision that he doesn't agree with, he'll go behind her to see if she could've done it another way. She just recently told me that they had an argument about postage because he didn't believe what the post office told her. Know-it-alls come off as being mad arrogant. But if you scratch beneath the surface, more times than not, they couldn't be more insecure. They are out here trying to be a walking dictionary, encyclopedia, spiritual book, search engine and sensei, all rolled into one, basically because they need the validation that they are esteemed and valued.
It takes a lot of insight into another person to be able to pick that up, though. And since know-it-alls are so exhausting, they require tons of tolerance too. Before long, folks stop listening and don't really want to hear anything that a know-it-all has to say. Hmph. Talk about a serious breakdown in communication. Besides, what kind of award is given out for being right all of the time? Wouldn't you prefer that your partner actually like being around you than you "winning" all of the time? If you don't,make an appointment with a therapist, quick fast and in a hurry. Your marriage is in a lot more trouble than you probably think that it is. Because it's hard to like a know-it-all; no matter how much you might love them.
7. Having Horrific Timing
Really. When does bad timing ever work? You know that your spouse is in a bad mood, but for some strange reason, you think that then is the time to talk about the problems in your relationship. Or, you know that your spouse has a big project coming up, but while they are working, you want to gripe about your in-laws. There really is no telling how many arguments could be spared if husbands and wives were simply more sensitive when it comes to timing. All timing requires is paying attention to your spouse's words and body language, and then applying patience when it comes to deciding when it is a good time to bring something up…or not.
Speaking of timing, something that I think men and women, in general, could stand to work on, is how they approach each other at the end of the work day. A husband once told me that a man has to mentally "shift gears" from work to home. I believe the same thing applies to wives. So, rather than hitting your spouse at the door with all that needs to be done, how about giving them 20-30 minutes of space in order to "recalibrate" from what was going on at the office to what is needed in the house? This is one tip that can be really effective when it comes to applying good timing in communication.
8. Not Being “Tone Sensitive”
Hey, take it how you wanna, but there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace that co-sign on the fact that men are quite sensitive to tone. Two that immediately come to mind are "No, Women's Voices Are Not Easier to Understand Than Men's Voices" and "Healthy Living: Study says guys naturally can't hear women's voices". If you're curious about why this is the case, according to science, due to our higher register and the more melodic tones in our voice (speaking and otherwise), men have to tap into a different part of their brain in order to fully decipher what we are saying. So, if while you're talking, your man asks you to repeat himself, there's a good chance that he's not ignoring you; he literally didn't pick up on all that you were saying.
Which makes this a good public service reminder that, when it comes to healthy communication, indeed, it is not just about what we say but how we say it. Yelling or screaming not only raises the tension in a conversation but it can cause an even further breakdown in relaying thoughts, ideas and needs. Like it or not, science says so.
9. Talking to Others Before Each Other
I know it's such a controversial topic. "It" being if your spouse should be your best friend or not. But let me offer up a perspective for why my vote is "yes". Do you remember that scene in the movie Brown Sugar when Dre quit his job and he told Sidney about it first? Not his wife Reese; his best friend Sidney. Do you also recall how offended Reese was about that? Remember how, when she finally confronted Sidney about her and Dre's intimacy that she said that she had to fight for all of the information that Sidney already knew? Reese didn't imply she thought that Dre and Sidney were having sex. No, she was threatened by something else—emotional intimacy.
Now, please hear me when I say that I am not the person who thinks that, once you get married, your spouse should be your all and everything. That's not a partner; that is an idol. Of course, you should have friends (if there are healthy boundaries and mutual respect, this includesfriends of the opposite sex). But when you signed up for marriage, you signed up for your spouse to be a true partner and confidante. This means that, unless you are going to someone else first about a marital issue so that you can get a clear and healthy perspective, you really should talk to your spouse before anyone else when it pertains to things that are about them or things that will directly impact y'all's relationship.
No one gets married in order for their spouse's friends to be all up in their business. Anyone who believes otherwise is setting themselves up to either have a partner who doesn't share everything or ends up building up walls due to a lack of trust. Neither of these are good outcomes.
