![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![I’ve Been Trying To Be Celibate For Years. This Is Attempt Number 329.](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xMjYwOTYxNC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc2OTM0MjM3NH0.5N5d5TIhMoCbKGYxedevQhhIQAsTwVB9nZXQl9r9o28/img.jpg?width=980&quality=90)
I’ve Been Trying To Be Celibate For Years. This Is Attempt Number 329.
I've been “trying" to be celibate for almost 3 years.
I was supposed to be a virgin until I was married, but obviously that plan went left. Honestly, I never thought I would have sex with him, but it just happened, ya know? He was 6'1", dark chocolate, broad shoulders, strong arms, perfect smile…I'm feeling “a type of way" just thinking about him.
But he was an upperclassman and a linebacker on our university's football team, and I was a freshman, but I wasn't stupid. My mama told me, “Boys only want one thing" and I saw plenty of my girlfriends give the cookie to some nappy headed boy, and when he eventually stopped texting back, I had to consult them and say gently, “Girl you ain't need that negativity in your life anyway." Most importantly, I had been in church my whole life, so I knew sex before marriage was **strictly forbidden**.
So even though I dressed up to class every day just in case I might pass him in the hall, and even though we Netflix'd “The Cosby Show" and chilled, and even though we had some pretty intense make-out sessions, he never made it in my pants! (Go me!) He tried it, but I channeled my inner Ciara and declared “If you looking for the goodies, keep on looking 'cus they stay in the jarrrrrr."
Until a year and a half later, when he professed his love for me, and asked me to be his girlfriend. It happened about three weeks into our new relationship. It was a regular night when I found myself under his warm body. I didn't tell him to get off and I didn't tell him to stop, but eventually it was over.
I laid there in shock. I was in disbelief that I just let that happen.
Luckily, the next day was Sunday, so I ran to the house of the Lord to repent. “I'm never having sex again." I honestly meant it, I swear, but no more than three hours after service, I was in his kitchen and we were getting it on next to the refrigerator.
Don't judge me!
It was like nothing I had experienced before. He made my legs shake, he me made me scream-almost cry-because it was so good. But I still felt bad. I knew I was sinning. I knew God was looking at me and shaking his head, and I tried to stop! I prayed about it, repented 100 times, but the flesh is weak.
As our relationship grew, we only got closer. We talked every day, laughed about everything, held hands in Walmart - all that. He genuinely made me happy. I was my happiest self with him and even happier when he was in me. But I was also sad and guilty.
I just knew God wanted nothing to do with me.
So, I prayed some more: “God take these lustful feelings away from me!" “God get him away from me if he's not good for me!" “Help, please." And yes, I tried breaking up with him, but I loved him so much. We found ourselves back together again.
So, I went back to my bible and 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, “But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust."
So instead of trying to break up, I turned to marriage. I just wanted to make God happy. Hey, sex isn't bad! Sex before marriage is bad! If we were married, people would be telling us to have more sex!
We've been dating almost three years today, and it's pretty much perfect. He's the funniest, most handsome, most caring guy. We go to church together and we pray together and for each other. He wants to be celibate as much as me. One time we were kissing and he said, “Hey, let's stop and pray."
It was cheesy, but I thought it was cute. (He's trying y'all). But sometimes we just lose it. Our bodies call out to each other and we rip each other's clothes off. We melt away into each other. Dripping in sweat. He grips my hands, and I feel him deep inside of my body. I moan his name, and I can't believe I'm even allowed to feel this magical in my human life.
When we make love, I feel so close to him. I feel like I'm exploring the depths of his soul. I wrap my arms around him and tilt my head back, and I want to have his children. I want the love and passion I feel to be manifested into beautiful life. A baby born from this type of lovemaking would be a miracle in itself.
But eventually, after the orgasms and moans, when I'm alone with myself and my thoughts, the guilt floods in again. But I wouldn't feel bad if I was married! Ugh.
But we're moving forward. He proposed on New Year's and I said, “Yes!" But in the meantime, I'm still not married, the sex is still great, and I'm stilltrying to be celibate.
Featured image by Getty Images
- 4 Lessons We Learned After Practicing Celibacy For Over 3 Years ... ›
- Life without sex – it's better than you think | Anonymous | Opinion ... ›
- The Pros and Cons of Celibacy ›
- Ciara opens up about being celibate with Russell Wilson, ex-fian ... ›
- She Wants To Be Celibate Now? ›
- I Tried Celibacy To Find Sexual Healing — But It Backfired | Ravishly ... ›
- 4 Reasons To Be Celibate (That Don't Involve Religion) | YourTango ›
- Why I Think Everyone Should Try Abstinence for a Year ›
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images