If the Internet hasn’t taught us anything else, it’s that some people have no clue how to conduct themselves in public. If you’re young, say in your early teens, it’s okay for a little while. But soon you’re going to run out of excuses for being ratchet. Especially if you absolutely need to make a lasting impression for a job, a school entrance interview, or your own wedding.
That’s where Carolyn Powery, of The Etiquette and Image Institute of Florida, steps in to save the day. Carolyn is a professional etiquette coach in West Palm Beach, Fla., and I was lucky enough to get a chance to speak with her about Millennials and manners. Carolyn has experience with business and social etiquette, and had gems of wisdom to offer those who have no clue how to handle themselves with grace and style.
According to Carolyn, there are many benefits to using etiquette, including a boost of confidence, improved self esteem and relationships, and it could possibly lead to more leadership positions. Even CEOs with tattoos and piercings have to know how to conduct themselves when it comes to making business moves.
Here are some pointers that Carolyn says may help you along your journey.
Business etiquette
1. Prepare for networking events as you would a job interview.
“At least have an idea of who will be (at a networking event) beforehand so you can be prepared. Have an idea of who you want to work with, and the reason why. Building relationships is the name of the game in networking, and could earn you millions of dollars. It is about listening and learning about the other person, and not you dominating the conversation. Connect with three people, and follow up with them."
2. Dress for success.
“Make sure that when you go to a networking event, dress professionally. A first impression is a lasting impression. It takes less than seven seconds for someone to figure out if they want to do business with you.
Millennials are relaxed and trendy, but the trending and casual look is not appropriate for all settings. Ladies should avoid wearing stilettos at a business meeting. Your walk should exude grace, and confidence.
"A first impression is a lasting impression. People judge you before you open your mouth.
[Tweet "It takes less than seven seconds for an individual to determine if they want to do business with you."]
How you choose to dress tells employers a lot about you, whether you are serious about getting the job, if you would be a good representation for the company, or if they think it’s worth investing in you. 95% of employers said a jobseeker's personal appearance affected their opinion of the applicant's suitability for the job. Dressing professionally will give you a boost of self-confidence, and a competitive edge. So make it count if you have to make an impression."
3. Always be punctual.
“It’s very important that you’re punctual, because you never know who is observing you.
The people who have the advantage (at most networking events) are the ones who are there on time. A lot of times at networking events, the CEO, or other [department heads] in the company, may be there for a short time because they may have another function to attend. If you get there late, you may miss your opportunity.”
4. Good posture, firm handshake, eye contact.
“A firm handshake and eye contact makes a difference,” Carolyn says, a handshake communicates that you are either confident or a wimp. “Have a smile, good posture, a firm handshake, make eye contact, say your full name - not a nickname - and repeat the other person’s name. A CFO, once shared with me that a person can have an impeccable resume, but a dead fish handshake will cost them a job."
5. Your business cards make a difference, too.
“Your business card is a representation of you and your brand. When you present a business card, the address should be facing the person you’re giving it to, and you should have a business card holder as well. Do not treat your business cards like you're giving out free coupons. You only want to distribute business cards to individuals you want to do business with.”
6. Eat before job interviews or networking events.
“A lot of times at a networking event, food is provided. Don’t go there thinking you’re going to have a full course meal...and don’t stand by the food table. Networking is for connecting, If you’re hungry, eat something light before you arrive to avoid over eating.”
7. Send a thank you card.
“If you’ve connected with someone you wanted to connect with [at a networking event], or someone connected you with [the head of a company], show your gratitude for the connection by making a call, sending a handwritten thank you note or email. [These gesture] can create long [lasting relationships]."
8. Watch how you conduct yourself at office parties.
“Don’t drink too much, even though you’re not on the clock, you’re still being watched, and you could end up drinking yourself out of a job. Dress for the occasion - not to sexy, not to casual. Make sure you mingle at the party, participate in activities, and be prepared for small talk.
