What Should You Do If You Or Your Partner Are Loud Snorers?
A hill that I will definitely die on is the fact that a lot of long-term couples do not end up calling it "quits" because of "big issues". Nah, it's usually the little stuff, building up over time, that drives them almost to the brink of insanity. Something that tops the list? Snoring. It's actually one of the main reasons why more and more married folks are choosing to have a sleep divorce (check out "Is It A Bad Thing If A Married Couple Is Headed For A 'Sleep Divorce'?").
Because I personally think that intimacy isn't just about sex but also moments that couples share like sleeping together, I wanted to do my part to encourage people to stay in the same room, as much as possible. So, if you and/or yours are big-time snorers and it's starting to get on each other's very last nerve, how about trying one of these 10 hacks out first?
1. Add a Couple of Pillows
If you've got a ton of pillows on your bed and you and yours happen to be snorers, they can work to your advantage beyond mere aesthetics. That's because, when you make a point to slightly elevate your head, that can keep your airways from collapsing and too much pressure from being on your chest which can result in you snoring a lot less. Just make sure to not stack up so many that you end up with a crick on your neck. Those can be the absolute worst.
2. Light a Lemon Soy Candle (or Diffuser)
OK, before I get into the benefits that come from lighting a lemon candle before going to bed, it does need to go on record that falling asleep with one comes with potential hazards. That's why it's best to either light the candle for 2-4 hours prior to turning in (and then blow it out) or to go with a diffuser instead.
That said, lemon is a great option to go with because it can help to calm your nerves and, if it happens to be infused with lemon essential oil, the properties in it can help to reduce bodily inflammation and minimize the tissue in your throat, so that you're able to breathe easier. (This is why it can also be a good idea to mix a few drops of lemon essential oil with a carrier oil like grapeseed, sweet almond, or avocado and rub it on your chest before turning in too.)
3. Turn on a Humidifier
If what typically causes triggering for you and your partner is dry air, nasal congestion, or throat irritation, turning on a humidifier at night is always going to be a wise move because it helps to put moisture in the air which can help to kill off viruses as it also soothes the tissues of your nose and throat. Just make sure that you fill yours up with distilled water; tap sometimes comes with extra minerals that can do more harm than good to your system over time. (By the way, having some water about an hour before going to sleep can help with snoring as well because it can reduce congestion which can also make snoring less of an issue.)
4. Nix the Alcohol
If nothing makes you happier than having a tall glass of wine before heading to bed, make sure that you do it no less than 2-3 hours beforehand. While it does tend to contain some sedative properties, alcohol shouldn't be seen as a consistent sleep remedy. For one thing, as your liver enzymes metabolize alcohol, that can end up disrupting your sleep cycle. And, as far as snoring goes, alcohol can relax your throat so much that you end up snoring anyway.
5. Give Each Other a Thyme Oil Foot Massage
Because there are over 7,000 nerve endings in each of your feet, it makes perfect sense why a soothing foot massage can be a perfect practice before going to bed. If this is something that you and/or your partner are totally down for, add some thyme oil into the mix. It's really effective when it comes to reducing snoring because it's got a great reputation when it comes to improving your respiratory health, calming your nervous system, and suppressing cough. Just make sure to dilute the oil with a carrier oil; pure thyme oil tends to be pretty potent.
6. Turn on Some White Noise
Here's the interesting thing about white noise — because we still can hear what's happening when we're asleep, the static sound that white noise produces can actually distract you and your partner from listening to each other's snoring. Not in a super annoying way; more like, in a way that triggers you less so that you don't end up waking up in the middle of the night mad as hell. Tech Radar is a site that has a list of some of the current best white noise machines on the market. You can check the list out here.
7. Consider Using Ear Plugs
Now here's a solution that I'm kind of surprised more people don't already do. Since quality sleep is paramount when it comes to achieving optimum health, it seems like it would be a given that folks who sleep with snorers (or folks who snore so loudly that they even wake themselves up) would own a couple of pairs of earplugs. The main thing to keep in mind with this particular tip is that long-term use of earplugs can result in a buildup of earwax or even an ear infection. That's why it's a good idea to keep some ear drops close by and that you only wear your plugs at nighttime.
8. Go to Bed at the Same Time
One of my exes was a loud snorer and it was the absolute worst. Something that I noticed, though, was when we went to bed at the same time, rarely did his snoring trigger me as much. I think it's because he typically didn't start to snore until he was in deep REM sleep and I can sometimes sleep soundly enough to not hear that.
That's why, I also think that a helpful hack can be that you and your partner try to turn in together, at least a few times a week. Not only can it help with the whole snoring issue, but it's a good way to get in some pillow talk and maybe (just maybe) a little something else…too. #wink
9. Sleep More than Five Hours a Night
If you're someone who knows that you basically only snore when you're really tired but you're not sure why that is the case, word on the street is plum exhaustion can cause your throat and tongue muscles to relax so much that you end up snoring — not just more but louder. Listen, there are a million-and-one reasons why you should sleep no less than 6-7 hours a night (eight is even better!); if you and yours want to snore less, let this serve as a top-tier motivator.
10. Spoon
That ex of mine that I mentioned? Something else that I used to take special note of is when we were spooning, he didn't snore as much (and definitely not as loudly) either. I once looked up why and it appears to be that folks snore a lot when they're on their back because it blocks their airways while sleeping on their side makes this less of an issue. Sleeping on your stomach is better than being on your back as well because your airways are still open; the problem with it is, if you have neck or lower back issues, that position could make things worse come morning time. Besides, spooning is romantic and if you sleep naked, it can lead to other activities that can make sleeping easier to do ('cause ain't NOTHING like an orgasm before trying to catch some zzz's, chile. NOTHING). Hope this helps. #winkagain
Featured image by Getty Images
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Tyler James Williams Explains Why His And Quinta Brunson 'Abbott Elementary' Characters Should Remain Friends
While Abbott Elementary fans are hoping that Janine and Gregory end up together, the show’s star has another take. Tyler James Williams plays Gregory on the Emmy award-winning sitcom, and he recently stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show to share his point of view on his storyline with Janine, which Quinta Brunson plays.
“I hate to say it. I know that everybody’s always mad at me for this. I don’t necessarily want to see them together,” he revealed. “It’s partially an actor’s choice, but also somebody who, like, I read a lot of scripts all the time. I watch a lot of TV, a lot of film. I don’t think that we see displays of platonic love between two people often. I think it’s really easy to go right to they have feelings for each other, therefore they should be together. I like this dynamic of exploring withholding that and just actively loving each other where they are. That I like to see more.”
If you recall, they were co-workers who became friends but were secretly crushing on each other. They’ve had many awkward run-ins during and after school, like the unforgettable club scene where they were dancing nervously with each other in season one, and in season two, they finally kiss. However, it only made things even more awkward, and they decided to just be friends. Tyler further explained why he thinks it’s important to showcase that type of relationship on screen.
“I think it’s time for that. I think TV allows people to see things that could be their lives for the first time, and I think seeing a healthy friendship that is deeply caring about one another in a work atmosphere needs to be shown more than the relationship,” he concluded.
Abbott Elementary comes on every Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST on ABC.
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Feature image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images