A hill that I will definitely die on is the fact that a lot of long-term couples do not end up calling it "quits" because of "big issues". Nah, it's usually the little stuff, building up over time, that drives them almost to the brink of insanity. Something that tops the list? Snoring. It's actually one of the main reasons why more and more married folks are choosing to have a sleep divorce (check out "Is It A Bad Thing If A Married Couple Is Headed For A 'Sleep Divorce'?").
Because I personally think that intimacy isn't just about sex but also moments that couples share like sleeping together, I wanted to do my part to encourage people to stay in the same room, as much as possible. So, if you and/or yours are big-time snorers and it's starting to get on each other's very last nerve, how about trying one of these 10 hacks out first?
1. Add a Couple of Pillows
If you've got a ton of pillows on your bed and you and yours happen to be snorers, they can work to your advantage beyond mere aesthetics. That's because, when you make a point to slightly elevate your head, that can keep your airways from collapsing and too much pressure from being on your chest which can result in you snoring a lot less. Just make sure to not stack up so many that you end up with a crick on your neck. Those can be the absolute worst.
2. Light a Lemon Soy Candle (or Diffuser)
OK, before I get into the benefits that come from lighting a lemon candle before going to bed, it does need to go on record that falling asleep with one comes with potential hazards. That's why it's best to either light the candle for 2-4 hours prior to turning in (and then blow it out) or to go with a diffuser instead.
That said, lemon is a great option to go with because it can help to calm your nerves and, if it happens to be infused with lemon essential oil, the properties in it can help to reduce bodily inflammation and minimize the tissue in your throat, so that you're able to breathe easier. (This is why it can also be a good idea to mix a few drops of lemon essential oil with a carrier oil like grapeseed, sweet almond, or avocado and rub it on your chest before turning in too.)
3. Turn on a Humidifier
If what typically causes triggering for you and your partner is dry air, nasal congestion, or throat irritation, turning on a humidifier at night is always going to be a wise move because it helps to put moisture in the air which can help to kill off viruses as it also soothes the tissues of your nose and throat. Just make sure that you fill yours up with distilled water; tap sometimes comes with extra minerals that can do more harm than good to your system over time. (By the way, having some water about an hour before going to sleep can help with snoring as well because it can reduce congestion which can also make snoring less of an issue.)
4. Nix the Alcohol
If nothing makes you happier than having a tall glass of wine before heading to bed, make sure that you do it no less than 2-3 hours beforehand. While it does tend to contain some sedative properties, alcohol shouldn't be seen as a consistent sleep remedy. For one thing, as your liver enzymes metabolize alcohol, that can end up disrupting your sleep cycle. And, as far as snoring goes, alcohol can relax your throat so much that you end up snoring anyway.
5. Give Each Other a Thyme Oil Foot Massage
Because there are over 7,000 nerve endings in each of your feet, it makes perfect sense why a soothing foot massage can be a perfect practice before going to bed. If this is something that you and/or your partner are totally down for, add some thyme oil into the mix. It's really effective when it comes to reducing snoring because it's got a great reputation when it comes to improving your respiratory health, calming your nervous system, and suppressing cough. Just make sure to dilute the oil with a carrier oil; pure thyme oil tends to be pretty potent.
6. Turn on Some White Noise
Here's the interesting thing about white noise — because we still can hear what's happening when we're asleep, the static sound that white noise produces can actually distract you and your partner from listening to each other's snoring. Not in a super annoying way; more like, in a way that triggers you less so that you don't end up waking up in the middle of the night mad as hell. Tech Radar is a site that has a list of some of the current best white noise machines on the market. You can check the list out here.
7. Consider Using Ear Plugs
Now here's a solution that I'm kind of surprised more people don't already do. Since quality sleep is paramount when it comes to achieving optimum health, it seems like it would be a given that folks who sleep with snorers (or folks who snore so loudly that they even wake themselves up) would own a couple of pairs of earplugs. The main thing to keep in mind with this particular tip is that long-term use of earplugs can result in a buildup of earwax or even an ear infection. That's why it's a good idea to keep some ear drops close by and that you only wear your plugs at nighttime.
