

‘Drinking my water and minding my business’ has always been my mood, but with all the talk around hydration lately, I’ve started wondering what exactly is the right way to drink my water. On one hand, there is the school of thought that subscribes to drinking a gallon of water a day. There’s a school of thought that subscribes to somewhere around the ballpark of 2-3 liters of water per day. There are also water enthusiasts who wouldn’t dare touch a bottle of purified water over alkaline water. And then there’s the side of the internet who are head to head about drinking plain water and its benefits and adding enhancements to “superpower” it.
As with other aspects of health, figuring out how to hack your way to better drinking water has been making waves on the internet. I, for one, enjoy my daily fix of chlorophyll water which is said to be an internal deodorizer, clear your skin, and reduce inflammation in the body among other things. Plain water is said to be out, while 'enhanced' water is said to be in. Allegedly this is the case if you’ve been hitting your daily water intake consistently but still don’t feel hydrated and/or if you find yourself peeing almost immediately after drinking said water. If that sounds like you, according to TikTok, you could be drinking your water wrong.
And you might need to unsubscribe from plain drinking water. According to creators like @calibabyoficial, leveling up your water with baking soda, Himalayan pink salt, and lemon or lime is essential for proper hydration. But how true is this?
I reached out to dietitian Rosie Mensah, MPH to learn more about the plain drinking water versus enhanced water phenomena and to demystify why some of us are following the ‘hydrate, hydrate, hydrate’ mantra to a T but still might be feeling thirsty.
You’re drinking all of this water, why do you still feel thirsty?
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First things first, if you are waiting to drink water until you are feeling thirsty, chances are, you are already dehydrated. Mensah describes thirst as a sign of mild dehydration. So you should be consuming water frequently enough throughout the day that you do not get to this point and so that the body is properly hydrated. However, if you feel that you have been drinking enough water and your thirst levels persist, Mensah suggests that this could be pointing to an underlying health concern.
She continues, "If you are feeling excessively thirsty, there could be something else going on, especially if you are staying hydrated regularly. That’s something that I would encourage folks to see a health professional about because it could mean there are other bodily issues happening and could mean other conditions."
Is going to the bathroom after you drink water normal?
Whenever I think of drinking enough water, I also think about how many bathroom breaks are going to ensue shortly after. In the recent season of The Real Housewives of Potomac, one of the ladies shared that her kidney stones came from not drinking enough water each day because she feared needing to use the restroom too much while she had things to do. And I get it, who wants to drink water just to have to get up and release it shortly after? I believe that's why all the conversation around 'proper' hydration has started.
There had to be a connection between not drinking enough of the right water and using the bathroom too quickly to allow your body to retain the benefits of drinking water, right? Turns out, not exactly. It's all about the size of your bladder and the fact that it's only possible to retain a certain amount of fluids before it gets full. And once it's full, it's time to use the bathroom. The bladder holds approximately 16 ounces of fluid. If you are consuming more water than that, within an hour or two you are absolutely going to need to use the bathroom frequently.
"If you are drinking more, you are gonna have to go to the bathroom more. That's just the reality," Mensah adds. "But that’s like a good thing. It’s moving through your body and you want that. Your organs and your cells are being nourished."
So yes, going to the bathroom is normal. Your bladder is full and it's doing what it's supposed to do. If you want to decrease how often you go without being dehydrated, consider pivoting from chugging your water first thing in the morning to sipping throughout the day and limiting your intake to no more than 8 ounces each hour.
Does adding baking soda to water increase pH?
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The loaded question. The answer might depend on the expert, but according to Mensah, there are few studies showing the health benefits of adding baking soda to plain drinking water to alkalinize it. Based on my own research, the tactic came up most often when referring to pool water maintenance, which makes sense. I have, however, also seen other experts touting the pH and hormone regulation benefits of adding a little baking soda to your water. Mensah says that the human body already does a pretty good job at maintaining a healthy pH balance, which again makes sense.
"Whatever you are consuming, putting into your body, your body has mechanisms to put it at a functioning pH," she explains. "You could have plain water, plain tap water that is filtered to maintain the same benefits as drinking other forms of water. I think, again, a lot of it could just be a marketing tactic. But in terms of health benefits, you can get the same benefits from regular plain water."
It could depend on the expert, but if you want to add baking soda to your water for the benefits, consider talking to a professional about your individual dietary needs.
What about adding Himalayan pink salt to your water?
Adding Himalayan pink salt to your water is how you make water referred to as sole water. It is said that by adding Himalayan pink salt to your drinking water, you are adding trace minerals to it that make it easier for the body to retain these minerals. It is also believed to help with electrolyte balance, digestion, energy, and sleep. But, there is also not a lot of conclusive research to support these claims.
If you want to add Himalayan pink salt to your water because of its trace minerals in hopes of further nourishing the body, be my guest. But similarly to the baking soda mentioned above, it's not something you have to do to your water. Drinking plain water is more than enough.
What does adding lemon or lime to water do?
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We've all heard about adding fruit to water to get the benefits of said fruit from the water we're drinking, but adding those slices might just be an aesthetic choice more than a health choice. Although there are many articles around the internet supporting adding lime, or better yet lemon, to your water (especially detox water content) and the benefits of it, there are few studies that support such claims as it relates to adding lemon and lime to the water you drink specifically. However, people have reported having glowing skin as a result of drinking lemon water regularly and better digestion (although those things could be from the water more than the citrus element of the drink).
"I think a lot of it people [feel] like it makes the flavor [of water] better because I know there are some people that say they just don’t like to drink water," Mensah notes. "But adding those things can make it just a better drinking experience for you. But in terms of like health, there’s really not much that it does."
Does adding salt, lime juice, or lemon juice to water make it electrolyte water?
But what about electrolyte water? Surely, some benefits support adding electrolytes to water like lime juice, lemon juice, or salt to your water. And according to Heathline, there very well may be. However, these findings also support the fact that tap water and bottled water also contain electrolytes, just a lot less concentrated than an electrolyte-enhanced sports drink like Gatorade or Powerade. If it brings you joy to add extra sodium, trace minerals, and lemon or lime juice to your water to reap even more benefits of the minerals responsible for facilitating some important bodily functions, do you. But as Mensah has shared, you don't have to.
Electrolyte water or electrolyte-enhanced drinks like sports drinks and Pedialyte are usually recommended in cases of severe hydration, illnesses that cause fluid loss, intense workouts that last beyond an hour, long periods of heat exposure, or if you lose a lot of sweat and/or other fluids during exercise. In all of these cases, speak to your doctor about the best way to replace the electrolytes you might lose in these circumstances. Outside of that, regular water should have you and your day-to-day hydration needs covered.
How much water do you need to drink to be hydrated?
According to our expert Mensah, hydration is all relative and differs from person to person based on individual needs, body shapes, and sizes. "The recommendation of around 8 glasses [a day] is really just to ensure people are staying hydrated," she clarifies. "But that doesn't necessarily factor in other fluids that you have [during the day]. If you are a tea drinker, you may opt for more tea than clean water. And that’s still fine because it’s still a nourishing beverage. But it really depends on the individual."
Someone who is more physically active might have a daily water intake that signifies they require more water. Someone who drinks more coffee might also require more because of the amount of fluid they excrete as a result. Mensah explains that while you can track your water throughout the day to make sure you are getting enough, it's not always a necessary step as long as you are making sure you are consuming water frequently.
Is drinking plain water enough to hydrate you?
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This article came about because of all the different information swirling in the social media sphere and the question it left me thinking about. The short answer to this one is yes, drinking plain water is enough to hydrate you. But if you want to make things more enticing to your palette or more nourishing to the body by trying out tips from TikTok experts here and there, then do it. Just know if you don't want to succumb to the pressure of suggestions, that's okay too. As long as you're getting those ounces in daily, and aren't excessively thirsty, your hydration levels are fine.
As with everything mentioned in this article, Mensah advises speaking with a health professional about your own individual needs, what your body might be lacking, and nutritious choices that could help improve those matters.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Bored With Your Partner's Body? 10 Tips To Breathe New Life Into Your Bedroom.
Recently, while checking out a movie, a wife said that she and her husband were trying to come up with creative things to do in the bedroom because, it wasn’t so much that their sex life had become boring, but “it is stale and repetitive” (which gee, sure does sound like a definition of boring to me — LOL). It’s not the first time I’ve heard that because some of my own clients in real life bring that very issue up from time to time.
What’s interesting about boredom, though, is a variety of things can be the root cause of it: a lack of interest, no sense of purpose, stress or anxiety or having a short attention span are some of the popular reasons. And that’s why, whenever a couple presents boredom to me, especially sexual boredom, I encourage them to figure out what they mean when they use the word. Knowing that can help to point them in the direction of what they need to do next (seeing a sex therapist might be the way to go — check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”).
