The One External Pressure Point That Can Unlock Better Orgasms
There are undoubtedly two things in life that we’re always chasing – our next bag and our next orgasm. But, as you might’ve heard a handful of times by now, orgasms during partnered sex for vulva-having folks can prove to be difficult for various reasons, all of which can be chalked up to time management. For a clitoral orgasm, our partners must spend more time warming up the clitoris before we can reach an orgasm. And even still, in solo sex, it can prove occasionally difficult for us to get ourselves exactly where we want to be.
Nevertheless, there’s a cheat code for orgasms! This tried and true trick (plus hoisting my hips up with a pillow) tends to get me to the destination before I can even finish the countdown. So, what trick might I be talking about? Admittedly, it is less of a 'trick' and more of a 'pressure point.' In fact, it’s been suggested by experts that applying pressure below or on the bladder will ignite your orgasm.
Apply Pressure to Your Lower Belly for Better Orgasms
Even if you’ve never heard this pressure point, you may have likely experienced it if you’re someone who explores physical touch, especially while engaging in solo sex. But how? Why? And, do our partners know about this pressure point for better orgasms? This external pressure point is so incredible and effective because of the size of the g-spot/clitoris. Perhaps you’ve heard the comparison of a clitoris to an iceberg? This is because only a small percentage of the clitoris is accounted for externally when, in actuality, there’s more than meets the eye!
The g-spot and the clitoris are truly one large structure with different operating systems based on their location. The g-spot cannot be seen externally, as it wraps around the urethra, making the bladder an extremely sensitive and erotic place to touch for both penis-having and clitoris-having people. Think of a partner that’s gone down on you while holding your lower tummy and then think about the great sense of pleasure that you may have felt. If you really give it some thought I assure you that you’re having an NSFW, bone-chilling sex flashback as we speak.
And if you’ve yet to experience this superb sensation, I invite you to try it out… immediately! I would also encourage you to try exploring this sensation alone. As much as I myself enjoy it, it may not be a sensation that others enjoy (just like I’ve come across people who don’t allow themselves to squirt or generally ejaculate because they don’t like the mess that it leaves behind).
But I’d also like to add, that if and when you decide to try this posturing with a partner (or hell, even without), it’s an excellent pressure point to hit for those of you that are into edging.
Whatever, whenever, and however you choose to give this external pressure point a go, don't ever say I didn’t do anything for you.
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Featured image by David Jakle/Getty Images
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images