The art of allowing
Life & Travel

How To Master The Art Of Allowing

As we’ve entered a new year, it’s time to shed the burdens of the past and prepare for a new chapter in our lives. For me, this season of my life is about allowing - letting go of the baggage of the past and all anxiety about the future. We often hear about “detachment” in the context of “not caring” and being cold and unfeeling, but the art of detachment is about something much deeper and much more liberating than becoming immune to our emotions.

The true beauty in detachment is finding agency in our response to external events, circumstances, and people and allowing the things we truly desire to easily come into our lives.

We’re only here to experience other people - not control them. 

It can be hard to let go of that friendship or relationship we wanted so badly, but the truth is, we can’t control other people. Whether they leave us or do us wrong is up to them. We only have control over our responses to those experiences. We’re only here to experience each other and enjoy things while they’re fun or good for us. Mastering how to move on once that experience is over makes difficult situations much easier to navigate. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt, but this shift in mindset will save you some heartache.

What you hold onto too tightly, you will lose.

The art of allowing

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Have you ever noticed how when you stop waiting for that text or checking for that email and move on with your day, that’s when you receive it? Have you ever had a fleeting thought about someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, and they reach out soon after? My favorite example is one I’m sure we’ve all experienced - the minute you get over your ex that’s when they come crawling back. These are all examples of the art of detachment or “allowing.”

When we detach from, or let go of, the outcome, it speeds up our manifestations. Law of Attraction Coach, Abraham Hicks, calls it “flowing downstream” or “allowing.” Imagine the effort it would take to swim upstream vs. downstream or trying to hold a cork underwater vs. allowing it to float on top of the water.

Focus on what you can control. 

As the perfectly flawed beings that we are, we feel like we need to control everything in our lives. The idea of letting go can be frightening, but I challenge you to change your perspective on this and see it as liberating instead. Think about how heavy a burden it is to try to orchestrate our every experience. Wouldn’t it be far easier to focus only on the things you can control? This doesn’t mean pretending not to care when you’re hurt, rejected, or betrayed. It means focusing on how you respond to those situations and taking charge of the good-feeling things you can do for yourself.

You can work on your self-confidence by taking on challenging new hobbies or going to the gym. You can work on finding new love by going to events or participating in activities you enjoy with new people. You can find a better job by updating your resume, expanding your network, and refining your skills. By focusing on the things you can control, you open yourself up for more joy to come into your life.

There is only the present.

The art of allowing

F.J. Jimenez/ Getty Images

You’ve probably heard the saying “all we have is now.” We only ever have the present moment and staying present releases us from the ties of the past and the pull of the future. When we let go of our past hurt and future anxieties and choose to focus on what we can control - the here and now - we allow ourselves to truly romanticize our lives and take each moment as it comes. And, after all, that’s the point, right? As Abraham Hicks teaches, the purpose of life is joy and the result is growth.

What are you trying to let go of? Let me know in the comments.

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