Today? Today we’re gonna address another definition of boring: “monotonous or repetitive activities.” What should you do when, what you find to be boring is your partner’s body? It’s not because you don’t love them anymore or even that you don’t still enjoy intimacy with them — it’s just that you are in an exclusive (if you’re dating) or monogamous (if you’re married — check out “Why I Use The Word 'Monogamous' In Marriage And 'Exclusive' In Dating”) dynamic, what do you do when you kind of feel like the visuals are hella predictable which can make intimacy a bit…well, drab?
Listen, just because folks may not talk about it openly, that doesn’t mean that this isn’t a real issue. If it’s something that you’re currently experiencing right now — don’t feel bad or guilty. Sex has seasons just like almost everything in life. The key is to handle this season responsibly. These 10 tips are designed to help you to do that…so that you can get the excitement (of your partner’s body) back into your bedroom again.
1. Dress Up for Dates
Give pushback if you want to, yet it’s my personal opinion that the pandemic still has a chokehold on a lot of us when it comes to fashion — or the lack thereof. It’s like lockdown had us used to being in PJs and joggers for so long that far too many people are still struggling to actually dress up. That’s a shame too because if you wanna see our people show up and all the way out, put a woman in a little black dress and a man in a tailored suit. WHEW.
And just what does that have to do with today’s topic? Well, think about gifts that you’ve received in the past. What made them more appealing? When someone just handed them to you out of a shopping bag or when they made the time to “dress them up” in some fancy wrapping paper or a gift bag and some pretty tissue paper? Our bodies are similar because, well, just think about it — no matter how often you’ve seen your man with no clothes on, when he’s all dressed up, doesn’t he turn into a level of fine that makes him super sexy and hella appealing again?
That’s why my first tip would be for the two of you to not just go out on dates more than you currently are but to DRESS UP for them too. Seeing how good he looks in his clothes in public can motivate you to want to take them off in private.
2. Schedule a Professional Photoshoot and Post Them in Your Bedroom
Since a fair amount of my friends are entertainment industry folks, they are good for taking professional pictures. No, I don’t mean asking someone to use their phone to capture them while they are on stage. I mean that they schedule a photoshoot with a reputable photographer — and you know what? As much as I see some of these people, I continue to be awed by what photographers can bring out of them…hell, just with the lighting alone.
The same thing can happen for how you see your man. Yep, book a photoshoot — one that consists of consulting with the photographer about what your partner would look best in. Once the shoot is done, go through the pictures, select 1-4 of your faves, blow them up a bit, and then mount or frame them in your bedroom. Walking into the space where you probably have the most sex and seeing him at his best is the type of visual turn-on that is absolutely underrated.
3. Go “All Out Sexy” in the Bedroom
Sometimes the truth hurts and if you and your partner have been going to bed looking like who-shot-what, chances are, you’re not bored, what you are is low-key irritated — and you absolutely should be. The reality is most of us spend at least 6-8 hours a night in bed and if someone is in there with us, we should stop acting like they don’t want something appealing to look at. So, this coming weekend, y’all should make some time to hop online and select some attractively seductive sleepwear. It doesn’t always have to be a lace teddy for you or expensive silk boxers for him but damn, at least a really cute tank and booty shorts for you and some boxer briefs that are in your favorite color for him. Sex or not…tease each other a lil’ bit. Visually.
4. Play Around with Lighting
Personally, I find myself doing more online shopping and then altering whatever doesn’t fit the way that I like. A part of the reason why I prefer going this route is because the lighting that’s in a lot of stores? Oh, how they suck. Yeah, lighting can really alter our perception of so many things — which is why changing your lighting also makes the list of what you can do if you are in a season of being bored with your partner’s body. See how he looks under candlelight. See how he looks as a “red light special” (shout-out to TLC’s song and visual and how well actor Boris Kodjoe is aging — the real ones know).
LED lights that sync up to music? Those are bomb as well. I’m telling you, I don’t care how much of a “rerun” it might be, a Black man in some cool blue or warm gold lighting is sexy, sexy, sexy…and then some.
5. Use Blindfolds (More Often)
When you get a chance, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.” Then afterwards, pick up a couple of (more) blindfolds. Part of the reason why blindfolds are such a staple for foreplay (especially) is because, when one of your five senses — sight, touch, hearing, taste, and sound — is subdued, that ends up amplifying the other four that remain (more on that in a bit). And chile, when you’re blindfolded during sex, not only does it increase anticipation about whatever is coming your way, but it can also help your imagination to run wild — and that can be quite the aphrodisiac.
