7 Types Of Men To Avoid At All Costs
Chances are you have a favorite food, a favorite color, or a favorite restaurant. By design, our brains are programmed to gravitate towards things we like. If this is true, is it too far-fetched to believe that you have a favorite type of man, too? If you're like me, you've probably dated your fair share of a particular type of guy.
Perhaps you're attracted to a clean-cut, fresh face or maybe you like a man with a bit of an edge. There's a popular saying that, "the heart wants what the heart wants," but what if our dating preference is causing us to stay in unhealthy dating patterns?
To offer an assist, below are 7 types of men you should avoid at all costs and how to spot them before they spot you.
1.The Center of Attention
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Also known as the narcissist, you won't have a problem spotting him, at all. Chances are, you'll actually hear this guy before you see him. Or maybe he's someone you've heard of from around the way. As their moniker indicates, these men love attention so they'll likely work in an industry where it's necessary to keep up appearances. Oftentimes, they aspire to be a local celebrity in your area, a club promoter or entertainer of some sort, maybe even an athlete.
Since it's normally them that's getting attention, you'll feel special when he directs his attention towards you. But don't be fooled, girlfriend. This guy thrives on attention and it'll only be a matter of time before he grows tired of sharing the spotlight with you and seeks out someone else to replenish his narcissistic supply.
2.The Ghost
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At first glance, this guy will sweep you off your feet with romantic gestures and sweet messages. In the beginning, the Ghost may pour on the PDA (public displays of affection) in hopes that you'll reciprocate...um, privately, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, for most guys that ghost women, that's their mode of operation and the ultimate goal is sex. This is why they're absolute charmers in the beginning. In fact, their ultimate goal is to charm the panties right off of you.
They prefer to pour it on thick, and they can afford to do this because they don't have intentions of sticking around for too long. Ghosts tend to be repeat offenders. As I learned from personal experience, if they ghost you once, they'll ghost you again.
3.The Mama's Boy
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The Mama's Boy is kind of tricky because he may come off as super in touch with his sensitive side which can be super attractive. You may find it refreshing that he has a soft side, while also being secure enough in his manhood. He may tell you how he has huge respect for women because he was raised by a single mother, grandmother, or that he is super close with his sisters. But these could be tale-tell signs that this dude is codependent on a maternal parent, ipso facto, his mama. While it may not be obvious to the untrained eye, there are certain precautions that you should heed.
For example, if your guy expects you to do certain things like cooking his dinner, doing his laundry, and running his bath, he may be viewing you in a motherly manner instead of a wife. Now, it's one thing to feel like you're catering to your man--which I have no problem doing--but it's quite another to feel like you're raising a child. Steer clear of this dude, otherwise, you'll end up being his mother. Or his maid.
4.The Liar
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The truth is we all lie at some point, but not all lies are created equally. If this man's words seem too good to be true, take heed to the old adage because he probably is. A liar will often make plans and promises that he can't keep. According to an article in Psychology Today, people lie for one or two reasons: to avoid something or to gain something. At the core, lying is a way to manipulate people without using physical force.
Steer clear of The Liar by recognizing 10 common phrases that liars use most often. The number one sign that he's lying to you is that he'll be inconsistent in everything he says or does. Why? Because he can't keep up with all the lies he's told so he's constantly inventing new stories to cover his tracks.
5.The Baller
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Cardi said, "Broke boys don't deserve no kitty," so then she must mean we should be dating a baller, right? Wrong. Now I'm not telling you not to date a man who's financially well off. What I will tell you is that dating a man with money comes with implications. For example, a man that has a bag may expect that you are easily impressed and that could lead to him trying to buy your attention. Another behavior that could be a problem is the idea that some guys believe in "paying the cost, to be the boss." In other words, he feels entitled to certain behaviors, such as cheating, so long as he providing for you.
Ballers are usually easy to spot because they're always showing their money. He may be overly loud, both verbally and figuratively speaking. You may recognize these guys by the loud music they play, heavy cologne, or excessive jewelry as these are all indicators of his flamboyant lifestyle.
6.The Smooth Talker
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This guy is like a master angler, tossing his net to scoop up as many fish as he possibly can. How does he do it? With his charm and good looks. Don't be confused that this guy is labeled as a smooth talker. While his secret weapon lies in his words, it may not be words you're thinking of. Come-on phrases to compliment you by commenting on your looks and beauty are standard, but the smooth talker excels in his ability to make you laugh. Yes, that's right.
A 2015 study found the more times a man could make a woman laugh, the more likely she was to want to date him. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then it may be safe to say the way to a woman's heart is through laughter. Beware of the guy whose words and demeanor seem too good to be true.
7.The Control Freak
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It's a man that can take the lead, for me. Yes, girlfriend, a man who knows how to take charge can be a major turn-on. But, a man who wants to control everything from where you have dinner to what you'll wear to dinner is a different story. You may be fascinated by his manly presence, initially, but be careful if confidence turns into obsessive,controlling behavior. If what once attracted you to him now makes you feel uneasy, it may be time to part ways. Has his temper gotten shorter? Does he use his "intelligence" or "concern" to manipulate you? This can be dangerous territory if he makes you think his actions are because he has your best interest at heart when really he's using it to control you. He may be "really good with money" and so he starts to manage yours. Or he convinces you he's putting you up on game about "dudes in the streets" so you don't get played.
You should steer clear of anyone who demands you no longer associate with your friends or wants to isolate you from your family. If you recognize this is happening in your relationship, seek professional help, or better yet, leave. This, seemingly innocent behavior can be problematic and lead to mental and/or physical abuse.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
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Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
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When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED