Oftentimes, sex is discussed in a way that's limited to relationships, drama, medical research, or shame. And we all know there's more to sex, especially when we're talking about something that is so important to not only the survival of mankind but to our thriving in existence as women.
And with something so important, there's certainly a need for more of us to serve as leaders in empowering ourselves and one another. We can use our voices, intelligence, and savvy for professional fulfillment in a way that informs, serves, and forges much-needed progress toward a more healthy, sex-positive world.
If you're down for all of that, here are a few career paths to consider in the realms of sex and intimacy:
Romance Writer
If you're great at storytelling and always wanted to write about sex and intimacy, romance writing might be the perfect job for you. And it doesn't have to be 2,000-page books. You could write freelance stories for publications, scripts for films and TV shows, or copy for brands. The salary can be as much as $100,000 a year depending on the nature of the writing and the project.
Intimacy Coach
Not to be confused with a sex therapist, this job is for people who want to coach others who seek to learn more about themselves or their partners when it comes to intimate connections (which go well beyond the physical act of sex). It explores issues including emotional connection and can involve activities and insights that focus more on the mental aspect of sexual attraction than the physical.
Being an intimacy coach can also include coverage of topics like self-awareness, self-love, self-pleasuring, and types of sexuality cues that can lead to healthy sex. Average yearly salaries start at $54,000, and can range based on experience, education, certifications, and training.
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Sex Therapist
This is a job that requires a master's degree and licensing. If you're into counseling and want to work with reputable organizations (or start your own practice), the educational route is the most ideal. You could serve single women and men, couples, families, or organizations through this job, and the average salary starts at about $84,000.
Pole Dance Fitness Instructor
This is sexy, sultry, and fun, all while ensuring your clients or participants stay fit. Whether you teach classes at a local YMCA or other gym franchise or teach your own classes from the comfort of your home or private gym, this is a great flex option where you could earn more than $60,000 a year. Not only has pole dance fitness been found to help women tap into intimacy and confidence, but it's a great precursor to spicing up anybody's time in the bedroom with their bae.
Relationship & Sex Columnist
Similar to the romance writer gig, this is something you could do if you already have experience writing or if you're a lover of all things sex education. Publications are always looking for fresh, intelligent, and unique voices on topics like sex and relationships, especially since that sort of content, while taboo in some circles, can be a huge draw (in the form of traffic and ad dollars) and can open up much-needed dialogue their audiences are craving. The average yearly salary for a relationship and sex columinist can start at $62,000 and goes up depending on your experience, the audience you can bring to the table, and the reach of the publication.
Human Sexuality Researcher
If you geek out when studying and observing all that encompasses sex, from the mind to the body, a role as a human sexuality researcher is your best shot. Researchers of this kind can find work within almost any company or organization in the areas of tech, healthcare, education, and nonprofits, and you can earn a starting annual salary of $57,000 and on up into six figures. This is a great opportunity for advocacy and balancing the scales with more solid, balanced, up-to-date, and reputable research to affect legislation, medical practices, medical theory, and consumer marketing, especially related to minority and underserved communities.
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Sexual Health Nurse
You can earn $72,000 a year or more as a sexual health nurse, and it's perfect for nurses who are passionate about advocating for patients and creating safe spaces when it comes to reproductive, maternal, and sexual health. (And as Black women, we need more of us in these spaces, especially with the unfair, biased, and discriminatory disparities we face in the healthcare system as it relates to our wombs and sex lives.)
Sex Education Professor
You'll need a master's degree or Ph.D. to be a sex education professor, and it's awesome if you're into molding and shaping minds when it comes to sexual health, theory, and research. You can also earn more than $62,000 a year at this gig, working for universities or private institutions. You could take this a bit further into consulting and offer your insights, training, or expertise to school systems and other large institutions.
Sex Toy Tester
This job seems like a wild card, but it does, indeed, exist. Salaries for testing vibrators, swings, and other sex toys have ranged from upwards of $36,000, and some pay by the hour. It might be more of a part-time or flex option, but if you can get multiple gigs, it's definitely something to consider, especially if you have quite a bit of downtime and are open to trying the latest gadgets.
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When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
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Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
In 2004, following their split, limited details about why Usher and Chilli broke up were released to the public. But as the years progressed, social media users developed their own assumptions because, coincidently, around the time Usher and Chilli went their separate ways, he had released his hit album Confessions, and the lead single with the same name talks about a man admitting to possibly fathering a child outside of his relationship.
Due to conflicting reports from past interviews and Usher's song, many believed that infidelity on the "Yeah" singer's part could have led to the demise of his union with Chilli. In a recent interview with People magazine, Chilli --who is currently dating actor Matthew Lawrence-- opened up about her ex, how their relationship didn't necessarily end in 2004 despite it being announced to the public, and why she officially severed ties with him in 2019.
Chilli (L) and Usher (R)
Photo by KMazur/WireImage
Chilli On Her Past Relationship With Usher
During the discussion that took place earlier this month, the 52-year-old revealed that she and Usher were initially attracted to each other because of their intense chemistry.
But over the years, as their union evolved, Chilli realized that the pair was "different" and that the initial chemistry they once shared only occurred when they were working.
"We definitely had some chemistry. But working chemistry does not mean it works in your personal life. If we were working, it was great. But outside of that, we're so different," she said.
Chilli would add that even though her relationship with Usher looked great to the public, it didn't work the first time around because the "Burn" vocalist failed to meet certain requirements.
"It looked great, but in real life ... he knew he had to be a certain way with me, and he couldn't," she continued.
Chilli also disclosed that Usher's album Confessions wasn't about her and that their split in 2004 was due to opposing values and trust issues.
Still, Usher and Chilli would rekindle their union privately on and off for years when they weren't exclusively seeing other people. The "Unpretty" songstress explained the reason behind it was because they couldn't "get over" each other.
"I love hard. I was like, 'God, why can't I get over this?' He couldn't either," she stated.
Chilli On Why She Cut Contact With Usher In 2019
But all that would change in 2019 when Chilli, guided by her faith, cut off all contact with Usher because she wanted to "focus on" herself.
In addition to no longer speaking to the "Glu" singer, the mother of one decided not to date temporarily because she didn't want her past relationship with Usher to ruin her chances with a potential suitor.
"I even stopped dating. Because before that I thought if I met the right guy during that time that I wasn't over [Usher] it wouldn't work. I would never want to straddle the fence, " she said.
Toward the end of the conversation, Chilli shares that she had "no hard feelings" against Usher, who is now with Jenn Goicoechea, a senior vice president of A&R and Epic Records.
Chilli's recent admission about Usher and having to cut ties with an ex to find her significant other could motivate others to follow the same steps or at least re-evaluate the situation.
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