
I can't remember who told me what I'm about to say, but I laughed when they said it and I'm chuckling now as I recall it—"Two things that you should do smart and not hard is f—k and work." As far as the work thing goes, there's research that echoes this very point (as far as sex goes, we'll have to touch on that at another time—LOL).
Did you know that, according to a Gallup poll, over half of us work more than 50 hours a week? Did you also know that once we reach that amount, productivity significantly slips and, when we don't take a full day off every week, it works against our job performance? (Check out "What to Do When You Don't Know How to Chill Out"). All of this serves as great reminders that if you're pushing yourself to do more than eight-hour work days, you should really think long and hard about if it's truly benefitting you—and whatever you're working on—or not.
While we're on this topic, as far as overall productivity goes, if you know you're not making the absolute most out of the time you have at work, not only will the following 10 tips help you to get more done, they will also help you to "work smart" in the process too. 'Cause really, why make work harder than it actually has to be?
1.Sing While You’re in the Shower

Does this sound crazy? Maybe, but how about you try it first and then report back? Word on the street is that people who start off their day by singing a tune or two while they're washing up end up having more energy and feeling more positive than coffee drinkers do. A part of the reason is because singing takes us back to when our parents sang us lullabies as babies (it warms our hearts). Another reason is it results in what is known as "higher immune competence" which basically means it strengthens our immune systems.
So, if you've been singing in the shower, sing louder. If you've been too embarrassed to, give it a shot. You never know just how much it could impact the start of your day for the better.
2.Write a One Paragraph Weekly Mission Statement
If you don't have a personal and professional mission statement either in your journal or hanging up somewhere in your home office, there's no time like the present to put one together. Creating a mission statement is a great way to figure out what you want in life and then stay focused until you get it.
If you are already ahead of the game and you've got one jotted down somewhere, take things up a notch by writing a shorter version of one every Sunday or Monday. It doesn't have to be anything deep or dramatic. Just a few lines about what you want to accomplish and what you feel you deserve over the next 5-7 days when it comes to your professional life.
On the days when you're feeling overwhelmed, you just might be surprised by how quickly your paragraph-long mission statement can calm and center you.
3.Download the Self-Control App

Surely, I'm not the only one who's surprised by this. I recently read that 40 percent of people admit that they spend an hour a week doing things at the office that are totally non-work-related; 30 percent said they wasted two hours and 21 percent owned up to wasting five or more. Unless you have your own office, it's kind of difficult to be on personal calls all day long. Oh, but it's super easy to be surfing the 'net for hours on end.
If you know that gossip blogs, new channels or YouTube videos are what's got you distracted, you might want to download the Self-Control app. It's an app that will literally block your access to certain websites for a certain period of time so that you can focus on other things. Like your job.
4.Hide Your Email Inbox
Speaking of apps that help to keep you on task, another cool one is the Inbox When Ready app. If you Google ways to save time at work, one of the things that most articles are going to mention is you should limit the amount of time that you spend checking your inbox(es).
For the most part, it's a good idea to check it in the morning, at lunch and about 15 minutes before calling it a day. But if you know that you don't have the self-control to only look 2-3 times, this app will help you out. What it basically does is hide your inbox for a certain amount of time. That way, you won't be distracted by every message that comes in throughout the day. This alone, could result in you gaining an extra 1-2 hours (at least) a week of productivity, easily.
5.Turn Off Your Notifications

Guess how many times, on average, people check their phones on a daily basis? Every freakin' 12 minutes! That roughly equates to 80 times a day. Aside from how much checking your phone serves as a distraction, based on the notification that pops up, that can also deter you from what needs to be done at your desk.
You can probably think of at least two dozen things on your phone that are more interesting than the tasks that are waiting for you. But are any of those things paying your rent? Checkmate. Yeah, do yourself, and your back account, a favor and either set your notifications on vibrate or (even better) silent. And put your phone in your purse or desk drawer so that you won't be tempted.
6.Do the Hardest Things—First.
I work from home. For so many reasons, and on so many levels, it's awesome. But if there's one thing that I sometimes struggle with, it's putting off the thing that I don't want to do for as long as possible. This isn't smart for a few reasons. One, even if I procrastinate, the weight of the project, assignment or task is ever-looming over me. Two, if I start off dragging, it's easy to "keep that same energy" with other items on my to-do list. Three, by the time I do get around to it, it's even harder to get done because I'm already worn out from doing other stuff.
That's why it really is best to do the hardest things you've got on your plate first. Once that is completed, you'll feel like you've already accomplished a lot and that will make knocking out everything else a breeze.
7.Hold Meetings While Standing Up

I can't recall where I read this at the moment, but it was such a good tip that it stayed with me. A CEO somewhere said that he prefers to hold meetings with everyone standing up. It adds a sense of urgency to them and, it also prevents everyone from getting too comfortable (and distracted) like they would if they were sitting down. Plus, who wants to stand for 30 minutes straight? 15-20 minutes tends to be our limit which is the CEO's point. Get in, get out. Next.
While I'm on this topic, if you've been looking for a great note-taking app, try Cogi. Long story short, it's a recording app that has the ability to highlight the important points of what was said in a meeting so you don't have to worry about jotting everything down and/or missing the "good" parts.
8.Take Your Breaks (Away from Your Desk)
I've got a girlfriend who works through her breaks and lunches every single day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. She claims she does it so that she can get more work done, but whenever I check in with her, she's drained and exasperated.
It's not healthy to do anything for too long without taking a break from it, work included. If you want to have more energy, a fresh perspective and the ability to find your second wind so that you can be more productive during the last half of the day, take your breaks. Away from your desk, outside if you can. The fresh air and sunlight will do you a world of good and make a huge difference.
9.Make a Plan for the Following Day

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If one of the reasons why you hate the first 2-3 hours of almost every work day is because you're always feeling pressured or rushed, which leads you to feeling overwhelmed, something that you can do to prevent that from happening in the future is make a plan for your following day during the last 15-20 minutes of the present day. The plan should consist of putting down what you need to do in the order of most important (or hardest) to least important, along with any goals that you want to achieve. That way, as soon as you walk in the following morning, your day will already be nice and organized.
Speaking of organized, if Post-it Notes aren't gonna quite cut it, Any.do is an app that easily creates lists and reminders for you. You can even sync your info with others if you need to. That way, your co-worker will know what time you'll be meeting with them and your significant other will know who's supposed to be picking up dinner on the way home.
10. Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To
Reward is such a great word. It means "something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc." Depending on the kind of day or week you've had, you might deserve something based on the service you gave or the hardship that you endured. But make no mistake about it, you definitely should do something special for yourself for a job well done.
If you start off each week with a "reward plan" in place, not only will it get you through those ho-hum moments (like hump day), it will also give you something to look forward to. It can also keep you on task too. So, every Sunday night, plan to reward yourself for anything from showing up 10 minutes early every day to having that much-needed chat with your boss.
Just knowing that a spa day or your favorite bottle of wine is awaiting you at the end of the week is something else that will make each and every work day that much easier.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Someone's Trying To Hook You Up? Ask These 6 Questions First
As we all know, it’s cuffing season. We’re also on the cusp of the holiday season, and that happens to be the time of year when a lot of people get engaged. And that’s why the fall and winter seasons are the times of the year when folks wanna play matchmaker.
And so, sis, if at least one person in your life is currently trying to set you up with someone they know right now — charge it to it being “tis the season” more than anything else. Because let’s be real — folks tend to be more lovey-dovey than ever right about now, and that is usually what inspires them to try to get as many people boo/bae’d up as possible. Chile…CHILE.
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock









