

Here I am. Ready to discuss something that a lot of us think about yet aren't necessarily or entirely comfortable with discussing — the smell of our coochie. First, let me say that anything that has to do with what makes us a woman is something that we should be cool with talking about (straight up). Then let me add that before getting into these 10 points, if you are trying to make your vagina smell like a bed of roses or a fruit basket, that is never gonna happen. The reality is our vaginas house a ton of bacteria — both good and bad. This means that sometimes it's gonna smell a little on the sour side (like tangy-like). Other times, it may smell like a copper penny (like around our periods). Other times, it may mimic molasses; still not a big deal. The main thing to look out for is a fishy odor or an ammonia-like scent. If this is the case, that typically points to an infection of some sort (one you should see your doctor about).
However, if the smell you're currently dealing with is more in the lane of body odor (which usually happens due to a lot of trapped sweat which is why you should almost always wear cotton undies) or one that is just not-so-fresh, I've got a few things that can help to get things back on track, so that you can feel more confident about how things are looking — well, smelling — down below.
1. Balance Your Vagina’s pH
When it comes to this point in particular, I actually just recently wrote an entire article on it. If you check out "Sis, This Is How To Keep Your Vagina's pH Balanced" on our platform, you can learn more about what a pH balance actually is, things that can throw it way off and how to get it "back to the middle" (cue India. Arie). For now, I'll just say that when it comes to keeping your vagina smelling like it's supposed to, a lot of the other "hacks" that I'm about to share wouldn't be all that necessary if your pH level is straight. However, the following nine can play a direct and significant role in helping to make that happen, so let's keep going.
2. Eat Less of Sulfur Foods
Sulfur is interesting in the sense that it's a chemical in your body that helps your system to produce various amino acids. Because of this, it's beneficial in fighting dandruff, relieving allergy-related symptoms, lowering high cholesterol levels, clearing up acne, helping to unclog arteries and so much more. That's the good part. The downside is it can cause your vagina to smell not so great because sulfur has a bit of a bad egg smell due to some of the compounds that it oftentimes contains. For this reason, eating a ton of foods that have sulfur in it could make your vagina smell a little on the unpleasant side. So, if you're a huge fan of stuff like onions, garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, kale, eggs, walnuts, beef or turkey — while I'm not saying to go without these foods (because they are also really good for you), if you sense that your vagina isn't smelling so great, scale back and see what happens. Less sulfur in your system might just be the key.
3. Consume Kefir
Gee. I wish I had become a fan of kefir a lot earlier in life because, now that it's a part of my diet, I can really tell the difference.
If you're not familiar with what it is, kefir is a fermented food (in drink form) that has the texture and consistency of liquid yogurt yet a probiotic content (two to 10 billion colony-forming units compared to the mere 50 million that's in yogurt) that is totally off of the chain. This is good to know because, within your vagina, there is both good and bad bacteria. When the bad bacteria takes over, not only can that result in irritating health issues like a yeast infection, it can also cause odors from that area to arise.
So, whether you choose to drink kefir straight or do something like pour it into a smoothie, try and add it to your regimen. Like I said, I have and have absolutely no regrets.
4. Snack on Pineapples and Watermelon
Speaking of consuming things that will make your vagina smell better, anything that will help to give your immune system a boost is always a good idea — including foods that are loaded with Vitamin C. The reason why I specifically listed pineapple and watermelon here is because they both are great at promoting gut health (which also helps your vagina to smell good and healthy). Also, while your vagina will never taste like a pint of ice cream (it wasn't designed to), the extra antioxidants in both of these fruits can help it seem, just a little bit on the sweeter side.
5. Take a Neem Oil Supplement
Something else that you might want to consider doing is taking a neem oil supplement.
Neem is a natural herb that has some pretty potent antifungal, antiviral and antibacterial properties in it. This is good to know because, when it comes to your vagina, not only can it help to speed up the healing process of STDs such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes (it doesn't replace antibiotics, it just helps your system to recover faster), it can also help to protect vaginal infections from occurring — ones that could result in your vagina being not so fresh.