8. Go to Bed at the Same Time
One of my exes was a loud snorer and it was the absolute worst. Something that I noticed, though, was when we went to bed at the same time, rarely did his snoring trigger me as much. I think it's because he typically didn't start to snore until he was in deep REM sleep and I can sometimes sleep soundly enough to not hear that.
That's why, I also think that a helpful hack can be that you and your partner try to turn in together, at least a few times a week. Not only can it help with the whole snoring issue, but it's a good way to get in some pillow talk and maybe (just maybe) a little something else…too. #wink
9. Sleep More than Five Hours a Night
If you're someone who knows that you basically only snore when you're really tired but you're not sure why that is the case, word on the street is plum exhaustion can cause your throat and tongue muscles to relax so much that you end up snoring — not just more but louder. Listen, there are a million-and-one reasons why you should sleep no less than 6-7 hours a night (eight is even better!); if you and yours want to snore less, let this serve as a top-tier motivator.
10. Spoon
That ex of mine that I mentioned? Something else that I used to take special note of is when we were spooning, he didn't snore as much (and definitely not as loudly) either. I once looked up why and it appears to be that folks snore a lot when they're on their back because it blocks their airways while sleeping on their side makes this less of an issue. Sleeping on your stomach is better than being on your back as well because your airways are still open; the problem with it is, if you have neck or lower back issues, that position could make things worse come morning time. Besides, spooning is romantic and if you sleep naked, it can lead to other activities that can make sleeping easier to do ('cause ain't NOTHING like an orgasm before trying to catch some zzz's, chile. NOTHING). Hope this helps. #winkagain
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
Success Cities: Black Women Share The Places Where They Thrive
Several organizations and new sites release lists of the “best places for millennials," the “best places for young professionals,” or the "best cities for Black women." The lists offer options for many who are either seeking better opportunities or need that reminder that where they are is actually where it’s at. These lists also always prompt popular and frequent debates online about why a city is (or isn’t) what everyone popularly says it is.
It’s always good to be able to say that you’ve found a city where you can thrive in your career (and in your life overall), whether it’s because of the opportunities for jobs, places to visit and eat, nightlife, traditions, and culture, or family-friendly elements.
For me, this city is Negril, located in the Westmoreland parish of Jamaica. I fell in love with it seven years ago as someone who was only ever familiar with Kingston and its neighboring parishes. While I’ve lived and worked in major cities, including Washington, D.C., and Brooklyn, New York, my latest transition has set my sights on digital nomad island life.
Not only is Negril more than a tourist spot now, with a growing community of young professionals, millennial expats, and entrepreneurs, it has a nice mixture of cultures and people, affordable housing options, a range of restaurants and leisure experiences, entrepreneurship niches, and real estate investment opportunities. It’s slow enough to have a calming effect but not quite a snooze retirement spot where you're not right at the cusp of an adventure. And even better, it's not too far from a more bustling city (with nightlife, more restaurants, and even more entrepreneurs, professionals, and expats), Montego, Bay.
Negril is like a second home for me, as I visit often, keep major connections there, and find it ideal for my writing and editing career. I can connect more with my Caribbean culture and nature and embrace a peaceful, less hectic existence while there.
I caught up with a few more fabulous and successful women professionals to talk about the cities where they’ve found success, happiness, balance, and longevity and why they chose to stick around:
Nicole Blake-Baxter, Managing Director and Founder, The Blake Agency
Metro Atlanta Area, (Johns Creek, Ga.)
IG: @theblakeagency_
“I relocated to Atlanta about 10 years ago from Brooklyn, NY. I initially launched my media and marketing agency in New York City several years prior but rebranded and made a strategic shift to a full-service PR firm when I moved to Georgia."