Avoid subjects that center around politics and religion. Those discussion can get pretty heated. People feel very strong about those subjects, and you don't want to cause a fight."
Life etiquette
9. There is a time and place to use your cell phone.
"Cell phone technology brings out the worst and the best in people. There are many cell phone faux pas committed daily, [and there are] people talking loudly [on their phones] in public places [all the time], such as banks, business meetings, and doctors offices, to name a few. The only exception [to using a cell phone] during a business meeting is if someone is in the hospital, or your wife is pregnant and going into labor soon. Prior to the meeting, just let the person in charge of the meeting know that you may have to excuse yourself to answer the phone.”
Another cell phone violation is text messaging to the point that you are not aware of the people around you, causing a [foot] traffic jam."
10. If you’re a single parent, don’t bring home a man/woman you don’t plan to marry.
"I think it’s very important that as a single parent, you should not introduce your children early on in a dating relationship, or bring a date to your home when you're not sure where the relationship is going to go. You have to keep your children’s emotional well being in mind, because kids can attach very easily. This decision could result in confusion."
11. Don’t show up to the party empty handed.
“I think it’s rude, and you should take something to show your appreciation.
Even if the person says you don’t have to bring anything, it’s still polite to bring something. It could be desert, a flower, chocolate, or wine. Also, don't take home the unopened wine that you brought to the dinner party."
12. You don’t have to photograph or video record everything.
“Unless you’re the official photographer for an event, please remember that you don’t need to record everything that happens. Especially at weddings. The bride and groom have spent thousands of dollars planning for their special day. Your self appointment as the photographer shows a lack of respect.”
13. Respond to an RSVP invite.
“It’s important that you respond promptly. If something comes up at the last minute, such as not being able to attend the wedding, you should apologize, and send them a gift. Especially if you end up canceling after the bride and groom have included you in their wedding cost.”
Social media etiquette
14. Don’t break up with someone on social media.
“It’s a big no no to break up with someone over social media. Have enough respect to talk to the person face to face. That way you get a sense of the person's emotions.
“Also, putting your dirty laundry [online] for everyone to see can cause animosity. With people adding in their two cents, it gets bigger, like a snowball effect.”
15. No vague social media posts.
“That could open the door to people DM’ing you private messages [that you don’t want]. It's best to address the person directly, rather than second guessing, because miscommunication could be the culprit."
16. Don’t start social media fights.
[Tweet ""People need to learn to express themselves without insulting other people.""] Keep in mind that everyone’s opinion is important, and you should not take it personal. Respect other people’s
opinion, and agree to disagree.”
17. Watch what you post.
“Posting inappropriate photos of yourself, and using bad language, can affect you socially and professionally. There is a high percentage of employers looking at social media pages. A potential employer or [or your current employer] may see your social media page, and see something that could be offensive, and they wouldn’t want you to represent their company."
“In fact, 96% of businesses are participating in social media marketing. That’s why it’s important to be careful about what you post. Don’t go on social media and complain or criticize your job. You need to keep it to yourself and maintain professionalism."
____________________________________________
Carolyn Powery is a national etiquette coach, author, trainer and speaker. She is the coauthor of Madam CEO: How to Think and Act Like a Chief Executive; coauthor of Boys to Men: A Guide for African American Boys, and has been featured in Southern Lady Magazine, Palm Beach Today International Magazine and NBC 6 in the Mix [South Florida].
Some of her clients include The Mosaic Group, The Jewish Community Center of the Greater Palm Beaches, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Delta Academy, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Men of Tomorrow, Girl Scouts of Southeast Florida, and more. Connect with her online at theetiquetteandimageinstituteofflorida.com
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Boris Kodjoe Knew Nicole Ari Parker Was 'The One'—Even When She Was Married To Someone Else
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe are the epitome of Black Hollywood love goals, blending romance, resilience, and partnership into a bond that has stood the test of time. From their serendipitous meeting on the set of Soul Food to nearly two decades of marriage, the couple's love story is one of mutual respect, unwavering support, and undeniable chemistry.
