
Robert Christopher Riley is hot off the screen just as much as he is on.
Scroll through his Instagram and photos of his chocolate abs and well-groomed beard may have you salivating at work. Amongst his 121,000 followers are women commenting, "Jesus why is he so perfect?" and "He's my #MCM (man crush Monday) every week." One would assume that all of this praise and celebrity would go to Riley's head. However, having known him for several years, prior to the premiere of Hit The Floor, he remains just as humble and gracious as ever.
The star of VH1's nearly too hot for TV scripted series Hit The Floor plays Terrence Wall, a pro-ball player and professional thirst trap--and just our luck, most of his scenes require him to be shirtless. The series follows the lives of “The Devil Girls," a fictional professional dance team for pro basketball team Los Angeles Devils, as they navigate the cut throat world of sports and entertainment. After two successful seasons, the series went on an impromptu hiatus and won't return until 2016, however, the break hasn't fazed Riley who is beyond busy running two companies focused on production and photography.
Before stepping onto the Hollywood scene, the classically trained thespian received his Masters in Fine Arts from Ohio University and spent time on Broadway as an understudy for Terrence Howard in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, which also starred Phylicia Rashad and James Earl Jones. When Riley made his transition into television, his first role was on Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Having already lived a full and exciting life in his 20s, Riley has a wealth of wisdom to share with xoNecole readers about having personal and professional success in your 30s. If you ladies are wondering if Riley is single, yes, he is. Feel free to slide into his DMs, but you have to come correct.
"You need a certain level of intelligence that's closely akin to mine just so neither of us feels inferior to each other," he says. "We need to have relatively the same amount of book and street smarts. At this point in my life she needs to be capable of raising a family. And I'm not talking about her cooking and cleaning for me when I get home, I can do those things."
Whoa! Mind blown--an educated man with two degrees who's an entrepreneur that also cooks and cleans...yes, please! What else is Riley looking for in a relationship? Keep reading on…
xoNecole: What did your mother teach you about relationships and how does that play a role in the type of women you pursue?
RR: My mother led more by example. We never sat down and had the “birds and the bees" conversation. She was a very strong and independent woman; she did everything for herself because it was no one else to do it for her. She left my father when I was maybe two years old because he was abusive and not a good man by my standards of what a man is supposed to be. Looking at my mother as an example of what a woman is capable of unfortunately has created some very high expectations for the women I've dated.
If I think you're beautiful, that's step one. You've got to be willing to do what it takes to raise a family and for me it's about playing whatever role is necessary. Sometimes the father is the comforting one and sometimes the mother has to be stern. There are some households where the women is the breadwinner and whoever is involved in that relationship can't make the other person feel like shit because they make less.
I'm single right now, but I'm also not interested in just dating for the sake of it. As my great aunt would say, "Everybody needs a little comfort,' but don't mistake comfort for your life partner."
At this point in my life if I'm going to associate with someone, there's going to be some major questions within the first couple dates that if they aren't answered properly we either have to figure it out or it isn't going to work.
xoNecole: What's your advice for women who are ready for a relationship but keep meeting guys who say they're too busy on their “hustle" and their “grind" to date.
RR: Appreciate their honesty! Whether you're a man or a woman, if you're not ready for a relationship, don't do it! A lot of people confuse what they want with what they need. You may want a boyfriend and someone to share your world with, but that may not be what you need right now. What you need is someone who's supportive, who's happy with you doing what's best for you, which sometimes means letting you go. It's sad, but they might be doing you a favor.
I would love to be in a relationship right now, but if the person wasn't exactly what I needed, it would be like a sandbag weighing me down. You don't want to unnecessarily concern yourself with someone that won't add value to your life. There are other ways to surround yourself with people who will give you the same support you think you need from a romantic relationship. Surround yourself with genuine people that you know will always have your back and that doesn't necessarily have to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. That mindset definitely takes some getting used to, and it might mean some lonely nights, but I'll take that as opposed to getting attached to the wrong person. You have to think big picture whenever you get sad and lonely but there are few people that I know who get married at a young age that are still together because you don't know who you are; some people do, God Bless them. But most people don't.
[Tweet "You need time to figure yourself out before you can add someone else to the equation."]
xoNecole: So many actors have the assumption that once they secure a leading role on a TV show, they're financially set. Can you give some insight on the importance of saving your money as well as continuing to hustle during your show's hiatus?
RR: You've got to figure out something to do that doesn't involve you waiting for someone else. For me it's my production company, Hollywood Massive, and my photography company, Fresh Perspectives. Hit The Floor has been great. Season two aired in 2014. We had a marathon in January but the new season isn't premiering until 2016.