10. Hitting Below the Belt
To me, one of the most beautiful things about marriage is you've committed your life to someone who knows the good, bad and ugly about you. The challenge in marriage is being mature enough to not weaponize the bad and ugly, just to prove a point or "win" an argument. Bottom line, whoever came up with that "sticks and stones" statement is a liar. Words do hurt, and sometimes the wounds last much longer than we think that they will.
So, no matter how much your spouse gets on your nerves or totally pisses you off, never go so low that it attacks their vulnerabilities, self-image or fears. You are supposed to be a safe place for them. You are supposed to be the one who they can communicate any and everything without getting damaged in the process. Always remember that.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
For years, studying
zodiac sign compatibility has been a fascinating journey for those who want to understand the dynamics of their relationships better. Between the first date debates of Cheesecake Factory vs. coffee shops, we truly understand that sometimes looking to a higher power to guide you on who to date sounds like a good idea. So, it is no surprise that people often turn to Astrology to gain insights into their compatibility with others.
Since no one covers dating, love and relationships, and sex as we do at xoNecole, this guide will delve into the intriguing world of zodiac sign compatibility. Here is everything you want to know about how each sign interacts with others, how the planets impact compatibility and what are the most and least compatible zodiac signs.
Zodiac Compatibility Chart
(March 21-April 19)
(April 20-May 20)
(May 21-June 20)
(June 21-July 22)
(July 23-August 22)
(August 23-September 22)
(September 23-October 22)
(October 23-November 21)
(November 22-December 21)
(December 22-January 19)
(January 20-February 18)
(February 19-March 20)
Table of Contents
- The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
- Cusp Signs and Compatibility
- What Makes Someone's Zodiac Sign Compatible
- Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
- The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Love Matches by Sun Sign
- Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Opposite Signs and Compatibility
The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
But there is more to zodiac compatibility than just your sign. Even if you are slightly into Astrology, you’ve heard of the sun, moon, and rising signs. This is also called the "Big Three" referring to the three essential components of an individual's birth chart.
These components provide insights into their personality, emotions, and outward demeanor. Together, they offer a comprehensive view of a person's astrological profile, shedding light on various aspects of their life and character.
The Sun Sign
- Represents the core of one's identity
- Governs one's ego, basic personality, and life purpose
- Determines one's zodiac sign (e.g., Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc.)
- Reflects the conscious self and how one expresses themselves
Your sun sign is the most well-known aspect of your Astrology chart. It represents the essence of your being, your fundamental motivations, and your core personality traits. When people ask, "What's your sign?" they usually refer to your sun sign.
- Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
- Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
- Leo (July 23 - August 22)
- Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
- Libra (September 23 - October 22)
- Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
- Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
- Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
- Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
- Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
For example, if your sun sign is Leo, you will likely exhibit traits associated with Leo, such as confidence, creativity, and a natural flair for leadership. Your sun sign is like the spotlight that shines on your outer self, revealing who you are to the world.
Astro expert Avalldar Astrology says, "For many people, the Sun will not necessarily be the most influential placement when it comes to romantic compatibility, precisely because we have entire charts that we need to look at in order to see all the dynamics at play between all the planets."
The Moon Sign
- Represents one's emotional nature, instincts, and subconscious mind
- Governs emotional reactions, feelings, and inner desires
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the Moon's position at birth
- Reflects the inner, emotional self and how one processes emotions
While the sun sign represents your conscious self, the moon sign delves into your emotional world. It provides insights into your innermost feelings, reactions, and instincts. Your moon sign influences how you respond emotionally to various situations and process your inner world.
For example, if your moon sign is Cancer, you may be deeply sensitive, nurturing, and strongly connected to your family. Your moon sign can reveal why you react emotionally in specific ways and what brings you emotional fulfillment.
The Rising Sign (Ascendant)
- Represents the mask or persona you present to the world
- Governs your outward behavior, first impressions, and physical appearance
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the position of the Ascendant at birth
- Reflects the way you interact with the world and your immediate environment
The rising sign, also known as the Ascendant, is the sign that was on the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It represents the image or facade you project to others, your first impression, and your approach to the world. It's often described as the "mask" you wear in public.
For instance, if your rising sign is Virgo, you may come across as organized, detail-oriented, and practical when you meet new people. Your rising sign influences your appearance and how you present yourself.