Boris opened up about their “meet-cute” while chatting with Jemele Hill on her podcast Jemele Unbothered. The Austrian-born German actor always knew it was Nicole for him. Boris told Jemele, “I knew she was my person, but she was still struggling a little bit because she was like, ‘Yeah, you know, he’s a model, blah, blah. He’s an actor, blah, blah.’ She was trying to tell herself I’m not the one, but I knew, I knew.”
One new fun fact we learned was that Nicole was married and Boris was also in a relationship. That didn’t bother Boris though because when you know, you know.
“It started getting tricky when the second year, second season [of Soul Food], I think, when the whole entire crew was over us. The whole crew was like, ‘Y’all mfs, you better get that together because we know. Are you guys blind?’”
He went on to say, “Then one day I walked in a trailer and I said to her, ‘By the way, we are gonna be married with two kids one day.’ And I just walked out. That didn’t go over very well. She was mad. She was mad for three weeks. But think about it—why was she mad though? Why was she mad? Because she was right. If it was just a joke to her, she would’ve just laughed and moved on.”
They decided to take a break from each other over the summer after Soul Food wrapped. But the universe had other plans, just two weeks later, they found themselves working together again on the set of Brown Sugar in New York.
Together, they’ve navigated parenthood, launched business ventures, and become advocates for health and wellness, all while keeping their connection strong. Their journey is a beautiful reminder that true love thrives on teamwork, trust, and a shared vision for the future.
The 'Soul Food' cast members in 2000: Darrin Henson, Rockmond Dunbar, (back row) Boris Kodjoe, Nicole Ari Parker, Vanessa Williams, (middle row) Malinda Williams and Aaron Meeks (foreground)
Ken Hively/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images
2000:
First Meeting: Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe met on the set of the Showtime series Soul Food, where they played on-screen love interests. Their chemistry both on- and off-screen sparked a real-life romance. During his interview with Jemele Hill, he said, “When I first got there, I was the newbie. It was my first job. Super excited, super nervous. And she was unbelievable—actress on stage, movies, TV, everything. But she really embraced me. She was super nice to me. I remember that—super heartwarming and nice.”
He continued, “She really helped me a lot—breaking down the scripts, explaining to me what was going on. I had a million questions. When I read the script, half the stuff I didn’t understand, right? Because there were colloquialisms, there were references to old TV shows that I’d never seen in my life. So I would always come to her and ask her about certain things that I was supposed to say, and I didn’t know what it meant.”
2005:
Engagement: Boris proposed to Nicole, marking a significant step in their relationship.
Marriage: The couple tied the knot on May 21, 2005, in an intimate ceremony in Gundelfingen, Germany, Boris's homeland. Kodjoe and Parker exchanged vows in his hometown of Gundelfingen, Germany, in 2005 at a 900-year-old venue. They told People, “We walked from the church to his Oma's house, and it was literally like we were Hansel and Gretel. I thought I was in a storybook.” The newlyweds arrived at the church in a horse and carriage donning traditional German garb.
First Child: The couple welcomed their first child, Sophie Tei-Naaki Lee Kodjoe, who was born with spina bifida. Her condition inspired their advocacy for health awareness.
2006:
Advocacy Work: Boris and Nicole became active in raising awareness about spina bifida and supporting families with children who have special needs. “We have gone through so many different emotional levels with Sophie,” Boris told PEOPLE. “We had the fear of her dying to paralysis. All kinds of different monsters attacked us.” The couple's personal journey led them to establish the Sophie's Voice Foundation.
The organization's mission is to increase awareness about spina bifida and generate financial support for a groundbreaking new surgical procedure trial.
2007:
Second Child: Their son, Nicolas Neruda Kodjoe, was born, completing their family. In 2015, Boris celebrated his baby boy on Instagram saying, “You brighten up the sky for us every single day. When God sought me out to be your dad he blessed me with so much love and light. I'm honored and excited to be in your presence and to witness the evolution of Nico.”