For the fans that still love the show and are waiting for it to come back, God bless you. We're hoping that you'll still be there. Undoubtedly we'll have to get a whole new crop of new fans, run some more marathons of seasons one and two and hopefully get people re-interested and re-acclimated to the show. You can't count your chickens before they hatch.
xoNecole: So once an actor books a show they shouldn't buy a house and a Lamborghini?
RR: Nope! And it takes a while to figure that out. Because chances are, if you're like the majority of us, you've spent so long trying to get your big break that once it happens, you just want to celebrate. A lot of people don't understand why these rappers and athletes are throwing money in peoples faces, making it rain in clubs and buying so much expensive stuff; it's because they've spent their entire lives not doing it and now they're like, 'it's my turn!' Oftentimes, that's what gets you into some financial trouble. It's so much easier said than done to realize that things aren't financially solid once you get on a TV show. Now if you've been on a series for several seasons then it gets picked up in syndication and you get one of those checks, that's a different story. But that person may also have a family and other responsibilities and still need other sources of income.
For younger actors who haven't gotten to that particular point in their career that they've been dreaming about, realize that it's a very long road, don't be too quick to celebrate. Being successful is one thing but it's being a “celebrity" that'll get you in trouble. I always put “celebrity" in air quotes when I'm talking about myself. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm a regular person, I just have an interesting job that people like. The best thing you can do as an up-and-coming actor, whenever you decide that you've made it, is take sixty seconds to realize you don't own the network. They could stop running the show whenever they want they can also not hire you back. No one is bigger than any series; understand that this is a business and you have to be prepared for the ups and the downs. You have to realize who you are and what you've been sent here to do and hopefully, it's a little bit bigger than just entertaining people.
xoNecole: What is “Hollywood Massive" and why was it important to you to help people of Afro-Caribbean descent get in touch with their roots?
RR: Hollywood Massive is a production company and a movement. I'm [a] first-generation American. My mom is from Trinidad and my father was from Barbados. Not to long ago, I was trying to figure out what made me the happiest and also what made me different and it turned out to be the same thing, the fact that I'm Caribbean! It was Soca, it was Carnival, curry chicken, ginger beer and all these different things that I loved growing up. Between public school and college, I felt like the love of my culture was thrown on the back burner. It's not that I was pretending, but I felt like I was hiding a part of myself. So now I'm sharing it with people. I know so many people that aren't Caribbean that love the culture and I wanted to share it with as many people as possible-- appreciation without appropriation.
My company produces carnivals, we will cover cultural events and I use my platform as a “celebrity" to bring this movement to an audience that hasn't previously had this experience. I'm striving to be a bridge and stretch my arms as wide as I can and bring a lot of different people together while simultaneously making people proud of me. If there's one young person in Trinidad or Barbados that thinks they can make something of themselves as a result of me, I'm all for that. I also represent Flatbush, and I want to give kids in Brooklyn some one to look up to.
xoNecole: What are some things you know for sure about resilience and perseverance that you would share would someone that's in the midst of a challenging time?
RR: Stay off of social media. It can make you feel like you're not worth anything, like you're not making enough of the right moves. As a photographer, I know a photo is literally a moment in someone's life, you don't know what it took to get there. The person posing in front of the expensive car may be behind on their payments. You don't if the person showing off their nice house can really afford it, it might be going into foreclosure. Don't worry about what someone else is doing; focus on the competition against yourself. If someone tells you your dream is too big, chances are they couldn't do it themselves.
Believe in yourself and make sure your team is strong, take inventory and cut dead weight whenever necessary.
At the end of the day you should be able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of what you've done. Make sure you're not doing it just for you because when you're gone what's left? Are you just working towards getting a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame? Work towards building a school or mentor some kids, give some type of reciprocation to the world. You don't have to be rich to do something charitable, you just have to understand your power as a human being then go do something impactful.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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While doing a podcast interview a couple of weeks ago, when I said my age, the interviewer complimented me by saying that what I said is not what they would’ve guessed. When they asked what the secret was, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Oh, I’m gonna take me a nap.”
I adore sleep. I’ve said before that it’s like what Six Flags is to some people. And really, it’s just a plus that there are so many health benefits from getting plenty of rest. Beauty-wise, science does reveal that getting no less than seven hours a night can slow down signs of aging. Know what else? There are some direct things that sleep — and the lack thereof — can do to your immunity as well.
And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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