I had the best sex of my life when I was at my ideal weight, which is about 40 pounds lighter than I am right now.
I already have a high libido, but when I was confident in my physical appearance, I wanted to f*ck all the time, in every position, everywhere just because I felt good knowing how good I looked doing it. I didn't have to make sure my rolls weren't doing too much rolling around, or wonder if my muffin top looked more like a bagel from the back.
I was able to focus so much more of my attention on intimacy and my own sexual fulfillment that orgasms came quickly and easy for me. I understand now that the great sex I had was never really about how much I weighed, but more so how I felt about myself personally. When you have a positive self-image, it eliminates all the self-doubt and insecurity associated with intimacy and gives you the opportunity to focus on what's most important: your orgasm.
Loni love recently opened up on The Real about how her weight loss gave her confidence in the bedroom and improved her sex life. She said that before, she would be physically unable or unmotivated to experiment with new sex positions, leaving her feeling stifled sexually and unsatisfied.
"It was only one position I could do because of my um — breath was getting cut off, when I tried to like lay on my back, because my stomach was in the way."
One thing I appreciate about Loni is her candid way of saying things that we all, in one shape or form, have experienced.
I don't like being on top. There, I admit it. When I was younger, it wasn't my favorite position because I'm somewhat athletically uncoordinated, but now, it's something I refuse to do.
Riding d*ck is a vulnerable, intimate experience where your partner is left looking up at your naked body in all of its glory. My titties sag a little, I have a gut, and I can never quite find my rhythm. When I'm on top of a man, looking into his eyes, I know that he can see all of my insecurities.
This feeling of insecurity is so intense for me, that I refrain from having sex at all. At some point, I made the conscious decision to sacrifice my desires for intimacy for hollow insecurities that I feel could all melt away if I got serious about drafting and achieving my own personal body goals.
Loni said that after losing 30 pounds, she has a few new tricks up her sleeve in the bedroom and has developed a more positive self-image. You don't have to be a size two to feel good about your sexuality and femininity, but if you set some concrete and tangible goals that cater to your insecurities, I can guarantee that you'll see an improvement in your sex life.
It's difficult to be transparent with your partner if you're not comfortable with what that transparency looks like. Without transparency, can you really reach an optimal level of pleasure and intimacy?
Remember: when you feel sexy, you are sexy, and the sex is lit.
It may not be as easy as it looks, but Loni proves that it's always a good time for self-improvement, especially when it's in the name of good sex.
Featured image by Moses Robinson/Getty Images for BET
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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