Cusp Signs and Compatibility
Now let’s explore more about cusp signs and what that means for your compatibility. Cusp signs occur when an individual's sun sign is near the beginning or end of a zodiac sign, resulting in a blend of characteristics from both signs. Think Cancer (June 21 - July 22) sign born right at the end of the zodiac date of July 22.
For example, if someone is born on March 21, their sun sign would be Aries, but they are on the cusp of Pisces and Aries because the zodiac sign changes from Pisces to Aries on or around March 20. As a result, cusp individuals often exhibit traits from both adjacent signs.
When it comes to cusp signs, compatibility can be as intricate as the sun, moon, and rising signs. A few things to consider when thinking about dating someone who is on the cusp are shared traits, open communication, and individual variability. Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Cusp individuals may benefit from openly discussing their unique blend of traits with potential partners to foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings.
What Makes Someone’s Zodiac Sign Compatible?
First, know there are so many different types of Astrology, and different astrologers use different combinations, formulas, and theories to draw their conclusions for compatibility. In general, zodiac sign compatibility is the idea that particular signs are naturally more compatible due to their shared traits, while others may clash.
However, one way to get a better sense of compatibility, at least outside of the zodiac signs, is by examining the elements (fire, earth, air, water), modality ( cardinal, fixed, mutable), and extensively, aspects (conjunctions, trine, squares, and sextiles extensively).
Sounds confusing? We know, so let us explain.
The Elements of the Zodiac: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water
There are four elements in Astrology: fire, earth, air, and water. Signs of the same element often share common characteristics and are more likely to get along.
While signs within the same element tend to have good compatibility, there can also be strong connections between signs from complementary elements. For example, fire and air signs often get along well due to their shared enthusiasm and communication skills. Similarly, earth and water signs can form deep emotional bonds.
Zodiac Compatibility in Sex and Friendship
Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Characteristics and Qualities: Fire signs are known for their passion and energy while also being adventurous and impulsive.
Sex Compatibility: Due to that passion and energy, when two fire signs come together, their sexual connection can be intense and filled with excitement.
Friendship Compatibility: Their enthusiasm and energy will continue to drive the enjoyment of adventurous and dynamic friendships with fellow fire signs.
Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Characteristics and Qualities:Earth signs are typically grounded and practical and are characterized as patient and reliable.
Sex Compatibility: Earth signs are sensual and grounded. They appreciate physical touch and connection. Physical intimacy tends to be fulfilling and harmonious in relationships between earth signs. A Taurus is focused on pleasure, and a Virgo is focused on pleasing, so this is a good match for both of them.
Friendship Compatibility: Earth signs value stability and practicality. They tend to form grounded and dependable friendships with other earth signs.
Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.
Characteristics and Qualities: Often described as intellectual, communicative, social, and flexible.
Sex Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy mental stimulation. For them, communication is a key aspect of sexual compatibility. When two air signs connect, their mental rapport can enhance their sexual experiences.
Friendship Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy stimulating conversations. They often have intellectually engaging friendships with fellow air signs
Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.
Sex Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They seek deep emotional connections in their relationships, which can translate into profoundly satisfying sexual experiences when two water signs come together.
Friendship Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They tend to form deep and empathetic connections in their friendships with other water signs.
Quality aka Modalities
To take it a step further, let’s explore quality. Also known as modality, this refers to the mode of operation or the primary style of a zodiac sign. Each sign is categorized into one of three modalities: cardinal, fixed, or mutable, which describe the sign's general approach to life and how it interacts with the world.
- Cardinal Signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn): If your sign is cardinal, you're likely seen as a natural leader or initiator. You're often the person who starts projects, comes up with new ideas, and leads others towards a goal. You're dynamic and proactive but might need help with following through as you're always looking toward the next big thing.
- Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): Being a fixed sign means you're seen as stable, reliable, and persistent. You're the person who sees things through to the end, displaying remarkable resilience and determination. You excel in maintaining and nurturing projects or relationships but may sometimes be perceived as stubborn or resistant to change.
- Mutable Signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces): If you're a mutable sign, adaptability is your forte. You're flexible and versatile, able to adjust to new situations with ease. You're the person who can go with the flow and make the best out of changing circumstances. However, this can also mean you might find it hard to stick to decisions or be seen as inconsistent.