6. Give Erotic Massages
When it comes to sex, specifically, something that I appreciate about the art of the massage is it encourages people to focus on not-so-common parts of the body (a common one? Check out “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage”). For instance, sensual massages are all about slowing down and using your hands to not only focus on one part/area of someone else’s body but to do some exploring too.
And even though the main purpose of an erotic massage is to touch the parts of your partner that will turn them on, it’s still a massage that is all about touching lightly, using body parts other than your hands, and exploring new ways to turn your partner on. Since giving a massage is a way to encourage you to exercise a bit of restraint, that can “build you up” to have the desire to indulge in your partner’s body more — whether you’ve experienced it dozens of times before or not.
7. Explore Other Erogenous Zones
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” isn’t exactly a motto that I would recommend for the bedroom. The main reason why is because, if you’re not careful, it can cause you to become pretty lazy on the sexual tip — and that is never good. That being said if you’re at the point where you’re feeling a bit bored with your partner’s body, this (probably) means that you both have learned “which buttons to push” when it comes to sexually pleasing one another.
And that means it’s time to explore some new territory. If you already know their favorite erogenous zones, determine in your mind to learn some different ones — some “uncharted territory,” if you will. Healthline once published an article that said there are a little over 30 different ones out here. Can you honestly say that you’ve tested each and every one of those out? C’mon now.
8. Focus on Your Other Four Senses
Looking at your partner’s body only covers one of the five senses: sight. Okay, but what efforts are you putting into hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling? For hearing, how’s y’all’s dirty talk game been lately? Touch? Bring in different sex toys and fabrics to see what can cultivate new sensations. Tasting? Well, read “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious” and then try something new.
Smell? Scents that have been proven to be sexually arousing include jasmine, vanilla, rose, sandalwood, patchouli, cinnamon, and a blend of pumpkin and lavender (especially if they’re placed in erogenous-zoned spots). Honing in on the other senses can make you appreciate sight more. Try it. I think that you will like it.
9. Think of Their “Best” Body Part. Have Sex in That Position.
No matter how often you’ve seen his body before, I’m willing to bet that you’ve got a favorite part. Think about it and then figure out which sex position will give you the best view of it. If it’s his chest, get on top. If it’s his legs, fellatio counts as sex because oral sex is sex. If it’s his torso, have him penetrate you while he’s standing up. I could expound yet y’all get my drift.
And if I didn’t mention your favorite part, check out SheKnows’s “69 Sex Positions to Put on Your Bucket List Immediately” to get some inspiration — because how can you not see his body as eye candy when you’re looking at the part of it you like the most as you’re receiving all kinds of pleasure. Whew.
10. Record a Session (or Two)
Ever made a sex tape before? Although I will be the first to say that you need to exercise extreme discretion when it comes to this tip — if you’ve been having sex with someone long enough to experience bouts of boredom with their body, I’m assuming that you’ve built up some trust over time (right?). Anyway, something that’s sexy about a sex tape is it can help you to see you and your partner from another angle/perspective — and that also can be pretty damn appealing. So, if it’s something that the two of you have never tried…try it. Looking at the two of you enjoying each other can give you a greater appreciation for his body — and what it has the ability to do to you.
BONUS: Ask Yourself If You’re “Bored” or “Not Attracted”
It’s kind of a full-circle moment with this one because, as I bring this to a close, I’ve got to put on record that it really is one thing to be bored — another entirely to not be attracted. Case in point — when it comes to one of my exes, the sex itself was actually pretty good. Still, I had to kind of “force myself” sometimes through it because I wasn’t very attracted to him…not ever really (you’d be amazed how much that can happen when you like the person’s personality and not so much their looks).
Although I will NEVER put myself in that position again, sometimes people are so invested in their relationship that they don’t just want to end it due to this alone. If that is what you are going through, please speak with a therapist/counselor/life coach. Depending on how deep the issues go, they may be able to provide you with some tips and tools to make things easier.
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One thing about boredom is that creativity can totally help it out. And what this means is a part of what creates boredom is laziness (ouch) or a lack of intention. And what this means is if you’re willing to do something about the current state of boredom that you are going through, there is a big chance that you can get rid of it. No matter what the cause of it may be.
Try the steps. Report back. Something tells me that you might feel better about things in your bedroom.
Just a hunch.
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