If you've ever googled Hedonism II, you have likely found message boards wondering if the resort is filled with a bunch of naked people having lots of sex in public. So, when I was invited to experience the resort myself, I was a little apprehensive — but like Shonda Rhimes, I said yes. In my mind, what did I have to lose by packing my bags, jetting off to Jamaica, and spending four days at a clothing-optional resort? Nothing.
Well, except my clothes.
Growing up in Atlanta, I always felt like we were "liberal," but when I look at how I was raised, my parents are very conservative. While I am the most liberal thinker in my family, I recognize that my conservative nature comes out in how I present myself to the world, and how I see my sexuality. The moment I hit puberty, my mom made sure I always wore a slip, a bra, and full panties because I guess anything else would have made me too fast or too grown.
I understand why she did what she did. Her objective was to "make sure I looked like a child" so that grown men wouldn't sexualize me too early and I wouldn't be prone to sexual violence. The sad part is both of those things happened even with me doing all of the right things. As I packed for Hedo, I thought about this a lot, even calling myself a "prude" in conversation with friends when I talked about my trip. Wearing anything low-cut, short, or that shows any skin beyond what my parents taught me was acceptable makes me uncomfortable. I'm either covering up with a blazer or pulling down my skirt in fear of showing too much. Much of that now comes from all of my experiences with men from a distance and those that have been important in my life.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
I decided I was going against the grain for this trip.
My body has been policed, abused, and shamed. In my mind, this was my chance to take my power back. To defy the idea that wearing short, sheer, and sexy clothes made me anything but the beautiful black woman I am becoming.
I hit Amazon and added pasties, a sheer dress, and a strappy leopard swimsuit to my cart. I also knew I was "packing" my birthday suit because I was going to the nude beach and disrobing.
When I arrived, I was greeted by Denise and Chantel. Two stunning black women who treated me like family from the start. I soon met up with my girls for the four-day stay dressed in a thong, pasties, and a sheer dress. I questioned whether it was too early to be letting it all hang out since it was my first time meeting the group, but the ladies validated me immediately.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Later, we caught the fetish show that featured stunning black men and women dressed in sheer bodysuits, colorful pasties, and at certain points, they were topless. As I watched them twerk, grind, and own their bodies — I was inspired. How does one get to this point in life? Especially the ladies. We are taught from the jump that enjoying sex is for men, and we're just there to fulfill their pleasure and fantasies. Then layering on sexual liberation as a black woman? Whoa, that's a whole different article.
After watching the show, I knew I was ready for the nude side of the beach. When in Rome…
There is a nude side and a prude side at Hedo, and while the prude side offers a chance to be naked or clothed, on the nude side, your only option is letting yourself be free. I gathered the girls after lunch, and we started our walk down the sandy stretch of the beach towards the nude side. Once we got there, we all hesitated. I felt knots in my stomach and kind of wanted to turn back, but I didn't. I went for it. I took off my swimsuit top and bottom and walked freely across the sand with the four other ladies with me.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
I'd be telling a story if I told you it didn't feel awkward. "Is anyone looking at me?" I thought. Well, the answer to that is yes.
But, everyone was naked, so it made that reality less weird. Laying out and walking into the water sans clothing was incredibly liberating, much like my experience at Hedo. The resort is not about being a "freak," it's about letting go of judgment, eating good food, watching great entertainment, and dancing the night away at the disco or at a toga foam party.
My experience not only was a stepping stone in me, it was a moment of reclaiming my body from a traumatic situation that still haunts me. It helped me realize that I'm not as "okay" as I thought I was. There are moments when I walked the long way so that I didn't have to interact with men, there were times when I cowered when men complimented me. Having those reactions a month, two months or even years after an assault is normal, and as my fellow writer and new friend *Delores said, "You don't owe anyone an explanation."
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
The women of Hedo (who were all women of color) that I met on this trip (Hey Denise, Michelle, Diana, and Melissa!), are why I'd recommend women hit the resort with their girls. Hedonism isn't about hooking up with random people (which is an option if that's what you're into) or going nude. The resort is about allowing yourself to experience life without judgment and restriction, no matter what that looks like to you— and know that you're in a safe space to explore, thanks to women I mentioned above.
You can have whatever experience you desire. If going topless and walking the beach is your version of taking a chance, you can do that. If you're into finding a sex partner(s), to explore sexually, you can do that. Want to have sex in a pool out in the open? You can try that, too (I saw that for myself.). Or, if you just want a drink, tan, take twerking lessons, snorkel, and eat chicken wings (which are so good) at two o'clock in the morning, live your best life, sis.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Sexual liberation can come in any form.
My liberation came from walking the beach naked and being reminded that I own the rights to my body no matter what a man, these Republicans, or society says.
I'm grateful I was able to have this "aha moment" amongst women who were supportive and fun; at a resort that is as beautiful as it is transformative.
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Featured image by Getty Images/EyeEm
Originally published on June 11, 2019
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When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole