Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker are one of Hollywood’s sexiest couples and they have one of the most revered marriages. The couple met on the set of the TV series Soul Food and got married years later in 2005. They share two children, Sophie 17, and Nicholas 15, and have continued to be a positive example of what a healthy relationship looks like. In an interview with Essence, the Brown Sugar stars opened up about their family and how they’ve maintained their beautiful union.
One of the ways that their family stays connected is by having traditional family dinners. “Every night we have dinner together—-no phones, no nothing,” Boris said. “It’s just us cooking and then we’ll have dinner together. And we talk about everything. In the last three years with the various pandemics, it was important for us to connect and have that space and that time.”
Staying connected is important for the actors. They have often collaborated with one another on projects such as their short-lived talk show TheBoris & Nicole Show and more recently the Lifetime movie Safe Space which Nicole starred and Boris directed. Outside of work, they also make sure to carve out time for just the two of them.
“We do lots of traveling. I think that’s been our love language. We travel so well together,” said Nicole. “And he’s from Germany and Ghana, so when the kids came, we were a traveling family. We would go to see their grandma and their grandfather. It was really part of our lives.”
“I think also, we’re trying to slowly–you might be the first to know this–do what they all say about that morning breath work together. We haven’t perfected it. It sometimes ends with laughing. It doesn’t have to be long, but we’re slowly trying to breathe together.”
Boris added, “My sister-in-law is a breath coach, Nicole Kodjoe. You can check her out on Instagram. She’s an amazing breath coach who’s taught us a lot about breathing and the healing properties of that.”
Breathing together is one of the ways they share intimacy. With their busy schedules, Boris acting, producing and directing, and Nicole joining the Sex and the City spin-off And Just Like That, they make it their mission to always find time for each other and that’s what makes their marriage work.
“I think that we are continuously evolving and getting to know each other even better. It’s trial by error. It’s putting effort in every single day, it’s work, but I found my person,” Boris admitted. “So there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to share my life with her. So yeah, I think that that would be it. To continue to get to know each other better, more intimately, and deeper. And more joyfully as well.”
2003
Actress Nicole Ari Parker and actor Boris Kodjoe attend Showtime's Pre-Golden Globe Party on January 24, 2004.
Giulio Marcocchi/Getty Images
2004
Actors Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker attend the 2004 Black Entertainment Awards.
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
2006
Boris Kodjoe and wife Nicole Ari Parker at the Los Angeles premiere of 'Madea's Family Reunion.'
Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage
2007
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe
George Pimentel/WireImage for Classic Entertainment Group
2008
Nicole Ari Parker and husband actor Boris Kodjoe arrive at the unveiling of Tyler Perry Studios on October 4, 2008.
Moses Robinson/WireImage
2010
Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage
2011
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the 2011 InStyle And Warner Bros. 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards post-party.
Lester Cohen/WireImage
2013
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend BET's 'Real Husbands of Hollywood' Wrap Dinner at Xen Lounge.
Maury Phillips/Getty Images for BET
2014
Nicole Ari Parker Kodjoe and husband Boris Kodjoe arrive at the Premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures and IMAX Entertainment's 'Island Of Lemurs: Madagascar.'
Angela Weiss/Getty Images
2015
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend the 2015 BET Awards at the Microsoft Theater.
Earl Gibson/BET/Getty Images for BET
2016
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe, and Nicolas Neruda Kodjoe attend HollyRod Foundation's DesignCare Gala.
Tiffany Rose/Getty Images for HollyRod Foundation
2017
Nicole Ari Parker (L) and Boris Kodjoe attend the premiere of Sony Pictures' 'Smurfs: The Lost Village.'
David Livingston/Getty Images
2018
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend Rock The Runway presented by Children's Miracle Network Hospitals at Avalon.
Michael Tullberg/Getty Images
2021
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe attend HBO Max's 'And Just Like That' New York Premiere.
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
2022
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe arrive at the amfAR Cannes Gala 2022.
Kevin Tachman/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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