Aspects in Astrology are about the angles formed between planets in your birth chart, reflecting the interactions between different parts of your personality. These aspects can be harmonious or challenging, shaping your character and life experiences.
- Conjunctions (0 degrees): When two planets align closely, their energies merge and intensify, creating a focal point of power or tension in a birth chart. This can be harmonious or challenging, depending on the planets involved.
- Squares (90 degrees): Representing challenges and obstacles, squares force us out of our comfort zone, propelling us towards growth through struggle and resistance. This also indicates challenges or internal conflicts and learning through overcoming obstacles.
- Trines (120 degrees): The trine is a flow of energy that brings ease and harmony, highlighting natural talents and facilitating effortless success in the areas affected. This aspect often reflects your talents or areas where you succeed with little effort.
Examples include Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius ( fire signs), as we mentioned above, so it comes as no surprise these signs are compatible.
- Sextiles (60 degrees): The aspect is when the planets are about two planets apart. This harmonious angle can be opportunities presenting chances for growth and learning. They require some effort to utilize but generally support your progress.
For example just to name a few, Aries sextiles Gemini and Aquarius. Taurus sextiles Cancer and Pisces. Gemini sextiles Aries and Leo. And Cancer sextiles Taurus and Virgo.
- Oppositions (180 degrees): Have you ever heard of the phrase opposites attract? Here, planets sit across from each other, creating a tug-of-war effect that can lead to tension but can also lead to significant personal growth through understanding opposing viewpoints. This aspect shows tension or conflicting interests, bringing out the need for balance and compromise.
Overall, understanding these concepts can offer a more nuanced view of your zodiac sign, revealing strengths, weaknesses, and potential growth areas. It can help you understand why you might gravitate towards certain behaviors or patterns in life and how you can use this knowledge for personal development and better relationships with others.
Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
So, what do the planets have to do with compatibility among zodiac signs? As we mentioned, a harmonious aspect (like a trine or sextile) between these planets in two individuals' birth charts can indicate strong compatibility, while challenging aspects (like squares or oppositions) might point to areas of growth, tension, or conflict.
The Sun- the very essence of our being. In relationships, it reflects our basic personality, our ego, and our core identity. When sun signs are compatible, it often indicates a natural understanding and appreciation of each other's fundamental nature, a key ingredient for lasting connections.
Sign it governs: Leo
The Moon- the realm of emotions, instincts, and the subconscious. Moon sign compatibility delves deeper, beyond the surface level of interactions, touching the heart of our emotional needs and nurturing instincts. A harmonious moon sign connection can mean a deeply satisfying emotional rapport and understanding, a feeling of "coming home" when you're with your partner.
Sign it governs: Cancer
Mercury- the planet of communication. Mercury’s influence dictates how we think and communicate, which is essential in understanding and resolving conflicts in relationships. Compatible Mercury signs often find a natural flow in conversation, understanding each other's thought processes and perspectives with ease.
Sign it governs: Gemini and Virgo
Venus - the goddess of love and beauty, representing how we express love and what we seek in relationships. Venus sign compatibility is a key player in romantic attraction and shared values in love, dictating the harmony in how love is given and received.
Signs it governs: Taurus and Libra
Mars - the planet of action and desire. Mars influences our drive, our passions, and, yes, our sexual energy. Compatible Mars signs can lead to a fiery and dynamic connection, full of passion and vitality.
Sign it governs: Aries
Jupiter - the planet of luck and expansion. Jupiter's influence in a relationship can signify growth, optimism, and a sense of adventure, bringing a joyous and expanding quality to the bond.
Sign it governs: Sagittarius
Saturn - the teacher, representing discipline, responsibility, and long-term commitments. Saturn's role in compatibility is often about the durability and seriousness of the relationship, ensuring that the bond is not just fleeting passion but has the strength to endure challenges.
Sign it governs: Capricorn
The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
1. Leo and Libra
When Leo and Libra are together, they are almost always the center of attention! With Leo being ruled by the Sun, they know how to satisfy the Libra's desire to be appreciated and reassured. With Libra being ruled by Venus, they know how to shower Leo with the love and attention that they deserve. Both Leo and Libra know how to bring out each other's true star power and help each other grow into their best selves.
2. Scorpio and Pisces
The watery pair of Scorpio and Pisces just instantly understand each other. Although not many others can match Scorpio's intense and passionate energy, Pisces is almost always up for the task! These two are able to be truly vulnerable with each other and appreciate the depth of their connection. Pisces' intuitive side always knows how to break through Scorpio's barriers and immediately knows how to comfort them. Scorpio challenges Pisces to take a walk on the wild side; Pisces encourages Scorpio to be themselves.
3. Aquarius and Sagittarius
Aquarius and Sagittarius never have a dull moment with each other! Sagittarians are always in pursuit of knowledge and live for adventure. Aquarians love to discover the most unique subjects and are always down for a good debate. This pair knows how to mentally stimulate each other. Although they both value their independence, they know how to effectively divide and conquer. They both enjoy learning from each other and helping each other explore new territories.
4. Taurus and Cancer
With Cancer's protective nature and Taurus' romantic tendencies, these two are one of the most loving couples ever! Tauruses help Cancers to ground themselves and provide them with the comfort and stability that they crave. Cancers help Tauruses get comfortable with expressing their emotional sides and make them feel appreciated. This couple is the epitome of the phrase, "Home is where the heart is." They truly understand how to make the other feel at peace and how to cater to each other's love languages.
5. Virgo and Capricorn
Virgo and Capricorn are the power couple of the zodiac! These two earth signs know how to get things done when they are together and can truly motivate each other. They both want to see each other win and will supply each other with the encouragement that they need. Virgo and Capricorn almost instantly bond over their witty sense of humor and their intellect. Virgo shows Capricorn how to appreciate the small things in life; Capricorn shows Virgo how to see the bigger picture from a new perspective.
6. Aries and Gemini
When Aries and Gemini are together, the conversation almost never stops! These two know how to keep things going and will always be the life of the party. The passion between these two signs is almost unmatched! Aries knows how to perfectly capture Gemini's attention and keep the relationship fresh. The Gemini values all of the Aries' complexities and knows exactly how to keep their fire alive. Gemini teaches Aries that life does not have to always be so serious. Even as a couple, these two are genuinely the best of friends!
Love Matches by Each Sun Sign
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Best Matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Aquarius, Libra
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Best Matches: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Pisces, Scorpio
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Best Matches: Libra, Aquarius, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Read More: Gemini Woman And Leo Man Love Compatibility
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Best Matches: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Best Matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Best Matches: Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Best Matches: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo
Good Matches: Aries, Sagittarius
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Best Matches: Cancer, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Best Matches: Aries, Leo, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Best Matches: Gemini, Libra, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Best Matches: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
So you’ve read all about how you should analyze which zodiac sign is the most compatible for you. But what about signs you should avoid? For these, not only do the zodiacs come into play, but also the elements and modalities of each. Here are the least compatible zodiac signs.
1. Sagittarius and Taurus
Sagittarius and Taurus incompatibility is more obvious than most matches on this list. Sagittarius wants to be on a plane, and Taurus wants to be at home. Taurus wants tangible results, and Sagittarius finds happiness in exploring the mind and different ideals. This pairing isn’t the most compatible because they both want very different things in life, not to mention they are always at a different pace.
2. Scorpio and Gemini
Scorpio and Gemini together create chaos. Although they have a lot of fun together, this pairing is better off seen in a working environment, rather than a romantic one. The thing about Scorpio and Gemini is that they don’t get each other. It’s hard to understand where the other person is coming from, which often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings between them.
3. Aquarius and Cancer
Aquarius and Cancer rarely get involved romantically together, as this pairing does better in a friendship than a relationship. Cancer can seem like too much for aloof Aquarius, and Aquarius can be too in their head for Cancer’s heart-centered, emotional energy. Cancer tends to be intrigued by Aquarius. However, the relationship is usually one-sided. Cancer will often feel like they are giving their all, but that is never enough for Aquarius, who may acknowledge Cancer’s efforts, but at the end of the day, it’s not what Aquarius needs to feel fulfilled romantically.
4. Capricorn and Leo
Capricorn and Leo have too many power struggles and ego conflicts in order to make the relationship peaceful and positive. Disagreements often arise within this partnership, and they have to work especially hard for the relationship to progress and grow. The thing about this couple is that Leo wants to be adored and cherished, and Capricorn isn’t about the theatrics.