While some people like to soak in neem leaves or drink it in tea form, another route is to take a neem oil supplement. As a bonus, the fatty acids in it can help your skin to glow as it fights aging signs.
6. Use a Menstrual Cup
Although I used to wear them in college and a part of my 20s, on this side of wisdom, I'm not a fan of tampons. Like my mother used to oftentimes say, "that blood is designed to flow out". Indeed. As far as pads go, besides all of those fibers not being the best for the environment, they can actually be the cause of vaginal odor during our cycle. While I was in my 40s before I got a hold of a menstrual cup, it really has been life-changing for me. It's comfortable. There's far less leaking. And I don't smell a thing. So, if you've yet to try one, maybe this will be the lil' push that you need to at least give one a try. (By the way, if you have a high cervix like I do, the one that I adore on a whole 'nother level is the INTIMINA Lily Cup. Thank me later.)
7. Drink Mint Water
Something that your vagina is full of is mucous membranes. Basically, they provide a protective fluid inside of your vagina. In order for them to function properly, you need to consume the standard 6-8 glasses of water on a daily basis. If you really want to be intentional about your vagina smelling good, add some fresh mint to your glass. Mint contains antibacterial properties that reduce bacteria all throughout your system, your vagina included. Mint is also high in fiber which helps to keep you regular which helps to keep toxins out of your system — which is always good when you want to smell great in your nether regions.
8. Put Apple Cider Vinegar and Baking Soda into Your Bathwater
Something that I personally think kinda sucks yet "such is life" is the fact that hot showers and baths have a tendency to throw our pH balance off. So, what temp should your water be? From what I've researched, it needs to be just a tad above your normal body temperature which puts it at around 90° F and 105° F (32° C – 40° C). Anyway, on the days when you want to take a long soak (check out "Did You Know There's A Right & A Wrong Way To Take A Bath?"), it can't hurt to pour a cup of apple cider vinegar (the kind with the mother) and a half cup of baking soda into your tub. The antibacterial and antiseptic properties in the vinegar will flush out toxins and remove bacteria from your vagina (and vulva) while the baking soda will help to deodorize your genitals. For the record, you don't need to do this every time. Just when you notice that your vagina is a little "too tart" smelling, your vagina/vulva is irritated or you want to feel a little extra fresh.
9. Make a Peppermint or Oregano Oil Spray
Oregano is an herb that derives from the mint family. As far as your vaginal health is concerned, some people use it as a way to fight the overgrowth of candida; that's because it contains really potent antibacterial properties, the kind that fight "bad bacteria". That's why you might want to also make an oregano spray out of distilled water and pure oregano oil. Just fill a small spray bottle up and add 10 drops of oregano oil. If you're about to go work out, spray a bit of the combo onto your pubic mound (not directly into your vagina). It can fight odor-causing bacteria so that odors won't arise.
10. Practice Proper After-Sex Protocol
Sperm/semen can throw your vagina's pH levels way off which can also result in your vagina not smelling too awesome. That's just one more reason to go with a condom when you're getting it in (check out "10 Things You Should DEFINITELY Know About Condoms" and "10 Ways To Make Using A Condom So Much More Pleasurable"). Yet if that's not how you get down, while it might seem all romantic 'n stuff to lay up with your partner for hours after climaxing (I mean, here's hoping, right?), it really is a good idea to follow a bit of an after-sex protocol which includes peeing right after sex and taking a bath, if you can.
An article that I wrote for the platform entitled, "Here's How To Care For Your Vagina AFTER Sex" can give you a play by play breakdown. I mean, it's not like he can't join you in the water if you want (check out "So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better"). That way, you can get a 2-for-1 deal — another round and a healthy va-jay-jay. Simultaneously. Dope.
To learn more about all things vaginal health and wellness, check out the xoNecole Women's Health section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
A Single Woman's Guide To A Fabulous Valentine's Day Staycation
Aight single ladies: even if there is a part of you that isn’t all that thrilled about Valentine’s Day (for whatever the reason), I promise you that there is an extra special reason to get excited this year — it falls on a Friday which means that you can turn it into a staycation and it can be one that’s filled with nothing but plans for how to celebrate your own damn self. And yes, sis, that is a good thing.
As an ambivert, I must admit that I constantly live in a state of staycations (LOL) because I enjoy my space and spending time with myself just that much. And, even though I’m personally not a “holidays person,” I must say that for those who do observe them, I think that taking staycations (vacations at home or in your city) during those days can be cool because you can center them around a theme — and what better theme can there be than love? Including self-love.
I’m telling you, devoting an entire weekend to rest, recharge, and holistic pampering, I’m not sure if life gets any better than that. So, why not seize the moment this Valentine’s Day weekend by incorporating (at least some of) the following 10 tips?
1. Get Yourself a Body Pillow
As a doula, I’ve gotta admit that the only time a body pillow really comes to mind is when I’m talking to a client about how she can make her second and/or third trimester more comfortable as far as sleep is concerned. However, when I was recently talking to a single woman about how she hates that her king-size bed feels so empty yet she’s not ready to put a warm body in it, “Get yourself a body pillow” came out of my mouth.
The truth is body pillows are great, in general, when it comes to supporting great posture, helping you to sleep better (if you happen to be a side sleeper), improving blood circulation, reducing snoring, helping you to toss and turn less throughout the night and even soothing aching muscles and joints. Plus, it gives you something to cuddle with. So, if you want to treat yourself to something unique that’s super practical at the same time, get a body pillow this Valentine’s Day. It’ll be one of the best investments that you’ve made in quite some time.
2. Buy Some Sexy/Comfy PJs Too
Unless you sleep in the nude, it’s a good idea toswap out your pajamas every 4-5 days or so. That way, between all of the dead skin cell shedding and sweating, you can be proactive about taking care of your skin as well as your bedding. Okay, but how often should you purchase a new pair of PJs? Well, when you stop to think about the fact that you are in them for 5-8 hours every night, every 6-9 months is probably a good idea. That said, if it’s been a couple of years longer than that since you’ve invested in some, Valentine’s Day is just as good of a time as any, wouldn’t you say?
And don’t get those granny-looking ones either. Just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean that all you have are dated moo-moos (although I’ve had some husbands sing the praises of those before — LOL) and oversized flannels in your near future. Pajamas that are made out of cotton are good so that your skin can breathe; however, try and go for something sexy like a baby doll set or a tank and some boy shorts. Science backs up the fact that how we choose to dress impacts our self-esteem — why would you think that only applies to how you look while you are outside of the house?
3. Put Some Flowers in Your Room
Personally, I adore fresh flowers. Yet if you happen to be someone who doesn’t see the point in them, thinks they are a waste of money, and/or feels like it’s kinda-sorta ridiculous to get your own self a bouquet — let me just say that there is plenty of research out here to support the fact that flowers help to put you in a better mood, decrease stress, reduce indoor air pollution, lower blood pressure and even make you more attentive.
Know what else is interesting? Red and yellow flowers can help you to feel more comfortable, cheerful, and calm. Red roses are pretty much the signature flower for Valentine’s Day — and now you’ve got some really solid reason to get yourself a dozen of ‘em.
4. Have Your Favorite Meal Delivered
If I were to ever have a social media platform or podcast, one thing that you will never hear outta me is that I am not Team Cooking. Cooking is healthier for you and (before this guy because POTUS) it’s significantly cheaper too. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a DoorDash account, though — and I am absolutely not afraid to use it! Sometimes, ordering a meal can feel indulgent because, not only are you letting someone else prepare what you enjoy eating, it is being hand-delivered to you too.
Since everything that we’re talking about today is how to set the stage for a bomb-sss staycation, definitely get food sent to you. No dishes to clean up is a very necessary step when it comes to chilling out and relaxing all Valentine’s Day (weekend).
5. Take Yourself on a Date
Again, since Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, this gives you the entire weekend to date yourself. Go to your local farmers’ market. Enjoy an indoor picnic. Check out an indie concert. Stop by a coffee shop, write yourself some love letters (check out “Every Woman Should Write A Love Letter To Themselves”), and then mail them to your house on the way home. Be a tourist in your own city. Go ice or roller skating. Schedule a photo shoot (for yourself).
Take yourself shopping. Read at least three chapters of a book or watch an entire movie while in the bathtub. Spend the night at a swanky hotel. Remember, at the end of the day, a date is a way of spending quality time with someone. Since Valentine’s Day is a day that celebrates love, why not spend quality time with who should be your favorite person: YOURSELF.
6. Or Go on a Virtual Tour
And what if what I just suggested sounds great in theory; however, you’re really just not in the mood? Well, another way that you can still “date yourself” is to open up your laptop and go on a virtual tour. For instance, if you’ve always wanted to go to Greece, Peru, or Ireland or you’re curious about Antarctica or the Amazon Rainforest, you can click here to check these places out up close and personally. Wanna learn more about Africa? There are several virtual tours available here.
To tell you the truth, these days, there are virtual tours that cover just about any place that you can think of. Personally, I think that this is a cool thing to do on a staycation because you can “be somewhere” from the comfort and convenience of your own home, and/or it’s a proactive way to put a plan together so that you and/or some friends can go on a trip before the year is out.
7. Give Yourself a Scalp and Foot Massage
If you’ve “got it like that,” something else that can make this a really special single girl’s Valentine’s Day staycation event is to have a massage therapist give you a massage (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”) at your home. However, if coins are tight, you can still pamper yourself by engaging in a DIY scalp and foot massage. Both reduce stress. Both release tension. Both make for an amazing night’s sleep.
Tips for how to give yourself a stellar scalp massage can be found here. Tips for how to give yourself a wonderful foot massage can be found here. And definitely don’t forget to incorporate some soothing essential oils. I’ve got a list of some for you right here.
8. Start a Self-Love Scrapbook or Journal
Question: What tangible memories do you have of how you love yourself? Weird question, right? Still, that doesn’t make it an invalid one. I can only imagine how much better we’d all feel about ourselves if we actually had a self-love scrapbook to refer to — one that consisted of receipts from pampering days, self-love quotes that we enjoy, some of our favorite pictures of ourselves, written down memories of some ah-ha moments of transformation that particularly standout…anything that reminds us of loving ourselves (that can fit into a scrapbook).
If you like the idea and yet need some inspiration, check out Skillshare’s “40 Beautiful Scrapbooking Ideas to Try.” Or you can use this as an opportunity to get a fresh journal — one that is dedicated to nothing but mantras, quotes, song lyrics, and thoughts pertaining to how to love yourself more and better. Make sure to put the dates and times of your entries in. There’s nothing like seeing actual documentation of your own self-love journey and growth.
9. Turn It into a Sleepover with Your Friends
Just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean you have to spend Valentine’s Day alone — if you don’t want to. One woman I know, she hosts a Valentine’s Day party for the single men and women in her life every year. Another one? She has an old-school sleepover where her girlfriends wear heart PJs, watch throwback rom-coms, and eat every form of junk food known to man (and woman). Definitely one of the reasons why Valentine’s Day feels lonely for some people is because they think that love only means romantic love and that absolutely could not be further from the truth.
If the idea of using this coming Valentine’s Day weekend to fall off the grid to mankind isn’t your idea of a good time, you can always call a friend or two to spend the night with you. Or, you can have a virtual sleepover with homies who live elsewhere. You can learn more about how to execute one of those here and here.
10. SLEEP. IN.
If you don’t have to work this Valentine’s Day weekend, why not sleep in? When you stop to think about the fact that sleep reduces stress, improves your mental health, reduces your blood sugar levels, helps you to maintain a healthy weight, and strengthens your heart — how could putting your phone on DND (Do Not Disturb) and not setting your alarm NOT be an act of self-love? The world will still be waiting for you once you roll out of bed.
In honor of a phenomenal single woman’s Valentine’s Day staycation, let it wait. Sis, I’m pretty sure you’ve earned it. SLEEP. IN. (Yay!)
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Featured image by Lorado/Getty Images