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Your Attitude Could Be Pushing People Out Of Your Life
2015 was definitely a trying year for me; not only because of some of the things that I experienced, but also because of some of the negative people that I allowed into my life. I found myself around people who were literally always upset and angry about every little thing. Whether it was work, school or just something as simple as missing the bus during their morning commute, they'd become infuriated at the drop of a dime. Over time, I became this type of person without even noticing.
One of my roommates specifically was always mad at everyone and everything. I can't count how many times I tried to calm her down after a big blow up about absolutely nothing. It got to the point where I started harboring the same feelings and letting every situation take the best of me. I started to live with a dark cloud above me, always looking at the glass half empty. Everyday I felt like I was waking up on the wrong side of the bed to the point where I just sat around feeling sorry for myself and felt like there was nothing good for me to look forward to. After months of living life like a "Negative Nancy," I knew it was time for a change. I began to slowly replace every negative with a positive.
Today I can say I'm much happier because of it, and so are the people around me. Negative Nancy's not only impacts the people closest to them, that negative energy can be easily passed on to a complete stranger who is in your presence for no more than a minute.
One day, I'm on the bus heading to NYC from DC when suddenly it breaks down in Delaware. The driver, who barely speaks English, informed us that we'd have to wait until a bus came from Philly so we could switch buses and get back on the road to NYC. Most of us remained calm and just grabbed food at the rest stop, mainly because it was early in the morning, and unfortunately that's the chance you take when hopping on the Chinabus. One woman though decided to complain the whole hour and a half that we had to wait. She was calling people back to back on the phone telling them the “story" and interrogated the bus driver in between phone calls.
She repeatedly said to whomever she was speaking to on the phone, “Everyone seems to be unfazed by it. I knew it was something wrong with this bus from the beginning. I knew this would happen with me taking this bus."
After a while I was beginning to get annoyed by her, and I could tell other people were too. People were literally moving their seats on the bus to get away from her, and turning up their music in their headphones. What she didn't realize, or couldn't understand rather, was that we were “un-phased" by the bus breaking down, because we didn't have any control over it. We weren't about to roll up our sleeves and fix the bus, or grab our things and walk the rest of the way to NYC, so what use was there in complaining? NONE. None at all.
There are so many things to be grateful for, so why choose to live life as a negative Nancy? Before you decide to see the negative in everything, take these things into consideration:
If you replace every negative thought with a positive one, it WILL manifest
That same energy that you put into being negative can be used to see the silver lining in every situation. Practice this on a daily basis, and I promise you that your outlook on life will begin to slowly shift.
There's no need to complain about what you can't change
It simply doesn't make any sense. Why even bother with stressing yourself and everyone around you over something that's out of your control? Stay focused on things that you can actively fix, and leave the rest up to God. Trust me, it will lift a weight off of your shoulders.
Taking ownership can really get down to the root of the perceived problem
Mad because you missed your bus? Wake up a little earlier. Didn't get the promotion that you wanted at work? Don't be upset; work a little harder. Blaming all of your problems on everyone and everything besides yourself will never resolve anything.
You shouldn't Sweat the Small Stuff
Sometimes the things that we complain about are so trivial. In the instance of my bus ride, we could have ended up in an accident or something; being stuck at a rest stop with food, a bathroom and some fresh air was nothing to complain about at all. Remember, sometimes it's just not that deep!
What are some ways you're getting rid of the negativity in your life? We'd love to hear from you!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Shaunie Henderson Says Creating 'Basketball Wives' Was A 'Matter Of Survival'
Before Shaunie Henderson married Pastor Keion D. Henderson, she was married to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, and they share six children. However, the former couple was officially divorced in May 2011, a year after the first season ofBasketball Wivespremiered. While the reality TV show, which chronicled the lives of women who were exes or current girlfriends/ wives of basketball players, had a lot of people tuned in, it also faced a lot of criticism. One of the criticisms was the portrayal of the women on the show who, at times, were fighting with each other.
However, in our exclusive interview with Shaunie, the Undefeated author said the show was created out of necessity.
"We just tend to tear our own people up for whatever reason. When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children," she said. "Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen.
She also explained that she wanted to help other women financially by having a platform that will give them access to opportunities.
"I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise."
"I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise."
Basketball Wives: LA Cast. L-R: Jac'Eil Duckworth, Brooke Bailey, Jackie Christie, Shaunie Henderson, Evelyn Lozada, Jennifer Williams, and Brandi Maxiell
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
One of Basketball Wives' most infamous moments was the fight that occurred between Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman in the second season. While it was a very explosive scene, Shaunie revealed that behind the scenes, the following day, everything was copacetic. She recalled that moment and said it was one of her most cherished memories from the show.
"It was probably the day after the infamous fight between Tami Roman and Evelyn Lozada. Evelyn had coined the “non-mf factor” phrase, and production had broken up their fight the night before. Me and her were on the beach, and Tami called to see what I was up to. I told her I was with Evelyn, and she said she was coming to meet us," she said.
"I'm thinking I'm about to be in part two. There's no security, we were off for the day and I was sure it was about to be horrible. Tami gets there. She’s already got her cigarette lit, her bob is bouncing as she walks up to us, and I just remember her saying, ‘What y’all heffas doing?’ It was just like nothing had happened at all. It was like they fought, they got it out, and she was off to the next thing."
She added, "Those type of moments I wish people could experience and see that although things happen that seem outrageous, it’s all love. It doesn't always end up perfect. But for the most part, we have had a really, really good time."
Read more from the interview here.
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Feature image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images