5 Ways To Detox Your Mind For A Mental Reset
As we say goodbye to 2020 and gracefully move into 2021, it's only right we say goodbye to our thought patterns that no longer serve us. I started my healing journey in December of 2018 after a toxic relationship. At the time, my mind was filled with broken thoughts of all men, love, and relationships. This toxic frame of mind eventually carried into my lifestyle and confidence in new relationships.
I decided to adopt a mindful detox practice to heal and attract more positivity into my life. During my detox journey, I eventually discovered the law of attraction. The idea that our mind is the gateway to our reality. It was that moment your girl became woke! In my experience, when I was comfortable in my toxic thought patterns, I eventually developed a lack mindset. A lack mindset is the idea of living in scarcity. A few examples are: "I can't", "I'll never have", or "I'm not good enough."
I unknowingly manifested more lack into my life rather than abundance.
Since adopting a detox practice for myself, I have noticed a huge difference in my aura, stress levels, relationships, self-esteem, and overall mental health. Detoxing your mind is essential if you want to find love, manifest more opportunities, and change your life, period! Here are 5 ways to detox your mind.
Embrace The Power Of The Pause
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A great way to detoxify the mind is by pausing. Adopting a meditation practice is one way to embrace the power of the pause. There is so much clarity that can be found in silence. Take a moment to be with yourself and your thoughts. You can do this by sitting up straight and closing your eyes. Focus on five to 10 deep breaths inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Dedicating as little as five minutes every day can give us awareness of our thought patterns and help us see the beauty in lessons life is teaching us. It also allows us to put our past experiences at rest and allows us to embrace the present moment.
Give Yourself Permission To Feel
As women of color, we are rarely permitted to feel. We are raised to be strong. To be the foundation of the home. To nurture our families and loved ones before we nurture our hearts. We lend our ears to those who need to be heard, our hearts for those who need to feel love, and our bodies to create more life. Women of color are valid in their feelings. Permit yourself to feel every single emotion. There is beauty in the flow of your tears, pain, and frustration. Allow yourself to feel and have a rebirth.
Journaling
Getty ImagesI am a huge fan of journaling. I love writing out my thoughts when I am triggered, having an ordinary day, or am overdue for a good mental detox. To detox is to release our body of any toxicities that no longer serve us. It's important to release the negative words we associate ourselves or situations with. Writing our thoughts down allows us to get it all out without the fear of judgment.
Our journal is a free space for us to be loud, unapologetic, and feel empowered through our words. We need to express exactly how we feel, it's how we become free.
Learn To Identify Your Toxic Thoughts
I'm going to keep it real with you all, this is an ongoing developing skill. When learning to identify your toxic thoughts, you have to work at it every single day and you won't be perfect at it. Learn to catch your negative thoughts in the moment and turn them around. A great example is turning a phrase like "I'll never love again" to "I will accept love into my life again when it is the right time for me." The more you practice this skill, the more likely you are to reprogram your brain and have a better outlook on life situations.
Forgive Yourself
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We all make mistakes. We all have toxic thoughts, have taken it too far or said too much, and have been hard on ourselves as a result. Forgive yourself, as you would forgive anyone you love. To forgive ourselves is also giving our mind permission to be at peace. Give yourself full permission to find self-acceptance and heal from the toxic thought patterns that have crowded your mind. You are human, still developing and growing in your flow. Embrace and love all of the characteristics that have made you into the beautiful divine feminine woman that you are. Detox your mind and be bold, loving, and forgiving towards yourself.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Took Three Months Off From Work In The Name Of Radical Self-Preservation
In the fourth quarter of 2023, I finally did it. I pulled the plug! To be honest, it was a long time coming. I spent years juggling all of the balls in my life, and on October 2, 2023, I dropped every one of them and fell into surrender mode.
I couldn’t take it anymore - work, family, relationships, politics, death, the ramifications of COVID-19, and my fears creeping in. I had either put off dealing with these things, or I simply didn’t want to acknowledge them. Instead, my time, energy, and focus were on everyone and everything beside me. I pushed myself to the limit; then everything started to consume me. Burnout was swallowing me whole, you feel me?
All of this forced me to do some much-needed introspection which I turned into my self-proclaimed, "Fade to Black Season."
What is a “Fade to Black Season,” you may ask?
It’s a call to rest.
It’s a call to reset.
It’s a call to retreat into a deep, quiet space.
It’s radical self-preservation.
Deciding to step back from everything was not an easy decision for me. I contemplated taking a break from everything for many years until I couldn’t put it off anymore. If I didn’t take this time off, I knew I wouldn’t be able to truly show up for the life that I claimed that I wanted for myself.
I know I’m not the only one who has felt this immense weight on their shoulders. Why? Because I’m a Black woman. According to Every Level Leadership, 88% of Black women sometimes often, or always have experienced burnout. And let’s be honest here - Black women work harder than any other group. We are the backbone of our jobs, families, and community. Because of this, we must incorporate rest as an integral part of our well-being. In case there’s some pushback, I’ll leave this quote here for you to marinate on:
“If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.” - Zora Neale Hurston
The reality is that with piles of work and life obligations, many of us are walking time bombs. And, for me, two weeks of PTO/vacation wasn’t enough time needed to balance myself, so I took three months off. If you feel called to do so, let this be your inspiration to take your own “Fade to Black Season.”
Here’s what I did.
- Shadow Work: I became best friends with my journal and illuminated the things I hid from myself to heal. Shadow work consists of the things you don’t like about yourself, your conscious and unconscious fears, and other negative emotions that exist due to past experiences and trauma.
- Trigger Warning: During this time, I let my triggers become my wisest teacher. I asked myself why various experiences, news, or communications resulted in negativity. I observed them, listened, and learned why they took up so much space in my life. Then, I allowed myself to choose to be open to a different outcome or feeling moving forward.
- Get Back To Pleasure: I re-centered my pleasure. I had to remind myself of what turned me on. I allowed myself to take life slowly, engage my senses, and play. I signed up for every tantra workshop, went to art museums in the middle of the day, took movement classes, and went to dance parties. I moved all the stagnant energy out of my body.
- Let Others Lift You Up: I let my people love on me. I let my loved ones take care of me. This wasn’t easy. I was used to being everyone’s support system and soft space to land. However, in my time of need, I finally let my tribe show up and show out for me. My only regret is not letting them do this sooner.
- Social Media Break: I broke up with social media during this time. Reclaiming my time and attention was an integral factor in calming my nervous system. I put blockers on my phone, and when I felt the urge to swipe and scroll, I took a walk or picked up a book.
- Redefine Your Life: After doing this type of work, I knew that I would never be the same. In this new space, boundaries and balance are prioritized, and everything else has to fall in line. I now have the mental/emotional space and capacity to do my best work!
Best of all, during this time, I found God in myself, and I loved her, fiercely.
My “Fade To Black" Season allowed me to grieve in peace, rest, tap into unrelenting joy, and simply be. At this point, me and peace got a good thing going on. Nothing else will be tolerated!
For those of you who are nervous about taking the first step, use The Dufree Foundation’s DIY Sabbatical Guide to help you plan, prep, and prepare yourself for your sabbatical - this is something I wish I had done before I leaped. Consider going on a Divine Pause Retreat to learn tips and tricks to avoid mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual burnout.
For those who work in social impact, apply for The Durfee Sabbatical program, which offers $60,000 and a three-month sabbatical, so nonprofit leaders can be a lever for whole systems change.
The choice to take a sabbatical is up to you! Just remember to prioritize yourself and never pour from an empty cup.
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Featured image by Maskot/Getty Images