Capricorn likes to take things slow and gradually evolve as a couple, whereas if Leo isn’t getting everything they need right away, they will feel let down and unloved. In order for this partnership to work, there needs to be compromise and honesty about what is expected within the relationship.
5. Libra and Virgo
Now, this pairing is on the list of least compatible because they are constantly questioning where each other stands and are rarely on the same page. This isn’t a complete disaster for a relationship, but it’s definitely not the top recommended either. The thing about Libra is that they don’t really get Virgo and Virgo’s meticulous thought process. Virgo feels the same way about Libra and thinks they spend too much time on things that aren’t as important to Virgo.
Communication can be good here as they are both more mentally active signs. However, Libra tends to be someone that Virgo never seems to fully grasp. They are both nurturing individuals, but in a relationship, they tend to feel like they aren’t getting what they need.
Opposite Signs and Compatibility aka Sister Signs
Ever wondered why you are attracted to someone completely opposite then you? This can be explained by the term sister signs. A sister sign is the zodiac sign located in the exact opposite position of your sign on the zodiac wheel. The relationship between opposite signs can be either soulmate energy or very challenging if both parties aren’t willing to look at their reflection and learn from each other.
The sister signs in Astrology are:
- Aries and Libra
- Taurus and Scorpio
- Gemini and Sagittarius
- Cancer and Capricorn
- Leo and Aquarius
- Virgo and Pisces
For example, with a Gemini, this pairing is all about having fun and expressing themselves. Gemini and Sagittarius, in many other pairings, often feel misunderstood, but these two match energy. Being both explorers of life, Gemini’s inner curiosity and Sagittarius’ need to know more make for not only good conversation but exciting experiences together as well.
Is An “Incompatible” Relationship Based on Zodiac Signs Doomed?
It's a myth that certain zodiac signs are destined to be incompatible. While your natal chart might reveal challenging dynamics, it doesn't dictate the success or failure of a relationship. Instead, it provides insights into areas where you might need to exert more effort or make adaptations. Understanding this can help you navigate relationships more effectively, regardless of astrological compatibility.
Rather than viewing your chart solely for compatibility, use it as a tool for deeper self-understanding. Focusing on planets like Venus, Jupiter, or the Moon can reveal key aspects of how you seek emotional comfort and express love.
For instance, the Moon's placement can indicate your emotional needs and comforts, while Venus may reveal how you prefer to give and receive love. Jupiter, on the other hand, sheds light on the ways you feel most comfortable in providing for your partner. Recognizing these aspects can help couples understand their values and find common ground.
While astrology can provide valuable insights into potential compatibility, it's essential to remember that real relationships are complex and multifaceted. Finding your cosmic match is not solely determined by your zodiac sign but by shared values, communication, and understanding. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationships, and let the stars be a guiding light rather than a strict rule.
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During the 2024 Emmy Awards, Niecy Nash delivered an inspiring acceptance speech that left the audience in awe. She declared the best investment one can make is in themselves, leading to the greatest decision she ever made. This statement resonates with many of us as we strive to achieve our goals and dreams. As a Black woman in Hollywood or corporate America, navigating the workplace can be overwhelming. Like any journey, there are ebbs and flows. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone.
Women in the workplace face unique challenges that can make it difficult to lead in their most authentic way. Fortunately, there are individuals like Odessa "OJ" Jenkins, the CEO of Bonfire Women, who are taking on the challenge of cultivating a more inclusive, supportive, and winning workplace culture.
As a trailblazer for women in football and the founder of The Women's Football Club, OJ is a Hall of Famer, a 7x National Champion, a 2x USA Football Team captain, and a 3x Team USA Gold Medalist. The football champion spoke with xoNecoleto provide critical tools and insights for both aspiring leaders and experienced professionals. She emphasizes the importance of being paid your worth and establishing best practices to receive proper recognition, especially in the face of adversity.
Because remember, it's your season to win!
xoNecole: What three lessons would you impart to women who strive to redefine success in the workplace so it won't crush their souls?
Odessa Jenkins: First, remind yourself that success is within you, not something that gets defined for you. Once you can answer the question, 'What do I want?' defining success becomes easier. It's not what the world wants for you, but what do you want?
Secondly, lose fear and ask for what you need and want. I think the idea for many women is that we are afraid. We limit ourselves because we haven't achieved or don't see ourselves in certain positions. We're afraid to be the first. We're afraid to make mistakes. Just lose all fear and ask for what you need and want.
Lastly, to realize the power of a woman. Realize that you have, as a result of being a woman in the world, experienced adversity like no one else has. That you have the power to multiply like no one else does inherently. Lean in on those very real powers to get ahead in the workplace and the world.
xoN: Have you ever been in a position that has crushed your soul?
OJ: I don't think I've ever had my soul crushed because I don't think I've ever let the world have that much of me. I have been disappointed, both disappointed in myself and in the system. I can think of moments in my career where I didn't go after something I knew I could have achieved because I didn't see a person like me doing it. I can admit there are times when I let someone talk me out of taking a risk because they were afraid and not because I was.
Then there are moments, and continue to be, where I can see progress in the system. I can see sisters getting opportunities at work and the face of work and industries changing. But I also see this war on inclusion happening because things are changing in the workplace, and opportunities are becoming more equitable. While I get excited about that, I'm also still very disappointed in it.
xoN: In a recent interview, you stated, "Nothing has prepared me for executive leadership more than my time as an athlete and coach." Why is that?
OJ: Adversity and resilience. When you are an athlete and grow up as a team sport athlete, you get reminded over and over of two things: your role and your responsibility. So you get transparent about accountability. But you also get challenged daily, build courage, and build resilience. You practice it. You practice what would happen if things got harder for you; how would you overcome them?
Sports is uniquely positioned in that. How often do you get to practice what happens if something doesn't go your way, and then you get to redo it? It's not something that most people get to do. Usually, you study, take the test, fail or pass, and then move on to the next test. Well, sports isn't that way.
Instead, you practice, learn, engage with your team, and learn how to communicate. You practice the failure, you practice the success, you practice what happens if you don't, you practice having a tie. I believe those things build resilience and courage in you that are useful as a woman in executive leadership. If you are going to be particularly a woman of color in the leadership ranks in today's workplace, you must have abundant resilience and courage because you are usually sitting in virtual rooms where you are the only one.
xoN: Absolutely! And how important do you think it is in promoting transparency and vulnerability in leadership?
OJ: Transparency equals trust, and gaining trust amongst your team is critical to success because you can't know what to do with your resources, wins, losses, or plans. It's a tool you must have and always use in your toolbox as a leader. The vulnerability comes in waves. You need to know when and how it's comfortable for you to be vulnerable. You have to know what the right level of vulnerability is for you. Generally, if you're vulnerable, other people are vulnerable too. It creates this very brave and safe space, and that's how you get stuff done as a leader.
xoN: As an executive leader in coaching and helping equip women for success, what are some common challenges you've witnessed women overcome in breaking down the boys' club in corporate leadership?
OJ: One of the first things you must do to break down some of these work barriers and unlock opportunities at work is to start with yourself—the willingness to go outside your comfort zone. To know when and how to share your opinions and points of view to create influence and allyship, even when you're not in the room.
But then it starts with not going at it alone. How are you networking? How are you creating a community around you? What does the sisterhood and brotherhood look like for you at work? How intentional are you being about that? That is another way to unlock it. Also, unlocking the door is one thing, but propping it open and leaving a ladder when you get there is another. I'd be remiss not to say I think things would move faster for women in the workplace if some women would get out of the way. We have to be intentional about making space and creating equity for other women and be unapologetic about it.
xoN: Can you offer negotiation tips to help women reach their salary potential and minimize pay equity?
OJ: Do your research, and don't be afraid to ask. There are a lot of tools online, but there are also a lot of tools in your network. Also, know your number. A lot of people don't know what their number is. Please don't make it mathematical because it's not about asking for 10% more than you thought, than you were offered, or some arbitrary thing. If you are familiar with the work and have researched, then figure out the right number post-offer that will make you feel valued. Not right now, not yesterday, but for doing this job for the next 12 months.
And there's nothing wrong with negotiating. It is table stakes for having a conversation. It's something that should be expected. If you have an employer who finds it offensive that you've negotiated your salary or are willing to share your value, you're probably talking to the wrong employer.
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