Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin married after only six months of dating and have been living blissfully in melanin matrimony since 2012. While many have asked the couple when they'll make their twosome a party of three, Meagan and DeVon recently told the audience at The Dr. Oz Show that they'll start family planning when they're good and damn ready.
Although the couple says that they are eager to expand their family, timing has been an important factor in their decision-making process. DeVon explained that although there were times throughout their 7-year marriage when he expressed he was ready for children, he later discovered that Meagan was not.
"Before we got married, we spent a long time waiting and that waiting actually laid a foundation because in marriage — we've been married for seven years. So we've had this dialogue about having kids. And I've wanted kids and she wasn't ready and then there were times we were talking about it."
While in the past, women weren't afforded the luxury of time when it came to conceiving children, technology has put its game down, flipped it and reversed the medical industry so that our biological clocks no longer have to feel like ticking time bombs. Egg freezing is a method that women like Halsey, Angela Rye, and now, Meagan Good and her husband say has changed their perspective on childbirth. According to DeVon, the couple decided to move forward with the process after a suggestion made by Dr. Oz:
"As I've come on the show and we've been friends for years, you always encouraged us to freeze eggs. And so we did that. At the beginning of the year, we froze eggs and we probably wouldn't have done it without your urging. So thank you."
DeVon went on to say that the time they've had to spend together alone in their marriage has made them even more prepared to become parents:
"Because we had the foundation of waiting in patience and preparing, it actually gave us the tools we needed to be successful in marriage. I think a lot of times we're rushing. We're in an Instagram society. We all want it now, but there's a lot of value in just taking time, committing to the process, and letting the process take us where it wants us to be."
Meagan, who recently launched a 30-day fitness challenge, says that she always knew it was in the cards for her to become a mother later in life and thinks now may be the perfect time to start:
"That's a part of why I did the 30-day challenge as well, because I wanted to really set an affirmation into the world and say, 'Okay. I'm preparing myself for things that I want career-wise, but I'm also preparing myself for having children. And again, for me, it was really about how do I say to myself, like this is every part of me getting ready for that? So yeah, we're in a place now where we're looking to do it."
Featured image by Sony Pictures Television / The Dr. Oz Show.
- How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - The Atlantic ›
- Family Matters podcast: The surge of women freezing their eggs ... ›
- DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good Open Up About Their Fertility ... ›
- Did Meghan Markle Do Fertility Treatment? - Dr.Aimee Eyvazzadeh ... ›
- Celebrities on Dealing with Infertility | PEOPLE.com ›
- Meagan Good Reveals She Froze Her Eggs ›
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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