Dating is hard. Yes, that's a known fact for many, but one question that my friends and I keep revisiting is where to go to find the men we want. Meeting guys at bars is still a thing, but that's not always promising. Running into the man of your dreams at the grocery store can happen, but you don't really hear about that anymore. If you're in the same boat as I am, then this article may be for you. Recently, I came across a tweet that said run clubs are the new dating apps, and I immediately sent it to my bestie and one of my brothers, who belongs to a run club.
My bestie responded, "Dang, is that what we have to do now? Meet them all sweaty & out of breath lol." While my brother wasn't sure about it being the new dating app, he did say it was a great way to meet new people. As someone who recently tried dating apps again and was ultimately reminded why I got off years ago, I was open to putting this theory to the test. My mom actually suggested I should join a run club months ago, and when I told her about the tweet, she reminded me that mothers are always right.
But before I find a run club to join, I thought I would tap an expert about this recent phenomenon. Imani Tutt is an LMFT therapist and relationship coach and shared whether or not run clubs were the new way to meet singles.
xoNecole: There was a tweet that had a lot of people talking, which said, "Run club is the new dating app." Are people leaving dating apps and meeting singles through clubs and activities instead?
Imani Tutt: I wouldn’t necessarily say people are leaving dating apps altogether, but it’s evident that more individuals are recognizing the value of finding a partner who shares common interests and similar values. This realization underscores the idea that slow and steady often wins the race (no pun intended).
Running clubs, in particular, have seen a surge in popularity since the pandemic, a time when many of us were on lockdown and searching for new ways to stay active and connected. These clubs attract people not only because of their shared interest in fitness and health but also due to the social opportunities they offer. Participants have the chance to meet new people in a natural setting they already enjoy, fostering organic connections that might be harder to achieve through the often impersonal nature of dating apps.
Moreover, activities like running clubs provide a platform for individuals to engage in a healthy, productive hobby while also expanding their social circles. The camaraderie and mutual support inherent in these clubs can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections. This trend isn’t limited to running; other interest-based groups, such as hiking clubs, book clubs, and volunteer organizations, are also becoming popular alternatives for meeting potential partners.
xoN: Is this a new concept, or is it just becoming popular?
IT: I believe this is a relatively new concept that is rapidly gaining popularity. Many people are growing tired of the superficial interactions that often occur on dating apps. On these platforms, users frequently portray idealized versions of themselves, which can lead to disingenuous connections.
In contrast, running clubs offer an environment where individuals can be more authentic and vulnerable. When people participate in physical activities like running, they show their true selves—they're sweaty, tired, and without the masks they might wear online. This authenticity fosters genuine connections and meaningful relationships as participants bond over shared experiences and challenges rather than curated profiles. As a result, running clubs provide a refreshing alternative to traditional dating methods, emphasizing sincerity and authenticity over superficial impressions.
"Running clubs offer an environment where individuals can be more authentic and vulnerable. As a result, running clubs provide a refreshing alternative to traditional dating methods, emphasizing sincerity and authenticity over superficial impressions."
DMP/ Getty Images
xoN: Why is this the best way to meet singles?
IT: I wouldn't say this is the absolute best way to meet singles, but it's definitely a great option if you enjoy running. Engaging in an activity you love allows you to meet like-minded people, which can be a fantastic foundation for forming new relationships. When you're part of a running group, you regularly interact with the same individuals, making it easier to build bonds and develop friendships over time; very similar to how it was when we were in school.
I believe this principle applies to any club or group centered around shared interests. Whether it's a book club, a cooking class, or a hiking group, participating in activities that you are passionate about naturally brings you closer to others who share those passions, creating opportunities for meaningful connections.
Additionally, meeting people through a shared hobby can take the pressure off needing to find a partner right away. You're there primarily to enjoy the activity, and any romantic connections that form feel more organic and less forced. Being in a comfortable and familiar environment can also help you present your best self, as you're likely to be more relaxed and confident.
xoN: Besides running clubs, what are some other clubs that people can join to meet singles, especially for people who aren't interested in athletic clubs?
IT: When looking to meet singles outside of athletic clubs, it’s important to consider your interests and hobbies. Do not join a club solely to meet a partner; that is a one-way ticket to a disaster waiting to happen.
When you take the time to understand your own interests and hobbies, you give yourself the opportunity to not only meet like-minded individuals but also enjoy the activities you participate in. Here are several types of clubs and groups where you can meet singles:
Art Clubs: If you have a passion for painting, drawing, or any form of visual arts, joining an art club can be a great way to connect with others who share your interest. These clubs often organize workshops, gallery visits, and art exhibitions, providing ample opportunities to socialize.
Music Clubs: Whether you enjoy playing an instrument, singing, or simply appreciating music, music clubs offer a variety of activities such as jam sessions, concerts, and music appreciation nights. These events can be a fun way to meet people who share your musical tastes.
Book Clubs: For those who love reading, book clubs offer a perfect setting to discuss literature with others. Book clubs typically meet regularly to discuss a chosen book, fostering deep conversations and connections over shared literary interests.
Poetry and Writing Groups: If writing is your passion, joining a poetry or writing group can be incredibly fulfilling. These groups often host readings, workshops, and critique sessions, allowing you to improve your craft while meeting others who enjoy writing.
Church: For those who are faith-based, church groups can provide a supportive community. These groups often organize social events, volunteer opportunities, and study sessions, which can be great for meeting new people with similar values.
Volunteer Organizations: Joining a volunteer group can be a rewarding way to meet people while giving back to the community. Whether it’s through environmental causes, animal shelters, or community service projects, volunteering can connect you with others who are passionate about making a difference.
Luis Alvarez/ Getty Images
Hobby and Craft Clubs: From knitting circles to model building, hobby and craft clubs bring together people with specific interests. These clubs offer a relaxed environment to work on projects and chat with others who enjoy the same hobbies.
Cooking Classes and Clubs: If you love cooking or want to improve your culinary skills, cooking classes or clubs can be a fun way to meet others. These groups often involve hands-on cooking sessions followed by social dining experiences.
Language Exchange Groups: For those interested in learning a new language, language exchange groups offer a unique opportunity to practice speaking with native speakers and other learners. These groups often meet in casual settings, providing a friendly environment for conversation and cultural exchange.
Gaming Groups: Whether you’re into board games, video games, or tabletop RPGs, gaming groups can be a fantastic way to meet fellow enthusiasts. Many cities have game stores or cafes that host regular game nights, creating a fun and interactive way to meet new people.
Hiking Groups: If you enjoy the great outdoors, joining a hiking group can be an excellent way to meet new people while staying active. Hiking groups often organize regular hikes ranging from easy to challenging trails, allowing you to explore nature and bond with others who appreciate outdoor adventures.
xoN: Where can someone find these clubs?
IT: You can find these clubs through a variety of platforms and methods:
TikTok: Many clubs and interest groups promote their activities and events on TikTok. By following relevant hashtags and accounts, one can discover new clubs and communities.
Facebook Groups: Facebook is a rich resource for finding clubs. There are numerous groups dedicated to various interests, hobbies, and activities. Searching for specific keywords related to your interests can lead you to active communities.
Word of Mouth: Personal recommendations from friends, family, and colleagues are often invaluable. By talking to people in your social circle, you can discover clubs that align with your interests and gain insights into their experiences.
Eventbrite: This platform lists a wide range of events, including club meetings, workshops, and social gatherings. By searching for events in your area, you can find clubs hosting activities that interest you.
Instagram: Many clubs use Instagram to promote their activities, share updates, and engage with their members. Following club accounts and relevant hashtags can help you stay informed about upcoming events and initiatives.
Meetup: Meetup is a popular platform designed specifically to connect people with similar interests. You can search for clubs and events based on your interests and location.
Local Community Centers and Libraries: Many local community centers and libraries host clubs and interest groups. Checking their bulletin boards and websites can provide information on upcoming meetings and events.
University and College Campuses: If you're a student or have access to a campus, universities and colleges often have a wide range of clubs. Their student services offices or club fairs are excellent places to find out more.