2010s:
Power Couple Status: Nicole and Boris became known as a Hollywood power couple, balancing their thriving careers with family life and public appearances. They often shared insights into their marriage and parenting on social media and in interviews. The Real House Husbands of Hollywood alum shared this advice, “[Treat] your wife like she's still your girlfriend. You have to water the plant every day, not just once a week. [Give her] surprises, little gifts, notes, texts, flowers. Just little things, but do them consistently."
Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe in 2010.
Jean Baptiste Lacroix/WireImage
2015:
10th Wedding Anniversary: The couple celebrated a decade of marriage, frequently sharing their gratitude for each other in public forums.
To celebrate, Nicole shared a love letter in German (that we have translated in English) to her forever love:
You are EVERYTHING
Corinthians said it would be.
Patient
Kind
Free of envy
Does not boast
Humble
Not easily angered
Keeping no record of wrongs.
You protect, trust and persevere.
You are EVERYTHING your fans think you are.
Ridiculously fine.
With clothes.
Without.
Takes care of his kids.
Good to his wife.
Respects his Mama.
Handles his business.
You are EVERYTHNG I ever hoped for
Strong.
Deep.
Kind.
Connected to his Spirit.
Funny.
Smells good. (heyy)
Travel companion
Focused on what matters.
Provider.
Good father.
King.
Together we have filled a decade with
Laughter and adventure,
Tears and trials,
Kids and chaos,
Deep connections and communication breakdowns,
Fried Chicken and schnitzel…
Holding each other up and having each other’s back all along the way.
I am so blessed to call you my husband for these past 10 years
and I am so ready for 10 more.
Truly, Madly, Deeply, Your Nicole.
2018:
Fitness Venture: Nicole and Boris launched KOFIT, a wellness app focused on fitness and healthy living, showcasing their shared passion for holistic health. Nicole and Boris Kodjoe's fitness app aims to help families prioritize health and wellness without sacrificing precious time. The app offers quick and easy exercises and meditations that can be completed in as little as five minutes per day, making it accessible for busy families.
The app features instructional videos led by the fit couple themselves, along with contributions from Boris' brother Pat, a certified personal trainer, and his wife, a seasoned yoga practitioner. The Kodjoe-Parker children also make appearances in the app, adding a fun and engaging element for families to enjoy together.
2019:
In a 2019 interview with PEOPLE, Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe expressed their admiration for each other. “He's exactly who his persona is, kind, loves being a husband and father. An incredible human being who thinks of others. He's just authentically good.” Boris added, "She's drop-dead, smashingly gorgeous and sexy. She's intelligent. She's confident. The fact that she's so comfortable with who she is, that to me is everything."
Nicole Ari Parker, Boris Kodjoe, and family in 2019.
Rachel Murray/Getty Images for City Year Los Angeles
2020:
Lockdown Life: During the COVID-19 pandemic, the couple’s humorous social media posts about their relationship resonated with fans. Nicole jokingly complained about Boris not flirting with her, sparking a viral discussion about romance in long-term marriages.
2022:
Marriage Wisdom: They shared their secrets with Ebonyto keeping the spark alive in their relationship after nearly two decades, emphasizing communication, mutual respect, and adaptability. The couple attributes “kissing for no reason, surprise daycations, and spiritual check-ins” as tried-and-true tips for keeping the fire alive in your relationship throughout all of the chaos.
2023:
In February 2023, the couple revitalized Gymwrap, Parker's athleisure brand. Originally conceived by the actress years prior as a solution for workout headbands, the brand has since expanded under Parker and Kodjoe's leadership to include a wider range of accessories, jackets, tops, and leggings.
"I admire her and her brain for how creative she is and the ideas that she comes up with. I'm in awe when I just watch her navigate these kinds of environments," Boris shared with PEOPLE. The family collaborated to relaunch the brand, with Sophie contributing her production and photography skills.
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Featured image by Kevin Tachman/amfAR/Getty Images for amfAR