When I was younger, I associated singleness with loneliness and as I approach my late twenties, I realize that I was dead ass wrong. Although relationships are seen as a trophy or reward to be posted and paraded, I've grown to learn that I'm looking for much more than a man that will buy me Chic-Fil-A and blow my back out from time to time.
As I consistently glow TF up and walk further into my purpose, I know that being single isn't a punishment, it's a time for preparation. R&B "Classic Man," Jidenna agrees with me and says that although he's known to walk alone, he's alone for a reason.
As much as I hate when men ask me why I'm single, I'm currently wondering the same thing about this R&B Classic Man, but on a recent episode of the Yes, Girl! podcast, Jidenna spilled all the tea about why he's choosing to live the single life for now. He explained:
"During the 'Classic Man' era, I was closed. I did not trust. I already had my own trust issues just coming off previous relationships [and] my parents' relationship, because it was not healthy. So, I was like, 'nah, I'm not going to date.' You start just re-dating exes. Then there's an expiration date at a certain point. So with this campaign, I want to be open. That was me talking to myself and putting it out there."
Last month, the 34-year-old "Bambi" singer got real about his views on monogamy and said that his experience with polyamory was one of the "worst pains" he's ever felt in his life. After a tumultuous breakup and a series of short-lived affairs, Jidenna has decided to press pause on his romantic life for a very relatable reason.
I've grown to believe that falling in love and wanting commitment is all about timing, and Jidenna echoed this sentiment in the interview:
"I like connection, but the time's not there. I don't want to say I don't have it, but I'm not going to make the time right now. Not in the middle of '85 To Africa'. Maybe in between albums. The tough part is artists have to be in stock more than ever now and you have to push out content."
Any hardworking creative in the digital age can relate to the time management struggle, and Jidenna says the impersonal nature of online dating only makes matters worse:
"All those things make it really hard for anybody to date. And you're so swipeable now that you might like, 'eh, I just didn't like the little bump behind her earlobe.'…it's ridiculous now."
While Jidenna let's time do the matchmaking when it comes to meeting his one-day wife (it's me, I'm over here), he's making sure that his time spent waiting is well-utilized:
"The thing that I'm always trying to rewire is the bits of misogyny and sexism that still exist in me every day constantly. If it's not in me and I see it in another man, I'll have to educate [him] and clear it out at a certain point.
As a true ally to the movement, Jidenna is taking the time to check himself and the people around him for misogynistic defects that may have been previously overlooked:
"I've fired so many men over the years. I work with a lot of women on the team, and I don't want an environment where women don't feel comfortable. That kills everything I stand for."
To listen to the full interview, click here!
Featured image by @Jidenna.