Her Origins: "I was born in Kingston, Jamaica. I lived between the United States and Jamaica during my childhood and permanently moved to New York as a teen."
Why Atlanta? “My move to Atlanta was out of necessity; I needed a lifestyle change and felt I had outgrown the hustle and bustle of New York City. There’s a saying that ‘Discomfort is a catalyst for growth.’ In a short time, I went from trying to climb the corporate ladder to launching a business and becoming a mother. I was struggling to navigate motherhood and entrepreneurship, and that discomfort pushed me to seek out a new environment.”
“Relocating to Atlanta was the best decision for me personally and professionally. It provides a healthy balance of everything I need to raise happy and well-rounded children and grow a successful business. Although moving to a new city with no close friends or relatives can be unnerving, it made me more disciplined in my approach to entrepreneurship.”
What She Loves Most About Her City:Family-friendly environment, lower cost of living, business opportunities. “Many of our new business leads are tech founders and travel brands that want to work with an agency in the southern region.”
Jasmine Dary, Founder, Twisted Corks
Nashville, TN
IG @TwistedCorks
“Nashville is a big, but small-feel city. It’s the perfect place to be if you want to keep Southern roots without losing the big-town opportunities. It’s constantly growing, which I find to be exciting. There’s always something new happening here for the first time, and being part of this city’s early adopters for cool concepts and experiences is one of my favorite self-proclaimed roles. There’s also a unique and tight-knit entrepreneur community here. In addition to exciting career opportunities, I knew that I’d eventually want to thrive in entrepreneurship.”
Her Origins: “I was born and raised in Chattanooga, Tenn., and made my way to Murfreesboro after college until naturally progressing to Nashville to pursue career and business opportunities.”
Why Nashville? “I first moved to Nashville in 2012 to make a major career shift from higher education to corporate marketing in wine and spirits. Coming from a much smaller college town, I instantly fell in love with the city! This job became the catalyst for so many future opportunities and interests including starting my own company, Twisted Corks.
"I was thrown in the mix for some of the city’s biggest events and worked alongside some of the world’s largest spirits brands. This corporate experience plus genuine passion granted me credibility with even my earliest business clients.”
What She Loves Most About Her City:Family-friendly, community, events (like the Nashville Black Chamber happy hour), Programs (like the Nashville Entrepreneur Center’s Preflight program for new startups.) “I’m thriving here, but I’m definitely not doing it alone.”
Christen Rochon, National Account Executive, NBCUniversal
Detroit, Michigan
IG @CandidlyChristen
“Detroit is more than just a place to work—it’s a place where innovation, resilience, and culture are embedded in the fabric of daily life. What makes Detroit especially unique is its long-standing history as an industrial powerhouse, balanced with a fresh momentum in tech, arts, and small business development. In my career in marketing and media, I’ve come to see Detroit as an evolving ecosystem where diverse industries intersect, creating rich opportunities for growth and impact.”
Her Origins: “I’m a born-and-raised Detroiter, however, my career in broadcast and digital media has taken me to Charlotte, N.C., New York City, and Chicago.”
Why Detroit? “Detroiters know how to rebuild and innovate, and this grit translates into the professional landscape here. The city's thriving entrepreneurial scene fosters collaboration, and its well-connected business community continually encourages professionals to think creatively and work cross-functionally.”
“It’s a place where you can see firsthand how your work makes a difference, from witnessing the revitalizing neighborhoods to supporting the next generation of innovators. The opportunities for mentorship and giving back here are endless; I’ve been privileged to contribute through roles that support education, community engagement, and innovation—efforts that are deeply connected to Detroit’s story of transformation.
What She Loves Most About Her City: Vibrant seasons, close-knit communities, rich history, opportunities for growth, culture of entrepreneurial grit and service. “Detroit offers the potential for financial success and legacy building. As the eldest of 10, family is incredibly important to me, and returning to Detroit allowed me not only to be close to family but also be in a space to establish my own. Being part of Detroit’s evolution is exciting.”
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