Quantcast
RELATED

Dear DV:

After five years, I have finally landed my dream job (salary included!). I am super excited because it has given me the opportunity to finally become a homeowner. It seems as if my life is finally coming together. Recently, I met a man that I think I may be falling in love with but there's only one problem. He's broke, he has no job and no working car. He has big dreams and I understand he's trying to figure it out. My mind (and my girls) are telling me to walk away but my heart is telling me to give it a try.

- Signed, In Love With Potential

As a woman, I commend you for finally being able to pursue your dreams. In the beginning stages of my career, I wasn't as fortunate as you were. I was a single mother working full-time and still had to make time to pursue my dreams. My life was far from easy but because I didn't have a backup plan, I had no choice but to figure it out. I share this because the man you have fallen in love with may be in a similar position. Perhaps, he's trying to figure it out.

I wouldn't discount it just because he's not perfect on paper.

Related: Dating a Man Who Lived Long Distance With No Job, No House, & a Kid Was the Best Decision of My Life

media.giphy.com

In my book Going The Distance For Love, I share with my readers the importance of not being afraid to reevaluate your checklist. You never know what you could be missing out on by holding yourself hostage to a list that may or may not even be realistic (remember the show What Chilli Wants?). Before you decide if you want to fully pursue this relationship, consider the following things:

Cream Rises To The Top!

Everyone has dreams but the real question is, does he have potential? Potential is defined as having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future. I also believe that women have a sixth sense and you have to learn to listen to your inner voice. We can see the signs of potential because it is more than just talking a good game.

What's The Plan?

Any man can have a plan but does your man have a plan of action? Is he focused? Has he shared the steps he is taking to realize his dreams? Does his plans include more than your support and possibly your money?

Walk It Like I Talk It

Hard work and preparation always lead to opportunity. The laws of attraction and reciprocity are real, so if he displays these qualities, then I think it's worth holding onto the relationship. This goes back to reevaluating your checklist. Are your top priorities for the man of your dreams that he make 6+ figures, is already established, and has zero debt, or is it at the top of your list that he treats you like a queen, is patient and supportive of the woman that you, and he is committed to his spiritual relationship and growth?

Related: Dating for Potential & When to Say When

Life is a journey and it doesn't always go as planned, so ignore the noise, the naysayers (yes, even your girlfriends and your mom) and trust the process. You will be so glad that you did.

Featured image by Shutterstock

 

RELATED

 
ALSO ON XONECOLE
Melanie Fiona

Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.

“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.

KEEP READINGShow less
You'd Be Amazed How Much These 10 Essential Oils Can Give You Some Blissful Sleep

If you’re someone who has a sleep routine (or you’re seriously thinking about creating one), please make sure that you incorporate scent into it. Although things like a cooler temperature in your bedroom, incorporating nature sounds (like rain or ocean waves via a sound machine or even a YouTube channel) and even sipping on some tart cherry juice are proven ways to get you the quality of rest that you’re after, science says that your sense of smell shouldn’t be overlooked.

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS