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Just Like Halle Berry, My Mom Was Pregnant At 51
The 2016 presidential election was utterly exhausting to both myself and my husband. While my husband does a far better job than I at keeping up with politics and the history behind each political issue - mostly because he never ever wants to be "that Hotep guy" - I tend to lag behind a little. But we do what we can to keep each other informed.
For us, the most draining political issue is abortion. While I've never had an abortion, my mother has, and her abortion impacted everyone in my family, including herself.
It happened several years ago when my mother discovered that she was pregnant at 51 years old.
I was 30.
About the time my mom got pregnant, she started to have a deeper appreciation and love for herself. After years of low self-esteem and self-worth because of her brown skin, she suddenly changed. She told herself every day how "fine" she was because she was brown-skinned. She started dressing more nicely than what I remember and sashaying her hips to the tune of rhythmic drums that only she could hear.
Mom was so excited to be feeling good after more than 20 years of drug and alcohol abuse, that she started to have some adventure in her life, like she was in her 20s again. She found a boyfriend who was two years older than I was, and "had a little fun with him," as she often joked.
Then one day she went to the hospital, and they wouldn't release her.
When I got to her hospital room, she laughed a little before she told me that she was pregnant. I thought she was joking until she started describing her symptoms to me. Like hard boobs and nausea.
After grossing me out a little more, she finally broke down what the doctor told her: because of her prior medical history, she was going to have to choose whether she wanted to carry the babies full term and risk dying, or if she wanted to proceed with an abortion.
In the back of my mind, I just knew my mother had already scheduled an abortion. After all, there will never be another woman like my mom walking this Earth. Also, she was older and I knew she didn't have the patience to raise twins. Nope.
But she didn't schedule it. My mom said that she wanted to go home and think it over.
For the next few days, my mother thought it over by being a mom again. She started to celebrate the slight changes in her body. She enjoyed saying that she "ate for three." But I had to draw the line when she started talking about my 3-year-old son playing with her twins. I just wasn't ready to think about the possibility of raising twins if my mother died during childbirth, and it scared me.
I didn't like my mother's pregnancy because it meant that I could possibly lose her. My son was getting bigger and smarter before her eyes. My husband started hanging out with her more, forming a closer friendship that she cherished dearly. And most of all, my mother became my best friend. After years of fighting, arguing, and hating the woman drugs and alcohol made her, she found a way to give me more love than what she could when I was a young girl. I knew that I wasn't ready to give that away.
Then one day, she went to the hospital and refused to see me for a few weeks. Perhaps she thought that I wouldn't forgive her because she had an abortion. All I know is that I wanted her to live, but I was fine with whatever choice she made. After all, it was hers to make.
Looking back, my mom had a tough time reconciling with her abortion. She talks about how old her kids would have been all the time, and sometimes when she prays, she asks for forgiveness. This situation also forced me to rethink my ideas about late-term pregnancies.
Just like many other people, I was under the impression that a woman having a baby over 40 is repugnant, because the older she gets, the more she puts her child at risk for illnesses. The truth is that as long as you take care of yourself, you can have a baby until your body decides to stop preparing you for one.
Halle Berry proved this idea to be true when she recently walked the red carpet of the 16th Annual Chrysalis Butterfly Ball with what the internet is calling a baby bump. Just shy of her 51st birthday, she looks amazing!
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Last year, 50-year-old Janet Jackson shocked the world with her pregnancy announcement. She told PEOPLE, “We thank God for our blessing."
The good news is that my mother had a choice, to begin with. I'm happy that I have her walking this life with me every day. For that, I am thankful. The bad news is that every election year, I have to be reminded of why abortion, which shouldn't even be an issue, is one to begin with.
Although it pained me to see my mother go through this, I wish all women out there happiness and successful births.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
@cineaxries i love them 🤧 #janacraig #janaandkenny #loveislandusa #foryou #peacock #loveisland #janaloveisland #xybca #kennyloveisland #janaedit #loveislandedit #janaedits #loveislandusaedit #viral #loveislandusaseason6 #foryoupage #peacocktv
"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."