Online Forums and Websites: Websites like Reddit, Quora, and specialized forums can be great resources for finding clubs. By participating in discussions and asking for recommendations, you can connect with like-minded individuals.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by andreswd/ Getty Images
RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Maybe you feel the same way I do about getting braids in the spring and/or summertime — or perhaps March through September being your favorite months for this particular style is due to something else. Either way, if you’re gearing up for a braid appointment, I thought it would be cool to share 12 things that can help you get the most out of the time that you spend, along with the money that you invest to get those bad boys put in.
This way, not only will your braids look absolutely bomb until it’s time to take them out, but your own hair can remain healthy throughout the process too.
1. Choose Your Hair Brand Wisely
Getty Images
With articles out here like The Guardian’s “Over 3,000 beauty products targeting Black women contain health hazards, study shows,” Harvard’s “Uncovering the dangers of hair products marketed to Black women, girls” and, as it specifically relates to today’s topic, Essence’s “A New Study Finds Carcinogens In 10 Synthetic Braiding Hair Brands” — now, more than ever, it’s important to be hypervigilant about doing research on and reading the labels of the beauty products that you buy.
When it comes to braiding hair, specifically, a braiding hair brand that’s made from repurposed banana stems isRebundle; it’s not the cheapest on the planet yet it is pretty quality stuff. Thankfully, Essence has a list of some other options here while Byrdie also features some here that you can look into too.
2. Go with Smaller Instead of Larger
When it comes to the shelf life of braids, once you hit somewhere around the six-week mark, it’s usually time to put on a movie and get comfortable for a couple of hours, so that you can take them down. However, if you want to try to squeeze even more time out of them, first, make sure that you tie your hair up (or put it into a bonnet) every night with a silk or satin scarf (in order to reduce frizz and tangling more than anything else). Also, consider going with smaller braids. Sure, it’ll take more time to install and it will probably cost a few more bucks as well — but if you can get 2-3 more weeks from the style, it’s actually worth it.
3. Try Dry Shampoo on Your Braids
Whenever I have braids in my hair, the thing that I hate the most is wash day. Why? Because that’s when the opportunity significantly increases for my braids to get looser and for frizz to transpire. Typically, my workaround is to cleanse my scalp with a good ole’ bottle of Sea Breeze and then rinse my hair while in the shower every couple of weeks (so that I’m not spending a lot of time rubbing on the braids themselves). However, something else that you might want to try is a dry shampoo (you know, a cleansing product that absorbs dirt, oil, and sweat without any water being involved).
One brand that gets a lot of praise in the braided hair department is Batiste Sweat Activated Dry Shampoo. Another is Amika’s Perk Up Talc-Free Dry Shampoo. At the very least, it can buy you some time until you have the time to cleanse your braids oh so very carefully with “regular” shampoo.
4. Apply a Lavender/Jojoba Oil Blend to Your Scalp
Getty Images
If one of the things that you absolutely don’t look forward to when it comes to having braids is the fact that your scalp flakes up, something that you can do to reduce the chances of that happening is to keep your scalp well-moisturized. One way to do that is to apply a mixture of lavender oil and jojoba oil. Lavender is good for your scalp because it contains antimicrobial properties that help to keep fungi and bacteria from irritating your scalp (which means that it can help to prevent dandruff flakes).
Jojoba oil benefits your scalp because it is able to deeply moisturize your scalp while helping to prevent itchiness. Plus, the combo can help to keep your braids smelling really good too.
5. Use Sunscreen on Your Scalp Too
SUN. FREAKIN’. SCREEN. When you get a chance, check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.” so that you can get a good understanding of why it’s important to slow down the aging of your scalp. For now, I’ll just say that skin that isn’t protected by sunscreen is skin that is definitely going to age faster than you would like it to. Not only that but since braids cause you to have so much of your scalp exposed (due to all of the parts that are on your head), you definitely need to make sure that the UV rays don’t work overtime to irritate or damage it. Travel + Leisure has a few sunscreens for the scalp that are worth giving a shot. You can check them outhere.
6. Use a Leave-In Conditioner on Your Braids
Something that you definitely need to keep in mind if you’ve got longer hair tucked inside of your braids is you should wash your braids with a sulfate-free shampoo and you should apply a leave-in conditioner while your braids are air-drying. That way, your own hair can have some additional moisture added in which will also reduce frizz and fly-aways. Oh, and speaking of leave-in conditioner, don’t be afraid to refresh your hair with some of it one day a week.
It’s another way to smooth the cuticles of the braids and help to keep them flexible and shiny. For this tip, my two cents? Use a leave-in that comes in a spray rather than a bottle. It tends to be thinner in texture, so you don’t have to worry so much about residue and build-up.
7. Keep Gels to a Minimum
Getty Images
Honestly, I’ll be glad when the super long lashes and the baby hairs that look more like bangs decide to take an indefinite hiatus (#lesigh). In the meantime, at least this article gives me a solid reason for discouraging huge baby hairs: gels can cause product build-up and, at the very least, that can make keeping your braids as fresh as possible hella challenging. So, if you do like to lay your edges down, try and take the minimal approach — both with the amount of hair that you use and how much gel that you apply to them.
Oh, and look for a flake-free edge control brand. One that I personally like is She Is Bomb (here). It’s super affordable, lasts a long time, holds really well, and nope, no flakes for me.
8. Dip Your Ends to Keep Them Smooth and Frizz-Free
Whether you want to reduce frizz or you want to add some waves or curls to your braids, you can do this by dipping your hair in hot water. I will say that if you don’t want to run the risk of burning yourself, you might want to enlist the assistance of a friend to help you out. However, if your braids are really long, you should be able to dip them on your own without any issues.
Whenever I want to add some waves to my box braids, I will section them, braid them, dip them, let them cool a bit, and then take the braids down. The waves last for weeks. Perfect! As a bonus, dipping your ends can actually keep them smooth and fresh-looking. For tips on how to DIY dip, check out this video tutorial here.
9. Steam Your Braids Every Couple of Weeks
Something that I’m surprised doesn’t come up more often is how beneficial it is tosteam braids. Not only is it a great way to give your scalp some relief if your braids are too tight when you first leave the shop, but it can also help to keep your scalp hydrated with as little hair manipulation as possible. Plus, steaming your braids can help to keep your braids looking shiny and new for a longer period of time. InStyle has a list of steamers that benefit natural hair mosthere. Best Products Reviews also has its own listhere.
10. Refresh the Front of Your Hairstyle
I remember a few years ago, I watched a YouTube video of a woman who said that her (originally) knotless braids lasted for almost four months because she would “simply” (SMDH) tie her braids into a knot once there was enough new growth to make that happen. Lawd, please don’t follow her lead. Not only does that lead to unnecessary tension (and weight) on your hair follicles, but it can make it complete and utter hell to take the braids (and knots) down without pulling out quite a bit of your hair in the process.
Instead, if you want a couple of more weeks with your braids, make an appointment with your braider to get the first couple of rows around the front of your head redone. You’d be amazed how this one step can do wonders for a braided hairstyle — not to mention that it’s better for your hair and (usually) a hella cheap approach to making your style last longer.
11. Try Not to Over-Style Your Braids
There is nothing like having some long, knotless, medium-sized box braids that were done right and well. Honey, it’ll have you out here acting like you should try every hairstyle you can find! Thing is, the more that you manipulate your hair, the quicker that your braids will come loose, the more frizz and fly-aways that will pop up, and the sooner that your new style will age. Am I saying not to play around with some looks that you like? Damn well you should. Just try to avoid doing a different style multiple days of the week.
Wearing them down, tying them up in a scarf, or putting them in a top bun (although you should move that bun around in order to not put tension in the same spot all of the time) will make enough of a statement because braids are beautiful…all on their own.
12. Take a Break from Your Braids
Final one. Braids are so damn pretty and convenient that I’m sure a lot of us would pull a “Moesha” (if you’re a real one, you caught what I mean by that) and have braids in constantly. Thing is, that’s not healthy for your natural hair because the tension and weight of your braids can lead to hair damage and even hair loss if you’re not careful. So, if you plan on going all spring and summer with some sort of braided style, try to at least take out a couple of weeks in between braid appointments to deep condition your own hair, pamper your scalp, and give both of them a break.
That way, you can be confident that your hair is ready for your next batch of braids — whether that’s for a summer vacation or some other time that you have in mind. Enjoy!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Oscar Martin/Getty Images